Chapter 14 #2
The image she painted was devastating. I could see it perfectly—Annalise radiant in a traditional Luna gown, the pack gathered to honor her, the ancient ceremony that would have made her my equal in all things.
"Instead," Mom continued relentlessly, "I hear she's somewhere in Maine, and you're sitting here talking about your rights and your heir like she's breeding stock instead of the woman you destroyed."
"That's not—"
"It is exactly what you're doing." Mom moved to the window, looking out over the pack territory that should have been Annalise's domain.
"You keep talking about bringing her home, about what the pack needs, about your rights as an Alpha.
But you haven't once mentioned what she needs, what she wants, what she deserves. "
"I want to make it right," I said weakly.
"Do you? Jackson told me about your conversation with the investigator. You seem to think she'll be grateful to see you, that she'll just forgive and forget because you've decided you want her back."
We were arrogant, Ranger said with shame. We still don't understand the depth of what we did.
"She's my mate," I said, but the words sounded hollow even to me. "I always planned to be faithful to her after her eighteenth birthday. She had to know that. I was just... managing my needs while she grew up. I'm an Alpha—I have biological requirements that a child couldn't fulfill."
"She was your mate," Etta corrected sharply. "You rejected her, remember? You severed that bond yourself. Now she's just a girl you hurt, carrying the pup of the alpha who called her a whore."
"I was always going to choose her," I said desperately. "Once she was eighteen, I was going to be completely devoted. The other she-wolves were just... temporary. They meant nothing."
"They meant everything to her," Mom said with devastating clarity.
"Every woman you brought home, every night you spent with someone else, every time you ignored her while entertaining your temporary distractions—it told her she was worthless.
You thought you were being practical, managing your time until she was old enough.
She thought you were showing her exactly how little she mattered. "
The brutal truth of it hit me like a sledgehammer. I'd been thinking about this all wrong, assuming that Annalise would be the same devoted girl who'd waited for me for years. But my mother was right. That girl was gone. I'd destroyed her myself.
"What should I do?" I asked. I was no longer the strong, confident Alpha who led this pack. In that moment, I was just a son who had broken his most precious possession and had no idea how to fix it. I needed my mother's advice.
"You need to understand that you might have lost her forever, to prepare for the possibility that she's built a better life without you. I want you to accept that if she has, she deserves to keep it."
"I can't just give up on her. On them."
"I'm not asking you to give up. I'm asking you to go to her with humility instead of expectation. To apologize without demanding forgiveness. To put her needs above your wants for once in your life."
After my mother left, I sat alone with the weight of her words. Today should have been the happiest day of Annalise's life. Instead, she was spending it alone, probably not even celebrating, because the man who was supposed to love her had thrown her away.
I thought about the simple photo album she had made for my twentieth birthday, a gift I’d barely glanced at before moving on to Scarlett’s more adult offerings.
The memory, once trivial, now felt like a shard of glass in my gut.
She had been trying to show me her love in the only way she knew how, and I had been too blind and arrogant to see it, thinking only of my needs, not hers.
We have to find her, Ranger said with desperate longing. We have to make it right.
"What if she doesn't want to see me?"
We try.
Three days later, I was reviewing pack business when my phone rang. Corbin Pierce's name flashed on the screen.
"Tell me," I said without preamble.
"I found her."
The world stopped. After weeks of searching, of following false leads and dead ends, he'd found her.
"Where?"
"Crescent Bay, Maine. Small coastal town, maybe fifteen hundred people. She's working at a diner called Rita's, living in a small apartment upstairs."
Relief and terror warred in my chest. "Is she... how is she?"
"Looks healthy from what I could observe. The locals seem very protective of her. They think she's running from an abusive ex-boyfriend."
They're not wrong, Ranger said bitterly. We were abusive. We hurt her in every way that mattered.
"What's her situation?"
"Stable, from what I can tell. She has a job, a place to live, and what appears to be a strong support system. This isn't a desperate situation, Alpha Kane. She's building a life away from your pack."
The words should have been comforting, but they felt like a death sentence. If Annalise had found stability, friends, a place where she felt safe, why would she want to return to the Alpha who had rejected her, to the pack that had bullied her?
"I need to see her," I said.
"Alpha Kane, I have to advise extreme caution here. This girl has been through trauma. Showing up unannounced could undo all the progress she's made."
"She's my mate. That's my heir she's carrying."
"Legally, you have no claim to either of them. And if she's as settled as she appears, disrupting her life could be seen as harassment."
The reminder of my legal position stung, but I pushed it aside. "Send me everything you have. Address, workplace, whatever you've learned about her life there."
"Alpha Kane—"
"Send it. I'm going to Maine."
After I hung up, I sat in my office staring at the wall map that had consumed my life for six weeks. All those red pins, all those false leads, and she'd been in Maine the whole time. Building a new life, growing my child, creating the stability I'd ripped away from her.
We go to her, Ranger said with fierce determination. We find our family and we bring them home.
"What if she doesn't want to come home?"
She will when we prove we're worthy of her. However long it takes.
I called Jackson to my office and told him what Pierce had found. My Beta listened in silence, his expression growing more concerned with each detail.
"So what's the plan?" he asked when I finished.
"I go to Maine. I find her. I bring her home."
"Marshall," Jackson said carefully, "you're talking about this like she's going to be happy to see you. Like she's been waiting for you to come rescue her."
"She'll understand once I explain—" I started, then stopped.
How would I explain that I'd always planned to be the perfect mate once she turned eighteen?
That the other she-wolves were just a temporary solution to manage my alpha needs while I waited for her to mature?
I would need to think this through very carefully.
"We’ve discussed this,” Jackson said. “From what Pierce described, she's not some desperate girl waiting to be saved. She has friends, a job, stability. Why would she want to give that up to come back here?"
The question hit harder than I wanted to admit. "Because she's my mate. Because that's my heir she's carrying. She has to know I was always going to choose her in the end."
"You rejected her," Jackson said bluntly. "You severed the mate bond yourself. She doesn't owe you anything."
"But I was always planning to be devoted to her after her birthday," I said desperately, as if repeating my original intentions made them clearer.
"I just needed to manage my biological needs while she grew up.
I'm an Alpha—I couldn't remain celibate for years waiting for a child to mature. She had to understand that."
"Did she, though?" Jackson's voice was sharp. "Did you think to sit down and explain it to her?"
I shook my head. Of course, I didn’t sit down and discuss my sexual appetite with a young girl. "The pack needs its Luna. My son needs to be raised as the heir."
"Your son needs a father who won't call his mother a whore. Annalise needs a mate who won't throw her away the moment things get complicated," Jackson snarled back at me.
He's right, Ranger said sadly. We destroyed everything. We have no right to expect anything from her.
"I have to try," I said desperately. "I can't just leave her out there. I can't let my son grow up thinking his father didn't want him."
"Then you better be prepared for rejection," Jackson said. "Because that girl has every reason to hate you and no reason to trust you."
"I'll make her understand—"
"You'll make her understand?" Jackson's voice grew sharp. "You'll make her? Do you hear yourself? You're still talking about her like she's something to be managed instead of a person with her own thoughts and feelings."
The criticism stung because it was true. Even now, even after everything, I was still thinking about what I wanted, what I needed, what the pack required.
"How do I fix this?" I asked. I’d asked for advice from my mother. Now seemed like a good time to see what Jackson’s advice was.
"You start by accepting that you might not be able to fix this," Jackson replied. "You put her needs above your wants. You understand that if she's happy where she is, maybe that's more important than what you think you deserve."
That night, I stood in my empty office looking at another photograph Pierce had sent. Annalise outside a small diner, her hand resting protectively on her growing belly, talking to an older woman who radiated maternal concern.
She looked different. Older, more confident, like she'd found something in Maine that she'd never had here. Independence, maybe. Self-worth, maybe. She was glowing.
She's beautiful, Ranger said with longing. Our mate is so beautiful.
"She is," I agreed.
I'd always known she would be. That's why I'd been so confident about my plan—wait for her to mature, then transition seamlessly into being the devoted mate she deserved.
I'd genuinely believed I was being responsible, practical even.
An Alpha had needs, biological imperatives that couldn't be ignored.
The other she-wolves were just... maintenance.
A way to manage my requirements while protecting Annalise's innocence.
I'd never considered that she might see it differently. That every woman I brought home, every casual touch, every night I spent elsewhere was a message that she wasn't worth waiting for.
We were so arrogant, Ranger said with shame. We thought we could control everything, manage everyone's feelings like pack logistics.
"I thought she'd understand," I said quietly. "I thought she'd be grateful that I'd saved the real commitment for her."
Instead, we taught her she was worthless. We made her believe she was just a duty to be endured.
Annalise was building a life without me. Making friends, working hard, and preparing to raise our son alone.
But I had to try. I had to at least tell her I was sorry, that I knew what I'd thrown away, that she deserved better than what little I'd given her.
Even if she never forgave me, even if she sent me away without a second thought, I owed her the truth about that night. About how I felt when I held her, about the words I'd whispered in the darkness, about the love I'd been too proud and scared to acknowledge.
The hunt was almost over. Soon, I would face the woman I'd destroyed and try to find the words to make it right.
Prepare for rejection, Ranger warned.
"I know," I said softly. "But I have to try."
Losing her once had nearly killed me. Living the rest of my life without at least attempting to earn her forgiveness would finish the job.