Chapter 5 #2
Forcing herself to think back to the last time they had been intimate, she realized it had been almost eighteen months.
She had been ovulating, and they had timed everything perfectly.
Just as planned, the pregnancy stick turned blue two weeks later.
She carried that baby longer than any other.
She made it just four days shy of thirteen weeks when she lost it.
After that, her doctors referred her to a specialist in New York.
She underwent a new experiential procedure that promised her a much greater chance of carrying to term.
The specialist also encouraged her to begin fertility drugs, given her advanced age.
Taylor had laughed at that until she explained that women over thirty lost fertility much more quickly, and by thirty-five, she would be considered a high-risk pregnancy.
Since baby-making was put on the shelf as she went through the whole process, there had been no reason to be intimate.
Neither one seemed too bothered by the lack of sex.
If Bennett had pursued it, she would have complied.
If he had made an overture, she would have responded.
But he never did. He was always too busy or too tired.
She should have realized that meant they were on a dead-end path to nowhere.
It had been a month since she was given the all-clear to start trying for a baby again, but they were too busy trying to get Bennett named VP to worry about a baby.
Now, it seemed she had undergone everything for nothing.
She was destined to walk away from her marriage with no husband, child, job, position, or family.
She was right back where she was ten years earlier.
Only now, it was worse because the one person in the world she would have sworn would never hurt her had ripped her world apart.
Worse, he had done so in a very public and humiliating way.
Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought he would have an affair.
She never envisioned something so horrible as finding her husband in the country club screwing another woman.
To be fair, they weren't actually screwing, but Taylor was confident the only reason they weren't was because they had been interrupted.
One question kept coming back to her like a boomerang.
How long had it been going on? How long had Bennett and Poppy been involved?
She had so many questions about Poppy, Bennett, and the boy.
And no answers. Bennett was the only person who could give her those answers, and she was not ready to deal with him yet.
There was one person who might know something.
Over the last three days, she and Joules had only texted.
The poor woman was working double time to save Bennett's career.
By now, Joules would have gotten every sordid detail out of Bennett.
Taylor wanted to know what she had learned.
Grabbing her phone and dialing the number before she could change her mind, Taylor called Joules.
Joules answered on the first ring, "Hey, TJ, you okay?" It was the first time in days that Joules had sounded like her childhood friend and not her husband's campaign manager.
"Yeah, I am doing better. Nothing a little wine and Sex on the Beach can't fix."
"I hope you are referring to the drink and are not about to give me yet another scandal to deal with."
"You are so funny," replied Taylor, giving her friend a fake laugh. "I wish I knew someone to have sex on the beach with. I promise I will happily give you the biggest scandal ever. Alas, that is not the case. I am still the good little girl I have always been."
"Good. I have about all I can handle here as it is. So, what's up? You sound better. Is that ocean waves I hear in the background?"
"Yes, I am currently sprawled out in Edna Stone's personal beach cabana, eating her food, drinking her wine, and charging all of it to her."
"Well, not technically. We are being billed for any charges you make. But, yes, it is currently going under her name. That was to keep your name out of it. We are still trying to keep a lid on this, you know."
"Yeah, so how's that working for you?" Taylor was not sure she was interested in keeping it all quiet anymore. But Joules had worked hard to keep it all under wraps. It would have been wrong to blow it all by making a public mistake.
"Good. Things here have quieted down. Poppy has gone back to New York. She will be back for the gala, per Edna. Bennett has hit the campaign trail. He is traveling with Anderson all week. You two need to talk when he calls. Make sure you answer this time."
Rolling her eyes, Taylor responded, "Yeah, yeah. I hear you. I will cross that bridge when I get there. Until then, I have a few questions and need you to answer them."
Joules immediately sounded alarmed, "Oh no! I am not getting in the middle of this. I mean it. You two have to talk. After you talk, I will help you process any or all of it. But, if you want answers, you must get them from him.”
"Look, you are supposed to be my best friend. Stop being a damn campaign manager for one minute and talk to me as my friend!"
Joules startled. She had never heard Taylor curse before. Swallowing, she said, "Okay, ask away. I am not making any promises. But if I can answer, I will."
Taylor was quiet momentarily, and then she asked, "Have you met her?
"I assume by her, you mean Poppy, and yes, I have."
Taylor wanted to ask what she was like but was afraid of the answer. If Joules said she was great, it would only hurt her more. If she said Poppy was awful, Joules would know she was lying. Because, if she were awful, Joules would have already told her that, and Bennett would not be with her.
Taylor was quiet for another second before asking, "Have you met the boy? Bennett's son? It is his son, isn't it?" Taylor was amazed at how hard it was for her to say those words out loud.
"Yes, I have, and again, it is not my place to tell you all of this.
But since you have already figured it out, he is Bennett's son.
Bennett just recently found out about him, but the boy doesn't know Bennett is his father.
Now, that is all I am going to tell you.
If there is anything else you want to know about the boy, you have to ask Bennett. Understood?"
"Can you tell me if you have talked to her?"
Joules groaned before sighing heavily and saying, "Okay, yes, I have talked to her. I know you are not going to like this, but she seems to care about Bennett very much."
Taylor exploded, which is precisely what Joules was afraid she would do.
This was also just one of the many reasons she did not want to discuss Poppy with her.
"She cares about him! And what? I don't? If I didn't care about him, this shit would be all over the news by now.
Wow! That is great coming from the person who is supposed to be my best friend!
" Suddenly, all the anger that Taylor had been building up since the day before erupted on Joules.
It should have been directed at Bennett, but suddenly, it got directed at Joules instead.
"Now, hold on a minute. I am your best friend, but you are not being fair.
I never said you didn't care about Bennett.
If I thought for one minute that you were really in love with him, that your marriage was worth saving, I might feel differently.
But, be honest here. Things have been bad for a long time.
It's a lot longer than Poppy has been in the picture.
You're both miserable and have been for years. I just want to see both of you happy."
A cry burst from Taylor's throat, and she swallowed it back. In a childlike voice, she said, "You are supposed to be on my side. I don't have anybody else. He has an army to protect him. All I have is you."
Joules softened her tone. "I am on your side. I am always on your side. I am your whole damn Calvary! But life is messy, and this is a hot one."
Taylor stewed on that for a moment. She wanted to ask many more questions, but so far, the answers left her with more longing and hurt than she could handle.
Maybe she needed to drop it before she fell headlong into a major depression.
After a moment, she said, "You're right.
I am sorry. I am just so hurt and humiliated.
That woman has taken my husband. I don't know; maybe he was never mine to take.
The child is at least ten or eleven. This has been going on a very long time. "
"TJ, leave the child out of this. It is not his fault.
And we both know this has not been going on that long.
It might have started back then, but it has just started back recently, like the day of the art luncheon.
You know, none of this is Bennett's style.
He wouldn't have married you if he had still been involved with Poppy ten years ago.
What happened before then or since I can't say.
Also, I want you to think about something.
It takes two people to make a marriage work and two people to allow it to fail.
Bennett certainly has a lot to account for, but so do you, TJ.
I love you with my whole heart, but you do.
If you can't be honest with me, at least be honest with yourself about the part you have played in allowing your marriage to become what it is today. "
It did not matter that Taylor had already come to realize what Joules was saying on her own.
She was not in any frame of mind to agree.
Instead, she said, "I don't think we need to talk about this right now.
I am just too angry. And besides, how do you know that Bennett hasn't been lying to both of us for a long time?
Maybe he is just a big fat liar. He has spent most of the last seven years in Washington learning from the best." Taylor sounded petty and rude.
And she did not care. She had had all the truth bombs she wanted for the day.
"It's okay to be angry. Anger can be good. I like you angry much better than the emotionally checked-out woman you have been for the last year and a half. I know you can't see it now, but this could be a wonderful new start for you. Who knows, you might meet someone and fall in love?"
"And then what, get married and pop out a couple with kids? We both know that isn't going to happen," Taylor snapped. "Already tried that. It's a no-go unless you have been so busy saving his royal ass to remember."
"Wow! You are just a major little potty mouth today. I have never heard you use so many curse words."
"I am a late bloomer, and besides, I learned from the best, talking to you every day for the last fifteen years, so back at you bitch," Taylor sassed back. Then, she added, "You know I am not really calling you a bitch, right?"
"Of course, crazy woman! And you have a point; I will take it as a point of pride that I have taught you well, Grasshopper.
Now, to the part about meeting someone, settling down, and having a family.
We don't actually know that is a no-go. You told me the doctors were very optimistic about that last procedure. So, maybe this is your Do Over?"
"My what?" Taylor practically screeched. For a woman who had never screeched a day in her life, the sound was not pretty, but nothing about her felt attractive at the moment, so she did not care.
"Your Do Over. Your chance to start your life over with more maturity and a better understanding of who you are and what you want out of life. And, lucky you. You don't have a lot of baggage that a house full of children would have brought."
"Thank you so much for reminding me how lucky I am to have had all of those miscarriages. I would not want to be loaded down with a ton of extra baggage as I start my new life. And who said I wanted a new life anyway? I was doing just fine with the one I had."
Sighing loudly, Joules shot back, "Now, who's the big liar?
We both know that was not true. And I didn't mean the baggage comment the way you took it.
I am just trying to help here. You have been only half living for so long.
I miss you. I miss my friend. Over the last few years, you have become closed off.
You know what I am talking about. This is me, TJ.
Be real with yourself if you can't yet be real with me.
Take the next few days and spend some time thinking, really thinking, about your marriage and where you want to go from here.
Bennett will be calling. When he does, I expect you two to talk like adults.
" Joules was trying to be patient, but Taylor was acting like a brat. A hurt brat, but a brat nevertheless.
After a moment, Taylor said, "Fine. Whatever."
"I will fly down early on the jet Saturday and bring you back for the gala.
I hate to do this, but I have to go. We have another strategy session that is about to begin.
Ever since Edna Stone took over, all we do is meet.
She is a force to be reckoned with. I may have to take some lessons from her because she has all of us running around doing her bidding.
We will talk soon. If you need anything, call.
Oh, and TJ, I really do love you. Please don't be mad at me for being honest with you. I only want the best for you."
"I know you do. And I love you, too. I am not mad at you. I am just…" Taylor's words faltered, and her voice cracked. Holding back tears, she said, "I don't know what I am." After a few more seconds, she added, "You go and deal with the sharks. I'll be fine. Talk to you in a few days. Love you."
Joules said, "Love you too." Then she hung up.
Taylor sat staring at her phone for several minutes, lost in her thoughts.
In one fell swoop, her life had been turned upside down again.
She did not know exactly what the next stage of her life would entail, but she was no longer a little, lost orphan girl of twenty-two.
She was done with knights in shiny armor.
She had depended on that fantasy once before, and look how that turned out.
Nope, no more Prince Charming for her. Whatever came next, she would face it on her own.