Chapter eleven Penn #2
“No. I’m just surprised. I know you’ve talked about this here and there, but you’re actually doing it? You’re actually starting your business?”
“I couldn’t pass up the price on this place.” My eyes move around the room. “It’s a mess now, and I still have a lot of money and time to put into it, but yeah. I’m doing it.”
Grady closes the distance between us and reaches out to shake my hand. I meet him halfway. “Then congratulations, man. This is huge.”
“It’s not that big of deal,” I say, turning away from him to grab some work gloves from my bag and sliding them over my fingers, feeling his eyes on me as I do.
“Yeah, it is. It’s you moving forward, finally taking control. Hell, did Astrid put you up to this?”
Fuck. Just him mentioning her has my spine stiffening, among other things. “No. She didn’t find out about it until the other night. Why do you ask?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. You know how she can be pushy about things.”
“Pretty sure you’re the one that’s been pushy with me about this topic.”
He grins. “True, but hey, you finally did something about it, didn’t you?”
The timing was serendipitous for me, much like her, but part of me doing this is so I have something for myself, and something to offer her. She deserves a hardworking man who can take initiative.
She deserves a man like her husband.
“I never told her about this plan.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Why is that a surprise?”
Grady eyes me wearily. “Uh, because you two spend every waking minute together and I assumed she’d know.”
“Well, she didn’t.”
“Grumpy today, huh?” He grins at me. “Shouldn’t you be in a better mood after your championship win?” Then he snaps his fingers and I have a feeling I’m not going to like what comes out of his mouth next. “I know what it is. You need to get laid, don’t you?”
I nearly choke on my own saliva.
If you only knew, Grady. If you only knew.
“My sex life is none of your concern,” I reply, wanting him to drop this topic before it gets really awkward, really fast. I know I’m going to have to talk to him eventually about how I feel about his sister, but now is not the time, especially since Astrid and I haven’t even defined our relationship yet.
Fuck. Are we in a relationship now?
“I’m just looking out for you. I mean, maybe Astrid was right.” He takes his beanie off his head, runs his hand through his hair, and then replaces it, sighing out loud. “Maybe we should start dating.”
I eye him wearily. “Each other?”
He flips me off and I laugh. “You know what I mean.”
“If that’s what you feel like you need to do, then by all means, do it. But I’m not interested.”
“Yeah, I guess you do have your hands full with this place now, huh?”
“Exactly.”
“Does this mean you’re quitting the hardware store and the restaurant?”
“Not yet.”
“Why not? You’re telling me that you’re going to continue working at the hardware store, helping out at the restaurant, chasing my sister around, and renovate a rental property?” Grady shakes his head.
“Yeah, I am. I can handle it.” I choose to ignore the comment about his sister.
He blows out a breath. “You’re fucking crazy, man.”
“Well, this is the only option I have right now.” It’s the only option that’s going to keep me from flipping out entirely over the risk I’m taking, that is.
Can I keep up with it all? Is this how my life will always be?
Chaos wrapped up in duty? The feeling of having to be there for everyone else because that’s what I’ve always done—what my father taught me to do?
I just wish I felt more secure, more confident that the choices I’m making won’t come back and bite me in the ass.
My anxiety is through the roof and my adrenaline is fueling me because otherwise I’d probably collapse from the exhaustion of it all.
Life has been crazy—coaching soccer, renovating Astrid’s bakery, balancing two jobs and now this place, plus trying to start something with the woman I want more than anything.
Will being selfish for once ruin the relationships I’ve made in my life and the reputation I’ve built for myself?
Will going after what I want actually make me happy?
Or will the foundation of my comfortable life shatter completely and leave me standing on nothing but fragments of who I was and what I wanted?
“I’m gonna get out of here. The gym gets too crowded if I get there after nine,” Grady announces, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Have fun. My workout is here.” I motion to the mess beside me.
Grady laughs. “I can’t wait to see the place when it’s done.”
“Let’s just hope I can find some tourists to book it.”
“In Carrington Cove? That shouldn’t be a problem at all.
But I’ll wish you luck, nonetheless.” Grady shakes my hand and leaves, granting me silence again.
But the silence only makes my thoughts spin more, so I turn on my music, strip my coat off, slide my safety goggles on, and get to work, trying not to think too hard about what I’m going to say to Astrid later tonight, but eager to see her nonetheless.
***
“I’m fairly certain this is where my childhood anxiety came from,” Astrid says as she slowly lowers the tweezers to the Operation game board, trying to extract the wishbone, which is the hardest one to grab, in my opinion.
“It was either from this or Perfection,” I reply, watching her jump as soon as the buzzer goes off because the tweezers touched the board.
She tosses the tweezers down and slides the game to Lilly. “That one definitely added to it.”
While I was working on my house earlier, I envisioned our reunion going a lot differently than this. She’d open the door, our eyes would lock, I’d slam my lips to hers, and pin her up against the wall, showing her how much I want her so she doesn’t question whether this was a one-time thing or not.
But scenarios like that don’t happen in real life when kids are involved, especially given that Lilly and Bentley have absolutely no idea anything is going on between us.
I mean, fuck. We haven’t had a chance to say two words to each other since I walked through the door and Lilly shoved Operation in my face.
Our Thursday night game ritual was interrupted last week because of Bentley’s fight and Astrid’s date with Dick that never happened, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about little seven-year-old girls, they don’t forget a damn thing that you promise them.
Lilly screams as the buzzer goes off, making us all laugh. “This game is scary!”
“You’re the one that chose it,” Bentley says.
Lilly glares at him before sliding the game over to me. We’re down to two pieces, the Adam’s apple and the wishbone, and with my big ass fingers, I already know I’m going to lose. Sure enough, it only takes a few seconds and the game fucking buzzes. “Shit,” I mutter.
“Ooooo, Uncle Penn said a bad word!” Lilly giggles.
Astrid motions for Lilly to sit down in her chair since the kid is practically lying on the table right now. “Lilly, Uncle Penn is an adult. He’s allowed to.”
“Can I have kisses from Daddy again?” she asks, changing the subject. But just like she did earlier, Astrid meets my eyes as soon as Brandon is mentioned.
Fuck, these kids need to go to bed. Now.
“No, sweetie. You already had three.”
Lilly leans back in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest, pouting. “Not fair. You’ve had more than three chocolates.”
I brought over Ferrero Rocher for Astrid like I always do, and she’s practically eaten the entire package, which means she’s nervous. She always eats when she’s got a lot on her mind, and the image of her licking her lips while eating said chocolate has been on my mind all evening as well.
Lucky for us, Bentley finishes up the game on his turn and then, because it’s Sunday and the kids have school tomorrow, they go to bed early. As soon as Astrid comes back from the hallway to say good night to them, our eyes lock across the living room.
“Hey,” I say as I hear my heart beating in my ears.
“Hey,” she replies softly.
And then I move toward her, grabbing her hand and leading her into the kitchen, out of sight in case one of the kids comes out of their rooms. Spinning her around, I press her back to the pantry door, pin her hands above her head, and slam my lips to hers just like I wanted to, immediately feeling her melt beneath my touch.
Kissing now. Talking later. That’s what my dick decided about ten minutes ago.
Astrid pushes her hips against mine as we kiss, so I reach down, hoist one of her legs up to wrap around my waist, and push my cock into her, letting her know how much I want her, how much I fucking need her.
“Penn…”
“Astrid…”
Our tongues tangle again and she lets out a soft moan. I release her arms and lift her up, wrapping both of her legs around my waist and pushing her against the door. She digs her nails into the hair on the back of my head, rubbing her pussy against my stomach, searching out friction.
We’re supposed to be talking, using our words like adults. But it looks like we’re desperate to talk with our bodies instead.
I rear back and take a moment to look at her. Her lips are wet and plump from the assault I just gave her mouth. Her hair is falling from her clip, framing her face. And her eyes—they’re more golden than their usual green.
God, she’s so fucking gorgeous.
I rest my forehead on hers and take a few deep breaths, trying to calm my dick. “Fuck, Astrid. God, I want you so much…”
She leans forward and kisses me again, deeply, intensely, before breaking our kiss and whispering, “I guess we could talk later then.”
“I like the way you think.” Smiling against her mouth, I hoist her up and carry her down the hallway to her room.
I lower her to the ground and shut the door softly, locking it for good measure. But that’s when it hits me—I’m in her room, her room that she shared with Brandon. My eyes scour the space, taking in every detail that’s hers and not finding much of my best friend anywhere.
“Penn?”