Chapter eight
Scottie
“I’m pregnant.”
Silence falls in the room as I wait for a reaction from the two most important women in my life, the reasons I moved back to Carrington Cove in the first place—because I knew I’d have their support. I just didn’t think it would be for this.
“Goodness gracious, Scottie.” My mother stares at me from across the couch in her living room. Gigi is sitting in a chair in the other corner, and I’m stationed on the loveseat across from them with my legs tucked underneath me.
I left Grady’s yesterday feeling uneasy about everything, especially leaving him with little explanation, once again.
But I figured he needed time to process and so did I, so I went home and made dinner for Chase and me, then slept for ten hours before waking this morning knowing I couldn’t keep this from my mom and grandma any longer.
I’ve only been back in Carrington Cove for two weeks, and my life has already taken another turn.
Hey, universe? Yeah, it’s me, Scottland! I’d like to get off of this ride now, please!
“Yeah.”
“How are you feeling?” my mother asks, after a few minutes of processing.
“Nauseous and tired. It was the throwing up that finally made me question it. I mean, before Grady, I hadn’t had sex in almost two years. Andrew hadn’t touched me in forever, and the idea of sleeping with some stranger just didn’t appeal to me, you know?”
Gigi snickers. “Well, that Grady is walking sex on a stick, so it’s no wonder that he knocked you up on the first try.”
We actually had sex three times that night, but that detail isn’t necessarily relevant at this point. I roll my eyes and look back at my mom. “I’m about eleven weeks by my calculations, which puts me due in the middle of September. My appointment is this week, so I’ll know more then.”
Blinking, my mother stares across the room at me before snapping herself out of it. “First of all, you’re not alone in this, Scottland. Okay? Carrington Cove is home now, and Mom and I will be here in whatever way we can.” Gigi nods. “And second, have you talked to Grady yet?”
“I did yesterday.”
“And what did he say?”
I stare at my lap, picking at the hem of my sweater. “He was surprised.” I mean, we both were. We used a condom, and I know I’m not on the pill, but all I keep thinking is I should have kept taking my birth control after the divorce. It would have at least been another layer of protection.
“And what does he want? I mean, are you two…”
“No,” I cut her off. “I can’t go there, Mom.”
She glances at me sympathetically. “Scottie…”
“No. I tried to make things work with Andrew and look how that turned out.”
“Andrew Warner is a piece of shit who cares about no one but himself,” Gigi interjects, pounding her fist on the arm of the chair she’s sitting in.
“You did what you could and what you thought was best at the time, Scottland, but he was never going to be the man you deserved. He’s a liar and a cheater.
If it weren’t for the fact that he gave you Chase, I’d hunt him down and light his pants on fire myself. ”
Letting laughter escape my lips, I stare at my grandmother. “Thank you, Gigi.”
“But Grady…” my mother chimes in.
“Is my friend,” I finish for her. “We are friends.”
“Who bumped uglies,” Gigi says as my mother snorts. “Doesn’t sound like just friends to me.”
Sighing, I adjust myself in my spot. “Look, I blame it on the alcohol, okay?”
It wasn’t just his brown eyes, which felt like portals to the past, or his smile that made my vagina clench, or the way his arms bulged against the sleeves of his shirt, or how being in his presence again reminded me of how he used to make me feel when I was younger—seen and understood.
Nope. I couldn’t blame it on any of those things, either. Just the alcohol. That’s the story I’m sticking to.
“So how is this going to work?” My mom leans against the arm of the couch, resting her chin in her hand.
“We’ll co-parent. It’s not like I need a partner. Hell, I did this practically on my own the first time.”
“Is that what he wants?”
“I don’t know yet, since we haven’t talked about it, but I can’t see why not. I mean, he has his own life, his business to run, and a life here that I’m changing. I don’t need to upend it any more than I already have.”
My mother narrows her eyes at me. “Is that what he said?”
“We didn’t talk much. I told him the news, he was in shock, so I left him to process.”
My mom and Gigi share a look, then Gigi focuses back on me. “Scottie, I know this isn’t what you were looking for when you moved back, baby, but maybe this is all happening for a reason.”
I huff out a laugh. “Yeah, that I didn’t listen well enough in sex ed and I never should have gone off the pill when Andrew and I divorced.”
She shakes her head. “Children are a blessing, and regardless of how this works out with Grady, you know your mother and I are here. Please don’t forget that.”
Tears fill my eyes. “I know. I’m sorry, though…”
My mother stands from the couch and comes to sit next to me. “Why on earth are you apologizing?”
“Because history is repeating itself and I have no idea how I’m supposed to do this again.
God, I just wanted a fresh start—for me and my son.
” I wipe my nose on the sleeve of my sweater, curling into my mother’s arms, allowing myself to finally fall apart, although I could also blame that on the hormones.
I hate that I feel stuck between the past and present, like all my past choices are cycling through again.
I’ve already visited this rodeo and it was chaos—a long road of figuring out that you can go into something with the best of intentions, but ultimately, life is going to work out the way it’s supposed to, and people will disappoint you no matter what.
That’s why I think it’s just better if Grady and I stay friends.
If we tried for more and it didn’t work, I wouldn’t bounce back from that destruction.
Our lifelong friendship has already shifted because we slept together, and now that we’re having a child, I think it’s safe to say nothing will ever be the same.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t freeze where we are and just try to make the best of it.
It’s the only solution that doesn’t leave me vulnerable again. I barely feel like I’m back on solid ground after my divorce. I don’t need to step in quicksand once more.
My mom sways us back and forth, comforting me the only way she can.
“You are not alone.” She takes a deep breath.
“Grady doesn’t seem like a man that walks away from his responsibilities.
You need to talk to him. Even if you don’t want to be involved with him romantically, he is your friend.
You know him. Do you honestly think he would let you do this on your own? ”
“That’s the thing, I don’t know him.”
My mother releases me and arches a brow. “Scottie, am I really supposed to believe that? All I can remember hearing from you back in high school was Grady this, and Grady that…”
“But it’s been seventeen years. We aren’t the same people we were back then.”
She brushes my curls from my face and wipes a tear from my cheek.
“Then get to know each other now. You obviously felt comfortable enough to sleep with the man, so lean into that and see where it takes you. That man is not Andrew. I saw it in his eyes when he came here looking for you back in December, Scottie.” I look straight into her eyes, trying to grasp the truth of her words.
“What did he look like?” I ask, not sure I want the answer, but my grandmother interjects before my mom can answer.
Gigi clears her throat. “Was the sex good at least?”
“Mom!” my mother exclaims, glancing over her shoulder at my grandma as I sniffle through a laugh.
“What? If you’re gonna get knocked up, it’s gotta be worth it. I mean, I remember the night your father and I conceived you and my God, he rocked my world that time…”
My mother shakes her head as we share a laugh. “Gigi, it was…” I let out a sigh because there aren’t words eloquent enough to describe how Grady touched my body, how safe he made me feel, how sex with him was so intense that it scared the shit out of me.
She claps slowly. “Then the man did his job. And if he can do that right, there’s probably a lot more he’s capable of too.”
***
“Come to momma.” As soon as I open the door to Smells Like Sugar, which used to be the Sunshine Bakery when I was a kid, cinnamon and sugar assault my senses and intensify my craving, which is why I’m here before I head into work this morning.
Last night, as I went to bed, I got the strangest craving for something with cinnamon and apples, and when I woke up, the craving was amplified. So here I am, preparing to eat my weight in baked goods since it’s the only thing that sounds delicious at the moment.
“Oh. Hi, there.”
I glance up from the display case to find Astrid, Grady’s sister, standing on the other side of the counter. Seeing her just reminds me that I’m having a child with her brother, and she’s going to be my kid’s aunt.
Jesus, this is getting more complicated by the second.
“Hi, Astrid.”
Her friendly smile seems genuine, but I have no idea if Grady has shared our news with her yet, so I feel uneasy standing in front of her right now. But if I don’t get an apple fritter in the next five minutes, I might chew someone’s head off.
“I know about the baby.”
Okay then. No beating around the bush. I guess I have to appreciate her directness. “Um…”
She rounds the counter and comes out to the side I’m standing on.
“Look, this doesn’t have to be awkward. In fact…
” Her smile grows. “I’m really freaking excited because I get to be an aunt.
I swear, I never thought Grady would ever have kids, especially after these past few years.
” She rolls her eyes and pulls me by the hand, closer to the case.
“But everything happens for a reason, right?”
My eyes must be bugging out of my head. “Yeah, that’s how the saying goes, isn’t it?”