Chapter Four
Iona
I ona kicked at a loose pebble in the farmyard, watching it skitter across the dusty ground. She let out a huff, then ground her teeth. So, she probably shouldn’t have been so grouchy with the guest over breakfast. Catriona would be annoyed if she found out – and Catriona had enough to be doing – but something about him got on her nerves – on principle. She wasn’t even sure what, apart from the fact that he’d made her graze her arm and twist her ankle.
‘Everything ok?’ Catriona came out and opened a large silver bin. She scooped out some seeds and tossed them around the yard, and the chickens skittered about, pecking at it.
‘Just thinking about the numpty who’s now knocked into me twice. It’s like he’s on a mission to take me out. That’s partly why I don’t want to take him to the castle, in case it’s third time lucky.’
‘He seems really nice.’ Catriona huffed out a laugh. ‘I’m sure he didn’t do it on purpose.’
Iona crossed her arms. ‘Well, whatever he is, he’s a menace. I think I should keep out of his way. For my own safety… and his.’ She slapped her hands together.
‘You’ve really got it in for him, haven’t you?’
‘I could say the same about you and Alex.’
‘Let’s not go there.’ Catriona looked away. ‘I wouldn’t even have taken him on. My mum did it before she got too ill to run this place.’
Iona let out a slow breath. ‘What’s your deal with him?’ She didn’t get why Catriona was so irritable with Alex. ‘Has he done something bad? If he’s done anything horrible to you. I’ll kill him.’
‘Thanks.’ Catriona gave her a smile. ‘But it’s not that. I can’t explain it. He just… I don’t know… Has a way of annoying me.’
Sounded exactly what that guest did to her. ‘Where is Alex anyway?’
‘He’s driving Eilidh to school. She had some heavy books to take for a talk today and she didn’t want to carry them on the minibus.’
‘I see.’ Except she didn’t. Why did someone so helpful annoy Catriona so much? ‘That was nice of him.’
‘Oh yeah. He loves Eilidh, and she loves him.’ Catriona walked across the yard, and Iona raised her eyebrows at Catriona’s back.
‘Are you jealous or something?’
Catriona turned around and sighed. ‘Not really. He just likes to disagree with me for the sake of it. He never says anything, but I know he thinks I’m too young to run this place. I can tell he thinks I’m incompetent. I know we need to diversify. But whatever I suggest, he dismisses it and makes out that I’m clueless. It’s not like he knows any better. He doesn’t have a background in business or finance.’
‘It’s just men,’ Iona muttered. ‘Bunch of twats who talk rubbish.’
Catriona laughed. ‘Yeah. That sounds about right.’
‘I bet that MacNeil character is the same – a total history nerd. Imagine being stuck on a boat with him while he prattles on about his ancestors. When’s Ruaridh coming back? He can take—’
Catriona coughed and her eyes widened slightly; she made a subtle motion with her hand like she was half waving, half pointing. Iona frowned.
‘What?’ Iona said. ‘What’s wrong?’
Catriona’s eyes flicked behind Iona’s shoulder, and she raised her eyebrows meaningfully. Iona turned around slowly, her cheeks flushing as she saw Monty standing there, adjusting his glasses and glancing around.
‘Hello again,’ he said with a half-smile.
Shit. Had he heard her? Maybe she didn’t care if he had. Who was he to her anyway?
‘Is everything ok?’ Catriona asked.
‘I… um… was just wondering if you knew anyone else with a boat…’ He glanced at Iona. ‘The person you suggested’ – he returned his focus to Catriona – ‘is too busy.’
Iona felt the heat in her face. Shit. Shit. Shit. How bad did this make her look? Why did she always do this? Opened her mouth and put her foot in it. Exactly the reason she lost her job in the civil service. Why did she never learn? Would she ever?
‘It’s a bit windy,’ Catriona said. ‘Making a landing today might be tricky. My brother Ruaridh will be back at the end of the week. He has a boat too and that might be better.’
‘Oh?’ Monty glanced at Iona. ‘Is he a better driver?’
Iona folded her arms and narrowed her eyes. Ok, so she probably deserved that, but really? Could she let him get away with it?
‘Not at all,’ Catriona said. ‘But Iona has a job teaching water sports.’
‘Of course.’ He smiled at Catriona, and she returned it. Iona sucked on her lower lip. Did they fancy each other? Jesus Christ. What did Catriona see in Monty? He looked like a lost academic who’d wandered into the wilderness.
‘Would you like to have the bike again today?’ Catriona asked him.
‘Yes, please. If I can’t do the boat trip, I guess the bike will do.’
‘The waves are good for body boarding and surfing today, not for landing on the island.’ Iona turned away from him. His eyes were distracting, bizarrely his arms were too, with those rolled-up shirtsleeves exposing nicely tanned skin with a light dusting of hair. WTAF? ‘And that’s my job, so that’s what I’m doing.’ As well as waffling. What is the matter with me? Though she had a fair idea. In fact, she’d suspected for a while now that she had ADHD. It was why her brain bounced around all over the place and she so often had difficulty focusing. But was it just that? Or was something else happening here?
‘Of course.’
‘Well…’ Catriona looked between the two of them.
‘I, uh, overheard your conversation…’ Monty scraped some stray strands of hair off his face and Iona caught his eye. Heat flared inside her. Fuck . This wasn’t good. What if he asked Catriona for a refund? Or left a bad review? Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut? But she never could. She blinked, not wanting to see Catriona’s expression. Iona had let her down. How could she hurt her friend like this?
‘…about diversification,’ Monty continued, giving Iona the smallest of glances.
What? Just what? Iona chewed her tongue. For all his smart clothes and the nerdy guy in glasses look, he knew how to play. If he’d heard that, he’d heard the other bit and now he was toying with her, making her squirm.
‘It’s part of life on an island,’ Catriona said. ‘We have to adapt to survive. My family’s been doing it for centuries.’
Monty nodded, adjusting his glasses. ‘I work in finance and corporate banking. I’ve worked on a few similar projects. Nothing quite as remote as this, but places with the same vibe. You know what’s really popular?’
‘What?’ Catriona cocked her head, smiling a somewhat goofy smile, and Iona wanted to look away and retch.
‘Glamping pods. They’re all the rage, and you’ve got such a perfect spot for them.’
Iona snorted before she could stop herself.
Monty raised an eyebrow and their gazes locked. ‘Why not?’
What? The depth of his hazel eyes, half hidden behind his glasses, transfixed her. Flecks of green and gold in his irises sparkled like gems. His gaze was gentle, and her heart flickered, making her breath catch. The noise of the chickens and lull of the sea nearby faded away, leaving nothing but the two of them.
Catriona coughed and waved her hand before her mouth, breaking the spell. ‘Excuse me. Something caught in my throat.’
Iona glanced at her, then realised Monty was still waiting for an answer. ‘Well, nothing… I didn’t say anything.’ But she hadn’t needed to. She just didn’t like the idea because he’d thought of it, not for any concrete reasons. Exactly what Catriona had been complaining about Alex doing. Honestly, she was so bad for this kind of thing, leaping in, opening her mouth before thinking. ‘But you know this is a working farm?’
‘I do.’
‘Actually, it’s not a bad idea.’ Catriona tilted her head. ‘It would mean more work, but I don’t feel people are looking for B they were tumultuous, making her stomach writhe. The faint nausea reminded her of that day. The day she’d given up on the old life she’d spent years at a boarding school preparing for.
One high-stakes meeting had seen to it. She’d been in charge of presenting a crucial report to senior officials. Such pressure. The room was filled with expectant eyes, all waiting for her. She had to say something. Her hands trembled uncontrollably, her voice wavered, the carefully prepared speech was gone. She blurted something out, a half-baked attempt at summarising the report, that turned into a bashing session. She hadn’t meant it but there were so many injustices, and they were all she could remember. Before she’d got very far, someone else had stepped in and suggested she took her seat and let him finish. Talk about humiliating. The mansplainer of the year had ‘saved’ her. But only momentarily. No way could she keep going in her job after that. Especially when she’d discovered Tom, her ‘reliable’ boyfriend, with his neat suits and scheduled life, had been cheating on her. Well, fuck him and all of them. She had a better life now than she’d ever had.
Pulling the hoody over her head, she breathed deeply, shaking the memory out of her head. But Monty reminded her of that bastard Tom: intellectual, composed, smartly dressed, publicly a gentleman, everything she no longer trusted. She’d never trust someone like that again. No men were worth coveting. She didn’t want to ‘win’ one only to lose him again. She’d faced enough humiliation. No one here knew about her past. She could avoid their pitying looks and pointless sympathy and be who she wanted to be.
She could surf and swim. The water sports school was something she enjoyed doing. Who cared if it didn’t work in the long run? She could always do something else.
Not trying is better than failing . It was safer not to dream, not to hope. After all, dreams were for talented people, not for someone who always choked when it mattered. People couldn’t count on her, and she couldn’t afford to let herself believe otherwise. She was safer on her own, where she couldn’t disappoint anyone or herself. If she stuck to teaching people to enjoy the water, she could take joy from that and that was important.
‘Right.’ She shook her head, pushing away the latest round of negative thoughts. They could get out of her mind. Waves called and she could let loose and be free. No risk to her heart or her pride, just her body, and she didn’t mind that. The thrill was what it was all about, and she was here for it.