Chapter 34
CHAPTER 34
OLIVER
A cigarette sits nestled between my lips as I stare at the trees, trying to find some way to distract myself without massacring half the town. I’m out of ideas though, so what do I do? I disassociate by staring at the fucking trees.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don’t even hear the door open. The only thing that pulls me out of my daze is when someone sits down beside me.
My head snaps around and my eyes settle on Ro as he pulls out a joint and lights it.
“What are you doing?” I groan before sucking on the cancer stick and looking back at the trees.
“You’ve been out here for hours. I figured you were probably beating yourself up over what happened,” he explains directly.
I roll my eyes. I’m not beating myself up. I’m not even thinking about it. If I was, Charlie would be dead and probably a dozen other people as well. That’s the point of disassociating. It doesn’t bother me.
I don’t respond, though I know he is expecting me to. He didn’t ask a question and I don’t feel like talking.
I remove the cigarette from my lips and blow out the smoke before putting it back in its previous spot.
“Charlie is a dick. If we could get rid of him, we would. He’ll be gone in a few months. At least Perla will take him off our hands,” he adds dryly.
I’ve been counting down the days since he said he was moving in with her. This place will be a lot more peaceful with him gone.
“The others may have been blind, but I’m not. Beth wasn’t just a good time to you and vice versa. I know that was her with you in the kitchen a week and a half ago. You could’ve just staked your claim on her and told Nigel to kick rocks.”
Why is he bringing this up? Beth is fucking gone. She left . I don’t fucking have her and neither does Nigel. She made it clear she wants nothing to do with either of us.
I know part of that is my fault. I lost my shit because I’m a fucking nut case and can’t handle a handful of people coming at me, demanding answers. I probably would’ve been able to hold my cool if Charlie hadn’t pulled the stunt of trying to walk into my room while I was already spiraling.
Like Beth said, Nigel was never going to let her go. That’s what she said at the carnival to Gunderson. There’s only so much I can do without putting myself on the chopping block and…I can’t kill Nigel.
I want her to be safe, to be happy, to be mine.
However, that’s a wishlist at this point.
“I know to some extent I’m supposed to be on Nigel’s side of this, but that’s not logical. I pay attention to shit and no one can deny that women fall at Nigel’s feet every fucking day. He isn’t what would be considered an acquired taste, but you? I’ve seen the amount of people that run from you and how scared the general public is of you. Beth isn’t though. I saw the way she looked at you, like you hung the moon and created the stars. You don’t come across that very often. Neither do I. Judy is it for me and I think Beth might be it for you, too.”
I take in a much deeper puff of my smoke than I normally do, trying like hell to cloud my brain from the truths he’s spitting.
Block it out.
Shove it down.
Ignore it.
“What do you expect me to do? She’s gone, in case you haven’t noticed,” I growl before stubbing out my cigarette.
“Oh, I noticed.” He frowns as he looks at me. “You let her believe something that wasn’t true and exposed something to Nigel that I bet was supposed to be a secret. Clearly, she was upset. All you need to do is talk to her and explain yourself–I know, a truly novel concept for you. You can’t just bark and expect her to go along with whatever you say.”
“Woof.” I roll my eyes. I know I don’t talk a lot and get pissy when people demand answers from me or want me to talk.
He makes it sound so easy, but he doesn’t know my princess like I do. She won’t listen to anyone when she’s pissed off and she was clearly full of rage.
“What exactly did Nigel do to her?” he asks, his voice low. “When she pulled a gun on him and tried to shoot him, she said if he didn’t let her leave, she would tell us what he did. Do you know what that was?”
I didn’t ask about the gunshot I heard, but when I watched her walk out the door, I noticed no injuries on her so, it didn’t matter who shot the gun. Now to hear it was her who pulled the trigger, I’m a little proud of her.
It’s the first sign of her standing up for herself since Nigel hurt her.
My teeth grind at the reminder of the state I found her in that night. “She didn’t tell me explicitly, but based on her behavior afterward, I’d say he raped her.”
Ronan flinches at my statement and slowly shakes his head. “Why haven’t you said anything?”
“I don’t have any concrete proof or, trust me, he would’ve been in Warehouse Five weeks ago.” I take another long drag of the cancer stick before tossing it away. “She said we let it happen because she was begging for us to help her and we let him drag her into that room.”
Guilt.
Shame.
Regret.
It all hits me like a ten-ton truck, like it does every time I think about it.
“He fucking knows better, not just morally either. He knows the fucking rules better than anyone.”
I can’t argue against that. I completely agree and Ro is usually the one that I chronically disagree with. He acts all morally superior to the rest of us, but not in a bad way. More like he’s an actual good guy instead of fucked in the head like I am.
“Hey.”
I snap my head around as Gunderson walks around the side of the house in her badly stitched, rainbow colored dress. I think she makes her own clothes and she sucks at it.
“Hey, baby. What are you doing here?” Ro asks, tilting his head.
“Um, I think something’s wrong. Nigel called me and asked me to make sure Beth got home okay. So, I waited in her driveway for an hour and…she never showed. I even went inside to see if I missed her and the house was empty. I tried calling her, but it went straight to voicemail. I even called Shanti and she hasn’t heard from her either…She’s missing. There’s nowhere else she would go. I’m scared something might have happened to her.”
And, like that, I jump into action. People don’t just disappear. Someone always makes them disappear. And, if I find out someone hurt her, blood will stain the streets of Grove Hill and heads will fucking roll.
* * *
We search the entire town for her and put the word out, but there has been no sign of her. It’s been hours and I’m getting increasingly more antsy as time goes by.
We split off into groups: Oisin and Charlie. Ronan and Gunderson. Me and Nigel.
It’s the most awkward time of my life.
There’s only one place I can think to go and, really, I don’t think she would be there.
“Seriously, where the fuck is she?” Nigel growls as he puts his phone to his ear for the thousandth time, probably trying to call her again.
“If her phone is off, she’s not going to get any of those calls,” I finally speak for the first time since we got into the car.
He shuts down the call and tosses his phone onto the dashboard in anger. “What the hell were you thinking?” he roars with rage, but I don’t say anything. I don’t know what he is on about, but whatever it is is firmly planted under his skin. “I fucking heard the two of you last night. I called her, the phone picked up, and I fucking heard you.”
Well, that’s unfortunate, but still doesn’t really explain his anger towards me.
“And?” I mutter. “You didn’t seem to care when I fucked her before.” And, he has no moral high ground to stand on since we’re all pretty sure he was off dipping his dick into some other bitch’s honey pot.
“I’m not mad that you fucked her,” he denies, his nostrils flared with anger. “I heard what she fucking said. She said she was yours. What the fuck, man!”
Oh.
Well, that explains a lot. No wonders he’s pissed.
“Do you have nothing to say for yourself? I was gone for less than two weeks and you tried to move in on my woman! You’re supposed to be my best friend, Ollie!”
In my defense, that was a title that was thrust upon me. I didn’t choose to be friends with Nigel. He just latched himself onto me, much like how he did with Beth.
“That’s not important right now. In case you forgot, she’s fucking missing. If you want to lecture me, you can do it later.”
I don’t need to be reminded of how my obsession with my princess was a betrayal to him. I’ve had the voices in my head whispering it to me for weeks. I knew it was wrong, but my need for her was too strong to deny it.
Fuck, princess. Where are you? I’m sorry…just please, come back to me.
I hope wherever the fuck she is, she heard that plead.
I pull up to the gate outside the Gray estate and Nigel’s eyes snap to look at the gate, confusion on his face.
“Where the fuck are we?” he asks, his attention removed from the argument.
“The Gray’s,” I admit and I watch his eyes narrow, territorial rage overtaking his face.
We climb out of the car and I walk over to the box with Bernadette, the creepy night watch chick who always flirts with me whenever I have to come to this god-awful place.
“Heyyy, handsome,” she mutters.
“Send Martin out, now,” I demand. I know Nigel is on the do-not-pass list carefully cultivated by my so-called “uncle”. It pretty much consists of all the other Bastards and anyone we have been affiliated with. I don’t think Beth is on that list though.
“Right on it.” She winks at me before she picks up the phone and I turn to Nigel.
“She won’t be here,” he insists.
“Probably not.”
“Then, why are we here?”
“Because…he might know where she is or a way to find her location that we aren’t able to.” My cousin has connections that we don’t. I would go to Nolan, but I’d rather he remain unaware of my princess. I try to stay out of his business and he stays clear of mine. He’s also the reason that although I've been arrested plenty of times, I was never charged with any crimes.
He nods and takes a step back, roughly running his fingers through his hair as he paces back and forth. I know he’s not only pissed at me, but he’s also pissed because he knows Beth and Martin hooked up in the past. I don’t know what Beth told him about what happened when they were alone, but Nigel got the confirmation from my lips that it occurred.
“Well, well, well…” I turn as Martin pushes open the walk-through gate and steps out before crossing his arms. I didn’t even hear his car drive up. “What a pleasant surprise, cousin. I was not expecting visitors anytime soon.”
I walk over to him. “Beth is missing. No one knows where she is. She might be in danger. Do you know where she is?” I doubt he will, but I have to ask anyway.
He tilts his head as he uncrosses his arms, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. “As a matter of fact, I do.”
“You do?” Nigel presses and he must be as surprised by this as I am. I didn’t actually think they would’ve crossed paths.
Martin chuckles. “Yes, I do.”
“Well, where is she?” I press, but his eyes narrow.
“See, there’s this tiny problem. She kind of asked me to keep her location a secret and unlike some people, I actually keep my word, so…” I don’t know if that was supposed to be a dig at me or not.
Martin shrugs as if this is all inconsequential to him.
In a flash of anger, I grab him by his shirt and slam his back into the gate before growling in his face. “Where. The fuck. Is. She .”
I need to know where she is. I don’t care if he keeps it hidden from Nigel–by all fucking means–but I need to know she’s safe.
I’ll do whatever the fuck she wants me to do. I’ll make sure Nigel keeps his distance. I’ll do anything for her to hear me out about what happened. None of it was fucking intentional and, if I could do it all over again, I would just so I could prevent myself from hurting her.
I’d do anything for her.
Martin smiles. “You don’t scare me, cuz. You can kill me if you want, but then there would be no way for you to find out where she is. Don’t worry. She’s safe and she is there of her own free will. That’s all that should matter to you, right?”
He’s not an idiot. He knows that this is more than my duty to my brothers or to Nigel. I’m desperate for her.
“However, she did give me something to give to you before she got settled in,” he adds before I release my hold on him.
He’s right though. If I kill him, I’ll have no hope of ever finding her.
I will find her though.
I take a step back as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of neon pink lacy fabric. “She said to give these to you, but I’m not sure which one of you she wanted me to hand them to. She wasn’t specific, but if I had to guess, it was both of you.”
He unrolls it and holds it up by a fingers and then I realize it’s her fucking underwear.
She gave him her underwear.
What?
Why?
“You motherfucker!” Nigel growls and I quickly grab his arms, restraining him. It’s one thing for him to fight Martin in the ring. It’s another for him to attack Martin in public with Bernadette as a witness.
“Stop it!” I snap at him.
“I swear, if you touched her, I’ll fucking kill you!”
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Nigel is a fucking idiot. I swear, he’s asking to go to prison at this point. He doesn’t have the fall back that I do. He doesn’t have an influential family member who could bail him out of every crime he ever does. He needs to be careful.
However, he does deserve to go to prison for what he did to Beth. I’d do way worse than any prison inmate would if Beth had confirmed my suspicions.
“A little too late for that, O’Reilly. Based on what she said, you’re already aware of our little tryst before she moved to town. It’s such a shame that the girl that you picked also happened to be one of the ones who spent a good portion of time riding my dick. It was quite impressive actually. She was mine before she was ever yours and that’s something you can’t erase, can you?”
He’s baiting Nigel. He knows it and I know it, but I doubt Nigel realizes it.
That is one skill that Martin has completely mastered. He can make Nigel go from zero to a hundred in two seconds flat.
“Let me go!” Nigel groans as he tries and fails to rip his arms from my hold.
“Not happening.”
“Go ahead. Let him go. It seems he has something he wants to say.”
Martin gives me a look as if to say “do it” and I do. It’s his funeral if Nigel rips his head off and pisses down his throat.
Nigel charges for Martin, who stands there unmoved, until Nigel is within arm’s reach. Martin reels back his fist and cracks it right in the middle of Nigel’s face.
I almost cringe from the sound of cracking bones.
Nigel falls on his ass, cradling his face from the shock, as Martin calmly shakes out his hand, stretching his fingers. I don’t think anyone has ever gotten the jump on Nigel before.
“You know, I made a promise to Beth not to tell anyone what you did to her after she confessed it to me, but I also told her that I couldn’t promise not to kick your ass either. And, that …that was for her. She’s not your fucking property and she’s not a commodity.”
Then, Martin takes a step forward and kicks Nigel in the stomach hard before looking at me. “Take the trash out when you leave, would you, cousin?” He turns and walks back through the gate, the metal clicking back in place.
I smirk. Well, someone had to do it and I’m glad it wasn’t me.
Wait. No, I did something similar when I found her the way I did.
I shrug before I pull Nigel to his feet and force him back in the car.
Fucking idiot.