30. Chapter 30 #2
She comes closer to me under the blanket. With no words, she asks to lean on my chest. I welcome her, wrapping her shoulders with an arm. Our fingers still interlock over my thigh, in the warmth of our cocoon. I sigh.
She nestles against me. "You're extremely sweet with them."
"They're my favorite people."
"So they're the ones making the hypersquare board?"
I nod. "They're very proud of it."
"Not many people know, do they?"
"I've only told you."
She burrows into me. "I'll keep your secret safe. "
The sun approaches the skyline, full of shadowed trees, hills, homes, and faraway stretches of land and water. Everything is tinged in honey and ochre, including the clouds rolling in.
"Only thing is," she says, "if the twins are going to watch the final game, it will be hard to hide the fact. You know Dom bet this is the year he learns who makes the board, right?"
"Yep. It's okay. You heard them— they're growing up. Or so they think. They're just babies in my eyes."
She chuckles. "They're not. Aren't they technically pre-teens?"
"Don't break my heart like that, Ames."
"Just think of the memories they'll make. And wouldn't you love having them there, too?"
"Yeah. I'd love having them there. And my parents. And if you wanted to…"
I don't finish the sentence. She's been at games before, she watches my games when she's not able to come, but attending the most important game of my career as my guest might be too big an ask.
She sighs. "I'm waiting to hear from the show’s producer. They want to film the pilot soon, and I'll have to fly to their studio for it. But if I'm still here, maybe I could…"
I squeeze her close. "I'd love that."
"No matter what happens," she adds, "I want to be there. Especially now that I know about the Pythons and the Brawlers. To think you might end up on the other side of the country… but if I don't get to go because of the pilot…"
If nothing else, distance has the power to end things between Ames and I. But it also means I have three more weeks of this bliss. At least.
"Let's not think much about that yet," I say. "One game at a time. We need to win the conference first this weekend."
The one we lost last year.
"It's not fair," Ames says. "I want to be at the final game, but might not get to go because of the TV show. I could definitely go to the conference game, but we're not going because of Coach Clark's new rule about not allowing guests on the field until the championship game."
I caress her hair and stare into the horizon. The conference game is the last step before a chance at a ring. If we win that trophy, we'll make Strike history.
Coach wants the chance at both as much as we do.
It's made him strict. More than usual. Keeping us tight.
He's watching us like a hawk, and reminding us of the importance of discipline and concentration every chance he gets.
All of the coaching staff is on board, and we're hearing the message.
Still, just in case we don't, they're taking extreme measures.
Winning next weekend's game makes us champions of our conference. It means a big party afterwards. We celebrate the trophy we just got, and the chance at a ring. For years I've watched the winning team welcome their guests into the field, to watch them receive the prize and rejoice together.
If we win the conference, Coach is letting us have a small party, but no guests on the field until the big game.
So we're disciplined about curfew and training.
So we keep our concentration. If partners and family and friends want to attend they can, we just won't see them.
The guys and I never ask our people to fly for away games since we can't spend time with them, and we've decided it's up to the girls if they want to go.
They decided to stay home this time, too.
It's not ideal, but we agreed. We'll compensate for it afterwards. I'd be thrilled anyway, if Ames could make it to the field on the most important event of my career.
"I get it." I sigh. "I want you at the game— all of them, if it was up to me. But I know you have to put your everything into that pilot. That show is your breakthrough."
"Yeah. It's all so up in the air, but I have to stick it out.
I'm still betting my business on it. If I get the show, I get to cook for fun again and get the cash flow and interest I need to save my kitchen.
If I don't… if I don't, it may be too late to save it.
I may need to get loans I don't want to get, and fire people in the process. "
"We'll figure it out." I kiss her temple. "We'll see what the producer says. "
"And we'll see what happens after the final game. If you have to go…"
I take a deep breath. "Let's wait. There's not much to be done tonight."
"Saint… I would miss you so much. If you have to go…"
She says my name like I matter. Like she still wants me close.
My chest caves in, the weight of my feelings is so high.
"You won't have to miss me," I whisper. "As long as you want me around, I'll be here. Somehow."
Even if I end up at the other end of the country. No matter if that involves this situationship or not. I want her in my life.
"Then let's stick together for a bit longer, yeah?" I add in the same tone.
"Yeah. A bit longer sounds great."
We watch the sun set, many questions hanging in the air, but holding on to each other. For a little longer.
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to teach her to end things, when I don't think I can.