Chapter 11
Eleven
Keoni
After breakfast, we curled up on Zephyr's bed, which took some doing.
"You know, before last night, I hadn't really thought about how awkward lying down is for you as a centaur," Zephyr said as he shifted a little closer to me.
Unlike last night, I was on my side this time, with Zephyr pressed against my chest, his legs pressed against my front legs. He'd suggested he be the big spoon, but I'd declined instantly. I wanted him in my arms, not the other way
"You have no idea. Horses don't really lie on their backs, you know? They curl up on their legs, or lie on their sides like this. But I can't look at the sky properly like that, so I have to get on my back. I mean, I can see the stars standing up too, but it's not the same."
Zephyr hummed thoughtfully, and I smiled, wrapping my hand around his and linking our fingers together.
He sucked in a breath, his fingers twitching between mine. "Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Hold this hand," he said, moving his hand. I tightened my hold so he wouldn't pull out of my grip, and he stopped moving.
"Because it's your hand," I murmured, though I knew that wasn't what he meant.
It was his left hand, his metal hand, and I knew he had a love-hate relationship with it.
While there were days I got annoyed with my cart, I'd never hated it.
But I'd also not lost the use of my legs in a violent moment that haunted my life, so I couldn't really compare our situations.
Zephyr didn't reply, and I pressed my lips to his cheek, his stubble scrapping against my skin.
"I know you have mixed feelings about your prosthetic, but I don't. To me, it's as much a part of you as your right arm, and I don't really care which one I hold as long as I can hold your hand.
But if you'd prefer I hold your right hand instead, I can do that. "
He was silent for a moment, then let out a soft sigh. "No, it's okay. Sorry for making a big deal of it."
"Anything you feel is a big deal to me, Zeph. Don't apologize," I murmured, and he sucked in a breath as his face flushed.
Damn. How could someone like him blush so easily? It was adorable.
"Do you wanna watch a movie?"
Zephyr nodded, and I grabbed my laptop, glad I'd put it within reach, and found a streaming service to peruse. Once we found a movie that sounded good to both of us, I hit play and placed the laptop in front of Zephyr. It was weird watching it on our side, but he didn't seem to mind.
I tightened my arm around Zeph and pulled him closer, soaking in the warmth of his skin as he covered my arm around his waist with his.
Half hour into the movie, I realized Zephyr had fallen asleep, and I smiled as I carefully reached forward and lowered the volume.
I wasn't sleepy at all, so I just held him and watched the movie, sneaking glances at his face every now and then. He looked so much younger when he slept, at peace with the world in a way he never was when awake.
Like the cloak that he'd taken off after breakfast, Zephyr was always covered in an invisible layer that kept him separated from the world around him, from the people who loved him.
I didn't know if it was because of the loss of his familiar, or just a culmination of all the trauma he'd faced in his early years, but I really, really wanted to do whatever I could to take care of him in any way I could.
The movie had long since ended, and it was almost time for lunch when Zephyr stirred, and I knew the moment his brain came back online because he froze in my arms. I couldn't even feel his chest moving with his breaths.
I pressed soft kisses to his jaw, murmuring the words directly into his skin. "Hey, it's okay. We're okay."
"I fell asleep. On our date," he gasped out, almost panicked, and I squeezed him tight.
"Cozy and calm, remember? I don't mind, Zeph. In fact, I'm kind of glad you fell asleep."
"Why?" he demanded, and I chuckled at the incredulity in his voice.
"Because it made me feel like you trust me. I know how guarded you are, Zeph. The fact that you felt safe enough to fall asleep in my arms? It means the world to me."
Zephyr didn't say anything, but his body relaxed as a breath whooshed out of him, and I tucked my face into the crook of his neck, pressing soft kisses against his skin.
He turned around in my arms, his blue eyes soft and sleepy as he closed the distance between us and kissed me. I smiled into the kiss as I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him closer.
Zephyr hummed, his lips parting as he invited me in, and I slid my tongue against it, moaning at the sweet taste of him. Damn, seventeen-year-old me never could've come up with this day in his wildest daydreams.
Zephyr pressed closer, and I sucked in a breath when I felt the result of his attraction press against my abdomen, and I pulled back with a gasp.
Fuck, I'd gotten so caught up in everything Zephyr was that I'd forgotten something important. Something I should've told him much earlier.
The fact that we were mates made me hopeful Zephyr wouldn't change his mind about us over this, but my fingers still twitched with nerves as they rested against his waist.
"Wait," I murmured when he reached to kiss me again, hating that I'd stopped him, and he pulled back. A worried look furrowed his brows, and I pressed my thumb over his forehead, smoothing out the lines. "There's something I have to tell you."
Zephyr
Keoni looked nervous, and also a little embarrassed, and it threw me for a loop. What could he want to tell me that would make him look like that?
"What is it?"
He bit his lower lip, then glanced away, his eyes focusing on a spot behind me, as if he couldn't bring himself to look at me. Fuck, had I done something wrong? Pushed too hard, too fast?
Before I could ask, he exhaled loudly, then said, "You know how I was born paralyzed?"
My confusion grew at the sudden segue, and I hummed.
"Well, I can't feel anything beyond this point," he said as he reached behind him and patted the spot halfway down his 'horse' back as I leaned up to see what he was doing.
When he glanced back, he avoided my eyes once more.
"I can't feel anything. Or control anything.
Or experience anything. Do you get what I'm trying to say? "
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize what he was implying, but he waited me out, though the grip he still had on my waist tightened noticeably, as if he was afraid I'd run away.
"Are you saying you can't get an erection?" I asked, and my blunt words made him flinch. "I'm sorry. I should've phrased it better."
"It's okay. I was being a child about it.
But yes, that's what I mean. I can't get hard," he said with a shrug.
"I know humans have medicines for that stuff, but I don't know if they'd work on me, and honestly, I don't really want to try.
I've never been all that interested in sex.
I don't know if it's because I can't have it or just how I'm wired, but I'm okay without it if you are," he said, then smirked.
"And I don't think I would need a dick to satisfy you. "
I blinked, and my cheeks flushed hot as my cock twitched at his words. It took me a few moments to gather myself, and I wondered how he'd turn the tables on me so quickly. "Thank you for telling me. It doesn't change how I feel about you."
Keoni smiled, looking relieved, and then he pulled me into a kiss that left me feeling breathless and like I was floating.
I snuggled closer to him as I caught my breath, and he tightened his arm around me as he pulled me into his chest, his blue eyes warm and sparkling as they gazed into mine.
I reached up, sifting my fingers through his curly blond hair.
I couldn't feel the strands against my fingers, but his eyes fluttered shut as he clearly enjoyed my touch. That was okay too.
He talked in low whispers, like someone would overhear us, which was impossible. Not only were we alone, but my room had a silencing ward that activated whenever I was inside. Yet there was something sweet and cozy about whispering words right into each others' lips.
The growl of Keoni's stomach finally broke the moment, and I chuckled as I pulled back. "We should go get some lunch."
I couldn't believe I'd spent all morning in bed and not worried about work once. I had a feeling Keoni had talked to Touya about it to make sure I'd be free, and I wondered why he insisted on taking care of me this way.
I was older than him, and more powerful too. Shouldn't I be the one taking care of him?
Though I couldn't say I disliked it. It was a novel feeling, being taken care of, and as long as Keoni didn't mind doing it, I would never ask him to stop.
Keoni hummed but didn't move, and I raised a brow at him.
"Wait," he murmured, and my brows furrowed as I gazed at him. Wait for what?
As if in answer, there was a knock at the door.
"Room service!" Touya called cheerfully as Keoni grinned at me, and I shook my head as I slid off the bed.
Once I'd made sure I looked decent, I opened the door. Touya handed me a tray laden with food, waved at Keoni over my shoulder, then walked away without a word, leaving me with a mix of emotions and some delicious-smelling food.
I carried the food back to the bed as Keoni sat up, his front legs folded under him as he straightened. "Can we eat on the bed? I don't want to deal with the cart again."
"Of course."
I set everything up on the bed, and then settled cross-legged across from him. Seated like this, he was taller than me, and it felt strange but also kind of right.
We chatted as we ate, discussing the things people usually talked about on first dates.
Our favorite colors, music, movies, hobbies.
Some things I'd already known; others I was surprised to discover, like the fact that Keoni knew five languages and was learning a sixth one.
I'd lived for over two centuries and I only knew two.
I made sure to tell him how impressive that was, and got the chance to make him blush, though he recovered quickly.
After lunch, Keoni told me to put the dishes outside with the breakfast ones so Touya could take them away, refusing to let me take them to the kitchen myself.
"If you go out now, I won't get you back until they've all congratulated you, and right now, you're mine," Keoni grumbled, and I chuckled, then did as he asked.
It'd been a long time since I'd felt this light, but every day since the Sanctuary was fixed, the weight I'd been carrying lessened a little more, especially when I was around Keoni.
I climbed back on the bed, then shuffled closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. With me kneeling on the mattress, I was a little taller again, and I hugged him close as he made a surprised sound before hugging me back.
"Thank you. This has been the perfect date," I murmured as I held him, and he kissed my cheek.
"It's not over yet," he reminded me, a smile in his voice.
"Good." I stayed in his arms for a few minutes, just feeling him against me, before I pulled back enough to press my lips to his.
The kiss was soft and spicy, and I cherished every second of it, hoping there would be many more kisses just like this in our future.