Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
T he attendees ate barbeque, swam, and danced to a live band.
Bree enjoyed herself immensely. The first dance was just for Bree and Adam, but she held Lilly while they swayed to Color My World by Chicago. It was one of Bree’s favorite songs.
The baby babbled and patted Bree on the cheeks. She grabbed a fistful of Bree’s hair.
Adam had to get her to release the locks.
All the women in attendance wanted to hold Lilly, and she was passed around for a while before deciding she’d had enough. She let out a wail.
Bree’s new mother-in-law, Madelyn Kincaid, came to her rescue. She took Lilly inside, changed her diaper and was trying to prepare a bottle one-handed.
Bree walked inside. “Here, let me do that.” Bree took the bottle and placed water and formula in the bottle before covering the hole in the nipple with one finger and shaking the bottle well to mix it. Then she handed it back to Madelyn, who gave it to Lilly.
The baby was content to have the food and held the bottle herself while her grandmother sat on the sofa in the family room and held her.
“I’m glad you’re part of the family, Bree. I didn’t know that you and Adam were dating.”
Bree saw no reason to lie. “We weren’t. This was the best way to have a family for Lilly. I agreed to it because I want to be a mother, and she needed me. I think I fell in love with her the first time I held her in my arms. I knew then that I would do whatever was needed for her, and that meant marrying Adam. We’re best friends, so it made sense for him to ask me. I agreed it was the best option for all of us.”
But was it, or was it just the best option for her?
During the reception, Bree and Adam took turns checking on Lilly after putting her to bed in the playpen in his office at about seven-thirty. Neither of them wanted her as far away from them as she would have been in her crib.
At about ten, it was Bree’s turn to check on her and she found the baby awake but not upset.
“Well, hello, my little sweetheart. How are you?” Bree picked her up from the playpen, and as she expected, the baby was soaked. “How about we put you in a dry diaper and some clothes and then give you your bottle? Hmm, how does that sound?”
Lilly babbled.
Bree laughed. She put her on the changing table they bought for Adam’s office for when they had Lilly on the first floor. It kept them from having to go upstairs every time she needed changed. She grabbed a clean onesie, diaper, and baby wipes from the drawers under the table.
She was just finishing when Adam came in.
“Ah, I see our daughter has awakened.”
“And not a single fuss out of her,” replied Bree. “She really is the perfect baby. I know that we have teething and other things to come, and she’ll be out of sorts when she’s sick, but right now, she’s perfect.”
He stood next to Bree and ran an index finger down Lilly’s cheek. “Maybe that’s so we’ll fall in love with her.”
Bree shrugged, lifted Lilly into her arms. “I don’t know why it is. I fell in love with her the first minute I saw her.” She turned her gaze toward Adam. “What about you? How long did it really take?”
Adam held his arms out to the baby.
Lilly leaned toward him.
“That’s Daddy’s little sunshine.” He took her into his arms and cuddled her. “The first time she was in my arms, I was a goner. I didn’t want to admit that such a little bit of a thing could have that much of a hold over me, but she does. I will move heaven and earth to keep her safe.”
Bree thought about it for a moment. “She really is ours, isn’t she? Will her mother come back and try to take her?”
Adam frowned. “I’m having my attorney draft a document that will keep Sally from having any rights to Lilly.” He reached out with his right arm and wrapped it around Bree’s shoulders. “I’ll make sure that Lilly is safe from Sally’s whims. I don’t believe she’ll want her back, but she won’t be able to do anything if she should change her mind.”
Bree leaned into his strong body, feeling his side muscles. She let his words sink in and warm her heart. “Thank you. I didn’t want to say anything, afraid I was overstepping my bounds, but?—”
“Lilly is as much your daughter as mine now. I don’t want you to keep anything from me. We’ll make decisions together. If you’re worried about something let me know, and we’ll figure it out…together.”
“Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around his waist.
“We’re a team. Team Lilly. Don’t ever forget that.”
“I won’t.” She moved out from under his arm and looked up at him. “Shall we take our daughter outside? She can say her goodnights to her grandmothers, and they can love on her once more.”
“That sounds like a good idea. Then I think I’ll leave Ray in charge. My brother can handle anything that comes up. Then the three of us can go to bed. If we’re not careful we’ll turn her into a night owl.”
“You’re right. We can’t have that. She needs to keep to her routine. But that doesn’t mean we should abandon our guests either. When she’s tired, we’ll put her back in the playpen.”
“You’re right.” He turned toward the door. “Let’s get this done.” He walked out toward the crowd in the backyard.
Lilly was in back in her playpen before nine o’clock. She didn’t even make a fuss about going down.
Bree and Adam went back to the reception until close to midnight, when they said their goodnights and showed their guests out.
When she got back to her bedroom, Bree took down her hair and brushed it out before braiding it. If she didn’t, it would be a rat’s nest in the morning, and she hated that. After she was finished, she pulled on her nightgown. The summer garment had spaghetti straps and hit her mid-thigh.
She thought about the commitment they’d just made, not only to Lilly but to each other. Would they eventually fall in love? Could they have a real marriage? Bree was the one who’d put the limit on it. That it just remain that they were friends. She was afraid Adam would never fall in love with her, and she didn’t want a marriage just based on sex. Bree needed to be loved. Adam knew this and had never given any indication that he felt more than friendship for her. She wondered if she would be able to only have friendship for their whole marriage. Knowing she needed to be loved didn’t bode well for her. If she was to be brutally honest with herself, she’d married Adam as much for him as Lilly. She’d fallen in love with him years ago. She’d thought it was only because she missed Brad, but after much reflection, she knew it wasn’t true. Bree loved Adam for himself and for no other reason.
Just as she was about to crawl into bed, a knock sounded on the door.
“Bree? It’s Adam.”
She grabbed the robe that matched the nightgown and pulled it on before answering the door. “Is it Lilly? I didn’t hear anything. I think I need to sleep with the door open.”
“It’s not Lilly. Now that everyone is gone, I just wondered if you wanted to have a nightcap. Even though it’s past midnight, I find I’m not sleepy.”
“Um…sure. Why not? For some reason I am a little wound up.” She walked back to the bed and slid into her slippers. “Shall we?” She noticed Adam was wearing an old t-shirt and sweatpants. “I feel like I’m underdressed for this excursion.”
He chuckled. “You’re not. I had to put on clothes, so you didn’t think I was a pervert or something. I rarely wear anything to bed, but I’ve decided that with Lilly here, I need to be prepared to be up at a moment’s notice and not have to worry about getting dressed whenever she needs me.” His gaze roamed over her from head to toe. “We haven’t seen each other before bed yet, so I didn’t know what you wore to sleep.”
“I always wear a nightgown or, in winter, pajamas. I don’t like to be cold.”
“We can turn the heat up if you like.”
“No, that would make everyone else uncomfortable. I can add layers. It’s what I did at home because I didn’t like the environmental impact of using so much gas, so I’m used to it.”
“You do realize we can afford whatever the heating bill is, right?”
She snorted. “Just because we can afford it, doesn’t mean we can’t still do our bit for conservation.”
Adam shrugged. “I suppose that’s right. I simply didn’t want you to be cold.”
Bree reached out and touched his arm. “Thank you, but I’m fine and if I get to the point I’m not, you’ll be the first person I come to.”
He covered her hand where it rested on his right arm. “Good. I don’t want you uncomfortable.” He walked down to the recreation room where the bar was located.
The room was set up for watching movies, with six reclining chairs, a couple of loveseat recliners, and a full bar. The TV screen was the largest she’d ever seen. She figured Adam had it custom made. He wasn’t one to use anything but the best for his guests.
“What would you like?” Adam slid behind the bar.
Bree sat on one stool. “I would like a chocolate martini.”
Adam frowned. “That’s the one thing I can’t make you. I don’t have any Godiva liqueur. If you’re feeling like a dessert drink, how about a mudslide?”
“That is my second favorite drink, so bring it on.” She leaned her elbows on the teak bar and watched him work. “Ah, you make it with real ice cream. That’s the best kind.”
“I agree, though in places like Mexico, it’s hard to keep ice cream at the beach bar…or the pool bar.”
“Don’t I know it, but it was still a good drink. At least I didn’t have any problems getting completely drunk on them. Do you own a home in Mexico?”
Adam set the drink, which he’d put in an oversized martini glass, in front of her. “I do. I have several homes all over the world. I happen to use the one in Mexico the most. It’s right on the beach in Cancun.”
“That sounds wonderful. What are you having to drink? Something special for our wedding night?”
“I’m having my old standby of a Manhattan.”
“You are a man of habit. Though, I think you’ll have to be making new habits with Lilly here.”
He came around the bar and sat on the stool next to Bree. “And I’m more than willing to make them. Working from home for a while is just the first. I plan on making a place for her in my office, so I can take her to work when I need to…or want to.”
“I’ll be with her during the day. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“I know I don’t, but I want to be able to take her with me. I want to show off my daughter to my employees.”
Bree laughed. “That makes perfect sense, especially since most of those employees never thought you’d marry or have children. You’re thirty-six now. You’re getting long in the tooth, as my mother would say.”
He snorted. “And what about you, dear wife? Are you on the shelf, as my mother would say? You’re twenty-eight now. That used to mean you were an old maid…destined to be a spinster and live alone except for your hundreds of cats.”
She lifted a brow. “Ha ha. Very funny. Well, no one is an old maid or long in the tooth anymore. We stopped those rumors today.”
He frowned. “And started an entirely new set of rumors.”
Bree took a sip of her drink. The creamy, chocolatey mixture sliding down as easily and any ice cream shake. “This is great. Thank you.” She took another sip and smiled.
“You’re easy to please.” He chuckled before he took a cocktail napkin and wiped away the mustache, she’d given herself.
“Thanks.” She took the napkin and wiped her mouth again.
“You’re welcome.”
They talked and drank their cocktails.
Before she knew it, she’d had three of the drinks and was feeling a pleasant buzz.
“Adam.”
“Hmm?”
“I want to kiss you.”
His eyebrows practically leaped off his forehead as they went so high, so fast. Then his expression settled, and he cocked up one side of his mouth. “That’s good, because I want to kiss you, too.” He slipped an arm around her waist and leaned over, pulling her close at the same time.
“You do?” She went willingly.
“I definitely do. Very much,” he whispered when he was a hair’s breadth away.
The moment his lips touched hers, Bree was lost. She let herself go, enjoying the way warmth spread through her body and the feel of his soft, yet firm lips.
After a few moments, he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. “That was nice. I want you, Bree. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone.”
“I want you, too. But we can’t. You know that and I know that. We’re best friends and I don’t want to risk that.”
Adam slowly shook his head. “We are best friends, we’re also husband and wife. We can do this. Let me make love to you?”
Should she? Was she wrong to expect their marriage to be forever and never make love, never have more children. Was she wrong to just want their friendship? Could she ask that of Adam? But she needed to be loved…utterly and completely, like she and Brad had loved each other. What would Brad say about what she’d done? She was so tempted…and very scared. She knew having sex would complicate things and if something happened, it might break them apart irrevocably.
“I can’t, Adam. You know that. In your heart of hearts, you know that.”
Adam sighed. “I do know that, and I don’t want to risk our friendship either. I know that you still mourn Brad. In some ways I do, too. Although right now I wish he would just go away and not come between us.”
“Adam—” Her heart was breaking. She was fouling Adam’s memory of Brad and that is not what she wanted
He raised a hand and shook his head. “No, I’m being honest. I won’t apologize for wanting you, wanting the marriage to be real, but I know that is impossible at this point in time.”
She bobbed her head. “It is.” For now. Perhaps sometime in the future, but I’m not ready. I know that. I need love, and not just the physical, but the emotional, too.