26. Jess
Three days later
“So, are you gonna sell?” Pauline asks in a quiet voice as she takes her break in my office.
Sean has been out of the office lately, sealing deals left and right, so I haven’t crossed paths with him much in the past few days. But we’re scheduled for an after-work rendezvous today.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about his offer.” I lean back in my seat, using my straw to twirl the melting cubes in my iced coffee. I’m so used to Sean bringing in coffee that the one I purchased just doesn’t hit the spot. “The pros outweigh the cons. Westerlyn can do great things, especially with Blackwood backing us.”
“You know where I stand, but it’s your decision, Jess. You know I’ll support you no matter what.”
“Honestly, I feel like selling to Blackwood is the way to go,” I tell her. It feels wonderful to say it out loud, to finally have that decision and to no longer be wrestling with it. It’s the right move, and one I feel I’m finally ready to make. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I have to take it.”
“I’m glad for you, Jess,” Pauline says, rising to envelop me in a warm embrace, pressing her chest against me. “I can see how good you two are together. You guys make a great team, and once the probation thing is over and you’re officially working for Blackwood, your potential will be boundless.”
Pauline holds up her nearly finished coffee in a toast. “Here’s to making big life decisions and seeing where they take us.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
We drink and finish our break before Pauline leaves to get back to work. I return to my duties as well, excited but nervous about my decision.
I can’t wait to tell Sean.
I grab my phone.
Me:
Drinks at 7? You in?
Sean:
Not tonight.
Not in the mood to go out.
Gotcha. How about I grab dinner on the way? Any cravings?
You, in bed, covered in whipped cream. Fresh berries. Caramel sauce on top.
Naughty! I was thinking pizza, but your idea sounds definitely sweeter.
After work, I swing by my beloved NYC pizza place to grab a pie (his playful suggestion was just a teasing appetizer). When I get home, he’s not in yet, so I change into comfortable clothes, opting for a cozy pair of snuggly pants and a soft, oversized sweater.
While I wait for him, I spend time with Pippin.
He ruffles his feathers and nips at my finger a little harder than he normally does.
“I know, I know, buddy, I’m not Sean but your best new pal will be over soon,” I tell him when I take him out of his cage, stroking his cute feathery head. Pippin has been thrilled at Sean’s attention over the past weeks, and he’s taken to chirping every time he comes to visit. Seems like he’s the biggest fan of Sean. Well, not right off the bat, though. At first, Sean barely paid attention and Pippin outright turned his back on him. The first time he did it, I found it hilarious and couldn’t stop laughing. Now, they’re besties.
“Hey, can I tell you a secret?” I ask him. “I kinda like Sean, and I know he likes me too. Thinking about talking to him about putting a label on this thing and making it official—what do you think?”
Pippin chirps, completely disinterested in what I have to say as he hops around the back of the couch as he loves to do.
“I know it’s complicated…but the way things are going, I’m really happy, and I want to keep seeing him. Hopefully once I sell, that whole pressure from the board will be off his plate, and we can focus on making those changes we talked about. But mostly, I want to see where this goes. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship, and I’m so ready to give it another try.”
I know he can’t respond, but talking to Pippin always makes me feel better. I know on some level he understands me, and when I reach out for him, he hops onto my finger and bumps his head against my chin when I go to kiss his beak.
In the hall I can hear the faint ding of the elevator, signaling Sean’s arrival.
My heart flutters in excitement.
I’m putting Pippin back in his cage when my front door opens. There’s a heavy sigh from behind me, and before I can turn around, strong arms are circling my waist, and a hot mouth is on the back of my neck.
“Hello to you, too,” I say, leaning into Sean’s touch. “Rough few days?”
He makes a grunt of acknowledgment but that’s it. His hands reach down to tug at my pants and, while I’m into it—and my clit is already doing somersaults of excitement—I’d like to know what put a damper on his mood at work.
Turning, I slide my arms around his shoulders, giving them a gentle rub.
“Wanna talk about it?” I ask.
Sean’s head falls back so he can stare at the ceiling. “There’s really nothing to talk about—well, not right now at least. I don’t want to ruin our evening. It’s the same bullshit I’ve been dealing with for a while.” He looks back down at me and brushes my hair away from my face. “Nothing you need to worry about, baby. I’ve got it under control.”
“I’m not saying you don’t. I just know sometimes it’s good to vent about these things.”
“I already told you what I need.”
He leans in for a kiss, and I happily accept. If he doesn’t want to talk, I’m not going to force it. Besides, after not seeing him for a while, I’m also eager for some molten moments of bliss.
Right then my stomach decides to growl, and I pull away, giggling.
“Probably should eat something first,” I say.
Sean nods. “Works for me.”
At a loud squawk, he turns to Pippin, rumbling, “Hey there, little fluffball. I know. I missed you too.” Pippin responds with an excited flutter of his yellow feathers, and chirps a melody that sounds like a parakeet’s version of laughter. Clearly, he’s delighted by Sean’s attention and is reciprocating the affection. Little traitor.
While I set up the table and pour our drinks, they play. But as soon as I put some fresh-cut apples into his food tray, Pippin leaps from the excitement of playing with Sean to the sheer thrill of having a full belly.
In the meantime, we settle on the couch and dig into the pizza. Nothing beats a great slice after a hard day of work. It’s even better when you get to share that time with someone you care about. After taking a few bites, Sean leans back, impatiently pulling on his tie before he undoes a few buttons. Sure, he always carries a broody aura, but it’s rare for me to see him this distracted.
Whatever happened at work must have really gotten to him.
“So judging by how well things are going,” he begins, “and how quickly the staff has been able to pick up the new policies, I think it’s safe to say that this transition period is nearing its end,” he says, pausing to finish his slice. “I’ll be easing up my time at the hotel more and more and transitioning back to working at headquarters. It means that the decision is going to need to be made on whether or not you’re selling.”
It’s the first time we’ve broached the subject in a while.
“About that…” I begin.
He interrupts me, gently squeezing my knee. “It’s okay, you have a couple more days, I know. I’m not expecting any kind of answer right now. In fact, I don’t even want to talk about work.”
“You sure? You brought it up.”
“I know. I changed my mind. I just want to finish eating, crawl into bed, and do really naughty things to you.”
“You must have really missed me if that’s all you’ve been thinking about doing tonight.”
“Blame it on my neighbor for being the tastiest snack around, always game for whatever.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
Sean picks up the soda to top off my glass. “How far would you go?”
“What fun is it if I tell you? Wouldn’t it be better to show you?”
He doesn’t even give me a chance to put my glass down before he shifts me farther down the couch, out of Pippin’s line of sight, and kisses me, his hand cupping my cheek as he draws me closer. Heavens, he’s in rare form today. Not that he isn’t always enthusiastic and down for sex, but he’s rarely so insatiable that he can’t even wait for us to finish our meal. I manage to put the glass down without spilling it, and a second later, I find myself being pulled onto his lap.
I match his enthusiasm, my hands sliding into his partially open shirt in search of that muscled chest of his. There’s tension in his body that I’m not used to feeling, but it melts away when I slide my tongue past his lips. He buries his hand in my hair, clutching me tight. It’s like his mouth is hungry for mine, barely letting me breathe between kisses.
Time slips by while we lazily make out.
He’s clearly not in any rush to jump right to the good stuff and neither am I.
Honestly, I could sit here for hours doing nothing but this. If kissing Sean is all tonight is going to entail, I’m here for it. But I know he has plans, especially when he finally gets his hands inside my pants—or me out of them, rather. His palms skim along my thighs before he gives them an appreciative squeeze. Drawing back, I smirk down at him before placing a few pecks along his jaw.
“What’s the plan tonight?” I ask.
Sean hums, leaning his head back against the couch as he thinks. “You know the answer.”
“I think I vaguely remember you saying something about whipped cream and other dessert toppings.”
His eyes sparkle. “That I did.”
“Sounds like a plan to me.” I pause for a moment, doing a mental checklist on what I have in the kitchen. “Though you’ll probably have to go get some from your place because I don’t have any here.”
“You need to get groceries more often.”
“Why? Now that I have access to your fridge, there’s always food.”
Sean rolls his eyes, smiling as he squeezes my thighs one more time. “Fine. I’ll go grab a few things. Why don’t you change into something more comfortable?”
“And by that, you mean, get naked.”
“Precisely.”
Chuckling, I slide off his lap and take the time to polish off my soda as I get to my feet. Sean gets up, places a kiss on my temple, and gives my ass a quick pinch.
“Be right back,” he says and winks at me.
I smile as I watch him go, acutely aware that the heat in my chest has everything to do with the feelings I have for this man.
Humming to myself, I clean up our dinner and head into the bedroom. While we talked about me getting naked, he doesn’t know that I recently bought some sexy lingerie as a surprise. I go through my drawers, picking out a silk negligee. It hugs my body and highlights my hips while showing off my thighs, all of which I know Sean really appreciates, judging by the amount of attention he gives them.
Tomorrow when we go into work, I’ll tell him that I’m ready to sell, and we don’t need to wait for the full week until the contract officially ends. But tonight is all about distractions, and I’m more than ready to lose myself in his arms for the next few hours.
After about five minutes, I start to wonder what he’s getting. It doesn’t take that long to go to his kitchen and come back. At the ten-minute mark, I’m mildly confused. Where is he? He definitely should be back by now. Once it reaches fifteen minutes, I’m concerned.
Slipping on my white robe, I step into my slippers and go to find out where Sean is.
A quick peek in the hallway confirms no one is around so I make my way to his door. It’s opened a crack, but before I can let myself in, I hear voices coming from inside.
“We’re not talking about this right now,” Sean is saying, his voice filled with an anger I haven’t heard from him before. “I’m handling it.” He’s behind his fridge door, shuffling through the contents.
The voice I hear is coming through the speaker on his phone lying next to the fridge, and is clearly work related, so I make a move to step away so I don’t interrupt.
“You’ve done a good job so far,” an old male voice says. “But now is the time to finish her.”
“I told you, let me handle Jess.”
I freeze.
Hearing my name is like I’ve been doused with cold water. It’s like I lose the ability to walk or do anything. My hearing suddenly becomes bionic. Every word comes out sharp and clear, almost as if the man on the other line wants me to hear.
“I have been listening to you,” the old man’s voice says, “and the only handling you’re doing isn’t in the office. You’ve had your fun, son, but your time is running out. It’s time to get serious. It’s never a good idea to mix business with pleasure.”
“It’s been working pretty well so far.” Sean huffs. “You’ll get what you’re after, relax.”
“I require action, not promises. Seal the deal now. You have until midnight.”
Somehow, I finally gain control of my legs and hurry back to my apartment. My heart is racing but for an entirely different reason. A sinking feeling settles in my stomach as I wrap my arms around myself. Has this all been just a trick? Some kind of sick ploy?
I can’t believe I made the same mistake again.
I can’t believe I put my trust in another man.
Norman was right. He warned me, but did I listen? He told me to be careful, that men like Sean Blackwood didn’t make emotional decisions. He cautioned me not to let my heart sway my judgment when dealing with him. God, and I told him I knew better, that I could handle it.
Now look where it’s led me.
Once my mind takes hold of that thought, it’s like I can’t stop the avalanche of emotions that follows. I find myself questioning every touch, every kiss, every sweet, tender moment we shared.
Were they even real? Does he feel anything for me at all?
I feel like an idiot. I should have listened to my initial instincts. I should never have broken my rule. There’s a reason why I adopted it to begin with. And here I was, thinking this could be more, that there was something else between us. That he loved me.
Looks like it was just wishful thinking.
Ugh.
Dammit.
I have the sudden realization that he’s going to be coming over any second. Sex is the last damn thing on my mind. Within seconds, I hear footsteps and the doorknob turn. But before he can open it, I do it for him, just enough for him to see me but not enough to allow him to come in.
“Hey, sorry about that,” he says. “Turns out I also have to get groceries. But that’s okay, you’re sweet enough for me.”
His smirk does nothing for me. If anything, it makes me angry. He just had this intense phone call talking about me with his father, and then thinks he can just come over and have sex? Absolutely not.
“Actually, I’m going to call it a night,” I say, standing my ground, even as he tries to step forward. “I’m tired.”
Sean frowns. “I know I was gone for a bit, but it wasn’t that long.”
“It was long enough. It’s been a day, and I just want to get some sleep.”
There’s a moment of silence, and I can tell he’s trying to gauge why there’s a shift in tension. “Everything okay?” he asks.
I don’t have the energy to get into it and argue with him. All I want is to be alone and gather my thoughts. There’s a lot I need to rethink and sort out. And I can’t do that with him here.
“I told you, I’m tired,” I say, plastering on a smile. “Sorry. Long day.”
There’s another pause as Sean’s eyes search mine. He leans against the doorframe, which brings his face close to mine. “Sure I can’t change your mind?”
His eyes are mesmerizing. His lashes lower as his eyes land on my lips.
I pull away. “I’m sure. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Tomorrow morning, I’ve got an on-site meeting in Providence. I won’t be around until the early afternoon.”
I take a purposeful step back and start to close the door. “Goodnight, Sean.”
When I try to close the door, he stops it with his hand, his face full of concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he repeats.
“I’m fine. Goodnight.”
“Why, Jess? Please wait. What the hell happened? Did I do something wrong?”
“Goodnight.”
“Tell me this isn’t still about that ridiculous rule of yours, is it?”
Ouch. Jerk. The mocking sway in his voice is unmistakable—he believes we’ve breached “that ridiculous rule of mine” one too many times for me to shuffle it back out. Without giving him an answer, I close the door and lock it. Securely.
Letting out a slow breath, I rest my forehead against the wood, trying to hold back tears. I don’t hear anything on the other side for a few seconds, but then Sean retreats to his apartment and I hear the door close behind him.
Do not cry. Do not cry.
Never again will I cry over a man.