Chapter 17
TROYE
Matthew’s bed was better than mine simply because he was in it.
It smelled of him. Of clean linen and the citrus of his body wash, and in the morning, it smelled of us.
Of him and me together. He’d showered with me, practically taking over the work of bathing me, something I’d been doing on my own since I could remember.
When I was with Matthew, he found a way to check things off a list I didn’t know existed.
A list of things I’d never done with another person but fucking should have.
Like showering. I’d never showered with another person.
Never had them massage the shampoo into my scalp and shield my eyes as they rinsed it out.
Never had someone call me sweetheart, not in any tone of voice, but especially not in the buttery soft one that Matthew used. The one that made me feel important, like I mattered.
And it wasn’t that I had a wide variety of experiences to draw from, but Matthew was unlike any man I’d ever met.
He was sure in himself, in his place in life.
Every decision he made, he did with purpose.
He was driven too. The gym three mornings a week.
A full-time job as a software developer.
A part-time gig helping foster kids. And now he’d added me into his life.
Part of me worried that he wouldn’t have time for me, but he’d told me to come over and had lavished me with attention. The affection he so freely gave me was quickly becoming a drug I never wanted to get sober from.
Waking next to him was a novelty to me. It had been years since I’d had someone to share a bed with.
Early on in my streaming career, I hadn’t had time for relationships.
The grind was merciless, and it left no room for a partner.
I left no room for a partner. When I did try to find someone, anyone I brought home made me feel wrong-footed, like I was wearing someone else’s shoes.
And sometimes it was hard to find someone who was interested in a streamer.
There was a kind of reputation that streamers had online.
We were all unwashed trolls living in our parents’ basements.
Well, the joke was on them. My parents didn’t have a basement, and anything I achieved, I did in spite of them not because of them.
But now, somehow, I was in a bed that felt more like a cloud with a man who felt like a miracle. A fucking dream come true. I wondered what I did to deserve it.
Matthew was still sleeping, and I’d rolled over a few minutes ago to stare at him. Okay, not stare—because that’s creepy—but admire.
He was a beautiful man. Aged like a fine wine.
At nearly forty, he didn’t look a day over thirty-five.
There were smile lines etched into the corners of his eyes and laughter that lived on his face in the fine lines that happiness left behind.
The scruff on his face was thicker this morning than it had been last night, and my fingers twitched with the need to touch him, but I held off. He was too beautiful to disturb.
Then the corner of his mouth twitched, and I held my breath.
“Good morning, sweetheart.”
Matthew’s morning voice was gravelly and thick with sleep and possibly the sexist thing I’d ever heard. Before he even opened his eyes, he snaked his arm out, wrapped it around me, and hauled me close, yanking me tight up against him, leaving no space for me to hide how fucking hard I was.
I’d been hard all morning and not just because that’s how my dick woke up. Being near him made me insatiable. Needy. I couldn’t get enough of him. Like I said, I was addicted. He was both my drug and my dealer. The sickness and the cure.
“That’s better,” he mumbled, still closer to sleep than wakefulness.
“Good morning.” The urge to call him daddy was there. Always there. Always just under the surface of my skin. On the tip of my tongue. On the top of my mind at all times. He was never far from my thoughts.
I burrowed closer to him and marveled at how light and loose I felt. With the exception of my ass. My ass ached. Not in a bad way. But in a way that made the rest of me—with one notable exception—light and soft.
“How do you feel?” he asked, plucking the question right out of my brain. I was glad he couldn’t see my face, that I was hidden against his chest, sheltered from everything, including his scrutiny. It was far too early to feel so seen.
But I owed him honesty. It seemed like it would be poor form to come over, crash his quiet evening for a nice, rousing spanking and then lie to him the next morning.
“Good? I think. Kind of in a weird way, though. It’s hard to describe.”
Matthew kissed my hair, which made my stomach flutter and made me want to wriggle even closer. But to get any closer, I’d have to crawl inside him. “Try.”
“I feel… light, but it’s making me feel weird.
It’s like when you carry something heavy for a long time, and then you put it down.
You’re lighter, and you feel better, but the parts of you that worked hard to carry it still ache and throb and even though you feel better to have set the weight down, you can still feel it.
” A shiver tore through me, and Matthew pulled me closer.
His fingers combed through my hair, and this time when he kissed me, he tilted my head up and kissed me on the mouth.
Morning breath? Don’t know her. We were both as fresh as spring daisies.
And because I didn’t want all the attention to be on me—okay, that was probably untrue—I asked him the same thing. That’s what made him open his eyes, and when he looked at me, they were two deep wells full of emotion that I put there. That I filled them with. Somehow.
Because I wasn’t anything special. I was a gamer who lucked out and hit success and somehow maintained it.
I’d never worked what other people called a real job.
Not for lack of trying, but for lack of being hired.
And yet Matthew looked at me like I was a prize.
Like he wanted to keep looking at me. It reminded me of how I wanted to look at him.
To memorize the slopes of his cheeks and the angles of his chin, the curves of his mouth, just to commit him to memory and prove to my brain that he was real.
“I feel remarkably lucky to wake up next to you,” Matthew said, his answer infinitely better than mine. Not that I was comparing. Much. “Did you sleep well?”
“Oh, God, I did. Don’t tell my bed I said so, but this was the best sleep I’ve had in…
maybe forever, but definitely in recent history.
I need the number of your mattress store.
The make and model of this mattress, and a life-sized body pillow spritzed with your cologne.
And then maybe my bed will start to feel as comfortable as this. ”
Oh, God, Troye. Shut up. Shut up.
Matthew didn’t seem to think I was as ridiculous as I thought I sounded because his smile was unwavering in its softness.
“Let me take you to breakfast.”
“As sweet as that sounds, I wore pajamas here. I didn’t exactly think to bring clothes I could leave the house in.”
“Alright. We’ll go to your place first and then breakfast.” Matthew paused. “Or you could wear something of mine. You’re only a little smaller than me. I should have something that fits you.”
The idea of him dressing me up in his clothes did something to me that I didn’t anticipate. An unexpected want uncoiled inside me, filling all my empty spaces with this need to feel like I belonged to him. And nothing said “you’re mine” quite like wearing another man’s clothes.
“I guess that would be okay.” I tried to play it cool, but Matthew’s smile deepened like he saw right through me and chose not to call me on it.
“But first,” Matthew swooped in and captured me in another kiss. And I say captured because that’s how it felt to have him command my lips to part. Somehow Matthew had programmed an override where he was concerned and, with a single kiss, he could turn my brain off.
He rolled me onto my back and pinned me there. As if I’d have tried to move away. My face was cradled in his palm, and he deepened the kiss, devouring me. All I could do was lie there and let him lead.
His mouth was soft and warm and perfect.
His kiss demanding, but not overpowering, not off-putting.
He wasn’t actually trying to consume me, but it felt like he was succeeding anyway.
My hands finally joined the program as my body woke up.
I slid them around his waist and pulled him closer to me.
When he groaned into my mouth, it let me feel how much he wanted me, right down to my toes.
His pleasure reverberated through me and stoked my need for him.
And then Matthew pulled away. The kiss broke with the softness of the sun rising over the horizon. It happened so slowly that I didn’t realize we’d stopped until his forehead was pressed against mine, and his breaths were puffing out against my skin like he was trying to exhale his arousal.
“We can’t stay in bed all day,” he murmured, regret filling his voice.
“Well, at least you had the decency to sound gutted about it.” I stole a kiss from him and let my eyes fall shut again. Up close, eye contact would feel weird. He was too close and it made me feel too exposed.
“Breakfast.” Matthew kissed me again. Softer and faster, like he didn’t trust himself to go slow and sink into another kiss in case it got out of hand. Which I would have fucking loved.
He got out of bed first and used the bathroom while I enjoyed an extra few minutes surrounded by his scent and his residual warmth.
And when he was finished, he sent me in there to take care of my morning needs.
He’d left a new toothbrush on the counter for me, and I tore it out of its package, telling myself that it wasn’t a big deal as I dropped my toothbrush into the cup next to his.
By the time I was finished, Matthew was dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. He’d also found clothes for me to wear. The jeans were a little loose, so he loaned me a belt. It was thick and black, and it made me wonder what it would be like against my skin.
My cock didn’t know whether to get hard or not. It couldn’t decide if the belt was terrifying or arousing. And, honestly, my brain was in the same boat.
That was a question for another day.
We climbed into Matthew’s car, and we were halfway to breakfast when his phone rang. He ignored the first call, but when it rang again immediately, his lips thinned into a tight line. “I have to get this.”
“Oh, for sure. Go ahead.”
“I’m sorry, but Jett never calls unless it’s important.”
“It’s fine.”
Matthew gave my knee a squeeze and answered the call. All without taking his eyes off the road.
“Good morning, Jett.”
A frazzled voice filled the car. Realizing that, of course, Mathew was on speakerphone, I held my breath and tried not to make a single sound.
“Matthew, we need you here, man. I know you booked the day off, but there’s an issue I’d like your input on.”
“Jett, I—” Matthew cut me a questioning look, not answering Jett until I nodded. “I’ll be right there. Have a guest pass ready for me at the front desk, though. I’m bringing someone.” He ended the call and offered me an apologetic smile. “Looks like we’re taking a slight detour before breakfast.”
Holy shit. I was going to the headquarters of Gemstone Games. This was like a gamerboy’s wet dream. Okay, it was my wet dream. It might have a lot to do with the man sitting next to me. Maybe.
“Are you ready to see where Daddy works?”
Okay, definitely. It definitely had a lot to do with Matthew. He was hot enough when he was just in charge of me, and now I was going to see him act as the head of his company. I might not survive. RIP me. It was nice while it lasted.