Chapter 21
TROYE
“Guys, there is no collab. For the last time.” I’d ended my stream an hour ago, but I was still playing one of Gemstone’s older titles. And I might have let it slip to my mods, who were also my friends now, that I’d been to the head office of Gemstone Games recently.
I didn’t know how to tell them that I was sort of dating the CEO.
Or that I called him Daddy sometimes. I didn’t even know if that was the kind of information that should be shared with people.
But it was like there was a balloon inside me, and every time I breathed in, it expanded.
The only way to get rid of it was to tell someone my secret.
But I wasn’t going to blast it on the internet for all to see and comment on. And what if I told the internet, and someone knew that he was daddy as fuck, and then they’d all know that he was my daddy. Catastrophize, me? Never.
There was a very real possibility that I was spinning out. I was about to call Matthew, because he was a good listener, when there was a knock at my door.
“Let me in, Troye. Don’t make me use my key.” The familiar threat got me to my feet, and I unlocked the door and let my neighbor slash best friend, slash moderator, Charlie inside.
Charlie and I had met the day I moved in. It was some time after my channel had really taken off, and I’d needed a bigger place to live. Before this, my set-up and I had been crammed into a studio apartment. It wasn’t ideal, and I’d made it work for far longer than I’d needed to.
Charlie knew who I was the minute he saw me, and it was weird to be recognized, but any apprehension I might have felt melted away when I realized Charlie was one of the most honest, genuine people I’d ever met.
“You’ve been out a lot more recently,” Charlie announced as he walked into my apartment. “Ask me how I know.”
Shutting the door behind him, I decided to cut straight through the bullshit and just tell him.
“I’ve been seeing someone.”
Charlie spun and looked at me, glee in his eyes, triumph scrawled across his face in the form of his wide smile. “I knew it.”
He hopped up onto my counter and sat there, feet swinging back and forth. “Tell me all about him. Where did you meet? What’s he like? I want all the details.”
“Well… actually hang on.” I went to my desk, ended my game and signed off before shutting down the computer for the day.
When I came back to the kitchen, Charlie was still sitting on my counter, but now he had a cup of yogurt and was happily eating his stolen snack.
I didn’t mind. Secretly, I kept food around just for Charlie like the yogurt he was eating.
He’d let it slip that it was his favorite.
He pointed the spoon at me. “Details. Now. My curiosity demands it, and as my best friend, you’ve been holding out on me, so now to get back into my good graces, I need satisfaction.
” Charlie lifted his chin into the air, giving him a regal sort of look.
He might look more like the royalty he acted like if he wasn’t wearing mismatched socks.
“Would it satisfy you to know that I’ve been dating Matthew Kincaid, as in the CEO of Gemstone Games? As in the reason I was at the head offices last week.”
Charlie went so still he might have actually frozen, like he glitched, then he was abruptly animated again, waving his spoon in the air. “No fucking way.”
“Yes fucking way.”
His mouth hung open, and he stared at me like he didn’t know who I was. “You’re shitting me. Matthew Kincaid? He’s like… holy shit. He’s gorgeous and, like, rich rich, and… how did you even meet him?”
“Well, he’s gorgeous, that’s for sure. I don’t know about the rich part, but he’s nice.
” Nice seemed woefully inadequate. Having a door opened for me, that was nice.
Having someone ask me about my day, that was nice.
Matthew did nice things, said nice things, but he was so much more than just nice.
He was kind to people without expecting them to return it like it was some sort of transaction.
He was genuine, wanting to help for the sake of helping because it was the right thing and not because he wanted something in return.
“We met on the flight. I sort of… well… remember how I told you that I was delayed a day, that the flight didn’t have room for me?” The more I talked, the wider Charlie’s eyes got, until they were so big he almost looked like a caricature of himself.
“Shut up.”
“Well, I might have caused a little scene that got both of us kicked off the plane.”
“You didn’t!” Charlie flailed and kicked his feet. He radiated joy, as though I’d told him that he won the lottery and not that I’d gotten myself kicked off a flight.
I gave him the quick details of the confrontation. The overbooked flight, me without my luggage—which the airline had yet to locate and return—and then finding out that all the hotels around the airport were full.
“He basically invited himself to stay in my room with me.”
Charlie grinned at me and ripped the top off another yogurt. “And I’m sure you fought him so hard on it.”
“Well, I was the reason he got booted from the flight. It would’ve been cruel to make him sleep on the floor in the airport.
” I didn’t know how to begin to tell him about the spanking or the rest of it.
The way that I liked it. The way that it felt like Matthew was fixing something inside me whenever he did it.
Okay, fixing was the wrong word. But it felt like every time he spanked me that something inside me settled.
Sometimes it was like I was poorly made, assembled from spare parts.
An imperfect specimen full of faults and cracks until he touched me.
When he touched me, I was worthy. When he spanked me, I was complete.
“God, you have all the luck.”
“Not really, they still haven’t found my luggage.”
“That makes me feel a little better, actually. Because if you had it too easy I might have to hate you a little.” He polished off his yogurt and tossed the spoon in the sink. It clattered, breaking the calm with its noise.
“You’re not allowed to hate me. I forbid it.”
“You make it hard not to.” Charlie tried to look serious, like he might actually hold my happiness against me, but the softness in his eyes gave him away. He was too much like a puppy to pull off pretending to be mean. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
“Well, you know now. And it’s still pretty new, so I haven’t said much of anything about it to anyone.”
“I am your social circle, Troye. That doesn’t exactly make me feel better.”
“You’re not my entire social network.”
“I’m the entirety of your in-person social network, except for what’s-his-face. The guy who just got hitched. And I’d argue that because he’s a whole-ass flight away, he hardly counts as an in-person friend anymore.”
“Gee, that’s oddly territorial of you. Did you want to pee on my leg?”
“Don’t tempt me. I’m not afraid of a little water sports.”
“If you ever peed on me, I’d have zero in-person friends.”
“Are you going to let me meet him? I promise not to be weird and pump him for information about future games and shit. Okay, I promise to keep it to a minimum. Only a little out-of-control rabid fan behavior, and then I promise to behave.”
“I—you want to meet him?”
Charlie stared at me like I’d just sprouted a second head.
“Dude. Of course, I want to meet him. Not only is he the head of one of the coolest gaming companies around, but he’s managed to get you out of the house and into the real world.
Even on your supposed day off, you still stream most Thursdays.
Except for recently. And on your actual working days, you seem more relaxed.
Less all over the place. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still pretty scattered, but you’re not so anxious about it anymore.
” Charlie moved closer and clapped my shoulder with his hand before quickly pulling it away.
The gesture was monumental because Charlie didn’t like being touched, and he wasn’t overly exuberant when it came to physical affection.
I’d asked him about it once, and he’d shrugged and told me that if I thought about it, I could probably guess why he didn’t like being touched, and then he moved on. I never brought it up again.
I kept his favorite yogurt in my fridge instead of hugging him. I didn’t pry into his past because I didn’t have the ability to plan the perfect murder, and I was sure that Charlie wouldn’t want me to go to jail.
“You really want to meet him?”
“Dude, next to me, he’s the most important person in your life. Yes, I want to meet him. I have to make sure he’s good enough for my best friend.”
“I think he is.”
“You say as if you get a vote.” Charlie laughed and folded his arms over his chest.
“I’m pretending that you didn’t say that.”
“We both know your taste in men cannot be trusted.”
“Are you still salty that I said I didn’t ship Link with Ganondorf?”
“Uh, duh. They’re like the ultimate enemies to lovers.” Charlie had a love of all things enemies to lovers. Books. Movies. Games. Porn. He said there was nothing more romantic than winning over someone who used to hate you. Something about seeing someone at their worst and choosing them anyway.
I tried not to think of how that might apply to Matthew and me because he’d met me when I was… well, maybe not at my worst, but we’d definitely gotten off on the wrong foot.
“I think you should be happy that I don’t want to date someone who was my enemy. Somehow that seems like a less healthy choice in real life.”
“Don’t come at me with logic,” Charlie said, pouting a little.
I rolled my eyes and stuffed my hands in my pockets to keep myself from strangling him. “You can meet him.”
“Soon,” Charlie stated, a fact just because he’d decided it was.
“Soon,” I promised.