Chapter 23
TROYE
I loved the weight of Matthew’s cock on my tongue. The tang of his precum. The salt of his skin. His fingers combed through my hair, gently scratching at my scalp, sending shivers down my spine.
Everything Matthew did was magic. The way he touched me, looked at me, talked to me, commanded and praised me made me want to live at his feet.
I’d be happy there, I realized. Because he was a good man, a good person.
And somehow, though he was one of the hottest men I’d ever seen, with his broad shoulders and a five o’clock shadow that never went away, he’d been single. And now he was mine.
CEO. Entrepreneur. Kinky. Daddy. Mine.
He was mine in all the ways, but he was especially mine when I was on my knees for him with my mouth around his cock and his hands in my hair.
I took him deeper, using my hands to pull him closer as I pressed my nose against his body, his cock filling my throat.
My eyes watered, and I had to pull back so I could breathe.
“You’re so good,” Matthew told me. “Look at me, sweetheart.”
My eyes went to his automatically because I could deny him nothing when I was like this. Right now, there was no world because Matthew was my world. My entire universe. The center of everything.
He was the reason I had a pulse in my chest. Tears in my eyes.
A dick harder than granite. And then he cradled my face in the palm of his soft, warm hand.
When I was like this, on my knees for him, when I was being good for him, when I was letting him be daddy, he had a way of looking at me that made my insides dissolve.
“You’re so pretty when you cry,” he said as he wiped the tears off my cheek with a brush of his thumb.
I’d never been called pretty before, but I wanted it.
I wanted to be pretty for him. I’d been cute, or handsome, sometimes gorgeous, sometimes hot.
But never pretty. Pretty was a word that wasn’t supposed to belong to men, but Matthew made it okay for me to want things.
He made it okay for me to call him Daddy.
He made it okay for me to want to sleep curled up in his arms like he was a storm shelter.
He made it okay for me to forget the rest of the world for a while.
I closed my eyes in case he saw the truth in them. The truth was that I’d fallen head over heels in love with him, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
I’d never been in love like this before. It had never consumed me and my every waking moment. It had never made me want to do things to make someone else proud. It had never wanted me to burrow into someone else’s life and never leave.
Matthew’s house was more of a home to me than mine was now. I hated going there, even to stream. But I knew I had to do things outside of my relationship. He was the center of my universe, but he couldn’t be the only thing in it.
I brushed these thoughts, these worries away for Future Troye to deal with—you’re welcome and I’m sorry, Future Troye—and I refocused my remaining brain power on making Matthew happy.
Opening my eyes, I looked up at him and let my hands fall to my sides.
“Daddy… I want you to use me. Use my mouth.”
Hunger tore through Matthew’s expression, but he still paused long enough to check in to make sure that’s what I wanted.
“Are you sure?”
“Please, Daddy.” I didn’t have to ask again.
“Tap my thigh if you need me to stop.”
I nodded and held on to him so he knew that I heard him. So he knew that I was okay and that I wanted this.
I closed my eyes, opened my mouth, and Matthew’s fat cock slid over my tongue. The first few strokes were slow, tentative, like he was gauging depth and speed. And then he gripped my head, an iron hand on each side of my skull, and his hips got to work, thrusting his cock into my mouth.
Drool pooled in my mouth, making everything wet for him.
With my eyes closed, I could only picture his face, the taut cord of muscle in his neck, the one that always made an appearance when he was thrusting hard—like now.
Relentless. Deep. Unapologetic. Right now, I wasn’t his boy, his sweetheart.
I was just a mouth for his cock. A warm, wet hole for his pleasure.
Right now I was nothing and yet still somehow everything.
I was his sole focus. The only thing he wanted.
I was the center of his universe, and I wanted to stay that way.
It was greedy and unrealistic, and most of the time I was okay with sharing his attention with things like his job.
But in this moment I didn’t have to share him.
I had him. All of him. And he had all of me. Body, heart, and soul.
“Look at you,” Matthew said with a strained voice. Tight from holding back pleasure. Awestruck, because he got like that sometimes. Like I wasn’t the only one in the relationship who couldn’t believe how lucky he was.
I whined, and Matthew stroked his hands through my hair, then pulled it tight and fucked my face until I was nothing but breathless tears and bottomless ache. I was so hard that my cock fucking hurt. I knew that if I touched myself, it would all be over.
Matthew pulled out of my mouth, and I gasped for air, sucking in a lungful as Matthew jerked his cock in my face.
I let my tongue hang out to catch his release, and Matthew, fucking perfect Daddy, covered my eyes when he came.
He might like my cheeks and lips and tongue coated in his cum, but apparently he didn’t want it in my eyes.
Before I could catch my breath or swallow the taste of him, Matthew was bending over, pulling my head back, slanting his mouth over mine. It was like his orgasm had made him more feral, more aroused, instead of less. Instead of sated, he seemed to be the opposite.
He kissed me like he’d been away from me for an eternity. He held me like I was a treasure, like I was his treasure. The kiss was all passion, no brakes, and Matthew hauled me up off my knees and pressed himself against me, leaving no space between us.
I pulled away, gasping for air, desperate for him. “Please, please.”
Words evaded me, leaving me with a tenuous grasp on language. “Need you inside me.”
Matthew kissed me harder. Teeth clacked against teeth. An iron fist gripped my hair. My ass. Then all at once he softened his grip as if he’d just realized I’d spoken, that I needed something. And me needing him brought his brain back online.
We hadn’t made it to the bedroom, but that didn’t stop him from pawing at me, fumbling with my zipper. I didn’t call him on it. I relished being the one to make him shake with desire. The one to rock his foundation and make him fall apart. It was all me, and there was a kind of power in it.
Here was this CEO, this head of a whole company. A man who’d created success from nothing. Who made games beloved around the world. Who was the headliner at a few different conventions now, both industry and fan-based. And he was falling apart because of me.
I was undoing his composure just by existing. The realization was as thrilling as it was terrifying. I’d never had that kind of power over a person before. When I first understood that Matthew was a daddy and what that meant for him, I kind of pictured him being the one holding all the cards.
But I was slowly coming to realize that we both held the same amount of power, but instead of it being give and take, where power shifted back and forth like a ping-pong ball, it felt more like a see-saw. It lifted one up, and then the other. And sometimes we were on an even keel.
We made it as far as his living room, the space now as familiar to me as my own and when he pulled away, I knew it was to get the lube we kept stashed in the coffee table.
I stripped out of my pants and kicked them aside, and then Matthew was on me again, grabbing me and pulling me close.
His mouth found my neck, and I tilted my head, a whine escaping me when his teeth scraped gently across my skin.
My body was gooseflesh from top to bottom.
And empty. Painfully cavernous. I could barely breathe through the want rushing through me.
Matthew was all hands too. He touched me everywhere, anywhere he could reach.
Anywhere he wanted. His hands smoothed down my sides, and he pulled away at the same time as he guided my body, turning me around.
“Kneel on the couch.” His voice was smooth and dark and sexy as fuck. Right then he was ten thousand percent Daddy. He was at the top of the see-saw and I was at the bottom looking up at him, holding him above me. Happy to keep him there for as long as he wanted to stay.
Part of me wanted it to be forever.
He kissed the back of my neck, and his breath rushed over my skin. I trembled in his arms, desperate for more. The lube opened with a snick, and he squirted some out and then his fingers were at my entrance, gently teasing the rim.
“Do you still want this?” Matthew asked.
He had to know how crazy that drove me, but in the best way. I loved that he took the time to check in, to make sure I hadn’t changed my mind. I adored that about him, that he wanted to make sure we were both getting what we wanted and only what we wanted.
When I didn’t answer him right away, he asked again. His fingers never paused or stilled, they kept teasing my hole. My brain was barely functioning, and the way he talked sometimes just about ruined me.
“Do you need Daddy’s fat cock to stretch you open?”
I gripped the back of the couch until my knuckles went white. After a deep breath and conscious effort, I was able to make myself form the words.
“Please,” I whimpered when his fingers pulled away and again when I heard the sound of lube sliding on skin. “Please, Daddy.”
Matthew didn’t make me wait. He knew I fucking loved this sometimes.
The stretch of taking a cock with no prep.
Now that I was having sex regularly, it was a lot easier to do, and I loved that he enjoyed it too.
Whenever we did it like this, I could feel the way his body vibrated as he held himself back from slamming inside me in one powerful thrust.
Knowing that he was so hot for me that he shook with the effort it took to go slow would never get old. It made me harder than I thought humanly possible to have such a powerful man be so tender with me. So sweet. So strong for me.
When he was all the way inside, he paused. His lips grazed the back of my neck, and I heard his breath tremble out of him.
“Daddy,” I whined, breathless. “Ruin me.”
Matthew groaned, then pulled back, and I held on for dear life.