Chapter Twenty–Seven
Bianca’s a wreck, and she hasn’t confided a thing in me, so ’tis something I’m not supposed to know about. Or something that might upset me. Both of those narrow it to Mr. Carboni.
Mind you, I cannot be cross with her, for I’ve been keeping my own secret, haven’t I? Best friends or not, I’ve been keeping it from her and Damien and everyone else. Tonight’s the night for them both to hear it.
It’s been an age since she and I had a cigarette together outside my building. She has a story to tell me, and I’ve something to say as well. This wall between us must come down. Tonight we will face whatever’s going on.
After work, I wait outside the apartment with two unlit cigarettes.
The night is cold. I clutch my coat around me and tuck my chin into my old grey scarf.
When Bianca arrives, she’s pure surprised, but she keeps coming.
She knows we’ve things to talk about. I hold out her cigarette, put mine in my mouth, and she lights them both.
Just like old times. Before the Dominion.
Before Mr. Carboni and Mrs. Evans and Damien and all the rest of it.
We smoke in silence, and I am struck by how quiet the night is without Granny hollering at us to get rid of the cigarettes.
“I miss your granny,” Bianca says, reading my mind.
“What’s your story?” I ask, because Granny is not what we need to talk about. “You’ve been prancing around, full to the teeth of yourself, and now you’ve your tail between your legs and you’re running in circles.”
’Tis a moment before she faces me. “Gimme another cigarette.”
I do. Her hand trembles as she lights it. When she exhales, her breath shivers, and I’ve a terrible pain in my heart.
“I’ve messed up, Rosie. Don’t go on about how you warned me, neither. I don’t wanna hear it.”
“What? Don’t tell me ’tis Mr. Carboni. You shouldn’t—”
“I said don’t.” She inhales, holds the smoke for a bit.
“So here’s the story. Carboni gave me that loan for Papa.
It paid for the operation and the hospital.
Mr. Carboni, he seemed happy to do it, you know?
” Her hand falls to her side. “But he’s called in the loan, Rosie.
And I will never, in my whole life, have the money to repay him. ”
My heart bleeds for her, but I keep my mouth shut.
“So, I went to him, begging for mercy,” she admits, not meeting my eyes. “And I… well, I went to his room, and I did what I thought he’d want instead of money. I don’t know. I guess I thought if I could make him happy, he’d forget the debt. You know what I mean? He’s handsome, and he is so…”
She makes a fist and smiles dreamily, and I know she means it. She’s liked his looks from the beginning. She really did think there was a chance.
Then her expression sags. “It went on for a while, and it was going so good, Rosie. Then he asked me where his money was. I started crying, you know? Bawling, saying that I was hoping he would accept me instead of money, and he… he laughed at me.” She drops her chin.
“Then he said he had an idea of how I could lower the debt. He said that there were some businessmen coming in from Montreal next week, and he’d hire me to… entertain them.”
I stare. “ ‘Entertain’?”
She looks right at me. Her face is shiny with tears.
“I don’t know what to do, Rosie. He said Papa ain’t gonna survive the surgery if I don’t pay him back.
He didn’t even pretend not to mean it.” She gasps in a sob.
“But entertain businessmen? I had an aunt who did that, long time ago. I swore on my life I’d never do…
that. Whore around. But what choice do I have? ”
“You can’t, Bianca.” I am trying hard to appear confident, but inside, I am terrified for her.
“No. You might be stupid and naive, but you’re no whore.
We’ll have to be so careful. He’s terrible dangerous, like I told you.
” I drop my voice even lower. “Do you know, a while back, I found a gun in his nightstand.”
“A gun!” she whispers.
“I’d never seen one before. Scared the living daylights out of me.”
“Did you pick it up?”
“Never! Didn’t even touch it. But I know he has it, and I’ve a feeling he’s used it. Listen, we’ll talk with Damien about the loan. He’ll know what to do. And he’s getting paid soon. He’ll help you. How much do you owe?”
“A thousand dollars.”
My jaw drops. In Mr. Carboni’s book, it said Damien was going to get paid $100. Even if we gave it to her, that would barely put a dent in what she owed.
“I’ve never heard of medicine costing that much.” I can’t think of what else to say.
She has lost all her spark. “What about you?” she finally asks, reading me. “There’s something different.”
My cheeks flare, and I consider keeping my mouth shut. Nobody knows except me, but everyone will know soon enough. Besides, it took guts for Bianca to share her secret. I need to be just as brave.
“Been a while since my monthlies came.”
Now she’s the one in shock. “Does Damien know?”
I shake my head. I’m sure he will be happy, but what if he’s not? What if he says he wants to live a little on our own first? Maybe he’ll be ashamed of me. I suppose I am. I sinned, just like Granny would have said, and now I’m suffering the consequences. But there’s nothing I can do about that.
“Tell him tonight when he comes.”
She’s right. I’m being silly. If I don’t tell him, he’ll find out anyway and wonder why I hadn’t. “All right. Me and you, we’ll wait together.”
Minutes later, I see him coming toward us. My heart swells, seeing his dark form under the glow of the streetlights. Oh, that boy. I do love him so.
“Don’t you say a word about my monthlies,” I hiss at Bianca. I expect she’ll have a go at me, but she’s dead sober, which makes sense. Her problem feels much bigger than mine. At least for now.
She lets out a long sigh. Her dark eyes are so sad, and yet, she’s wearing a bit of a smile.
“What?”
“Look at us, Rosie. Me and you, friends all our lives, and here we are in the worst trouble at the same time.” She stubs out her cigarette with her shoe. “We do everything together, don’t we?”
The ice in my heart melts a little, and I give her a hug. “We’ll always be friends, Bianca.”
As Damien nears, he opens his arms wide for me. And for a moment, I feel safe in his embrace. Comforted—though he does not yet know why I need that.
“What’s this all about?” he asks, his cheek pressed against my hair. “Waiting for me like this, the both of you.”
“We have two things to talk about with you,” I say reluctantly. “Big things.”
He frowns. “Is it about me, then?”
“Mostly not. But partly. Some.”
“Should I be worried?” he murmurs, just for my own ears.
I kiss him on the lips. “Never about me.”
I hope I’m right. But what if he doesn’t want a baby?
“All right, then,” he says. “Let’s the three of us go in. There’s a cold wind tonight. Rain’s coming.”
We sit on the side of our bed and start with Bianca’s troubles.
Damien listens hard to us both, his frown deep with thought.
Mostly it’s Bianca trying to tell her story, then me filling in all the holes because she keeps crying.
When we’re done, Damien thinks it over. I can see when he has the answer because he is solemn.
“You’ve no say in the matter, Bianca. You must leave the city and run,” he says. “Carboni’s got a long reach and he’ll send some hard lads after you. You can’t stop running ’til you’re good and hidden.”
“Where?” she cries, sucking in sobs. “I don’t know where to go.”
My heart aches for her, and I’m ashamed of my selfish thought.
The truth is, I’m glad ’tis her and not me off.
Sure, and this place is all I’ve ever known, and ’tis the same for Bianca.
She’s plain terrified, and I can feel it along with her.
I wish I could help, but Damien’s right.
She’s got to go. Where? I’ve no idea. If ’twas me, I’d be lost.
“There’s buses,” I try weakly. “The Gray Coach line will take you out of the city. I’ll give you money for it.”
Damien says he’ll think on it, and we will, too, but the clock’s ticking and Mr. Carboni’s not one for patience.
“What’s the other problem? The one that has a whiff of myself about it.”
“Only partly about you,” I remind him nervously.
Bianca gets to her feet. “You don’t need me for this part. Thanks, Damien. I appreciate your help.”
Damien still wears his serious face after she’s gone. “Well?”
It’s like a herd of horses is galloping through my heart. “Listen, Damien. ’Tis only that…” My hands are slick with sweat. I clench them into fists. “Tell me plain. How much do you love me? Like, if I made you cross, would you up and leave me?”
“Never. You’re mine, Rosie. Through thick and thin. Now spit it out, whatever it is.”
I take a deep breath. “You’ll be a papa.”
I’ve never seen this face on him before. His mouth is a big O and his eyes are wide as saucers. The sight near makes me laugh out loud, but I don’t. Not yet. Not ’til he says what he’s thinking.
“A papa!” He throws his arms around me and squeezes until I gasp for air. “ ’Tis blessed news! This is pure grand, Rosie! Our own little family!” He catches himself long enough to ask, “Are you glad, Rosie?”
I droop with relief. I’ll tell you, knowing he’s happy makes it better all around.
But do you know what? Part of me is sad.
I’ll be a mother. Of course I am mad with delight about that.
I’d love a baby with Damien’s sweet face.
It’s only, I’ll not have a job at the Dominion for too long. Faith, I’ll miss it and Mrs. Evans.
But that’s for another day. Today, Damien is fit to burst. I wrap my arms around his neck. “I’m on top of the world about it, Damien. I am. Sure, and I’m the luckiest girl alive. But we’d best get to a priest before everyone can see for themselves what we’ve done.”
“I expect so.” He’s grinning like a cat with cream. “God help me, I can’t believe it. I’ll work myself to the bone, I will, and I’ll not complain a bit. As long as I breathe, you and the little one will want for nothing.”