10. Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten
Jordan
“Vida, don’t make me carry you.”
Though I say the words, I don’t mean them.
I’d carry him through Hell if it meant I got to have him back on this planet as his normal sunny self.
Mac just hums half of a response, his lids slammed closed over his eyes that I wish I could look into again and see more than just a bunch of sadness staring back at me.
I feel like I’m missing something.
“Vida.”
I shake him awake enough to climb out of the car so I don’t have to maneuver his lanky frame from inside it and don’t wait for another response before I wrap an arm around his waist and lift.
His long legs automatically wrap around my waist, his arms clinging to my shoulders.
It’s close.
Intimate to have his nose buried in my neck and his groin against my pelvis. His hooked ankles bopping over my ass.
The car beeps it’s locked notification as I poke blindly at the elevator call button. Once we’re secured inside, I wrap both arms around Mac’s middle and just … hold him to me.
Chest to chest, the beat of his heart syncing to mine.
The weight of him feels good in my arms.
That familiar tingling sensation creeps up my neck with each floor that passes and for once, I don’t fight the feeling.
Instead, I lean into it.
Turn my head into his neck.
Let my eyes slide closed and the heat of his trembling frame seep into me.
Maybe I can steal his anxiety through osmosis.
If I just grip him tight enough, will it leach out from his skin?
Dinging has my eyes snapping open, a flush rushing over my face at my lack of focus on our surroundings, and I walk us to his apartment door.
Realization has me pausing once inside and I clear my throat. “Do you … want— Are you okay? Should I—”
“Shut up and close the door. You’re letting the bugs in.”
I blink, letting out a weak snicker, but do exactly as he says. “Pretty sure there’s no bugs out there.”
“That’s what Ma used to tell us when we’d hang out the door to talk to our friends and shit.”
There’s a twinge inside my chest and I clear my throat again.
God, I’m all over the place.
“I’m tired,” Mac whispers into my neck, his words skating over my skin, and I suppress a shiver. “Will you … can we sleep on the couch again?”
“You have band practice tomorrow,” I say next to his temple, my lips moving against his hair. “You should sleep in the bed.”
He snorts, his breath puffing over my quickening pulse as I carry the drummer through the living room.
“You have to at least change.” I lift one hand from his back to pluck at the fishnet shirt he ended up in thanks to Aria.
I didn’t hate seeing him in it. Paired with his signature black holey jeans and worn-out white Chucks, he looked like a younger, happier version of himself.
Add in the eye liner and I felt like I was going to murder the owner of every set of hands that landed on him back at the club.
He clearly didn’t want them on him.
But then it all went to shit in a hot second and I’m still reeling from the deep dive he took for reasons I’ve yet to figure out.
Though … I find that I don’t hate this .
Him leaning on me because he needs it.
From me .
I can’t remember the last time someone needed … me .
My chest pings yet again, that tingling on the back of my neck sticking to me like glue.
When I reach the bed, I have to practically peel him away.
“You need pj’s.”
Mac drops to his feet and starts stripping.
He’s standing in his briefs, ones with little rainbow-printed eggplants on them, and stares longingly at the bed.
If he didn’t look so lost, I’d laugh at the briefs covering his tight ass.
They’re him.
And they’re cute.
Sighing, I plant a hand between his shoulder blades and give him a push. He goes easily, falling face first into the mattress with a groan.
Tingly .
Mac climbs up the bed to lay the right way and tucks his feet under the covers, then looks up at me with a glint of expectance in his eye.
He lifts the blanket in invitation.
I bite the inside of my lip.
If I say yes, does this cross the line?
“You coming?” he asks, hopefulness thick in his voice and I’m nodding before my brain can catch up.
Fuck it. Can’t be worse than what we’ve already done.
Reaching back between my shoulder blades, his eyes locked on mine, I grip my shirt and pull. It flutters to the floor as I place my radio and holster on the nightstand. Undo my belt, letting the jeans drop with a thunk around boots that I toe off.
There’s a heat in the way his sight breaks from mine, dropping to the boxers still around my waist as I step up to the bed.
But then he dives into a prone position and rolls onto his side, facing away from me in the middle of the bed.
I chuckle at the ghost of an almost grin I catch before he buries his face in the pillow and climb in behind him, keeping a few inches of space between us as the blanket settles over us.
Rolling to reach for the remote he keeps on the nightstand, Mac moves with me, his ass hitting my hip.
“Oops,” he deadpans, and I laugh.
“Such an accident.”
“It was,” he murmurs, stifling a yawn. “I was just following the heat.”
As if he called the shakes up by will alone, he trembles against me.
I hum, hit play on whatever was playing last, and turn into Mac, enveloping him with my body. His legs slot against mine, the hair ticklish. The heat of his back warms my bare chest. The weight of his head on my arm …
He fits just right.
Too right.
“Good night, Vida,” I rumble into his hair and wrap an arm around his ribs, my palm flattening between his pecs.
He sighs deep, sinking into me.
“Night.”
It doesn’t take long for the soft little snores to accompany the sound of Brooklyn Nine-Nine playing from the TV, and I let myself settle into it.
This is what he needed. Comfort and connection.
To be a human for once.
Mac mumbles something, and I’m about to lift my head so that I can see his face, but then his ass scoots back and slams right into my pelvis.
My cock jumps.
Heat radiates through my boxers, warming me.
It’s just been a while since I’ve had sex.
Been even longer since I’ve held someone.
And still … I know I should put a little space between us, though I don’t.
Because it’s making Mac comfortable and that’s all I’ve wanted.
All I’ve needed.