Chapter 10
chapter
ten
NATE
Sabrina frantically rearranges a pile of blankets on the couch in the corner of their living room, her hair sticking out of her ponytail like she just drove up the coast with the top of her car down.
Open boxes are scattered in every direction. The kitchen cabinets and drawers are all open, and half empty. And the stools that once lined the island are now shoved against one wall, waiting to be transported with the rest of the large furniture to a storage unit.
My parents’ and my apartment resemble this chaos too, as we’re all shifting our lives like moving puzzle pieces trying to see how and where we fit.
Everything’s changing for us all.
Over her shoulder, Sabrina asks Teagan, “Did you grab your backpack already?”
“It’s right here.” She turns around so her mother can see for herself that the backpack is hung on her shoulders.
Sabrina sighs and lifts her gaze to me, where I shift on my feet by the door. “I’m sorry, Nate. I’d invite you in for a coffee, but as you can see, we’re a bit of a mess.”
I wave her off. “Looks a lot like my place did yesterday.”
“This is so wild, right?” Sabrina folds her arms across her chest as she leads us outside. We stall on the porch while Teagan hops down the steps toward the U-Haul awaiting our cross-country road trip.
We’re officially leaving LA to become Georgia residents, and Teagan’s mother is off on an adventure of her own.
After a ton of planning and organizing—and reorganizing—the time has come, and I couldn’t be more ready.
“It’s a good kind of wild.” I stuff my hands into my pockets, and we watch our daughter bend down to pick at a leaf in the yard.
“I’m going to miss her so much.”
“You can visit whenever you’d like. We can come to you too. I know it won’t be the same, but we’ll make it work.”
“You know the sweetest thing about you, Nate McAllister? I know you mean that.” Respect shines in her blue eyes as they find mine, causing emotion to clog my throat.
We’ve worked hard to balance our lives since we divorced, so that neither one of us would miss too much of Teagan’s childhood.
On top of that, we didn’t want to let the end of our marriage sour our friendship.
It’s what Sabrina and I have always been—friends—and we agreed to do whatever we could to keep it that way.
For us, this has meant prioritizing flexibility with visitations, especially since my schedule has been different from week to week for the past few years.
Thanks to Sabrina, I’ve been able to see my daughter whenever I’ve wanted, and I’m glad to do the same for her. It’s what’s best for us, but most importantly, it’s what’s best for our daughter.
She deserves two happy parents.
“How’s married life treating you this time around?” I smile.
“There’s no morning sickness, so that’s a plus.” She snorts, then sighs in contentment like the weight of the mess inside the house is no longer an issue. “It’s been magical, to be honest. Does that make me sound cheesy?”
“Not at all. It’s how it should be, and I’m glad you’re happy.”
Sabrina wears a glow in her cheeks that she never had at our own wedding.
Of course, she was rather pale that day, considering the morning sickness had hit her pretty hard by that point.
But not once during our marriage did she light up this way, and I’m thankful she’s experiencing it now with Diego.
Sabrina squeezes my hand. “If only you could find someone who makes you this happy too.”
“You know me—all I need is fresh air and my camera.” I lift our joined hands and point to our daughter. “And Teagan, of course.”
“Did you say my name?” She skips back up the sidewalk toward us, her backpack rattling with all the keychains she’s hooked onto it.
“We were just talking about how much we love you, and how much Mommy is going to miss you.” Sabrina pinches her cheeks and plants a kiss to her forehead.
“I’ll miss you too, but like Daddy says, life is the adventure we make it.”
I clutch my chest and beam as I file that under one of my proudest moments with my daughter.
“And what kind of adventures are you looking forward to the most in Sapphire Creek?” her mother asks.
Teagan’s innocent eyes flash with excitement.
“More movie nights with Nan-Nan. She makes the best chocolate cake, and oh! She always has a million cookies because she knows Daddy’s friend Maren, and she takes me to her purple truck to pick out any cookie I want.
The last time, I picked ones that were cut out like apples. ”
“Maren, huh?” Sabrina lifts a brow. It’s a minute change in her expression, but the amused, all-knowing glimmer in her eyes speaks volumes.
“She gave me an extra cookie because she liked the unicorn on my shirt that day. Did we pack that shirt?”
I stifle a grin. “We sure did.”
“I’m going to wear it again the next time we go to Maren’s truck for cookies.
Maybe she’ll give me extra again.” Teagan flashes us a mischievous smile.
“Someday, I’m going to learn to bake like her too.
Then I can have all the cookies I want.” She twirls clumsily back down the sidewalk, leaving us alone again.
“A cookie adventure—not a bad way to live,” Sabrina jokes. “Is it safe to assume you and Maren have reconnected?”
I shift the hat on my head and indulge in the late-October breeze. The hat is suddenly suffocating me.
I’m not surprised she remembers Maren. In college, I had countless photos of her in my dorm, my notebooks—everywhere. And as often as I once talked about her, too, Sabrina knows Maren well, even though they’ve never met in person.
She knows teenage Maren, anyway. Grown-up Maren has a lot of mysteries about her that I have yet to unravel.
The years have hardened her in a way. In high school, she tended to be shy around a group of people until she got comfortable, but she was never on edge like she has been lately.
It’s like she’s built a fortress around her heart, with a mile-wide moat surrounding it.
“We can’t be friends again. It’s too late for that.”
Those words have haunted me for the last few weeks. It felt wrong when she said them, and it was worse to hear them. Worse than nails on a chalkboard, or a metal car part scraping along the road.
The cringe I wore that night was almost painful.
“Not exactly,” I tell Sabrina, and a weight settles into the pit of my stomach.
“You’re telling me your high school reunion didn’t end with more fireworks between you two than the Fourth of July?” She smirks.
“Let’s just say, she’s not too happy with me moving back.”
She hums. “That just means there are still feelings there. Otherwise, she wouldn’t care.”
Maren has feelings all right—and at the top is anger.
The last time I was in town, rage blushed through her cheeks like she’d painted it on. When I brought up the idea of being friends, I thought she might even break my beer mug over my head.
The morning after, I’d gone by her coffee truck with every intention of confronting her about it, but I’d gotten tongue-tied the second I laid eyes on her.
She wasn’t wearing a stitch of makeup, her hair was tossed into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, and streaks of flour were smeared across her lavender apron like the strokes of color in a Van Gogh painting.
Maren in her element was a sight to behold. She was free and graceful, like she was skipping through a field of wildflowers instead of her cramped truck. It put me in a trance, and I was launched into another dimension—one where she laughed loudly and wore her heart on her sleeve.
I wanted so badly to be part of her state of peace, so I’d reverted to old ways and joked with her like we used to.
And it was easy.
And fun.
And… tempting.
Why had I ever suggested she and I be friends again? The idea doesn’t settle over me with as much excitement as I’d like it to. A platonic friendship with Maren Clayton should be all I want, considering how much I have going on at the moment.
Considering how badly things could go for us—they did once. Then what? We’d have to suffer through awkward encounters in our adjacent driveways. Living in Sapphire Creek would quickly lose a lot of its charm.
“Teagan once told Diego that an octopus has three hearts, and ever since, he likes to refer to us as one big octopus—three hearts in one home, no matter where that home is physically.” Sabrina dips her head. “It’s silly, but Teagan gets a kick out of it.”
“No, it’s really… nice.” My mouth suddenly dries.
I want that too.
“I hope you find your own octopus, Nate. Whether it’s Maren or not, I hope you find someone who loves Teagan like their own. Who loves and appreciates you. Someone who completes your own three-hearted circulatory system.”
I pull her in for a tight hug and release a husky chuckle. “That was equally the strangest and sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I have a way with words—I might even consider writing a book while I’m sipping café con leche in the Spanish countryside.” She snorts.
“The book would write itself with that kind of inspiration.” I squeeze her shoulders in encouragement.
“But seriously, take advantage of all the time you’ll have over there.
Don’t stress about Teagan. We’ll keep you posted on everything we’re doing.
You just enjoy yourself. Discover something new. Live a little.”
“You’re right. This is my chance for a journey of my own. I’ve always wanted to do this.”
It’s true. In college, Sabrina had longed to study abroad. She’d started making plans to spend a semester in France, but then we found out about Teagan. She’s moving to Spain now, but still—her dreams are coming full circle by moving to Europe with a man she loves.
She runs a hand over her ponytail. “It’s just crazy to think I’m the one moving out of the country before you.”
I can understand that. I’ve traveled for work over the last few years, but while she and I were together, we didn’t do much of it.
We had Teagan so young, and any free time was spent earning college degrees.
Not to mention, any funds that lasted in our bank account for longer than a month went straight to Teagan’s future.
Even that wasn’t always enough, though.
If it weren’t for a little help from my parents and Sabrina’s father, we wouldn’t have survived.
After I landed my dream job and got to travel without money being an obstacle, I tried to picture myself living outside the United States. It’s what I hoped for when I was a teenager, but when opportunities presented themselves, I didn’t feel compelled to seize them.
“Living abroad never felt right,” I say.
“I think Sapphire Creek will be just fine.” Sabrina nods. “And I’m sure they’ll welcome you with open arms.”
“My smile has been known to charm a lot of unsuspecting souls.” I wiggle my brows.
“Oh, how I’m going to miss your arrogant humor…”
“Are we leaving yet?” Teagan appears in front of us. “I’m ready to ride in the big truck. I’ve never been in one that big.”
“This weekend is all about making dreams come true.” I spread my arms open.
Teagan rushes up to Sabrina for a hug, and when she finally pulls away, her giggles a contrast to her mother’s slow tears, I take her spot.
“Have a safe trip, and good luck.” I give Sabrina another hug goodbye, which opens up a can of déjà vu. This is oddly similar to the hug I gave her after we signed our divorce papers. Then I turn to Teagan. “Let’s get out of Dodge.”
“We’re not in Dodge.” She peers up at me, eyebrows pinched together.
“It’s just an expression, kiddo. Dodge is in Kansas.”
“That’s where Dorothy lives,” she chirps. “Are we going to Kansas on our road trip?”
“We are not, but we’ll be going through a bunch of other cool places.”
She punches the air with her fist, and again, the keychains on her backpack rattle like they’re cheering too.
Sabrina scoops Teagan into her arms again and holds her close. “Remember to keep your new iPad charged at all times so Mommy can call and see you every day. That’s the main reason we gave it to you, okay?”
She sets her back onto her feet, and the little girl flashes a toothless grin. “Talk to you soon, Mommy.” She skips down the sidewalk, waving over her shoulder. “Love you!”
“I love you, baby!” She blows kisses.
I walk backward, facing Sabrina for one final wave, and then I follow my daughter to the truck, ready for our own adventure.
I’m anxious to get back to Sapphire Creek. Like I’ve been gone too long, even though we haven’t officially moved there to begin with. It just feels like Teagan and I are already at home there.