Chapter 47
chapter
forty-seven
MAREN
Dixie barges into Nate’s house without sparing us a glance as she loops her arm through mine and drags me into the living room. “I figured I’d find you here,” she says, and instead of the bite to her tone that I expect, I only detect desperation.
In fact, she seems out of breath.
“What’s going on?” I wiggle my arm free and blink until the whiplash of her storming presence subsides. Something’s happening, but I can’t tell if it’s an emergency or if she simply found the right China dish set she’s been on the hunt for. “Are you okay?”
“I’m pregnant.”
My jaw nearly comes unhinged.
Tears stream down her flushed cheeks. “I’m pregnant,” she repeats and bursts into a cacophony of sobs.
“Oh my God,” I mutter, stunned with an overwhelming sense of wonder and joy. “Oh my God!” I screech. The urge to tackle her into a bear hug like no other bear hug I’ve ever given a single person in my life almost possesses my whole body, but at the last millisecond, I think better of it.
Probably best for the baby if I don’t smother their mother.
Instead, I wrap my hands around hers and squeeze. “Dixie, I’m so excited for you and Barrett. Congratulations!” I wave our joined hands up and down, launching my version of a mini dance party.
“I can’t even believe it.” She smiles through her tears, her cheeks stained with crimson blotches.
“I took ten pregnancy tests just to be sure, and I made an appointment with my doctor. I probably should’ve waited to say anything, but after the last positive test, I just couldn’t.
I had to tell you.” She gulps, seemingly catching her breath.
“After Barrett, you were the first person I had to tell. I need you, Mar, now more than ever, and I’m so sorry for what happened.
I was so shitty to you, and I deserved everything you said. ”
I finally give in to the urge, and I wrap my arms around her shoulders. “Let’s put that behind us and focus on the good things coming our way, okay?”
“But you were right,” she says. Her words are strained as she hiccups with more sobs.
“I’ve been trying to get pregnant for what’s felt like forever, and I just started living on autopilot, throwing all my energy into you and trying to run your life, instead.
I didn’t realize it, but I guess I needed a distraction.
You didn’t deserve that. I was such a bitch. ”
“Babe.” I pull back to look at her but keep my hands on her shoulders. “I know you care about me.”
“I crossed so many lines.”
“That’s what happens sometimes when we care so much.
” I release a watery laugh. “I swear, this has been the most bizarre few months. Let’s agree that Mercury has been in retrograde, and maybe we’ve even had more full moons than is cosmically sound.
But you and me? We’re good. We always will be, okay? ”
Dixie nods, and relief clearly seeps out of her with each fresh tear.
Over her shoulder, I catch Nate leaning against the back of the couch, one side of his mouth hitched into a half grin. The dimple curved in his cheek sends a flurry of emotions through my stomach, and I peer back down at my sister.
“I’m going to be the best fucking aunt,” I whisper, my own tears hot and heavy on my cheeks.
“No cursing in front of the baby, though.” She winces. “Not to be bossy again.”
“I have nine months to practice clean language. I’m perfectly capable of such hogwash.” I wink at Nate, for all the times he’s used hogwash in place of the curse word he really wanted to use.
Dixie laughs, and my heart swells.
She whips her head in Nate’s direction. “Oh. Um, hi.” She deeply inhales like she needs the extra air to steady her voice—and herself. “Sorry I never answered your texts. Or Addie’s.”
“You were a little busy.” He shrugs.
“Even if I wasn’t, it still would’ve been impossible to answer all of Addie’s texts and calls. I saw six voice mails from her. I lost count after that.”
“Not surprising,” I say. “She’s caring to a fault too.”
Dixie glances from me to Nate and back to me. “I’m glad you have people in your life who have your back. It’s important.”
“And you know I’ll always have your back too, right? No matter what happens.”
“Even if we fight?”
“Honestly, we were probably long overdue for a fight, don’t you think?”
“When was the last one—when we were in high school?”
I nod, mentally sifting through our old memories. “I think I stole—I mean, borrowed—your lip gloss.”
“Sounds about right.” She sticks her tongue out.
“How about we grab some leftovers and get comfortable?” Nate waves toward the kitchen. “There’s plenty to eat and drink.”
“Oh, I don’t want to impose. I just needed to share.”
“Never imposing,” Nate says before I have the chance to say the same. “We’re all family here. Always have been.” The acute intensity of his eyes as they land on me steals my breath.
My heart stutters as the truth of it warms my chest like the sun rising to shed its heat on the world.
“Before we do, I need to say something else.” Dixie tucks her hair behind her ears and faces Nate, her cheeks burning red. “I owe you an apology too.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t.”
“I want to apologize, though.” She drags her hands down her pants and back up. “I was against you and my sister getting back together. I didn’t think it’s what was best, given how heartbroken she was the first time.”
Nate’s shoulders sag forward.
“I’ve been doing a lot of meditating and reflecting, and the truth is—I was heartbroken too,” Dixie whispers. “We were all close once, and when you two broke up, it wasn’t just Maren who lost you. I did too.”
“Oh, babe.” I frown. This is news to me.
She never talked about Nate after we broke up, and I never stopped to ask her why. I was so wrapped up in my own head that I didn’t realize the effect it had on her too.
Dixie turns to me. “I’m sorry for trying to talk you out of getting back together. I can see now that I was very wrong.”
Nate meets my gaze, the corners of his lips curved downward.
“It’s all over your face, Mar. You’re happy.” She squeezes my hand and reaches for Nate too, who joins us on this side of the couch. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. For you both to be happy.”
“I’m so sorry, Dixie.” He places his other hand over hers.
“Just promise me you’ll be good to each other.”
“That—we can do,” I say at the same time that Nate says, “Done.”
It’s not long before Dixie, Nate, and I settle into comfortable conversation, much like old times when she and I would hang out here while our mother worked.
This is where Evie became a second mother to us. She’s been there for Dixie and me for years, and not even an ocean could contain our gratitude for her.
Evie had even set me down earlier today, and with tears in her eyes, she told me how proud she is of me. How proud my mother would be. “You have grown into a wonderful young lady, and you deserve the world. I couldn’t be happier for you and my son. It’s been my dream,” she said.
“For Nate and me to get together again?”
“For him to be whole.”
In the kitchen, we pour drinks and nibble on leftovers. I watch Nate across the table from Dixie and me. He winks as he sips from his cup, and Dixie raves over the sausage balls.
We ask Dixie how she’s feeling.
I share ideas on opening a bakery someday.
In true Nate fashion, he showers us with words of encouragement.
It’s the perfect ending to a magical day.
The last few months have, indeed, been insane. So much has changed in such a short amount of time. It’s been a whirlwind of heartbreak, joy, and gratitude.
And I wouldn’t change any of it.