Chapter 50
Penelope
That Saturday, I looked at my hand as I entered the elevator at the lobby of the Marina Sands hotel. It looked different without
the engagement ring next to the wedding band. Lonely.
The last couple of days with Olivia and Arabella were stressful, but that time did also help me solidify that I wanted to
stay. For a while at least. Maybe one day in a few months or a few years, I would be ready to leave. But not just yet.
I spent the entire time getting ready and going to the Marina Sands in a state of anxious excitement. I adjusted my dress
again, the canary yellow silk with an elaborately beaded collar fell perfectly against my skin. And because I knew it would
drive him a little crazy, it was completely backless.
I went over all the iterations tonight could be. Maybe he wanted to start over together, without the pressure of marriage.
It would be prudent and sensible. I wasn’t rushing toward a happily-ever-after. I wanted happy.
And while I still didn’t know where happy was, I knew who it was.
The loud ding from the elevator as it completed its journey pushed me out of my head and into the present.
A warm, humid breeze filled the elevator as the doors opened to the rooftop. The expansive outdoor bar was empty, but the space was punctuated with high-tops and nothing else. Not a soul around.
My eyes stopped when they found him, standing in front of the door that led into the rooftop restaurant. His alluring smile
pulled me forward.
My next few steps felt like I was walking on mud. They were unsteady and hurried until I was in front of him.
“Hi, Poppy.” He smiled, so devilishly handsome I had to resist the urge to pull him in and kiss him right there.
I ran my hands down the dress. “Hello, darling.”
“You look...” His voice lowered, the heat of his stare warmed every inch of my skin.
“You’ve given it thought?” I couldn’t help myself. We could have sat for a nice dinner or at least entered the room, but I
couldn’t wait.
“You were right.” He reached out and ran a few fingers through my hair. A delightful burst of sparks ran down the back of
my ear and along my neck. “I was scared and my initial reaction was knee-jerk to hold on to you. But I spent the week realizing
I did need some time.”
My heart wobbled in my chest, nervous for what came next, but his gentle fingers ran along my skin reassuringly.
“Not because I need more than a second to know you’re the one. My one. I realized something. Every person that came into my
life and every single one that left it was a lesson. I thought it was that I had to hold on tight or I’d lose the person I
loved. But it was actually a lesson in resilience. All so when this moment came, I wouldn’t mess it up.”
Every butterfly in my stomach took flight. I felt weightless.
“What if in six months, it’s not Singapore anymore?” I blurted, anxiety pushing the words out of my mouth, second-guessing—old
habits died hard.
“Here or Manhattan or Tokyo or Bali or wherever the hell you want to go. Take me with you, or have adventures on your own and then come back to me.” His hands slid along my hips and pulled me close. “And not because I’m afraid to lose you—because I want to be with you, however you’ll have me. My heart is yours. Whether it is perfectly intact or riddled with cracks. So do your
worst. Break whatever you want. I’m not scared; I can take it.” He leaned his head against mine. “I dare you.”
My throat clogged with emotion. The tears pushed against the backs of my eyes, but with a deep inhale I kept most at bay.
“This isn’t a game,” I quipped, trying and failing to lift the heavy weight and get a handle on all the tears that streaked
through my makeup.
“No, it’s not, because I’ve already won,” he whispered. His thumb pushed away a few of the stray tears.
The words throbbed in my ears. A quiet sob racked my bones. “You’re sure?”
His hand moved over my cheek and my head tilted back. Time stilled, the vast expanse filled with the meaning of all of it.
A new life for both of us. He slowly pressed his lips over mine and pulled me into a soft kiss.
Like the one after the conservancy gala: lazy and slow. A gentle passage to what we’d become so familiar with. It had only
been a week, yet I missed the taste of him. Rich and sensuous. Sweet and strong.
I missed it all. The warmth of his breath mingled in mine. His velvet touch when his deep longing revealed itself. With a
soft moan, I deepened the kiss and pulled him closer. The desire finding new urgency as the world faded away and all I could
feel, hear, breathe, was him.
A slow groan rumbled up his chest. His hands splayed over my bare back, finding the hem of the dress, and his fingers traced
up and down it.
Teasing.
“You cannot rip this before dinner,” I whispered as he pulled away slowly.
“I won’t.” He laid a final peck on my lips. He pushed away a few final tears with his thumbs. “Not before dinner, anyway.”
He didn’t move. We stayed in that suspended moment. The soft breeze, the traffic below, and the faint sounds of the ocean
began to reemerge.
“Shouldn’t we go in?” I whispered.
He cocked his head to the side and the corner of his mouth tipped up.
“In a second.” He looked up in thought or like he was listening for something. I tried to listen more carefully; I could hear
faint hushed whispers and a few chairs moving.
“Xander...”
“I realized something else. When you took off the ring.” His hands moved down my body to clasp mine. He slowly knelt down
as he pulled a familiar box from his pocket. “I never actually proposed.”
My heart tumbled. A tremble moved through my entire body as I realized what he was doing. “Xander...”
“Not that I don’t love what happened at your house that day, but we need a proposal story for the spreadsheet.” He knocked
three times on the doors. “A real one.”
Before I could say anything, the doors opened to a long table. Seated around it was everyone. Our entire group of friends:
our family. An encouraging look from Sloan and CeCe. A quiet chuckle from Tristan. A rare smile from Rohan. Everyone was there:
Henry, Selena, Marcus, Jackson; Olivia and Arabella, too.
Every word got tangled in my chest. “How did they? When...”
The tears pushed through and streaked down my face.
“They’re a little louder and less easy to control. Definitely wouldn’t sit still for a painting.” He glanced over to them then looked back to me. “Our version of a Norman Rockwell.”
The trembles gave way to a quiet sob.
“Lots of things are going to change, but them? We’re stuck with them because when you love people, you can’t really lose them.”
I hiccupped a laugh. “Good.”
“And you’re stuck with me. All I want is to spend the rest of my life without a plan, figuring it out as we go.” He began
opening the ring box. My ring sat inside, waiting for me. “Penelope Kath—”
“Yes.” I pushed my shaking hand a millimeter closer to the ring.
His head dropped with a corresponding laugh that was short and shaky. A moment later, he lifted it again. “You have to let
me ask you at least once , Poppy.”
I nodded.
“Penelope Katherine Chen-Astor, will you marry me?”
“Yes.”
In a flash my ring was back on my finger and he stood, wrapping me in his arms and pulling me back into another kiss. The
sound of claps and cheers went from loud to muffled. Another kiss that I could melt into. In the arms of the man that flipped
every notion I had about myself on its head and changed my entire world in the process.
We pulled away; the sounds of the room began to slowly bleed back into my senses.
“You forgot Sutton,” I playfully corrected him.
The serenity I always found in his eyes was accompanied by something else. I could see an entire life for us in them. “Penelope
Katherine Chen-Astor-Sutton.”
I yanked on his lapels to bring his lips to mine. “Much better.”