The Cheerleader

Chapter Twenty-Two

Bryan

“Let’s go. I don’t want to be late,”

Eldy says from the doorway of my room, flanked by Mack and Chuck.

“Who took a bath in their aftershave?”

The strong scent stings my throat. I know it’s Chuck’s bad habit to overindulge.

He raises his hand and folds over his fingers, leaving the middle one raised.

“If you changed your mind and need to study, we can go without you,”

Mack says, only because he’s worried I’m going to flunk off the team ever since he found out I was getting tutored at Coach’s insistence.

I stand, stuff my wallet in my back pocket, then grab my keys. “I’m ready.”

“No argument?”

Eldy says. “Is it because the cheerleaders are running the show?”

He grins. I ignore him and walk down the hall and out the front door. They follow me to Eldy’s car.

“Yeah, what’s with that?”

Chuck says. “How can the cheerleaders get away with putting on an X-rated movie fundraiser? It doesn’t seem right.”

He’s not asking anyone in particular, so he gets no answer, not that any of us have an answer.

“They’re going to make a crapload of money,”

Mack says.

Eldy gets behind the wheel, the last one in, and slams his door. I roll down my window.

He starts the car. “Sherry told me one of the guys is a genius with money, and they need it for uniforms for the guys and to go to some of their away games when the athletic department doesn’t send them. I guess they aren’t scheduled to go to all the basketball games.”

“Aren’t you a cheerleader expert all of a sudden?”

Mack says.

“Who’s Sherry?”

Chuck says. “Is she that short little bit of a thing?”

“She’s petite,”

Eldy says. “And cute.”

I snap my head around to look at him because I could swear there was a special note of interest in his voice, proprietary, and that isn’t like him at all.

“Seriously, why are you so hot to go to this movie?”

Eldy asks me, keeping his eyes on the road and speaking quietly.

I shrug. “The usual reason. To keep the rest of you out of trouble.”

It’s partly true, but mostly I want to keep the cheerleaders out of trouble because who knows what kind of crowd this movie is going to attract. Deep Throat. Fuck. I know they don’t have a security detail because Liz laughed at me when I asked her about it. She insisted that if the student activities office didn’t require a security detail, they would be fine, and there was no way they were paying for one if they didn’t have to.

The nearest parking lot across from the fraternities' quad is nearly empty except for Irma’s food trailer. She sets up early with extra food on Thursday nights, expecting her biggest crowd of the week. As we walk by the trailer on our way to the physical science building, the scent of fries and sausages wafts past my nose. I wonder if she knows about the blockbuster movie, that tonight might be even busier than the usual Thursday night.

“I know where I’m stopping after the show,”

Mack says.

“Irma’s?”

Eldy snorts, shaking his head. “You clown—I’m heading to the Rathskeller where there are girls and anyone who wants a ride home will be joining me.”

“I didn’t know you were into threesomes,”

I say. He punches my shoulder and then smirks.

“Maybe I am.”

He gives me a look. “You?”

I ignore his question as we reach the glass door entry to the lobby and go inside.

There’s a table in front of the doors to the stadium-style lecture hall opening off the middle of the lobby. Susie sits there with one of the other cheerleaders. I think her name is Sherry.

“Hi,”

I say, purposely forcing Susie to meet my eyes. I’m rewarded with her blush.

She sits up straight and schools her expression, trying to look like she doesn’t care she’s selling tickets to a porno flick.

“Hi.”

She eyes the group of us like we’re more perverted than she gave us credit for, and I hold in a smile. Eldy stands next to me, and the way he looks at the girl sitting with Susie confirms my suspicion that she is indeed Sherry, the cute one he talks about.

“Hi, Sherry. Imagine meeting you at a movie like this.”

She giggles. “I know, but I’m glad I’m out here and not inside watching.”

“That’s a shame,”

Eldy says, and I elbow him hard.

“How many tickets?”

Susie asks.

“One,”

I say, unhappy about handing over a ten-dollar bill, a steep price for a movie, especially one I have no desire to see.

Eldy pushes my hand aside before Susie can take my money. “I’m buying. Four tickets.”

He hands her a fifty, and her eyes go wide. Mack and Chuck smack him on the back and thank him.

“You’re a good friend,”

Susie says as she hands over the tickets and the change.

When he pushes the ten dollars in change back to her, I can’t let him get away with the asshole move calculated to impress Sherry.

“He’s a fool with too much money he didn’t have to earn,” I say.

Sherry gasps. “That’s not very nice. He’s not a fool just because he wants to be generous to his friends—whether he’s earned the money or not. He could do a million other things with it.”

She’s serious and staring at me like I’m a jerk. Maybe I am.

Eldy’s looking at her like he wants to eat her alive. We’ll see what kind of jerk she thinks I am when I save her from being devoured later because I was serious in my warning to Eldy and the others about not messing around with the cheerleaders.

Though I’m mostly concerned with two cheerleaders in particular, the ones who mean something to me: Liz and Susie.

I may as well admit to myself that Susie means something to me. But I refuse to think about what that something is.

There’s a crowd lining up behind us in the lobby, all male, and the large clock over the door says there are only five minutes until showtime, so we go inside the lecture hall. Eldy leads us toward the front where a big screen is set up behind the lectern.

There are doors on either side of the screen leading out to a hallway that leads to the restrooms, other classrooms, and an exit further down. I had an intro physical science class here last semester and did well. Science and math suit my way of thinking—logical, reasonable, and dispassionate.

“Let’s sit in the back,”

I say, stopping them before they claim seats. Eldy looks at me, and I stare back and motion with my chin. “You’ll see the screen fine.”

He grunts, and we take our seats near the back row, me on the end. They know my intention is for us to play bouncer, bodyguard, security in general.

Mack squeezes past and sits next to me. “You take your responsibility too far sometimes,”

he says. “We’re not really responsible for the cheerleaders, you know.”

“You have a problem looking out for them?”

I say under my breath, not looking at him but watching the crowd. I was a bouncer for a short stint my freshman year to earn extra money before Coach found out, so I know the drill, what to look for.

“No.”

He shrugs. “I guess they’re friends. Liz is good people.”

The lights lower and the buzzing in the room gets quieter but more intense.

Some guys are still coming in the doors as the lights go dark and the movie starts.

As Liz tries to close the doors, I hear her whispering to someone that there’s no more room and they’ll have to leave. I turn around. There are two guys, not huge by my standards, but they tower over Liz as she smiles up at them. One of them wears a UConn rugby jersey, and I recognize him. It’s Vinnie, the guy with a chip I met at the beer fest.

He argues with her. “I just paid my money to the pretty ticket lady?—”

“We’ll reimburse you?—”

Keith comes over to help her convince Vinnie and his friend they have to leave.

“I’ll stand in the back.”

Vinnie sounds reasonable, but I tense up. When he pushes Liz aside to go past her, I spring to my feet and race to the doorway at the back of the lecture hall where they’re arguing.

I put my hand on Vinnie’s shoulder and pull him away from Liz. Heads turn our way when he curses at me, and I feel my friends come up behind me.

Keith stands between us and the seats as he faces the staring crowd. “Enjoy the movie, everyone.”

He points to the screen, and that gets the crowd’s attention back where it belongs.

“Can you escort him outside?”

Liz says to me with a wobble in her voice. Her expression is uncharacteristically tense and her skin pale. Shit. I knew she wouldn’t react well to a physical threat from this guy. I should have intervened sooner.

“Let’s go.”

I move my grip from Vinnie’s shoulder to his arm and drag him through the doors from the lecture hall turned movie theater to the entry lobby. His friend follows with his mouth open.

Liz, Mack, and Eldy follow us out. I motion for Chuck to stay inside.

“Make sure things stay calm in there.” He nods.

While my attention is on Chuck as the door closes behind him, Vinnie pulls from my grasp.

“You can’t do this.”

His friend finally says, “Hey, who the hell are you?”

I ignore him, and Mack opens the glass door to the outside. Vinnie’s friend rushes me and shoves me against the closed half of the double glass doors.

“No!”

Someone shouts. It’s Susie. She and Sherry are still at the ticket table, packing up. They have identical expressions of shock on their faces. Registering their responses, I reign in my anger-fueled adrenaline and take a breath instead of following my instinct for a violent reaction.

“Keep your hands off me, asshole,”

I say, stepping away.

“Who do you think you are?—”

“I’m a friend of the lady you put your hands on, that’s who.”

“I didn’t?—”

“That’s right. It wasn’t you.”

I turn to Vinnie, who’s being guarded by Mack and Eldy as he glances between them, me, and Susie. Fuck that. “It was Vinnie, who should know better. Time for you to leave.”

Forgetting about his friend, I move to Vinnie and stand up to him.

I’m a few inches taller and close enough to smell the alcohol on his breath. Staring him down, I try making him leave with sheer intimidation rather than punching him again. Frankly, I’d rather punch him in the nose, but I don’t want to get into trouble.

Glancing at Susie, who’s watching closely with less horror on her face, I admit to myself I also don’t want to upset her or give her the impression that I’m some dickhead with a violent temper. Because I’m not. I have an abundance of self-control, thanks to my old man.

Regaining her composure, Liz comes to stand next to me. “I’m sorry, sir. Here’s your money back.”

She hands him and his friend a ten-dollar bill each, then smiles.

“I’ll make sure you get a front row seat next time.”

Brushing his rugby shirt as if to make sure she sees it, Vinnie responds as predicted to her efforts to placate. He leers at her as if she’s invited him to bed.

“Let’s go,”

I repeat, holding the glass door open while Mack and Eldy herd him and his friend to the threshold.

“When’s the next showing?”

Vinnie cranes his head around while I close in, standing between him and Liz.

“Never mind. Time for you to leave before I call the campus police.”

He scoffs, turning his attention back to me. “Not this time. This is between me and the ladies, asshole. I have you pegged. You think you’re something special because you play football, but you’re nothing but a wuss. You wear a helmet. Try playing rugby, big shot. You wouldn’t last.”

I stare at him without saying a word and without giving him an inch.

Liz says, “Look for posters about our next movie. I’m not sure when it’ll be.”

She waves at him and then turns away, hurrying toward the ticket table to gather up the money and tickets. As soon as Liz, Susie, and Sherry disappear around the corner, Vinnie brings his attention back to me.

“Susie’s too good for you.”

“Join the club,”

I say, not disagreeing. Not even surprised that he knows Susie’s name. She’s gaining notoriety on campus, as pretty cheerleaders often do.

His friend says, “Let’s get out of here, Vinnie.”

He stumbles out the door, and Vinnie follows.

Once they leave, I make sure the glass doors of the lobby are locked. Keith slips from the lecture room door to check on us and sees the chain for the main entrance as we finish with the locks.

“We’ll have people exit through the back,”

he says. “Works better that way anyhow. Thanks for helping out, guys.”

He looks around. “Where’s Liz?”

“She disappeared down the hall with the money,” I say.

Eldy adds, “Better watch out or she might leave the country. Looks like you guys raked it in tonight.”

He laughs. “You bet your ass we did. Josh and Liz are masterminds. We’re rolling in dough now.”

“Cheerleaders most likely to fucking succeed,” I say.

Eldy claps my back. “We’re missing the movie, man.”

I roll my eyes. Keith tries opening the door, and it doesn’t budge. “Fuck. It automatically locked.”

“Follow me.”

I lead everyone down the hall and around the corner to the back hall leading to the doors at the front of the lecture room, and they go back inside. I don’t bother.

Opening the exit door at the end of the hall, I prop it open and sit on the small cement step, breathing in the night air. Eventually, I feel someone come up behind me, and I’m not surprised to see Liz when I turn around.

I’m also not surprised to see her face warm up in a flirtatious expression, but I’m not happy about it as I get to my feet and come back inside to face her.

“Thank you,”

she purrs and puts her hands on my chest as she closes in. I glance over her shoulder, wishing for an interruption because I suddenly feel too tired to confront the problem of our relationship tonight.

Instead, I move towards the door to go back into the movie. “Let’s go back inside,”

I whisper as she walks with me.

She shakes her head and scrunches her nose. “Not me.”

I can hear the hooting, applause, and other noises from the movie inside, and I don’t much want to go in either.

“Can’t say I blame you. You finished counting the piles of money already?”

Her mouth returns to its normal queen-of-the-world smile. “I’m a fast counter. Josh and Nick are on their way to deposit it now.”

She looks around like she’s looking for someone. “Wait for me while I go to the women’s room.”

I’m happy to wait in the hall and miss the movie. At this point, I’m not sure how much is left of Deep Throat. Confident that if anyone else acts up, my friends will take care of it, I can afford to stay put. They’re stand-up guys when they need to be. Even though it meant missing a chunk of this shitty movie they wanted to see, they helped me eject Vinnie the drunk rugby player anyway. I owe them.

Liz returns from the recesses of the dim hallway to find me leaning against the opposite wall outside the lecture room door.

“Thank you for taking care of the problem with those guys,”

Liz says as she gets close, not stopping until she’s right up against me. “You’re so good to me, Bry.”

She clasps her hands around the back of my neck and plasters her body against mine so close that I can feel her curves and her heat. Fuck. I don’t want to feel her, and I need to do something about it before she goes too far.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,”

she says, tilting her head up to kiss me. I turn my head away, discomfort and sadness strangling me as I disentangle myself from her and hold her at arm’s length. I can’t even blame her behavior on drinking this time.

“Stop it, Liz. We’re not?—”

“I know. Don’t say it. You don’t want to take advantage of me because you think I’m pathetic and I don’t know what I’m doing?—”

“That’s not it.”

“Then what is it, Bryan? Tell me.”

“We’re friends. You’re too important to me as a friend to fool with our relationship. I only hope I didn’t already ruin things between us.”

“Oh, Bryan.”

She sighs and leans into me, and I let her because it’s just a hug, and I’m tired of pushing her away when I need her friendship, her hugs, the way it used to be.

“You could never ruin things between us. No matter what, we’ll always be friends.”

She sighs again, and I relax, hoping we can stay like this. I don’t have too many people I can talk to or trust, and she’s number one on that list. Eldy is number two. It’s a short list.

Susie pops into my head, but I shake her image away. I can’t put her on that list no matter how much I want to. She’s not the sweet angel of my memory and imagination anymore. She’s real, and she’s serious. Too serious and costly to pay the price.

Hell. She’s an all-or-nothing girl.

Liz looks up at me. “But the thing is, I think we should be more than friends.”

Shit. This is the last thing I want to hear from her, but I don’t have a chance to shut down her line of wishful thinking when the lecture hall door bangs open and two guys come through on their way to the men’s room.

“Let’s go outside,”

I say. “Where we can have some privacy.”

She gives me the kind of sultry look that tells me she’s misreading my reason for wanting privacy by a long shot. “I mean to talk, Liz.”

I force sternness into my voice.

But the door opens again and more people spill into the hallway.

“Man, that was crazy,”

someone says, then launches into an X-rated conversation with his buddy, dirtier than the movie. The stream of guys talking trash doesn’t stop, so I pull Liz further down the hall, away from the exit where everyone’s heading. We end up outside the women’s room.

“Look, Bryan, I’m not stupid. I know what you’re saying. I know you’re afraid of losing what we have if something goes wrong, but I think things between us could be so much better if we?—”

“I don’t think you’re right, Liz.”

“Of course I’m right.”

She smiles like she’s being perfectly reasonable and I’m the one out of my mind. Shit. What do I have to say to convince her?

“No, Liz. You’re not right. I don’t want?—”

The door of the women’s room opens, and Susie steps out with a few other girls from the cheering squad, the only females who showed up for this movie. They immediately gravitate to us as if Liz always has an open invitation to step right up and get her attention, never needing privacy.

She wears a big smile in greeting, and it’s genuine, so I guess they’re right and I’m wrong. I don’t bother trying to hide my annoyance at the intrusion, adding to my frustration of trying to negotiate my relationship with her as if it’s a Middle East peace treaty.

It shouldn’t be this hard.

I back away while the girls buzz about how much money they made off all the horny guys who paid a ridiculous amount to watch the overrated porn flick.

Susie glances my way and gives me one of those looks like she’s trying to puzzle me out, the look she gives me often enough that I should be used to it. It also happens to be a look I enjoy, so maybe I go out of my way to stay mysterious and keeping her interested. Whether it’s good for me or not.

I’m shameless when it comes to toying with her, but I’ve stopped feeling guilty about it. She slips away from the group and comes over to where I’m standing, out of Liz’s earshot. It’s as if Susie’s read my mind about wanting her attention, or maybe she’s as attracted to me as I am to her.

Maybe this is the night I ought to confirm that those stolen kisses were the tip of the red-hot iceberg. Or maybe I’m out of my mind, asking for trouble.

“Did you and your friends enjoy the show?”

She’s trying to hold back a grin, and I doubt she knows how sexy the look is.

“I don’t know about my friends, but I didn’t watch it.”

“Really? Then why did you come?”

Her words trigger a different meaning than she intended, and I give her an evil grin until understanding dawns and her face flushes pink. My devil juices are good and riled up now.

“You know what I meant,”

she mutters, looking away.

It’s a bad idea, but I put my hand on her warm, soft cheek and gently turn her face toward mine. Staring for several heartbeats, I make sure I have her undivided attention before I speak.

“I think you can be a very naughty girl. And I like it. A lot.”

Her eyes go dark as she stares, losing whatever shyness she had.

“Then that’s a problem for you. Because I’m reserving my naughtiness for…”

She trails off while I watch her discomfort return.

“For who?”

My question mocks her, presuming there’s no one better suited than me, presuming she agrees. Playing a dangerous game I can’t win.

She aims her eyes at me full-on, her mouth tense and determined, and says, “The future love of my life.”

Her firm voice is quiet and brave as she reveals her romantic underbelly, making me feel meaner than I want to be. Not mean enough to say the words on the tip of my tongue. No, that’s a problem for you.

I nod. I can’t feel sorry for her about the inevitable crushing of her romantic dreams. Not because I don’t care. More because I get the terrible feeling that her dreams might come true, that her romantic notions are real and uncrushable.

Maybe that is a problem for me because she’s made it clear I’m not in the running for the role of her romantic lead. But that’s not news to me. I’m no romantic. I’m the opposite.

Yes, the last thing I want to do is crush the thing about her I find most intriguing, her ever-hopeful romantic view of the world. The one where everything turns out right.

The one I find it impossible to accept.

The one that makes me and Susie impossible. No matter how attracted we are, no matter how strongly I feel a connection.

A rise of giggles comes from Liz and her posse of cheerleaders, saving me from dwelling anymore on Susie. They’re too excited to stand still, probably leftover energy from seeing their first porn flick. Or in Liz’s case, because they made an obscene amount of money off a bunch of degenerate college guys. With their enthusiasm spilling over, they come over to me and Susie.

“We’re going to the Rathskeller,”

Liz says. She puts a hand on my arm. “Come with us, Bryan.”

She flicks a glance at her best friend. “And you too, Susie.”

I shake my head. “I need to finish a paper tonight. And Susie needs to read it over before I hand it in tomorrow.”

It’s a bold-faced lie, but it’s more for Susie’s benefit than Liz’s because I know Susie doesn’t like the Rathskeller any more than I do.

Not that I’m not benefiting too. I’m obsessed with Susie. It’s getting to be intolerable. I can’t let her mess with my head anymore. It’ll interfere with football, my life. I need to get her out of my head so I can finish out the last few games of the season in top form.

I need to get past my hang-up on her—and Liz. Tonight.

Susie gives me a look, part grateful, part suspicious, and if my ability to read her isn’t shot to hell with my constant thinking about her, she seems partly interested.

“Your loss,”

Judy says as they say their goodbyes and thank-yous, ultimately snaring Liz with their gravitational pull, moving around the corner to the front exit as we watch them go.

Susie turns to me. “We don’t have a paper due tomorrow.”

It’s not an accusation, more like a request for an explanation. One I’m not inclined to give her.

Besides, she’s smart enough to figure it out if she hasn’t already. I’m losing my mind, my war with self-control when it comes to her.

The part she might not guess is that I don’t want to be out of control.

“Let’s go.”

I put a hand on her lower back to guide her to the back exit. It was an automatic touch and I realize that I’m doing it when I feel her warmth through her jeans because she’s wearing a short jacket.

“This is the wrong way,”

she says. “You didn’t want to walk with the girls?—”

“No. Neither did you. Liz snubbed you.”

She stops short at the door and I stop with her. A frisson of pleasure at getting a rise out of her skims along my nerves.

“She didn’t snub me. She knows I don’t enjoy the Rathskeller like she does.”

She firms her mouth and raises a brow. “You know that about me too.”

“And?”

She laughs as we push outside, where my eyes automatically aim upward at the night sky, which is lit by a million stars. I feel her laughter penetrate, making me feel like I could touch the stars if I tried.

“You’re so… so…”

She trails off, shaking her head as I lead us along the path that eventually winds around to the sidewalk along Hillside Road.

“Wonderful?”

She laughs again, and I breathe it in with the crispy air. “You cold?”

“I’m fine.”

She shudders, proving herself a liar, and chuckles.

I put an arm around her and pull her in to my side as we walk. It’s not selfish, more like torture. Unless I do something about it.

She gazes up at me. “If you were a gentleman, you’d give me your jacket.”

“Guess I’m not a gentleman. But you knew that.”

She sighs. “You’re not so bad. You are keeping me warm.”

“It’s a start.”

That was probably the wrong thing to say because I feel her stiffen slightly, but after a few steps, she relaxes again, and we walk to West Campus to her dorm in silence, not exactly comfortable because I have too much anticipation revving me up, and so does she, but it’s not unpleasant.

She tries separating from me, but I hold onto her and walk her down the path to the back door. She turns when we get to the small, dimly lit entry and looks up. Seeing the slight quiver of her mouth makes blood rush to my dick.

“Thanks for walking me home.”

Her eyes twinkle like the stars, and all I can think is that I don’t want to let her go, don’t want to leave her in this state again. It’s not just that I’m horny. I’m hungry to have her romantic sparkle, her kindness, all her attention, like a starving man struggling to survive.

“I’m going to kiss you.”

I move close until our bodies touch, setting off an arc of awareness we both feel. She breathes in and out without saying anything, and I know she wants me to kiss her but doesn’t want to want it. I know she’s struggling with her conscience because of Liz, and I wish to hell I could make that problem go away.

But all I can do is make good on my promise to kiss her. So I lower my head and cup her face with my hand and touch my mouth to hers. And it’s like I’m touching the stars.

This isn’t a goodnight kiss, not a casual peck or a tease. I’m too hungry for that. I devour her lips and groan at the taste of her, sweet and spicy and real.

Our tongues touch and sizzle. My mind buzzes as my need for her builds because I’m even hungrier than before. Pressing into her, I slide my hands to her ass and pull her hips to mine. I want her to feel what she does to me.

She moans, and I could swear I hear pleasure, but she pulls back, ending the kiss and putting her hands on my chest between us. Still, I hold on, not willing to lose contact.

My breathing is ragged, and I stare at her, noticing her breathing is erratic too. My heart races under the touch of her hands, and I know she feels it, understands what she does to me. I know she likes it, wants it, and is afraid of it, like wanting me and having me will make her a bad person.

And that’s not who she is. I know that, and I need that. It’s who she is and why I’m obsessed with her.

“I have to go inside now.”

Her words are shaky.

“I want to come with you.”

I don’t bother hiding my agenda. It’s too late anyway since my stiff dick took care of eliminating any surprise.

She bends her head and sighs, almost leaning on my chest, but then she gathers herself and looks at me with that honest stare that I love. Love? No, that I admire.

“You know I can’t… be with you. Not while Liz?—”

“I told you Liz and I are not?—”

“But Liz doesn’t know that. And you know it.”

“Fuck,”

I mutter. She’s fucking right. I swipe a hand through my hair and gulp in some cold air.

“Besides, I can’t figure you out. You confuse me. I need more stability and direction in my life, not more confusion.”

Surprise that Liz isn’t the only problem on her list forces me to back up.

Fuck.