Chapter Thirty-Seven
Susie
“Take me with you.”
I shouldn’t leave, but I have no idea if Liz will come back tonight—or ever. If I were her, I’d jump in my car and drive away. “If I don’t see her before I leave tomorrow, I’ll call her at home.”
“I have no car,”
he says. He looks at his watch. “Eldy should be home by now. I can call him for a ride.”
“You’re assuming I can’t make that walk with you?”
While he stares at me, not answering, I calculate how much energy I have left versus how much it would take to walk two miles to his apartment in the cold. He’s waiting for me to come to the same conclusion he came to.
I sigh. “You’re right. Not tonight. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t do it on a normal night when I didn’t just betray my best friend.”
And she didn’t just slap me in the face. The night has drained me of all emotions, and though I know I’m guilty as hell, I can’t feel it anymore. All I have left is stark, in-the-moment survival instincts.
I can only deal with whatever is in front of my face right now. “I’m tired and lonely enough to let you make that call. Tell Dane I promise to bake him all the cookies he wants over winter break.”
He stops on his way to my phone and looks at me. “When were you going to bake me cookies?”
I laugh. It’s my knee-jerk reaction because I’m running on empty. He smiles and makes the call. His smile should have a deeper effect on me, but all I feel is the mildest of flutters, like a feather against my cheek.
Following him to the phone automatically, as if I need to stay connected to him, I watch while he makes the call, waits for him to answer the phone, and finally explains to Dane what he wants.
“You’re going to owe me a lot more than cookies. You’re going to tell me what the hell is going on with your agent and the NFL.”
“I will. When I?—”
“Tonight. Before you go to bed,”
Dane says.
Shamelessly listening to every word of their conversation, I bite my lip, trying to understand why talking to Dane about the NFL is a problem for Bryan, knowing it is. But my mind is too foggy to think.
“I will. But you’re going to be disappointed.”
Bryan hangs up the phone and gets my coat from the closet and helps me into it.
“Your carriage will be here in a few minutes, princess.”
He quirks one side of his mouth, the one with the rare dimple. Reacting on raw animal instinct, my whole chest throbs with my beating heart, wild and free, in the moment, because I can’t think about anything else now as we close the door behind us.
He brings me to his room and lays me on his mattress, which is a heck of a lot roomier than mine. I realize I brought nothing with me, not even my toothbrush, but I don’t even care. Not tonight. I’ll deal with the morning when it comes.
“I’ll be right back. I need to find an extra pillow and talk to Eldy,”
he says, standing over me while I burrow into the bed.
I nod. I don’t have the energy to tell him I don’t need a pillow. The bedding smells so good, like him, and I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
“Are you asleep?”
I feel him nudging my ear with his nose and open my eyes when he nibbles on my ear, realizing it’s not a question.
He lowers himself into bed, shifting the mattress as his weight settles, taking over the space.
My eyes widen, and he smirks.
“You’re naked,”
I say, and the shock of it, the sight and feel of his bare body, wakes me fully and arouses me with instant anticipation.
As his arms wrap around me, his hands move under my clothes, and he nuzzles my ear.
He whispers, “I want to make love with you, Susie.”
His words explode in my head, and I can’t think or speak, but my body answers him with a deep longing kiss, the kind that claims him, that tells him to please make love to me and never stop.
His hands slip inside my panties and tug at them when he pauses, his lips hovering above mine. “Are you on the pill?”
I smile wide and nod, then pull his face back to mine and kiss him with everything I have, giving him everything—body, heart, and soul.
In the rosy light of the early morning, I start awake, and for an instant, I have no idea where I am. I feel a man’s body next to me, the strong bulk and heat of him. Bryan. I move toward him, and my muscles and the stickiness inside my thighs remind me of the night we spent.
A rush of too many emotions cascades with the flood of memories of last night, the lovemaking, the ride here with Eldy…
But when my mind travels back to the mess of everything that happened before that, trepidation shakes me. Liz.
The warm feelings fade, and being in bed with Bryan doesn’t seem right.
Heart thudding, I’m confused and desperate not to end the bliss of our night. Not yet. I move closer, inhaling the scent of him, and allow the sound of his even breathing to soothe me, allowing contentment to settle through me as the confusion recedes. The good feelings that I have deep down inside seep to the surface, making this room, this makeshift bed, with Bryan next to me, feel like heaven.
Nestling against his back, skin to skin, his body heat suffuses me, warding away reality like a drug, and I drift back to sleep.