Chapter Forty-Four
Susie
For the entire flight back to Bradley Field, all I can do is think about his last words. I love you, Susie. When I get off the plane and through the gangway, Bryan is the first person I see, standing there waiting for me.
Unable to help myself, I run into his arms and kiss him. I don’t care how many people are watching. He ends the kiss and takes my luggage from me.
“It’s good to see you,”
he says, a tentative smile on his face. “Let’s go.”
We walk towards the exit, and before we reach the door, I stop him.
“My parents send their condolences.”
I tug on his arm. “I’m sorry, I needed to tell you in person, to hug you.”
I wrap my arms around him and hold on. He holds me back.
He whispers in my hair, “Tell your parents I said thank you.”
I chuckle and take his arm. “They’re anxious to meet you.”
He grunts and we walk. “Tell me about the 49ers,” I say.
“It’s a sweet deal. I only talked to the owner and coach briefly, so I’ll find out more when I get there.”
“Sounds exciting.”
It does, but I can’t help the slip in my smile because he’ll be in California and I’ll be here in Connecticut.
“Come with me,”
he says, like he’s reading my mind.
“To California?”
I give a nervous laugh because I’m unsure what he’s saying.
“Yes.”
He doesn’t elaborate, of course, and I blow out a breath. Then I breathe back in, deeply, taking in his scent with the air, and I let go of everything except what I want most.
“I want to. So much.”
I can feel my mouth stretch wide as I lean into him.
“But?”
I pull up short. “I didn’t say but.”
All the buts crowd into my head now that they’ve been invited, dimming my smile. “I still have another year and a half to graduate.”
I bite my lip, ready to say to hell with my diploma and school and every ambition to be independent I ever had because I’m staring at Bryan right now, and he’s killing me with his pained look, drawing me in with his raw sensuality, the scent of him, the need to touch him, to be touched by him.
He reaches out and lays his hand over mine where I have it on my chest, like he’s read my mind.
“You can transfer to a school in California and finish your degree there.”
“I… could. It would take me longer, but?—”
“Do you really care how fucking long it takes?”
he growls out the words and drags me in close, no matter that we’re still in the middle of Bradley Airport.
I shake my head. “I can do it if I can get in-state tuition. It’s cheap in California. And I could get a job?—”
“Don’t worry about the money. Let’s go.”
We make it to the exit and find the car, Dane’s car. It makes me smile that Dane is such a good friend. “Since when aren’t you worried about money?”
He helps me in the passenger side and leans in to kiss me, a quick one like he’s stealing it. “Since my contract has been finalized and my agent got me some money up front.”
I notice a small upward tic in the corner of his mouth, and joy bubbles to the surface as I watch him walk around the car and get in. He navigates out of the airport, and I recognize the back route to Suffield.
“Tell me about your contract. What do you mean by money up front?”
“Turns out Harry is a good agent and a damn decent guy. He says the team is impressed with me. They know I’m strapped for cash, know all about my family’s story thanks to him—which ticks me off—but they agreed to give me a chunk of my first year’s salary up front so I can afford to live until training camp.”
“What about the rest of the year? You’ll run out of money if you start spending it now.”
He snorts. “Not damn likely. I’ll make five times as much as my old man did in a year breaking his back on the farm. Enough to send money to Mom and Wally.”
He sighs and slides his hand to my knee. “It won’t be the same as supplying truckloads of food to local grocers. I won’t be feeding people who need to eat.”
“True.”
I understand how much it means to him to be part of something so important and how important and necessary farming is. I feel the same way about teaching, like it’s vital to be someone essential to other people. “Are you okay with that? With playing a game for a living?”
“For a while. I’ll go back to farming eventually.”
His grip on the wheel tightens, and his face loses the hint of his smile like he’s gone under a cloud.
He glances at me, and his face softens. “When I do, I’ll have a modern farm with all the best machinery and up-to-date knowledge. I’ll farm without the backbreaking pain and without living on the edge of poverty.”
“You’re not fooling me. You’ll still do the backbreaking work.”
“Maybe.”
He shrugs and turns the car into a gas station and pulls to a stop, shutting the engine. He turns to me. “You have a problem with that?”
I don’t know why he stopped, but my heart gets jittery.
“Will I be there? On your someday farm with you, baking apple pies and looking after the dogs and the barn cat?”
He laughs. “You have a way of painting a pretty picture… Like you.”
He stares at my mouth, concentrates, running his thumb along my bottom lip, playing, as I wait for a few beats of my heart for him to gather his thoughts.
Meeting my eyes finally, he stares at me. “I want you in my life permanently.”
I almost gasp, my heartbeat tripping. I thought he was inviting me to move in with him, but…
“You have a problem with that?”
His voice is a whisper.
I want to burst into tears or burst at the seams into laughter and utter joy, the kind I daydreamed about when I was young and na?ve.
“No, no problem at all.”
My voice shakes. “Does this mean what I think it means?”
“If you think it means we’re getting married, then yes.”
His voice vibrates with emotion as he slips a small cube-shaped box from his pocket and hands it to me. “This was the main reason I needed that signing bonus.”
I screech and laugh and cry all at once, taking the box with trembling, clumsy hands. My heart pounds so hard as I open it, and I gasp. My heart stutters and my mouth opens, mute, as I stare at a marquis diamond solitaire ring winking at me from the satiny cushion.
He leans in, caressing my face, closing my mouth, and touching his lips to mine. “Put it on.”
I do. I pluck the ring from its bed and slide it on my left ring finger in a quick sweep and hold it up to stare. “It’s so beautiful and so big.”
I look at him watching me. “It must have cost?—”
He covers my mouth with a finger to stop me. “It’s worth every penny. You’re worth everything I have.”
Tears spring to my eyes again, and I throw myself into his arms, hugging him and cursing the confined space of Eldy’s car and the stick shift between us. “It’s beautiful and perfect. Just like you.”
Then I move back from him as he nibbles at my mouth. I pull away enough to say something, putting a hand on his strong, stubbled jaw and caressing it as I stare into his eyes.
“I love you, Bryan, so much. You’re everything to me. I love the ring because you gave it to me. I love you because you’re strong and caring and loyal and the most genuine human being I ever met.”
He stares at me, his mask gone, with a loving, vulnerable expression, all his emotions wafting from him and enveloping me, surrounding me with adoration. “And you make me feel special and loved the way you protect me.”
With deliberate care, he takes my face in his hands and lowers his lips to mine. Starting with slow, tender nibbles, he kisses me, deepening to devour my mouth, to taste me with his tongue. I press myself close, heart hammering because this kiss feels life-changing, like we’ve stepped out of a cave into the sunshine and everything is bright and beautiful now and always will be.
He ends the kiss on a shuddering breath, and my giddiness doesn’t fade. I’m sure I look like a foolish girl madly in love because that’s how I feel.
He looks at me with a shadowy smile, almost like he wants to eat me for lunch but not like a wolf, more like a man who wants to savor me, to treasure me.
He stares so long that I say, “What?”
“I can say with all honesty that I’ve never been happier than I am right now. Because of you.”
The tears are back, and I swipe at them, laughing at myself. “Sorry. You’ve made me an emotional mess.”
He takes my hand away from my cheek. “Let the tears be. They’re tears of joy.”
“What about when you got picked in the draft? I bet that made you pretty darn happy.”
I’m half teasing.
He smiles. It’s a new smile that I’ve only seen today, full of tenderness. “No contest.”
I laugh.
He lets go of me with reluctance, checking his watch. “We have to get going now.”
“Where are we going?”
He doesn’t answer me, but I suppose I don’t really care.
Good feelings swirl around in me like I’ve taken some special drug that makes me feel like I’m in heaven.
I reach over, and he takes my hand in his.