19. Diesel
19
DIESEL
T he world around him was dark and black. Well, not black per se, more like a very dark tint of see-through black… Dark, but not so dark that he couldn’t see the world around him.
Tilting his head upward, he stared at the stucco ceiling and wondered if the doctor had it placed on the ceiling herself or if the ceiling came with the bubbly design when she purchased the place. Did she buy the place? Or was she renting?
What are you going on about, you whack job? Perhaps Matteo was right, and you really did need to come see this head doctor, that pain-in-the-ass voice said to him.
He hated that voice. That voice was no fun and always tried to think with his conscience.
“Jiminy. He’s your Jiminy Cricket,” Zero had called it once. His conscience.
Whatever. His conscience was dumb.
“Diesel? Did you hear the question?” a voice asked, interrupting the insightful argument he was having with the voice inside his head.
Turning his head, Diesel let out a sigh, then removed the sunglasses from his face.
Color and light returned to the room around him, and so did a searing headache thanks to last night’s stargazing whiskey fest. Jared didn’t have a clue about his early morning activities, but he got the feeling that perhaps Zero had caught him. If he had, he didn’t say a word.
“What was the question, Doc?” That should buy him a bit of time to formulate a lie.
How are you going to get better if you don’t answer the doc honestly? that pesky voice inside his head interjected.
Like seriously, perhaps he and the doc should have a talk about the inner voices he kept hearing. That had to be some sort of problem. A tumor? Multiple personalities? An unborn twin?
Perhaps she would give him some nice uppers. Something to calm his nerves and make his head all floaty.
Yeah, you’re making really great progress…
Fuck. You. He told the asshole inside his head.
“I asked you what happened after your trial?”
Oh yeah, his big court case, thanks to his mom and stepdad. Thanks to them, he was arrested, charged, and convicted for a crime he didn’t commit.
Deciding that the only way he would be able to keep his promise to Matteo and get better was by telling the doc the truth.
He let out a sigh.
“The judge found me guilty and sentenced me to two years in a young offenders’ institution.”
“That must have been hard on you,” Dr. Bloom noted, seeming sympathetic to what she had just been told. “And what about your parents? How did they react to your conviction?”
Diesel turned his stare back up at the ceiling. His parents. What a joke.
“Don’t know. They never came to court to watch my case. Once the judge made her decision, I was carted off to juvie prison and locked away with all the other outcasts and undesirables.” He felt his jaw clench. Thanks to those assholes, he lost two years of his life.
“What about when they came to visit? Did they ever show remorse or guilt for what they had done?”
“My mom only came once, and I think it was just because she wanted to know what date I was being released. She never apologized or tried to explain why she’d done what she did.”
Diesel felt his throat tighten up. What mother throws her kid to the wolves and then lets them rot in jail?
“That bitch stopped being my mother the day my pops walked out on us.”
“You seem to have a lot of pent-up anger toward your mother.”
“Uh, yeah, ya think? It’s because of that cunt that I’m as fucked up as I am.” Diesel could feel the anger building inside. It wouldn’t take long before it spilled out in some form of destructive event.
“What do you mean?” Dr. Bloom asked, pen tapping her bottom lip.
“It was during my time in jail that I first tried cocaine.”
He glanced over at the doc as he watched her begin to make all the connections.
“It was about three months in when I tried my first bump with my cellmate. There wasn’t much to do in jail besides sit, eat, work out, and jerk off. Getting high at least took your mind off things and was a great way to numb the growing pain you felt inside.”
Silence fell across the room as Diesel let himself process the words he’d just spoken. It was because of his family’s betrayal that he began to distrust all those around him. Family was supposed to be the people who you relied on, who kept you safe in times of need. But not his. His didn’t give a shit about no one.
The pain of betrayal and abandonment had been too much for him to bear, so he tried his best to numb it with drugs and alcohol.
“I think it’s probably best if we end this session here. Give you a chance to refocus and digest what we’ve just discussed here today. It was a great session, Mr. Pratt.”
Diesel sat up in the lounge chair, his psycho chaise , as he liked to call it.
“Any chance at getting Daddy Dearest to remove my kiddie tracker?” Diesel asked, raising his wrist to show off his watch.
Dr. Bloom simply shook her head.
Hey, it was worth a try.
On the way home, he stopped by his favorite deli and bought himself a sandwich. He wasn’t really sure how he was feeling about today’s session. Reliving his past always took a lot out of him. All he ever wanted was to forget that those years ever happened and keep his eyes focused on the future.
When he finally arrived home, it was shortly after one p.m. The house was quiet, and everyone appeared out. He walked up to his room and stopped when he heard strange noises coming from inside Zero’s room.
Was Zero… fucking?
They weren’t grunting sounds or the sound of a headboard banging up against the wall. It was more of a heavy breathing and deep panting.
Perhaps he was having a wank.
A mischievous grin spread across Diesel’s face.
Gripping the knob of Zero’s bedroom door, he gave it a twist before pushing it open with his shoulder.
“If you’re not careful, you’ll go bl—” Then his voice caught in his throat.
All he saw was bare man-ass and balls dangling in front of him.
Was that how he looked while onstage at La Maison?
Was this really what people paid to see whenever they cheered him on onstage?
Once time began to move forward again, the rest of Zero’s body came into focus.
Bent over a yoga mat, Zero appeared to be in some sort of intense yoga position. One that provided the world with full-view access to the man’s partially spread butt cheeks and front-row view of his neatly trimmed balls.
A pair of dull brown eyes popped out from between the man’s thighs, appearing curious about who the sudden intruder was interrupting his private naked stretching time.
“Oh, hey there, sunshine! How’s the weather looking?”
“Umm, what?” Diesel asked, eyes still locked on Zero’s butthole. He swore the thing was winking at him.
“I asked how the weather is?” Zero asked, lifting his head out from between his thighs before turning and bending over backward in some sort of freak-of-nature body-bending bridge formation. The human body was not supposed to bend to that sort of angle.
“Umm, weather? What ?” Flustered, he shook his head. “What the fuck are you doing, man?”
Diesel had seen Teo doing yoga. Hell, he even joined him occasionally. But in all those sessions, they never once involved licking your own nutsack or airing out your asshole.
“I’m doing naked yoga! You’ve never done it before? It’s so relaxing and freeing,” the man said, arching his back even higher, causing his cock to rise up toward the ceiling.
What pervy hell was this bullshit?
Diesel watched the muscles in Zero’s arm, thighs, and stomach all flex and contort. It was a display of pure power and strength.
Damn. The man was fit as sin.
Zero lowered himself down on his mat, still making no attempt to cover himself. And why should he? With a body like that, it should be on display twenty-four seven. Covering it up with anything was just a crime against humanity and decency.
“No, I prefer to keep my junk covered when doing downward-facing doggy.”
A smile crept across Zero’s face. “Well, with a cock like yours, that’s probably safest. Wouldn’t want you accidentally poking out an eye.”
“Still obsessed with my dick, I see.”
“Just making conversation. Plus, you still owe me a blow job.” Zero gave a wink, then stood.
Stalking toward Diesel, Zero made no attempt to cover his junk as it flopped around with each step he took.
Before Diesel knew it, Zero had crossed the room and was standing just inches from his chest.
“Is that why you came into my room? To see if I was ready for that BJ?”
“I came in because it sounded like a pig was squealing, and I wanted to make sure that no farm animals were being harmed.”
“I like to save my squealing for when I’m being pounded hard from behind.”
The wicked smirk on the man’s face left no doubt in Diesel’s mind that Zero loved to take it rough from behind.
Behind his zipper, Diesel felt his cock begin to stir.
“Hmm, looks like someone likes the sound of that,” Zero said, lowering his gaze to where Diesel’s cock was silently betraying him.
His jeans were jutting out, barely able to contain the boner that was raging behind the material. One of the downsides to having a big dick—when you got hard, everyone noticed.
“I don’t do repeat hookups. You had your taste of the Diesel dick. Now it’s time for you to move on.”
Smirking, Zero took a step back before reaching for a pair of shorts. “Yeah, but you haven’t tasted the Z dick yet. That’s one piece of meat that’ll keep you coming back for more.”
“Sure, buddy,” Diesel said with a chuckle. He turned and left the room, this time not stopping until he was safely inside his bedroom.