27. Zero
27
ZERO
T he drive back home was spent talking about their lives. Diesel spoke mostly about his time at La Maison , changing the subject whenever Zero tried to ask him anything about his family. He wasn’t ready to open up about that part of his life. He got it. For now, he would spend the time getting to know Diesel’s present.
“Do you think you’ll ever give up working at the club?” Zero asked, not quite sure if he was crossing a line.
“I’m sure at some point. Nobody wants to see saggy balls and a wrinkly ass dancing around onstage.”
Zero was having trouble getting that mental image out of his head.
“No. I guess you’re right.”
“It’s good money. Where else can you get paid to drink, party, and get your dick sucked?”
“Just about every strip club and whorehouse across Europe,” Zero added teasingly.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But where else can you live in a fucking castle with your best friends and brothers?”
“You got a point. What about your boss? That daddy guy who’s got you grounded?”
Diesel lowered his eyes. “Matteo. He’s the closest thing we all have to a father. Without him, I would have died a long time ago.”
Zero glanced over at Diesel, not wanting to take his eyes off the road for too long. “What do you mean?”
“It was Matteo who found me when I was nineteen years old.” He turned to look out the passenger window, appearing lost in a memory.
Perhaps the topic was too painful to discuss. Zero was just about to change the subject when Diesel began to talk.
“When I was eighteen, I was living on the streets, crashing at whatever place I could find or whichever sugar daddy or mama would take me in for the night. It wasn’t a life that I enjoyed, but it was better than the alternative.”
Zero watched as Diesel turned to look out his window once again.
“I started hanging out with this crew—other street kids who liked to party it up and did what they could to make some extra cash for drugs and booze. Some worked for local drug dealers, selling on corners and getting their fix on the side. Others, like me, took advantage of lonely men and women looking for a bit of attention and willing to pay for the pleasure of my company.” Diesel turned to face Zero once again. “Hey, at least all the money I made went to me and not some drug lord who would beat my ass if I didn’t make his quota.” He turned back to face the window. “Anyway, me and my friends were stupid as fuck. Partying it up when we could, not giving a fuck who we hurt or fucked over in the process. I was convinced that they were my crew. My family. The people I could trust to have my back if something went wrong.”
Diesel began playing with the fabric of his cheesy gym shorts. His body was tense, and he looked uncomfortable talking about his past.
Zero reached across the seat and placed his hand on his thigh. “You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready.”
Turning, Diesel gave Zero a half smile.
It looked like he wanted to talk about it, but just needed a reassuring hand letting him know that it was okay to open up to him. Zero got the sense it wasn’t often that Diesel let people in.
“No, it’s fine. Just makes me hate myself sometimes when I think about the past.”
Diesel lifted his hand and placed it over the top of Zero’s. Their fingers intertwined, and Diesel resumed his story.
“Anyway, so one night, I was partying with this dude who paid me five hundred pounds to suck me off. Hey, it was easy cash, plus I needed the money. After I left his motel, I hit up a buddy for some coke and K. Back then, I liked to mix coke with ketamine; yes, I know mixing them was stupid and dangerous, but no one thinks about that when you're eighteen and living on the streets. Anyway, after that score, I was feeling good and decided to party it up with my friends down in the park. At some point, I must have gone into a K-hole and passed out without realizing it. When I woke up, my friends and cash were gone, and I was lying on the ground shaking. I don’t even know when I passed out again or when Matteo found me, but I woke up the next morning in the hospital with an IV bag hooked up to my arm.
“Do you know that the damn guy stayed with me in the hospital for three days? He kept bringing me magazines and chocolate and asking if there was anyone who I wanted him to get in touch with. I think by the third day, he finally realized that I was all alone.”
Hoping to provide him with comfort, Zero rubbed gentle circles with his thumb.
“Once I was finally feeling better, M asked if I wanted to come stay with him for a while, just until I was able to get back on my feet. Of course, I thought the guy was just perving on me and trying to get me to drop my pants, but what did I have to lose? When we arrived at the chateau, he escorted me to my room and made it very clear that he was not interested in anything sexual. He was just trying to help someone who looked like they could use a hand at the moment.
“Matteo really did save me that day in the park. The doctor said that my heart rate was dangerously high, given all the drugs that I had been mixing. And it was a good thing that Matteo found me when he did.”
Diesel was back to looking out the window once again.
“So that’s how he found me. Don’t judge me. I was working through a lot of things in my head back then. I still am.”
“Is that why you’re seeing a shrink?”
Diesel’s head snapped around.
“You know about that?”
“It’s not that big of a secret around the house. I hear Jared and Chase talking about it all the time. He’s worried about you, you know. He scared you’re going to lose control and overdose sometime.” There was no judgment in his voice, only worry and concern.
Diesel lowered his head. “Yeah, I know. I owe it to the guys to work out the shit that’s rolling around inside my head.”
Zero gave Diesel’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I hope you know that I’m here for you whenever you need me. Just say the word, and I’ll be there.”
Diesel nodded. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that.”
They arrived back at the house just after six in the evening. They made a few pit stops along the way, some to grab food, some to check out things Diesel kept spotting along the way.
Zero had decided to take the scenic route home. He wasn’t in a rush to get back to the house, and to be honest, he was kind of liking the one-on-one alone time with his grumbly ray of sunshine.
Who would have guessed that Diesel was into stained glass? While driving through a small town, they came across a little farmhouse where the owner made stained glass pictures and other small trinkets. Of course they had to stop inside.
Lost in the sea of artwork, Diesel kept eyeing a particular stained glass picture of an old church sitting in front of one of the most beautiful sunsets Zero had ever seen. There was something about the colors—purples, oranges, reds, and greens. They were all mixed together as if supporting one another to create one of the most spectacular views imaginable.
When it was clear that Diesel had no intention of buying the picture for himself, Zero waited until he went to use the bathroom before discreetly purchasing the item and shoving it into the trunk of their rental. He would give it to Diesel once they got back home.
“Hold up a sec?” Zero asked, just as Diesel was about to walk up the pathway when they got back home. There were no driveways, so everyone had to use street parking.
Zero reached into the trunk, pulled out the tissue-wrapped picture, and handed it to the confused young man.
“What’s this?” Diesel asked, taking the item and flipping it around in his hand.
“I saw you staring at it in the shop and couldn’t figure out why you wouldn’t buy it. So I did.”
Pulling the paper away, piece by piece, Diesel unwrapped the item and gasped when he realized what it was.
“But… why?”
The question was innocent enough, but it still caught him off guard.
“Because… I wanted to.” That was the truth. He saw something that appeared to make Diesel happy, and he wanted to always see that look on the growly young man’s face.
People didn’t realize how good-looking Diesel was when he wasn’t scowling or busy insulting your ass.
“Zero… I—” He paused, staring down at the gift, seeming lost for words. “Thank you. This was really nice of you.”
Now it was Zero’s turn to be stunned when Diesel wrapped his arms around him and gave him a hug.
What. Was. Happening?
“Tell anyone that I’m hugging you, and I’ll stab you in the neck,” Diesel whispered into his ear.
Ahh, that was more like it. Diesel wasn’t himself if he wasn’t making smart-ass comments or threatening to stab your ass.
Zero hugged him back with one arm.
“You boys done boning? I want to hear about your trip,” Jared shouted from the living room window.
Always the gentleman.
Groaning, Diesel pulled away and headed inside.
When they entered the house, Chase was huddled over his laptop at the kitchen table while Jared was flipping through the TV.
“Want a pop?” Jared asked, holding up a can of soda.
They both shook their heads. They had been snacking and drinking sodas the whole drive home. Zero wanted nothing more than to hit the gym and eat something healthy for a change.
“So, how did it go?” Chase asked, walking into the living room.
“I’m going to review the footage tonight, and I’ll let you know,” Zero responded, hoping that was the end of the conversation. It wasn’t.
“What do you mean, let me know? What did you guys see last night? Did the doc meet with anybody?”
“I’m not sure,” Zero choked out, not really sure how to respond to his boss.
“It’s a simple question. What did you guys see? Did he meet with anybody? Was he there fucking some chick? Some dude? What?”
Chase’s cheeks were beginning to flush, the more annoyed he became. The one thing that Chase didn’t have patience for was beating around the bush.
“I don’t know. I didn’t see,” Zero responded a little more aggressively than he intended to. He wasn’t about to throw Diesel under the bus. Chase could hold his horses and wait until he was done reviewing the footage to get his friggin’ report.
“You guys fell asleep, didn’t you?” Chase asked, placing his hands on his waist and planting his feet firmly on the floor. “Fuck. I knew I shouldn’t have sent you guys.”
“Hey!” Diesel shouted, startling all three of them. “It’s not his fault.”
“Diesel, don’t,” Zero began.
“No, Zero,” Diesel said, eyes glaring at him. “It was my fault.”
A huff escaped Chase’s lips, sending murderous rage coursing through Zero’s veins. Who the fuck was this guy to huff about Diesel?
“Of course it is. What fuckup did you do this time?” Chase growled, turning his angry eyes toward his future brother-in-law.
“He didn’t fuck up. He got sick,” Zero interjected. There was no way he was letting Chase make the poor guy feel bad for getting food poisoning.
“You got sick?” Chase asked, his voice suddenly showing a hint of concern.
“Yeah, I got food poisoning from that damn gas station sandwich I ate.”
Jesus Christ, D, keep your friggin’ mouth shut. Zero ground his teeth. It’s like he enjoyed throwing himself in front of flying bullets.
“You got sick from a gas station sandwich?”
Oh, here comes the lecture.
“Who the fuck eats deli meat from a gas station?” Chase shouted, raising his arms in disbelief.
Diesel just stood there, eyes fixed on the floor in front of him. He knew he fucked up. But either way, he didn’t deserve to get reamed out for something he couldn’t control.
“That’s enough,” Zero shouted, stepping in front of Diesel and throwing his own hands on his hips. Two could play at that game. “I set up a camera to surveil his room, so I am going to go watch the footage now. I’ll let you know when I have something.”
He turned and grabbed Diesel by the arm.
“Come, you’re helping me go through the footage.”
Zero stormed up the stairs, not bothering to look back over his shoulder. His boss could go suck a dick until he was done.