28. Tru
CHAPTER 28
TRU
T hen
“Oh my God!”
She stood in place with one hand over her heart, and the other sternly placed on the breakfast table, supporting her weight. I sensed that her composure was buckling, though she portrayed otherwise.
“Do you feel any remorse? Because you don’t get to pretend to.”
“I love him,” she simply stated.
My eyes instantly widened. “So… that makes it okay?” The fact that his dick can’t stay in his pants. How can you let him do this to you?”
Her eyes widened.
I never spoke to her this way, but this was my last straw. I couldn’t deal with these people anymore. They were insane.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done to me? Do you even care?”
I sucked in air and disgustingly shook my head. “You have no idea what you’ve done to my life! It was so much easier for you to ignore me and keep pretending that your marriage means something to all these high society people when we both know it’s a joke.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Our marriage isn’t a scam,” she justified, but it meant nothing.
Nothing that came out of her mouth really did, did it?
I took a much-needed breath. “This is seriously messed up, and you’ve been pretending to live in this perfect fake little fairy tale you’ve created for everyone to see when it’s just a smokescreen.” I wrapped my arms around my body, suddenly feeling more cold and alone than I’d felt in my entire life, and that was saying something. Vaughan. I needed Vaughan. He’d become my shelter, my comfort, my home. This, with Sandra and her lies? Was not my home. It would never be.
“That’s enough,” he roared from behind me.
I closed my eyes, hearing his voice.
I waited for the storm to wash over me.
I was sitting in the eye of it, awaiting the mass destruction that would wreak havoc on my being. It would take me right along with it, and I would let it.
I turned around and looked deep into his broken eyes that mirrored mine.
Vaughan.
He didn’t know.
I couldn’t tell him.
He wiped away my tears, and only then did I realize I was crying.
“I’m so sorry, Van.” That was all I could express.
I felt like I was standing in quicksand, and it was taking me under, along with anyone with me.
Love was blind.
Love was selfish.
Love made us stupid.
L-O-V-E, a four-letter word that meant something different to everyone.
All sides of love .
The different shades and colors.
“You knew all along?” he asked.
I could only nod. “I walked in on them last week.”
“So you knew all the shit, them, my dad, and never said anything?”
Sandra chose that moment to walk out of the room like she didn’t just wreck me and throw a cataclysmic bomb onto Vaughan’s and my relationship.
And I couldn’t stand the expression on his face.
It wasn’t filled with love and adoration, the look I’d gotten used to after so many times of whatever we’d been doing.
Now his eyes read something between the lines of distrust and hate.
Vaughan
Tru nodded her head. “I was planning on telling you tonight, actually. I was scared and worried. I’d walked in on them like within a week of getting here. You guys have different rules! Obviously! I mean, look at what Phoebe did to Sam! Just because he’s a foster kid? Or because he’s poor? He was on his knees!”
Vaughan jerked back like I’d slapped him. “Are you actually comparing me to Phoebe right now?”
“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m just saying, I didn’t know you well enough to suddenly be like oh, guess what I saw! Plus, would you have even believed me?”
I wouldn’t have wanted to, no. But she should have at least told me that my dad wasn’t my real dad. Shame chose that weak moment to shift into anger, anger directed at her as if it was her fault, but I needed someone to blame, to project all of this shit onto. “I would have believed you because I love you, but I guess even love isn’t enough for some things. Am I even good enough for you now that you know?”
Of course I chose that moment to tell her I loved her for the first time…
There were so many times I could have said it to her when it wouldn’t be in the memory of such a jaded and fucked-up night.
I did love her.
A lot.
In fact, I think she was the first woman I’d ever truly cared for. This was why her deceit hurt so bad. I couldn’t trust anyone just 'cause of who I was, and I hated that now she was added to the endless list of bullshit people.
Her eyes narrowed, almost as if she was thinking the same thing I was.
Before she could acknowledge what I actually confessed, she asked, “What the hell are you talking about?”
Did she purposely bypass the fact that what our parents are doing also set off a domino effect of my entire life falling apart? Not knowing who my real dad was? I felt like an orphan at that moment.
Betrayed.
Hurt.
And she wasn’t comforting me, nor was she admitting anything.
They said she knew.
“Tell me everything you know,” I whispered, voice shaking.
“All I know is that Sandra and your dad have been together for a while, like a long time, and that your mom and Sandra’s husband just look the other way.”
She stopped talking.
“That’s it? That’s all you know?”
She hesitated just briefly, then nodded. “That’s all I know.”
I couldn’t continue to look at her. Not when it was messing with my mind on whether she was lying to me or not.
Why would she lie?
Why would my father and her foster mother?
What the hell was happening?
I didn’t know which way was up, down, left, or right. Everything felt like it was going around in a slow but fast circle, with my impending doom suffocating me.
Before I said something I’d regret, I stated, “I’m going to go for a drive. I need to think. I need to…” I shook my head and walked off disappointed, making every step heavier than the last.
I loved her.
That much I did know.