19. Ronan
19
RONAN
F inn and I climb in my car and head toward the pub. From what I gather based on what he's told me just now, our hunt has been successful. I sent my men, including my brothers, out on a mission—destroy Eamon in any way possible. So far, we've taken out a few of his men but without much success. He's good at hiding, I'll give him that.
"So tell me what I’m looking at…" My grumble aimed at my younger brother isn't meant to be an indication of my mood toward him. I'm finding myself facing battles on every front, even in my private time with Maeve. I want so badly to give her what she wants, but the things she'll have to do to prove her loyalty to the family in order to take that pledge are things she won't be willing to do.
On top of that, she would never forgive me if we did things the way this family normally does. I held Dr. Butcher's life in my hand. He was a faithful and loyal man because I know how to leverage things, like his lovely wife and three grandchildren. He knew if he breathed a word to anyone, I'd have slaughtered his family. It's how this game works. And it’s the only way to obtain true loyalty from those who haven't joined this family willingly.
Maeve has her mother, but I care about her. There isn't any way I could put a gun to her mother's head to coerce her into silence. I stare at the road ahead knowing Maeve will never love me for me. She still thinks of me as a monster and a maniac. If I were to threaten her family to purchase her silence, there would be no point in letting her return to her normal life. I will have lost the only thing about her that I want—her willingness to see me for the man I really am and to want me in spite of it.
I will have become the monster she believes me to truly be.
"Three of Eamon's men down… Aiden was shot, but it's not bad. He's off with the vet now. Just a round to the thigh. He'll be good as new next week. And Declan has one of Eamon's top guys at the pub ready for us to interrogate him. Word on the street is Eamon got your warning off Shane's corpse. He didn't make it to the drop…"
This is the first I've heard this, but it doesn't surprise me. Shane was in bad shape when I was done with him. Hell, he was in bad shape before he got to me. The man ought to have known better than to side with my enemy. The strength behind my authority has never been challenged, not even when it was my father's post. This city belongs to me, and I won't let anyone take it or divide my people.
"Have you heard a report on Butcher? What was the go with that?" I glance in the distance, noticing a bright glow on the horizon. I wonder what it's from, but my eyes can't distinguish it and Finn starts talking to me. I turn to look at him as he drives.
"Lochlan says Butcher was a hit by Eamon as well. He has people sitting on your house, Ro. Says the doc visited your home and was a threat to his plan, so they took him out. It's shit. Butcher was a good man. He didn't deserve that."
I clench my jaw as my brother speaks. He's right. Dr. Butcher was a good man. Even though we figuratively had a gun to his head, he did his best to serve us. We paid him well and he was a faithful servant. His wife wasn't happy about it, but they lived in luxury thanks to my good treatment in exchange for loyalty, and men like that are few and far between. This new doctor I have is already proving to be a little difficult. If she doesn't straighten up, she'll earn the cement boots the hard way.
Now I have such a mess on my hands, little annoying things I shouldn't have to deal with. Eamon is being a flea on my fucking back, and I hate him for it. I'm beginning to realize the only way to destroy him is to destroy anyone who even doubts my leadership, but that thought haunts me. I know my brother, two years my junior, has entertained Eamon's lies, not recently, but my suspicions have been riled. And Connor… the youngest… I'm not sure what to do with him.
If I have to extinguish even the faintest ember of Eamon's influence, it may mean doing something Lochlan and Finn will hate me for, and will they turn against me too? And what will Maeve think if I slaughter my own blood? My chest tenses as I stare out the window at the horizon glowing and swallow the knot in my throat.
My phone starts to ring and at the same time, Finn's phone buzzes too. It can't be good. I reach into my pocket and pull my phone out, seeing it's Declan. My eyes flick to Finn's face as I bring the phone to my ear and answer it.
"It's Ronan, speak." I turn back to the horizon where now I'm beginning to see the light dancing. Finn turns that direction, and the faintest hint of smoke on the air puts my senses on alert. It's not a glow. It's a fire.
"Ro, it's the pub. Get here now." Declan sounds furious, and the pieces fall into place.
"The fire?" I ask, and before he answers, I know what he'll say.
"The Pub… Benny's in there." I hear the shouts of men in the background barking orders, some woman screaming, and what sounds like the roar of a windstorm. I know it's the crackle of flames before Finn makes one last turn and the pub comes into view.
Declan hangs up, and my hand drops to my lap with my phone clutched in it. The pub is almost gone. I can make out the frame of the building, but there are so many flames licking up the wood and glass, there's no way anyone could get inside to save my cousin if they tried. My heart clenches, then rage bursts to the surface and I almost swing the door open to get out before Finn is fully stopped.
He slams the car into park, and I'm on the move already, running to the front line where firefighters hold hoses on the neighboring buildings to keep them from sparking. Even if I wanted to run in there and drag Benny out, one glance at what's happening proves there would be no point. At thirty meters away, the fire is so hot it scorches my skin.
"Fuck," I grunt, and one of the nearby garda presses a hand to my chest.
"Sir, you're going to have to back up." The man is large, but not nearly my size. I could overpower him in a second, but for what? Benny is gone. There's no saving him. Eamon has destroyed our family home and torn us apart. I let the garda push me back and shake my head, running a hand through my hair.
"Benny…" I say, uttering his name as a token of my anger toward my cousin and my promise to avenge Benny's life. The image of me putting a gun to Eamon's head and seeing his brains splatter on the wall is so vivid, I can't get past it. I focus on it as I turn and walk back toward my brothers in a daze. They're all here now, plus a few of my cousins and other distant relatives. Benny's woman is screaming and sobbing, begging anyone to go pull him out. There are more garda holding her back.
"Ro…" Declan has such angst in his eyes. I meet his gaze, knowing there has even been a trace of desire to put Eamon in charge of this family in his thoughts, and pull my gun, pointing it directly at his head. His hands shoot up in surrender, and I see both Finn and Connor reach for their guns, but they're wise enough not to pull them.
"Do you see now?" I ask him. Anger radiates off me, hotter than the fire that is destroying what we stand for. "Do you see why Eamon cannot be the leader?" I stalk toward my brother with my gun pointed at his head. "Do you see why even his own father advocated for my leadership?" I'm so angry I could pull the trigger right now.
"Ro," Finn says, and I can't even look at him. Declan and Connor were both close to Eamon at one point. Both of them felt sympathy for his plight, and neither of them saw what he's capable of. But they're seeing it now. Connor and Benny were like brothers. I don't need to tell him how to feel. Eamon stole this from us all, and I'm beyond livid.
"Ronan," Declan says, taking a step back. He shakes his head, and I'm not done.
"Look at it," I tell him, clicking the safety off. "Do you see how he would lead? Do you see the murderous intent in this action? Do you think Father would want this? Is this how he would lead?" I'm on the verge of snapping, of being just like Eamon, which is something I never want to be. I never want to prove I’m that man Maeve is terrified of.
"I see," Declan says, dropping his head. "I see…"
For a second, I stand there shaking, ready to prove to everyone that I will do what it takes to protect this family. Anyone who crosses me will have the same fate as Eamon the instant I have the chance. Then I lower my weapon and put the safety on, then shove it down my waistband.
"We're not going to stand here taking this. We're going to hunt." I turn around and see my brothers still tense, but no longer reaching for their weapons. "We can't do anything here. Connor, go to his woman. The rest of you, to your cars. We're going after the bastard."
In seconds, we're moving toward our vehicles. There's only one thing on my mind as I stalk through the darkness, and that's revenge. No more planning and sending others out to do what I'm supposed to be doing. I've spent so much time trying to convince Maeve I'm not who she thinks I am, and I've not been taking care of my family how I ought to have. Now Benny is dead, and I take the full blame for that. He shouldn’t be gone, because I should've smashed Eamon like a bug by now.
Finn and I head to my car. Lochlan, Declan, and a few of my cousins head toward theirs. We are almost there when a car drives past quickly, squealing tires and opening fire. One of Eamon's men, or maybe Eamon himself, screams profanities at the O'Rourke name, and several shots pepper the entire scene, endangering not only my family's lives, but the lives of first responders and a few innocent bystanders come to watch the fire burn.
Before I can even pull my weapon, I feel the sting of a bullet on my chest again and drop to the ground. It's the same searing pain I felt when I was shot inside the pub months ago, the same flash of my life passing before my eyes. I clamp my hand down on my left shoulder, only inches above where I was shot before, and while I know it's not likely fatal, it's definitely enough to keep me pinned to this ground, unable to lift my own fucking weapon.
I hear the squeal of more tires and know Declan and Lochlan have taken chase, and the report of gunfire in the distance tells me they're on the case.
"Shit, Ronan, not again," Finn grunts, and he rolls me over. "Fuck's sake."
I try to sit up and push him away and say, "It's just a flesh wound. Get me in the car. I'll be fine."
But Finn defies my orders. It's the only time he's ever attempted to rebel, and I can't hold it against him. He's doing my job for me.
"No, Ro. You won't be fine if you bleed out. I have to get you to the doc now." He rips off his sleeve and presses it against the wound, glancing around. "I have to do it fast."
I weakly reach up and grip the wadded-up material against my bleeding shoulder and wince at the pain as he hoists me off the ground. Our doctor is worthless and too afraid to do anything besides treat colds. I need Maeve for this, and she'll just have to do her job for me. Though I hate that she'll see me like this again. I want her to see I'm not this. This isn't my life. But I keep proving to her that it is.
"Take me home, Finn," I order, and as he wrestles me into the car and looks down at me, I see the hesitance in his expression. "Dr. Walsh will do this."
I rest my head against the headrest and close my eyes. Finn shuts the door as I hold his torn shirt to my wound, and then he drives. I feel nauseous as the car bumps over the road and I struggle to stay conscious due to pain, but when I look down at the wound, I know it's not bleeding as badly as Finn thinks. Maeve can fix this easily, but I should be out on the hunt.
But maybe this is what I need to do right now. Maybe Finn is protecting me from something worse. I know in my weakened state, Eamon would destroy me. I have to be careful what I do, and Finn is only trying to help.
But this isn't over.
If Declan and Loch come back without Eamon's head, I'm going to make a plan to go out and get it myself. He won't get away with this.