Chapter 17 #2
‘Oh god no, he points out all the historic and scientific inaccuracies. Apparently most of the dinosaurs are cretaceous not Jurassic, the velociraptors are too big in the films, we now know that a lot of the dinosaurs had feathers not scaly skin – and that’s not in the films – and the possibility of creating all these dinosaurs from one mosquito when the DNA would have degraded over millions of years anyway is completely implausible. ’
Immy laughed. ‘He certainly knows his stuff.’
‘He does and I’m so incredibly proud of him and his extensive knowledge of all dinosaurs and fossils and what he does now bringing this knowledge to schools, museums and exhibitions. But these kinds of movies are made for the drama and excitement factor, not to be scientifically accurate.’
‘That’s true.’
Xander chewed his lip as he got the movie ready.
He hadn’t said the words he needed to say to her.
He’d brought her back over here and made love to her, and she’d stroked him and told him she loved him again and again and he couldn’t say the words back.
He hated that. He felt like he needed to get this right.
He’d screwed it up too many times with her and this was too important to get it wrong.
He felt like he needed the right words, the right moment.
Although if making love to her while she stroked him and told him she loved him wasn’t the right time, then what was?
She’d said he didn’t need to say it back but it must have hurt her that he didn’t.
He would fix this, he would find the right time, the right words to tell her how much she meant to him, how she had changed his life irrevocably for the better.
Xander placed a kiss on her head and pressed play on the movie. Suddenly there was a ringing on the doorbell.
‘I swear, if that is one of my brothers again, there will be hell to pay,’ Xander said, getting up to answer it.
Immy giggled. ‘Maybe it’s Archer. He somehow knew we were about to watch Jurassic Park and felt compelled to come round and tell us the truth.’
Xander rolled his eyes; he wouldn’t put it past his brother.
‘Hello?’ Xander called through the intercom, as he peered at the camera. It looked like it had been raining and there was a big blob of water over the lens of the camera so he couldn’t really see who it was.
‘It’s Margaret and Tom,’ came Margaret’s voice over the intercom.
He frowned. Surely they weren’t bringing Etta back already, she’d only been gone a few hours. They were the ones who’d offered to take her for the night, why offer if they didn’t want to do that?
‘Is everything OK?’ Xander asked.
‘Not really,’ Margaret said. ‘Can we come up and have a chat?’
He pressed the button to release the main door. When he heard them come upstairs, he opened the door to the flat and was surprised to see that it was just the two of them, no sign of Etta.
‘Where is she?’
‘She’s in the car. She’s fine, well she’s not, but she’s not hurt or anything,’ Tom said.
‘What do you mean, she’s not fine?’ Xander said, shoving his feet into his boots.
‘She’s a little upset,’ Tom said.
‘A little? She’s inconsolable,’ Margaret said.
Xander moved to go past them but Tom put his hand up to stop him. ‘We need to talk first.’
‘Is this because you’ve got bored of her again and brought her back early? You have to stop doing this, she was looking forward to spending the night with you. You can’t just change your mind, it hurts her and disappoints her.’
‘No, it’s nothing like that,’ Tom sighed.
‘We might have made a mistake. She was telling us all about Immy and the baby and she said that Logan wanted you to take a paternity test for Immy’s baby.
’ Immy came out into the hall and Tom looked at her, accusingly.
‘Is that because you don’t know who the father is? ’
‘No, the baby is mine,’ Xander said, firmly. ‘Logan had doubts but I never did.’
Tom didn’t look convinced. ‘Well anyway, she said that she might get one done to find out if you’re really her dad. But that you didn’t want her to.’
‘That’s not entirely true. We discussed it, I feel it’s better she finds out the truth when she’s older and she has a better understanding of it.
She doesn’t fully comprehend the biology yet of how a baby is made.
She doesn’t get that one minute I was her dad and then suddenly I might not be.
She’s going to be much better equipped to deal with that revelation when she’s more mature. ’
Tom and Margaret looked at each other awkwardly. ‘Well.’ Tom cleared his throat. ‘That’s where we might have messed up.’
Xander frowned. ‘What are you not telling me?’
‘Brook had a paternity test done a few weeks before she died,’ Margaret said.
Xander felt physically sick. ‘Please tell me you didn’t share the results with Etta.’
‘We thought she had a right to know,’ Tom said. ‘We asked her if she wanted to know and she said yes.’
‘She’s six years old. If you asked her if she wanted to eat ice cream ten times a day she’d say yes, doesn’t mean you’d give it to her. For crying out loud, what were you thinking?’
‘Don’t take that tone with me,’ Tom said defensively.
‘Shall I go and get her?’ Immy said.
‘Yes, I don’t want her sitting in the car by herself, feeling so lost and confused,’ Xander said.
Immy pulled on her shoes and coat and disappeared out the door.
Xander pushed his hands through his hair. ‘I can’t believe you did this. She is my daughter, I get to decide what’s best for her, not you. Why the hell did you do it?’
‘Well, she’s not technically your daughter. We are her blood relatives, not you,’ Tom said.
Xander waited for the pain of that to hit him but it didn’t.
He’d already made peace with the fact that Etta probably wasn’t his biological daughter a long time ago, but it made no difference to how he felt for her.
He’d always known that he would love her regardless.
It had hurt him at the time that Brook had made her announcement, he’d been devastated.
He couldn’t feel that pain again now he knew for sure.
She was still his daughter and nothing would change that.
‘She has been my daughter since before she was even born, I don’t have to share her DNA to actually be her dad. You should have talked about this with me. Not taken it upon yourself to upend her entire world.’
Tom tried to stand firm. ‘I don’t think—’
‘That’s just it, you didn’t think. What did she say when she found out?’ Xander said.
‘She started crying and sobbing and didn’t stop,’ Margaret said. ‘She said that now you’re having a baby that really is yours then you won’t love her anymore.’
‘Christ, I should have been there when she found out so I could reassure her that the truth changes nothing, nor does me having another baby. You have no idea how long and how hard I’ve worked to build up her confidence again after Brook destroyed her.
How scared and worried she feels about the possibility of me leaving her too.
I have had to reassure her every single damn day that I love her, that I’m never leaving her, that she will always be my daughter. You’ve ruined everything.’
‘We are so sorry,’ Margaret said.
‘No, we’re not. It’s you having another baby that’s upset her, not us,’ Tom said.
‘Oh, do stop talking out of your ass Tom,’ Margaret snapped. ‘Take some damned responsibility for your actions for once.’
Xander heard footsteps on the stairs as someone, probably Etta, thundered up them. He opened the door to see Immy, pale and shaken and out of breath.
‘She’s gone,’ Immy said, struggling to talk.
‘What do you mean, she’s gone?’
‘I got down to the car and saw it was empty and the back door was open. I looked around and saw her running down the street. I chased after her but she was too far away to catch up. I shouted to her and she didn’t look back.
She disappeared round a corner and by the time I’d got there she was gone. ’