Chapter 8 Samir
Iclosed the book and almost threw it on the floor. Not that I would ever commit such sacrilege. But I was getting really frustrated.
It had been a week. A full freaking week since the hot dad by the name of Cole had walked into Books and Claws. And, apparently, he’d walked out of there with my brain along with his selection of picture books. Because I hadn’t stopped thinking of him all week.
No, no. Not just thinking of him. Watching for him. Waiting for him. Staring at the bell above the door, waiting for it to jingle and usher him in like my knight in shining armor.
So yeah. I’d lost it this past week. There was no denying that. Even the girls had noticed, and they were usually pretty into each other to notice my mood swings.
“What am I going to do?” I asked Grumpy, who glanced at me but quickly turned away and resumed his sleep, even grumpier now that I’d disturbed the warm quiet of the house with my voice.
I set the advance Hudson Bell copy down and picked up my phone.
I knew I had to do something when even a Hudson Bell enemies-to-lovers wasn’t helping me escape. Not that I knew where to start or how. Though I was pretty sure if the girls were here, they’d tell me I needed to get some and would force-download Cinderfella on my phone.
Since I didn’t want to include them in this self-pitying-slash-whatever-the-hell-this-obsession-was, I resorted to downloading it myself.
It had been a long while since I’d tried using it, but of course my incomplete profile greeted me back as soon as I tapped into the app, making me cringe with the kind of stuff I’d written before.
I held the X button until the silly quote about love was completely erased and read through the rest of my ramblings and settings. My head started pounding at all the questions I needed to answer, and just looking at the empty photo album gave me heart palpitations.
“I’m gonna need a drink for this,” I told Grumpy, but my comment went ignored.
As I approached the kitchen, a black furball zoomed past me and shot up the kitchen island, meowing up a storm at me.
“Really, Spooks? You’re begging for more food? You just ate, you little greedy guts!” I came up close to scratch under the black cat’s neck only to realize it was Salem. “Gosh, you two. Could you look any more similar? Don’t think I’ll be tricked. You’ve eaten too.”
Salem leaned into my touch and rubbed himself all over my hand, turning on the motor, and I had no choice but to pet him to his heart’s content. Even though it wasn’t going to make me give him any more food than he already had.
“Why can’t men be more like cats?” I asked Salem. “You guys seem to find me every other day.”
Even Salem looked at me weird at that comment, but thankfully the stare of judgment didn’t last long as Spooks jumped up the counter too, probably to demand his own share of affection and food, but Salem decided it was the right time to play-fight with his brother, so they ran off, chasing each other and yowling like the bastards they could be.
I put the kettle on, and once my tea was done, I returned to my sofa where Grumpy was still sleeping and resumed my Cinderfella stint.
When I reached the “looking for” section, I almost gagged at my own past crudeness and ticked off the Right Now option. My finger hovered over the relationship option, but did I really want to advertise I was on the market when I didn’t even know if I’d have the guts to go on a date?
“Fuck it,” I mumbled and ticked the See Where It Goes option, and lastly, uploaded a profile picture from a year ago. When I didn’t look so gray and tired.
It was a simple smiley photo. Not suggestive, nor too flashy. It should attract the right kind of guys.
Or at the very least provide some sort of distraction from this mental hold Cole had on me for no fucking reason.
Once I set my profile to active, I put the phone down, took a deep breath, sipped my apple cinnamon tea, and gave Grumpy’s ass a scratch. He looked at me with a face of total indignation, but he arched his butt back and purred at me.
“I know you love me, even if your face doesn’t show it,” I told him.
Bloop.
My phone screen lit up, and I put my tea down so I could check the notification that had popped up. Someone had messaged me on Cinderfella.
“Already?” I asked no one in particular, and I unlocked the phone to check the message.
Hornee4U: Hello handsome.
I almost smiled at the first message, but then another one immediately followed up.
Hornee4U: I’d love to fill that beard with my cum.
“Ew! Gross!” I shivered. “Does this dude know how hard it is to get cum out of hair?” I turned to Grumpy, but he seemed to have made an escape.
Either I’d committed the ultimate sin and had stopped scratching him, or even he’d been creeped out by Hornee4U’s messages.
Before I could even delete the guy, a photo came through. A photo of his dick.
“Yeah, no thanks,” I muttered and blocked him.
What was wrong with people? Couldn’t they wait for approval before flashing everyone their dick?
I sighed and started to put the phone down when another notification arrived.
Richard64: You’re cute.
Richard64: I’d love to sit on that face!
“Oh my God!” I blocked Richard64 before he sent me a picture of his butthole or something. “Well, this was a bad idea.”
And the longer I sat there, watching the messages crawl through from both the out and closeted population of Mayberry Holm and beyond, the more my belief was confirmed.
Because I’d received no less than ten dick pics, three hole pics, a cumshot, and an even creepier video of someone coming all over my profile picture on his phone.
“Gosh. Why are men so disgusting?” I asked no one in particular and downed the last dregs of my tea. I deactivated my profile and deleted the Cinderfella app again.
I didn’t know what was wrong with those people that they couldn’t even bother to strike up a conversation, but I knew that wasn’t how I wanted to meet a guy. Not even a hookup.
“All I wanted was a distraction,” I groaned, sinking into the couch wishing it would swallow me up.
As Grumpy returned to his sleeping spot—he could probably sense the creeps had been banished from the room—I turned to him and gave him all the attention he craved but pretended not to care for.
“I guess it did distract me,” I whispered.
I’d been so busy cringing and gagging I hadn’t even thought of Cole.
I sighed and closed my eyes. He’d never be like that. I couldn’t imagine him taking pictures of his dick and sending it to all the boys in his perimeter. I definitely couldn’t imagine such a sweet, gentle guy typing out such crude, lewd things that could make someone throw up.
No.
He wasn’t like that. I was sure of it. I mean, I wasn’t sure of anything. For all I knew, he was the kinkiest motherfucker around, but I guessed the Cole in my head and the Cole in real life were two very different people.
If only there was a way to cast out this imaginary, perfect Cole out of my mind so I could get some peace.
Bzzz!
I glared at my phone and swallowed a knot in my throat. Was it coming alive? Had it re-downloaded the app? Was it going to haunt me with more dick pics and horrifying suggestions?
Damn it. Halloween was over a month ago.
Bzzz!
The phone stayed still, and I slowly picked it up. The screen lit up, empty of notifications.
Bzzz! Bzzz!
I looked to my left and breathed a sigh of relief. Putting my phone down, I got up and walked to my buzzer.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Sami? Open up. It’s freezing out here.” Zay’s voice came through the intercom.
“Zay? You have no idea how glad I am to hear your voice,” I told her.
“Well, can you show it by letting us the fuck in?”
“Oh. Yeah. Sorry.” I bit my lip and pressed the button that opened the door downstairs.
Minutes later, Zainab and Alina climbed up the stairs and glared at me.
“What? What’s wrong?” I looked around, fully expecting to see a guy with his dick out, but of course I wasn’t in a horror movie, so there was no one here but me and my cats.
“Why aren’t you dressed?” Zay asked.
“I am?”
“You’re wearing PJs. Is he seriously wearing PJs?” Alina asked her girlfriend.
“What should I be wearing to go to bed?”
Alina grimaced.
“I don’t know, dude. You’re forty. Maybe just your pants?”
“It’s freezing. Are you kidding me?” I told her.
“Um… can we forget about the pajamas? Why aren’t you ready yet?” Zainab reached the top of the stairs, and I realized she was wearing the sparkly salmon-colored hijab, and her face was fully made up.
“Are you going somewhere?” I asked.
She turned to Alina and sighed. “I told you he’d bail.”
“Bail? Bail from what?”
Alina took Zainab’s hand to climb the last few steps and she caught her breath for a moment.
“The bachelor auction, dude! You promised us you’ll go,” she panted.
“The what?” I asked before it hit me, and it was my turn to groan. “Oh my God. Were you being serious about that?”
“Yeah!” they both shouted, causing me to jump.
“Oh come on, girls. I’m not in the mood,” I said.
“You’re never in the mood,” Zay said.
“Yeah, well, I’m doubly not so tonight.” I turned my back on them before anything on my face betrayed my Cinderfella mishap.
It seemed to be the wrong move because they both grabbed me and pushed me toward the bedroom where they proceeded to dress me up like a doll.
“I can’t believe this. I’m being kidnapped,” I said as they dragged me back out.
“Don’t give me ideas,” Alina said and turned to Zainab. “Maybe we should gag him with your scarf.”
Zay grimaced.
“I’m not putting this expensive scarf in his mouth. He can scream all he wants. He’s coming out with us.”
“This is America. I have rights.”
Alina laughed.
“Well, not tonight, you don’t. Tonight we’re the bosses and you’re coming to the bachelor auction to bid on hot guys whether you like it or not.”
I rolled my eyes and let them drag me downstairs. I put my shoes on and my jacket with little fanfare, succumbing to this forced fun. I was thankful I’d already fed the cats.
As the cold Mayberry winter breeze hit my face when we stepped outside, I’d accepted my fate for the night. I just hoped it would be a better distraction than my previous attempt.
We drove all the way to Cotton Beach and entered the Outpost. The bar-restaurant usually resembled a man cave or a log cabin inside, but tonight it seemed to have been turned into an elegant event space.
The stage that had been erected on one side was surrounded by thick crimson curtains.
Banquet-style tables dressed in expensive tablecloths and chair covers made up the floor.
Floral centerpieces that included wreaths, Christmas balls, and fairy lights completed the look and matched the wreaths and fairy lights on the walls.
“Wow. They really did this place up,” I mumbled as the girls registered our names, and we were handed numbered paddles by Duke’s boyfriend, Azrael.
“Enjoy,” he said, and we found three empty chairs when Hwan showed up on stage with his signature pink hair and addressed the audience.
“Wow. What a hunk. Am I right, everyone? And if you were too straight for Cooper, let’s see how you feel about our next sexy firefighter.” He glanced down at his clipboard and grimaced. “Oops. Next up is my ex-boss. Nobody tell him I called him hot. Give it up for Cole!”
I had to do a double take at the name.
Had he… had he just said Cole?