Chapter 11 #2
“She looks better than she did two years ago, though,” Judie said. “I was worried about her.”
“We all were. Devastating. And no family to support her. I don’t know where I’d be without my family, even though there are times when I wish they’d all move to California and give me peace.
I’ll take two of those pretty bookmarks while I’m here.
Actually, make it three. They make great stocking fillers. Thanks, Judie.”
No family to support her.
Claudia winced inwardly and glanced at Erica. She was staring at the books on the shelf without seeing them. “Maybe we should go—”
“No.” Erica shook her head. “I want to listen.”
Claudia closed her eyes. She had a feeling listening was a very bad idea.
“Lynda is keeping an eye on her. She adores that girl. And Noah is always there, of course.”
“He’s a good man.” There was a pause. “Sometimes I wonder—”
“I wonder the same thing. But Lynda asked me to wonder it quietly so that’s what I’m doing.”
Who was Lynda? Noah? And what were the two women wondering about?
They clearly knew each other well. Were part of the same community.
Claudia had grown up in a small town, but she knew Erica had never experienced that.
Her mother believed in keeping herself to herself.
Not relying on anyone. Erica had once told them that even when she’d broken her arm, she wouldn’t ask anyone for anything.
We’ll manage, she’d said to Erica as she’d gritted her teeth and did her best to cook one-handed.
It was a story that had stayed with Claudia, mostly because her own experiences were so different. She’d lived in a neighborhood where you only had to sneeze and someone would be making you a casserole and offering to take the kids to school.
No one had ever offered Erica and her mother a casserole. No one had known her mother was working three jobs. No one had known they were struggling.
Erica’s mother had been determined to manage alone, and Erica had learned that resilience was keeping going even when you thought you couldn’t take another step.
Claudia remembered the first time she’d opened up to them in college. It had been a turning point in their friendship.
Knowing how hard it was for Erica to ask for support, Claudia reached out and gave her arm a squeeze.
“This is a lovely bookstore. Let’s explore.”
Erica finally stirred. “Yes,” she said. “Good idea.”
They stepped farther into the store, away from the conversation.
They didn’t need to hear more about Hattie, Claudia thought.
They didn’t need to hear that she was exhausted.
What was Erica supposed to do anyway? If Hattie’s life was stressful then Erica announcing her existence would surely only add to the stress.
Erica was probably right to walk away. Hattie clearly wasn’t alone and struggling. She had a whole community of people to support her. She had Lynda and she had Noah. Was Noah that gorgeous guy in the truck who had delivered the logs? She didn’t need anyone else.
“There you are!” Anna suddenly appeared. “I was talking to you both for at least five minutes before I realized you weren’t there. I’ve found this stunning art book. I think Meg would love it. And I’ve found a book on battlefields for Pete—are you two all right?”
“Yes,” Claudia said. “We’re fine. Just browsing.”
Anna glanced at the bookshelf next to Erica. “Since when were you two interested in notebooks?”
Notebooks?
Claudia took a closer look at the shelf in front of her. Notebooks. She hadn’t even noticed what she was staring at.
“We thought maybe we’d start journaling.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Yes, she’s kidding,” Erica said. “We’ve been eavesdropping shamelessly. Who knew that the local bookstore would be the perfect place to gain insight into the community? It’s the equivalent of the office water cooler.”
Anna studied her carefully and then gave her sleeve a tug. “Come and see the thriller section. It’s brilliant. All crime tape and blood-spattered walls. You’ll love it.”
Erica allowed Anna to propel her into the next room. Claudia followed.
In normal circumstances she would have admired the business brain behind the store. The whole place was designed to draw people in. She was desperate to explore the cookery section but she didn’t want to leave Erica.
Anna pulled Erica into a corner away from other people. “You’re upset. Tell me about the conversation you overheard.”
“They were talking about Hattie. Everyone seems to know her.”
“Small town.” Anna paused as a woman passed them on her way to the romance section. “Did you learn anything interesting?”
Erica paused. “I learned that life has been tough for her.”
“Right. But you assumed that. It’s why you came looking for her, isn’t it?”
Erica was silent and Claudia wondered if she even really knew why she’d come looking for Hattie.
Anna frowned. “You can change your mind and stay if you want to?”
Claudia held her breath. She so badly wanted to stay but Erica immediately shook her head.
“I don’t want to stay.”
“Are you sure?” Anna was watching her closely. “I wondered if hearing them talk about her might have changed your mind.”
“On the contrary, it’s clear to me that she has a big support network here. There’s no reason to stay.”
Anna hesitated. “You’re her family, Erica. That’s a good reason.”
“We both know there’s more to family than DNA. She doesn’t need me, Anna.”
“Maybe she does.” Anna spoke softly. “And maybe you need her.”
“That’s absurd,” Erica said. “I’ve made it to forty without her in my life. I’m sure I can survive the next few decades.”
“I’m sure you can. But there’s a difference between surviving and thriving. Maybe the risk would be worth it. Maybe,” Anna said, “those decades would be richer for having her as part of your life.”
“I don’t need the emotional complication,” Erica said. “And your problem is that you’re too much of a romantic.”
Anna smiled. “I don’t see that as a problem.”
“How are we friends?”
“I don’t know, but you held my hair back the first time I drank too much and was sick so we’re bonded forever. There’s no escaping me.” Anna glanced at the cover of the book next to them and shuddered. “Why do people read this stuff?”
“Because it allows them to experience the darker side of the world without taking personal risk. And that was the only time you’ve ever drunk too much.”
“It wasn’t an experience I wanted to repeat.”
“Your bad-girl credentials are lacking.” But it was a reminder of how well they knew each other, how deep their friendship ran. “I just want things to go back to the way they were. I wish my mother had thrown that card away. I wish I’d never found it. I wish I’d never acted on it.”
Claudia put the book she was holding back on the shelf. “Do you really?”
“Yes.” Erica straightened her shoulders. “I’m leaving tomorrow. I’ve made my decision and I’m comfortable with that decision. So why do I feel weird?”
“Because even if you leave, things will still be different,” Claudia said. “Just because you’re choosing not to act doesn’t mean things haven’t changed. Information changes things.”
“Yes. Call me Pandora.” Erica stared at the chalk outline on the floor. “What’s that supposed to be? A reader who died of boredom?”
Anna laughed. “Let’s hope not.” Another couple joined them in the crime section and the three of them strolled through to the next room, which had the same tall bookshelves along with a comfortable seating area stacked with cushions. A deep pile rug muffled their footsteps.
Erica glanced up at the hearts hanging from the ceiling and the fairy lights twisted around the bookshelves. “The romance section? You’ve brought me to the romance section?”
Anna shrugged. “I’m appealing to your softer side. Also, I want to buy a Catherine Swift.”
“You already have her latest. That’s what we’re discussing later over a glass of good red wine.
” She watched as Anna scanned the shelves.
As students they’d spent hours in bookstores, and then rationed their purchases because money was tight.
She knew that Anna would choose a book over a meal every time.
Whenever she and Erica were buying a gift for Anna they always chose books.
“I’m looking for early Catherine Swift. Not murder Catherine—romance Catherine. I need an antidote for all the darkness.” Anna reached high on the shelf and pulled out a book. She turned it over and scanned the back. “I think I might have read this one.”
“You’ve read all of them.”
“Most of them. There are still a few of her earlier ones I haven’t read. Why did she start writing crime? That in itself is a crime. It’s cruel to her readers. I can’t bear to think I’ll never read a new Catherine Swift romance again.” She added the book to the other items she was carrying.
“Life doesn’t stay the same. Isn’t that what you’re always telling us? Apparently, that’s true for romance novelists, too. And not to preempt our discussion about the book, but I’d say her talent is still there.”
“I agree. I couldn’t put the book down. I’m looking forward to talking about it—particularly the part where the heroine murdered her husband instead of starting with therapy like every normal person—but to go from writing romance to crime?
That’s like booking a vacation on the beach and finding yourself in a freezing ski resort.
” Anna pulled another book from the shelf.
“They have such a good selection. I think this might be my new favorite bookstore.”
“They’ve done a good job,” Erica said. “And I feel guilty dragging you away from this place, because it’s perfect for you. Particularly you, Anna. It’s probably your Christmas dream and I’m being selfish, asking you to leave.”