Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
Hattie
“Sorry I took so long. One more story turned into about ten more stories and I need to learn to be firmer. I know it’s Christmas Eve and I wasn’t expecting it to be easy, but I didn’t think she’d ever go to sleep.
” Hattie collapsed onto the sofa next to Noah, who was stretched out comfortably.
Her heart gave a little thump. She saw him all the time, but not like this.
Not sprawled in her living room as if he was part of their lives. “What are you reading?”
“Delphi’s dinosaur book.” He closed the book and put it back on the table. “Did you know that a stegosaurus had a very small head compared to its body?”
“Yes. I know every word of those books by heart.” Hattie leaned her head back against the sofa. “Please don’t bombard me with any more dinosaur facts. Sometimes I dream about dinosaurs.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You dream about dinosaurs?”
“They play a big role in my life. No ballet or dolls for me.”
“Is that right?” He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. “Maybe it’s time we gave you something else to dream about.” His mouth hovered close to hers, and the look in his eyes was enough to make her forget the subject of their conversation.
Dreams. They were talking about dreams.
“I’d like to dream about something else.” She felt as breathless as a teenager. “Did you have something particular in mind?”
He gave a slow smile. “How about sharks?”
She started to laugh but then he covered her mouth with his and kissed her, and she kissed him back until her heart was hammering and her stomach melting.
She wrapped her arms around him, feeling the hard muscle of his shoulders under her hands.
His kiss was raw and skillful, an intimate prelude to something deeper, more intimate, but they both knew that wasn’t going to happen tonight.
Even consumed by pleasure, Hattie was acutely conscious of Delphi sleeping in the next room.
She pulled away reluctantly. “Delphi—”
“I know.” His voice was roughened, and he pulled back and closed his eyes for a moment. “Give me a moment. Talk about something unsexy.”
Unsexy?
“Er—did you know that a T. rex weighed around seven thousand kilograms?”
He opened his eyes. “Had he tried time-restricted eating?”
She smiled and snuggled closer, gazing into the fire. “I used to love Christmas.”
He closed his hand over hers. “And now?”
“This year I love it again.” She shifted so that she could look at him. “That’s because of you. I can’t believe you’re here, in my living room, on Christmas Eve. It feels—”
“How does it feel?”
“It feels good. It feels the way Christmas is supposed to feel.” She lifted her hand and traced his face, the roughness of his jaw, the silk of his hair.
He took her hand and kissed her palm. “It feels like Christmas to me, too.”
“Delphi was so excited that you were here this evening. And you were adorable with her.”
“Adorable?” Still holding her hand, Noah gave a mock frown. “I don’t think of myself as adorable. I think of myself as a tough outdoorsman who can light a fire by rubbing sticks together while fighting off a bear.”
She widened her eyes. “You’ve fought off a lot of bears lately?”
“About ten a day. Twenty on some days.”
“Aren’t bears supposed to be sleeping at this time of year?”
He shrugged. “They get excited about Christmas, just like the rest of us.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder, feeling content, relaxed, for the first time in ages. “Do you remember when Delphi used to call you the Christmas tree man?”
His fingers tightened on hers. “I do. I was pretty happy with that title. Who wouldn’t want to be Christmas tree man?”
Hattie paused, feeling as if she was balancing on the edge of something momentous. “She loves you, Noah.”
“I love her back.” He said it easily, without hesitation, and then pulled her gently to him. “I love you, too. Just in case you were wondering.”
The words drove the breath out of her body. “Noah—”
“I don’t have an agenda.” He slipped his fingers under her chin and raised her face so that she was looking directly at him.
“I’m telling you the truth, that’s all. And now you’re going to tell me you’re worried about Delphi being hurt, but you know I’d never hurt her.
I’d never hurt you, either, but I understand that it’s complicated and that you’re probably not ready.
But I wanted you to know how I feel, so that if and when you feel ready, you can let me know. ”
“I love you, too.” She had no hesitation in saying the words because they were true.
She loved Noah. She knew that now just as she knew that the relationship wouldn’t be easy, that she couldn’t just delete her feelings for Brent, that guilt would ebb and flow.
She hadn’t thought she’d fall in love with another man, but it had happened and she could ignore that or she could embrace it as a gift and be grateful that happiness had come her way twice in a lifetime.
“And I know you’d never hurt Delphi. You’ve been the very best friend to both of us.
” And she knew she’d never have to hide how she felt when she was with him.
Never have to pretend that she was fine if she was having a moment of sadness, or guilt, or pain.
Noah never tried to offer suggestions or fix as so many people did.
He didn’t minimize her pain. He didn’t tell her that all she needed was time.
He seemed to accept that some things in life were tough, and sometimes there were no shortcuts and you had to find your own way through it, and all anyone else could do was to listen and offer support.
“Hearing you say that is the best Christmas gift I could have had. I hope, one day, maybe there will be a place for me in your little family.” He kissed her again, but slowly this time and she could have stayed like that forever, with his lips on hers and his words in her heart.
“You’re already in our family.” But the mother in her was still on duty and eventually, she eased away.
“It’s late, and Delphi will be up before dawn.
You should leave, but I don’t want you to leave.
I don’t want the evening to end.” She was torn between her own needs and her responsibility as a mother.
“Me neither.” He stroked her hair, holding her close. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
“It’s just like any other day, but with Santa and presents and an overactive, overexcited child.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I assume you’re talking about yourself?”
“Naturally. Delphi is the restrained, adult one.” She marveled at how conversations with him almost always made her smile.
“After I have ripped open my presents with abandon, I will probably drink several large mugs of very strong coffee in order to set me up to serve Christmas lunch to a dining room full of guests, including my sister and sexy Jack.”
“Sexy Jack? You think he’s sexy?”
“Why? Are you jealous?” It was her turn to tease him.
“I don’t know. Can he wrestle bears and chop down a tree?”
“I have no idea. I’ve never met him. Chloe was here when they checked in and they haven’t emerged from the room since.”
“Then how do you know he’s sexy?”
“I don’t. But that’s what Anna calls him. I’m waiting to make my own judgment.” And she was sure that whatever the mysterious Jack was like, he wasn’t going to be as sexy as Noah.
“That decides it. I’m going to be here tomorrow, helping.” He leaned toward her, intending to kiss her again, when they both heard a sound behind them. They jumped apart guiltily.
Flustered, Hattie smoothed her hair and jumped to her feet. “Delphi! What are you doing? You’re supposed to be asleep.”
“I tried but it didn’t happen.” Delphi ran to her, arms outstretched, and Hattie scooped her up, feeling the weight and the warmth of her, and her heart felt full.
“You have to sleep.”
“I can’t because I’m not sleepy. And anyway, Noah is here, which means Christmas has started.”
“Christmas hasn’t started and Noah was just leaving,” Hattie said quickly and Noah obligingly stood and reached for his jacket.
“That’s right. Just leaving.”
Delphi shook her head. “He’s not leaving. He can’t leave.”
“What do you mean?”
“He won’t be leaving because he’s going to be here in the morning when I wake up and that’s likely to be very early.” Delphi was breathless with excitement. “I knew that if I wrote to him, it would happen.”
“If you wrote to who?” Hattie was thoroughly confused. “And Noah is coming to see us tomorrow, but he won’t be here when you wake up. Unless you happen to sleep late.” And they both knew that wasn’t likely to happen.
“Yes, he will.” Delphi was emphatic. “Because that’s what I asked Santa for.”
“You asked Santa?” Was this the mysterious gift that she’d been worrying about? “What exactly did you ask him for?”
“I told Santa I would like Noah to live with us. And because his gifts are waiting for me on Christmas morning, I guessed Noah would be here sometime during the night. And here he is.” She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. “I’m not supposed to see my presents before the morning.”
“In that case, I’d better take you straight back to bed. Say good-night to Noah.”
“Good night, Noah.”
“Good night, Delphi. See you in the morning.”
Head spinning, Hattie carried Delphi back to her room and tucked her safely back into bed with her dinosaur. “Now, keep your eyes closed and you’ll fall asleep. I love you.” She bent and kissed her daughter and then tiptoed out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.
Noah was standing where she’d left him, in the middle of her living room with his coat in his hand.
“Apparently, you’re her Christmas gift.” She looked at him curiously. “Did you know about this?”
“No. If I’d known, I would at least have made sure I was gift wrapped. Worn a ribbon or two.” He tugged her against him. “Does this mean I don’t have to go home? If she’s going to wake around five-thirty, it means I have to be back here by five. It’s already almost midnight.”
Hattie was still getting her head around the fact that her daughter wanted Noah to live with them.
“Why didn’t she say anything to me before?”
“Probably thought it was between her and Santa.” He wrapped his arms around her.
“How about a compromise? Tonight I’ll sleep in here on your sofa.
That way I’ll be the first thing Delphi sees when she comes to find her presents under the tree in the morning.
And after that? Well, let’s just take this a day at a time. ”
“I’m not sure I’ll get much sleep, knowing that you’re just on the other side of the wall.”
“That makes two of us. But I promise to keep my eyes shut so that Santa doesn’t know I’m awake.”
She laughed. “You’re a real hero, Noah.”
“I like to think so.”
She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him, making the most of the moment.
The present. And she was going to keep doing that.
She was going to make the most of each day, not just because she knew it was what Brent would have wanted, and not just because she wanted to set a good example for her daughter, but for herself.
Brent was gone, but she was still here. Damaged, bruised, but still here.
She had Delphi, and the inn, and a whole community ready to offer support.
And she had Noah.
She smiled and buried her face in his neck.
That was the best gift.