Chapter 19
The movie has been over for a while now, and yet we lie here, wide awake and still naked.
“How bad is it going to be for you?” I ask her while she lies beside me, so close that her head is using my chest as a pillow.
I’m not complaining though. This may be the best Christmas I’ve ever had, and that’s no joke.
“When you get back to the city and break it to your boss that this place is a dead end for him, how mad will he be?”
She’s silent—lost in her own thoughts, I guess—while the fire crackles beside us.
At first, when we got here earlier, I was pissed that my generator wasn’t working because it’d never given me trouble, and of course, it had to start tonight, when she was going to be staying here.
But after what we just did on the floor and how hot she looked in the light of the fire while I fucked her from behind as my balls slapped her ass in the damn near-silent house?
I’ll take a power outage any day if it means this is what comes of it.
“Honestly?” She lets out a long sigh, keeping her head to my flesh.
“I think I’m for sure going to lose my job.
But to tell you the truth, if I could, I’d just quit anyway.
” She breathes out a quiet, almost-sad laugh.
“Probably would have quit a long time ago, when they made Victor my boss with literally no training.”
I make sure to think before I speak right now.
Stella can be sweet, but she also has a fire that’s always burning inside of her.
Feistiness in a woman has never drawn me in—before her.
Now, I love watching that fire ignite. But I also know that she’s skittish, and I don’t want to say anything that she may take the wrong way or offend her.
While fishing and the wharf are my legacy, she has her own, I’m sure.
And even though her boss sounds like a prick, that’s her career. It means something to her.
“Why can’t you quit?” I ask, pausing because I know I need to expand what I just said. “I don’t mean that to sound judgmental. I just mean, you said you would if you could. So, I guess I’m wondering, if it’s okay that I ask, what’s keeping you there? What are your reasons?”
I’m met with more silence, which I’ll admit I expected. She’s guarded; that’s been clear to see since our day at the tree farm.
“I don’t come from a loving family like the one you have, Ridge.
And truthfully, even though I don’t love my job, it’s a job that pays well enough for me to have a beautiful apartment and everything else I need.
But most of all, it makes me feel secure in life.
” She breathes in sharply. “There was a time when I didn’t even have a roof over my head.
And when I did have a roof over my head, the people I was living with were so awful that I would have rather been homeless. ”
Even though I can’t see her face, she suddenly nuzzles it into my side, like she needs to hide from me.
“I’ve worked really hard to get to a place in my life where I feel safe, and I just … the thought of losing that is actually debilitating for me.”
There’s so much I don’t know about this woman, but I know I can’t spring twenty questions on her right now, even if that’s what I want to do. I want to know everything about her, not just these small tiny pieces. But little by little, I’m figuring out why she is the way that she is.
Sharp yet soft at times. And sassy, though sometimes bashful too.
“And all of that … is that why you’ve never celebrated Christmas?” My chest hurts as I ease out the question. “And why you didn’t want to go to the tree farm?”
A sad laugh slips from her lips. “My parents sucked, and once I was taken from them and put into foster care when I was ten, they didn’t even bother to try to get clean and get me back.
Instead, they just kept on doing drugs, and eventually, they got something that was laced, and they both overdosed. ”
The words come out almost robotic, and I have no idea how I know this, but I’m somehow sure that she’s never said these words out loud before. She’s too tough for that, and I think that in her mind, if she runs from her past, it can’t bother her. So, she puts on her tough armor, and she runs.
“My whole life, I’ve watched everyone around me—in school and at jobs—love Christmas because of who they got to spend it with.
” She runs her palm against my chest. “This was the first Christmas where I got to be a part of something like that. And I know that sounds odd and probably creepy because, well, it’s your family and all, and I’m just a stranger.
But I was there, and I felt the love you have for each other and the adoration your mom has for a holiday that she bases around her family.
” She quickly buries her face harder against me. “You must think I’m—”
Quickly, I sit up, dragging her up with me, though she only buries her face against my shoulder now. “Stella, look at me,” I say, trying to cup her cheeks and force her head upward. “Please, beautiful, just look at me.”
“I’m so embarrassed,” she whispers, and I hardly hear her. “Here you all were, giving me a pity invite to Christmas, not even knowing it was the first holiday I’d ever been a part of.”
Instead of forcing her to look at me, now, I bury my face against her hair and kiss the top of her head over and over again.
“You’re embarrassed because you enjoyed being with my family today?
” I utter. “Well, guess what? Having you at Christmas made it feel like a real holiday for me. Having you there made it the best one I’d had in a long damn time. ”
Forever actually. But I don’t want to scare you away.
Not right away, but slowly, she lifts her head up. Her eyes are wet, and her lips are pouty. “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
“No, I’m not,” I say, shaking my head. “My mom loves Christmas. And because of that, I always go and do all the shit she asks of me. But every year, I watch the clock, excited for it to be over so I can come the hell home.” I cup her cheeks, kissing her forehead.
“But this year, I loved having you there so much that we ended up being the last ones to leave.” I know that what I’m about to say is going to sound insane, but I’m going to say it anyway.
“Having you there, around my family? It felt right, Stella.”
I don’t know who this version of me is. Even the few girlfriends that I’ve had never got this much emotion out of me, and they were certainly never at Christmas, and I wouldn’t have wanted them to be either.
What’s crazy is, I spent more time with them than I have with Stella, but I feel like I somehow know her more, even though I hardly know her at all.
And this feeling inside my chest every single time we come together, I don’t get it either.
Sex is sex, but with her … that’s not true.
I feel her everywhere when we’re together.
But aside from my family, I’ve never loved anyone. And I can’t love her; it’s too soon for that.
It has to be. It hasn’t even been two full weeks.
She sniffles, smiling, though more tears fall.
“I know that your family is probably wary of me, and they have every right to be—so do you. But thank you for letting me be a part of your world for the day.” Her lips tremble.
“Your family and this place, Holiday Harbor, have changed me. I can’t even explain it, but it’s true. ”
Her head dips forward, and her lips press to mine. Instantly, my cock begins to harden yet again. Her kiss intensifies and I drag my hand down her face, cupping her neck gently.
“Ride me again, Stella,” I growl into her mouth. “I need to feel that pussy squeeze my cock once more before Christmas is over.”
Moving around, she swings her leg over my thighs and straddles me before dropping the blanket down, exposing her perfect tits in the light of the fire, and my dick grows against her slit, needing to be inside of her.
“Look at you, hard again already,” she says, dipping her lips to my ear. “Fill me up once more, Outlaw. It’s Christmas, and for my gift, all I want is to be full of you.”
I tremble from her words before I slide my palms down her body. I lift her just enough so that her pussy is hovering over my aching cock, but before I even get the chance to lower her slowly, she sits down on it, filling herself so full of my dick, taking me so deep that a hiss slips from her lips.
Keeping myself upright, I move us both backward until my back is against the couch. And with her arms around my neck and her face just inches from mine, she fucks me, thrusting her hips, making my brain fucking mad.
She slides up and down on my length, taking me deeper each time she lowers herself.
Her eyes are locked on mine, and a sheer layer of sweat beads on her beautiful, porcelain-like skin.
She doesn’t say a word, but she doesn’t have to because the dazed-off expression in her eyes tells me everything while she continues to ride my cock.
I love the look in her eyes when she’s losing herself in me.
“That’s it, baby,” I grunt.
When she lifts herself again, I bury my face between her tits before working my way to each one and dragging my tongue over the nipple and sucking. A loud moan rolls from her lips, and she slams her pussy down onto my length harder.
“Take what you need. Show me how much of a slut you can be when it comes to my cock.”
“Ridge,” she moans out, rubbing herself against me when she sits down on it this time, rocking ever so slightly.
Raking my fingernails down her back, I look up at her and bite down on her neck. “Do you think you can make my dick come again?” I growl against her flesh.
“Yes,” she hisses with her chin angled toward the ceiling when I fist her hair and give it a yank. “I’m going to make you come inside of my pussy.”
“Yeah?” I barely choke out, releasing my hold on her hair and moving my hands to her tits. With one on each, I cup them while she starts riding me again. “Come on, slutty girl. Don’t stop riding my dick until my cum is leaking from your pussy and dripping down my thighs.”
Her nails dig into my shoulders, and she thrusts her hips back and forth as her mouth hangs open while she’s gasping for air. The harder her nails prod into my flesh, the more my balls start to tingle.
Her pussy tightens, squeezing my dick greedily just as she moans loudly.
“Cover my dick while I fill up that sweet, tight pussy,” I grunt just as she begins to pulsate around me.
Her thrusts become inconsistent, and cum explodes from the tip of my cock as I blow my load inside of her, claiming her as mine in my own fucked-up way.
Her body collapses against mine as her rocking gets slower and slower, and I tremble against her, damn near feeling like I may black out.
Even after our orgasms are over, she stays against me, holding on to me tightly. And I realize that I don’t know if there will ever be a time I’m with her when I don’t want her again after.
I keep telling myself one more time is all I need, but the truth is, I know that’s bullshit. Because it’ll never be enough.
Unfortunately, it has to be because, in two days, she’ll be gone forever.