Chapter 22
We’re back from the boat ride, and Stella has disappeared down the hallway to pack her things.
She’s been quiet ever since we finished fucking on my boat, and it’s clear that she’s pulling away from me before she’s even actually gone.
I can feel her growing more distant, putting space between us like nothing ever happened.
No matter how much I loved showing her the lighthouse and taking her on my boat, it doesn’t change the fact that, in a few hours, I have to drive her to the airport so she can leave Maine and go back to New York.
Whatever the hell this thing between us is, it’s coming to an end, and there’s nothing I can do to stop that.
I lean forward on my couch to give Marlin a pat on the stomach while he lies on the floor at my feet. He rolls onto his back, snorting a few times, and I chuckle, shaking my head just before I hear the rolling wheels on a suitcase.
I sit up, and my gaze finds Stella. But when I look at her, she does everything in her power to look anywhere besides at me.
When I stand up, my eyes take in the tote bag slung on her shoulder—as if she’s heading out the door right now. On her feet are the same fancy boots that she arrived in.
I narrow my eyes. “I thought we didn’t need to leave for another hour?”
She stops, and her brows pull together slightly as her eyes grow misty.
“Ridge, I called a taxi.” She keeps her gaze away from my eyes.
“I think we both know this will be a lot easier if we cut things off right now rather than do the whole thing … where you take me to the airport and give me a hug and a kiss and we pretend like we’ll never hear from each other again. ”
“Would it really be that bad if we did?” I throw my arms out. “Are you that against anything going further? What is it? Are you too good for a small town in Maine? Or are you too good for a lobster fisherman from that small town?”
“You’re really going to say that to me?” she hisses through gritted teeth, her eyes finally finding mine, glaring into them. “After everything I told you about my upbringing, you truly think that I think I’m too good?”
I take a step toward her, keeping my fists balled at my sides.
She gets under my skin. She has ever since I was working on my boat and she showed up at the wharf with her iPad tucked under her arm, trying to sell me and my father on something her company had convinced her we’d want.
And now, she’s not just under my skin; she’s in every fucking part of me, and I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of her.
I stop when I’m half a foot away and stare down at her.
“I don’t know what I think, Stella. You’re fucking impossible to figure out.
One minute, you’re a bitch. The next, you’re sweet.
Then you’re funny. Suddenly, you’re as cold as the fucking ice outside.
” I shrug. “I don’t know what to fucking make of you because you are the most complicated creature I have ever met. ”
She fights a sniffle before quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
“What would you prefer I do, Ridge?” she whispers with her lips trembling.
“Tell my boss to fuck off? Stay here and hope that it works out with a man I met two weeks ago?” Looking down, she wipes her eyes once more.
“This isn’t a fairy tale, Ridge. Or a Hallmark movie.
It’s real life.” Hazel eyes flash back to mine.
“And in real life, people can’t just give everything up because they have feelings for someone.
Especially not when they’ve worked so hard to get to where they are.
They can’t just throw all caution to the wind just for a few feelings. ”
“I didn’t ask you to give everything up,” I say, shaking my head. “We could both travel to see each other. We can text. Jesus Christ, at least fucking think about this.”
Inhaling a shaky breath, she chews her lip nervously to stop it from quivering.
“I’m sorry I tried to get your family to sell your land.
One thing I’ve learned since being here is that this land …
this entire place … it’s not just a piece of the earth that you own.
” She smiles sadly. “It’s a part of all of you.
It’s what makes your family who they are.
I’m so sorry I ever tried to take that away.
” She breathes out a miserable laugh. “I’m sorry I ever thought I could. ”
Taking a step forward, she stands on her tippy-toes and brushes her lips against mine.
“I had the best Christmas with your family, Ridge Adams.” She kisses me before sinking back down onto flat feet. “I hope you never take them for granted because a group like yours?” She sniffles. “I would kill for a family like that.”
“Stella, just wait,” I whisper. “Please. Just let me take you to the airport. We can talk on the way.”
“What’s the point?” More tears fall, and she gives me the tiniest, saddest smile. “Goodbye, Ridge.”
As she walks away from me, I don’t know what it is or why … but I stand there, frozen.
Unable to speak.
Unable to yell.
And unable to run after her when the sound of a car pulls up and takes her away.
Pain shoots through my chest, radiating deeper inside of me and threatening to make me break down.
I know I’m pathetic for feeling this way.
I haven’t known this man long enough to experience these deep feelings.
There’s so much about him that I have yet to find out.
He could be the worst human on the planet, and I wouldn’t know it yet because we haven’t spent enough time together.
And yet here I am, driving away from his house in the back seat of a taxi. Running away while I still have a little bit of composure to do so.
For too long, I wasn’t in control of my own life. Now, I’m independent. I’ve proven to myself that I can make it on my own with no parents, no family. And only a few friends because before anyone gets close, I sabotage the relationship and push them away. That way, they can’t leave me first.
In the end, I know this is for the best. My whole life is in the city, and long-distance relationships only work when you have a goal in mind. What would our goal even be? We both like where we live and don’t want to leave.
Folding my arms across my chest, I hug myself tightly as I wedge my body against the seat of the car. There’s always been someone I could depend on to comfort me when things got rough.
Me. Because I’m the one person who can’t leave.