35. Lydia
35
LYDIA
M iles was frantically calling the birthing center and Dr. Rose. I could tell he was trying to be calm, but his voice was sharp and cutting. He wasn’t getting the answers he wanted. And if he wasn’t satisfied with the situation, I was afraid of what that meant.
He set the receiver down very slowly before lifting his gaze to meet mine.
“None of the calls are making it through. I think the phone lines are down. We were going to be on our own.”
I closed my eyes and tried to breathe. Nothing hurt for the moment, but how long was that going to last?
“We have maybe five more minutes before your next cluster of contractions?” he asked.
I nodded. He came and sat next to me. “I’m not going until we get through this next round, okay?”
“What do you mean, going? You aren’t leaving me?” I clutched his arm.
“I’m—”
I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped his arm hard as the next wave of contractions hit.
He made soothing noises and tried to brush my hair back, but there really wasn’t anything he could do that would make the pain ease. I wanted to talk to him. We had things to discuss, but the pain took over and I no longer cared about anything he might have said or done. I needed him right now, and that’s what mattered the most. I was sweaty and panting when the contractions finally faded.
Miles stood and picked up his coat. “I’ll be back soon.”
“You’re going out into the storm?” I reached out for him. I didn’t want to be alone.
“You’re going to be fine,” he said. “You shouldn’t have contractions for another ten minutes. I should be back by then. I need to go and get some help.”
“You can’t leave me here alone,” I cried. “What if the baby comes?”
“It’ll only be for a few minutes, I promise. The baby isn’t going to come between the time I leave and go get Evie.”
“You’re getting Evie? Why don’t you just call her?”
“I can’t call. The phones are down. If there’s anyone in this town who should know how to help you, I would think it would be the librarian. She’s supposed to be this font of esoteric knowledge, right?”
“Evie does know a lot about… well, everything,” I admitted. Evie would know what to do, who to call. “Promise me you’ll come back.”
Miles placed his hands on either side of my face. “I promise you, I will come back. I’m only leaving long enough to go get Evie. I know I’ve made promises to you before, and you have very little reason to trust me, but I swear I will return. You are not having this baby without me right by your side. Let’s get you comfortable.”
Miles helped me into a more comfortable position on the couch. He put one of the throw blankets over my legs. He leaned over and gently pressed a kiss against my forehead. It felt natural and not like we had been fighting and not speaking to each other for months.
I reached out and grabbed his arm. “Hurry.”
“I’ll be back.”
I stared at the door the entire time he was gone. It seemed to take him forever. I felt the panic well up like bile in the back of my throat. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted Miles to come back and make everything better.
The snowstorm was getting worse, and as the late afternoon progressed, it was starting to get dark. I worried he and Evie would somehow get snow blind and lost, even though the library was really only a block and a half away. Or maybe he would change his mind and drive off without me. Horrible scenarios raced through my head. I was scared. Thinking the worst wasn’t helping.
A new wave of contractions hit, and my moans turned into hard, panting breaths and cries of pain. This was not in my labor and birth plan at all. I had wanted to be medicated. Screw having a natural birth.
It had never sounded comfortable, and it really wasn’t. I didn’t have anything I could take that would help. I wanted to be at the birthing center where they could stick a needle in my back and take this pain away.
I curled up and managed to hold on to the couch as another set of harsh contractions assaulted my body. These were so intense and so hard that I don’t think I could have pushed if I had wanted to. I didn’t even know if I should be pushing.
There was something inside me, and it felt like it was trying to claw its way out with razor sharp talons. The nature of the pain changed from constricting, dull, and achy. The pain almost had a shape. It was something with hard, rounded edges to something sharp and pointed.
My perception of reality began to twist. There was no part of my body that did not hurt. My hair hurt. I was delusional and barely registered when Evie and Miles came bursting back into the lobby.
I thought it must have been a dream. Evie hated Miles, but there they were together. She began barking orders to him, and he ran around, gathering everything. There was a frantic urgency to their actions.
“Hey, Lydia.” A cool washcloth brushed over my brow. “I guess the baby decided it wanted to show up for Christmas.”
“Evie?” Was that my voice? It was all slurred and raspy.
“Are you sure you want all these sheets out here? Don’t we want to move her into her bed?”
Miles was there. Miles had come back and we were going to be a family. This had to be a dream because Miles wanted to sue me for paternity. Why would he be here if he hated me?
“No, let’s get everything set up out here. It’s warm and there’s more room for us. This way, her bed is nice and clean for after the baby’s born. We won’t have to try to move her out of the bed to make it,” Evie was telling somebody.
“Smart call,” Miles said. Oh, right, he was here.
“Okay, Lydia, I know we’re best friends, but I’m about to see parts of you neither of us ever expected me to see, and I need you to be okay with that,” Evie said. “I’m going to have to be okay with that too.”
I think I whimpered something. I tried to focus, but the pain made everything hazy. Evie was in front of me with her hand on my knee.
I don’t know what Evie had planned. I knew that she seemed to have everything under control. Miles was listening to her. I was listening to her.
“Lydia.” She was talking to me again. She said something about taking off my clothes. “Miles, can you crank up the heat in here? I don’t want her to get cold.”
No, it was cold outside, and I needed to put on a coat so we could go. I was supposed to be having a baby at the birthing center, but instead, here I was, having a delusional dream while sitting in the lobby at the Sweet Mountain Inn.
“We should go to Ines,” I managed to say. I sounded drunk to my own ears.
Excessive amounts of pain tore through me. I screamed.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Suddenly, Miles was wrapped around me. His arms supported me, and he guided my head to rest back on his shoulder. “You’re doing really well. Lydia, keep going, darling.”
I don’t know how long he had been holding me. It felt good to have him supporting my body. Somehow, the comfort of his arms took away some of the pain, and there was so much pain.
I heard Evie somewhere off in the distance. “You’re gonna need to push now.”
Push. Push. Push. I don’t know what she meant. I lifted my arms and tried to push against the air, and then a contraction grabbed hold of my body and I curled in on myself. That’s what she meant by push. I screamed as I bore down.
“That’s it, Lydia, you got it. Push, honey.” Miles, still against my back supporting me, grabbed my leg and pulled my knee up.
Evie’s hands were suddenly on my stomach. “Stop pushing, Lydia. Just breathe. Just breathe.”
I followed every single one of her instructions.
She rested her hand against my stomach. “Time to push, Lydia,” she directed.
And then I was pushing again. With another scream that was more a primal roar, the tension and pain in my body seemed to literally slip away.
“I’ve got him. Oh, my God, Lydia, it’s a boy! It’s a boy!” Evie was crying.
Suddenly, a squirmy, freshly born baby was placed on my stomach. I blinked, and clarity returned to my world as all the pain almost completely vanished. I could still feel it blurring the edges of my consciousness.
“It’s a boy, Lydia. He’s beautiful.” Miles’s voice crooned in my ear. “We have a son.”