Chapter Thirteen
Life is a play that does not allow testing. So, sing, cry, dance, laugh, and live intensely, before the curtain closes and the piece ends with no applause.
—Charlie Chaplin
While sitting up in bed, Mallory lowered Nan’s journal to her lap and leaned her head back against the wall. There was so much she never knew about Nan’s life. How amazing that she was meeting the younger version of her grandmother as the older version was slowly disappearing inside herself.
Closing the journal, Mallory placed it on the nightstand beside her.
She was forcing herself to read just one entry at a time, no more.
She wanted to savor these stories. She was about to turn the bedside lamp off and go to sleep when her cell phone vibrated against the table’s glass surface.
Mallory flicked her gaze at the clock. Ten p.m. She reached for her phone and glanced at the screen.
Hollis: Good night. Thanks for having cocoa with me earlier.
Their outing had been brief on purpose. Otherwise, Hollis might have considered it a date. Nan had warned Mallory against falling for him when they were younger, before the thought had even crossed Mallory’s mind.
“I love Hollis. I do,” Nan told Mallory with a small frown.
“But he’s had a hard life. Hollis has been hurt far more than we even know.
And the thing that life has taught me is that hurt people hurt others.
It’s just the way of life. That boy has never had love so he’ll never know what to do with it when some foolish woman hands him her heart. ”
Foolish woman.
Mallory remembered being shocked by the phrase.
From Mallory’s experience, Nan wasn’t a judgmental person.
Now that Mallory had started reading Nan’s story, however, Mallory wondered if Nan had been thinking of herself when she’d said those words: hurt people hurt people.
Nan had been hurt in her life, and Mallory was only beginning to learn the depths of that pain.
Nan had never hurt anyone though. Or Mallory wouldn’t have thought her grandmother would have.
Even though Mallory had ignored her attraction for Hollis, when she was around him, her heart still kicked a little harder. She’d enjoyed having hot cocoa with him tonight. He’d flirted with her, but he hadn’t done anything out of line. Hollis was a complete gentleman.
Maybe Nan wasn’t right about everything.
Maybe Hollis had been hurt in his childhood, but Matt and Sandy had been good to him.
Mallory believed that people changed. She believed that loved conquered all.
She had also believed that, if her heart was in the right place, everything would turn out okay, and look where that Pollyanna-mindset had gotten her.
Picking up her phone, Mallory tapped out a reply to Hollis.
Mallory: I enjoyed it as well.
Hollis: Maybe we should do it again sometime.
Mallory: Hot cocoa?
Hollis: Not necessarily. I was thinking more about joining me for a shopping date.
Mallory’s brain stumbled on that unusual request. If Savannah invited her to go shopping, that would be different.
Hollis: I typically go shopping for the boys home and buy some things on the kids’ holiday wish list. Shopping isn’t exactly my favorite thing, but with you…
Mallory’s heart melted in a puddle of goo. He’d said “shopping date” though, which made her hesitate. The d-word was daunting. Was he asking for help or for something different?
Mallory: Maybe so.
Hollis: How about this weekend?
Her hand shook as she clutched the cell phone in her hand. Before responding, she clicked out of her chat with Hollis and opened her ongoing text thread with Savannah.
Mallory: S.O.S.!
Mallory saw the little gray dots begin to bounce on her screen, letting her know that Savannah was responding.
Savannah: What’s up? Everything okay?
Mallory: No. Maybe. I think Hollis just asked me out.
Savannah: What?!?!?! Finally! You said yes, right?
Mallory: No. Not yet. I’m not sure I’m going to. I’m not even sure if it would be a date… I can’t date Hollis.
Savannah: Why not?
Mallory considered her reasons. Because she was busy. Tired. Stressed. Because Nan needed her. And dating seemed like one more job. Because this was Hollis. He was her friend, and they had too much history. Another text came in from Savannah.
Savannah: Psst… Hollis is texting Evan right now. He’s freaking because he asked you out and now you’re ghosting him.
Mallory let out a squeal. She was taking too long trying to decide what to do.
Savannah: Just say yes. What’s the worst that could happen?
It was supposed to be a comforting thought when people asked that question, but for Mallory, all the worst-case scenarios flooded her mind.
The absolute worst-case would be losing Hollis as a friend.
She valued having him in her life so much.
What if they were awkward? What if the chemistry wasn’t there?
What if things happened between them and they crossed the uncrossable line? There’d be no going back.
Savannah sent another text.
Savannah: You’re torturing Hollis. Say yes and put that poor man out of his misery. Say yes, Mal. You need this—a reason to smile.
Wow. Had her life become that serious? She knew the answer was yes, and she knew that Hollis was the main reason she found herself smiling lately.
Mallory: Okay, fine. I’ll go out with him. But you have to rescue me if it’s a disaster.
Savannah: You’re my best friend. I’ll always rescue you. But this is Hollis. If it’s awkward, you just tell him. Then he’ll come home, whine to Evan, and I’ll tell you every word.
Savannah followed that text up with a laughing face emoji.
Savannah: How perfect that both of you have best friends to spy on the other. This will be so much fun.
Mallory fidgeted with the hem of her sweater as she stood in front of her bedroom mirror.
Her heart raced as she glanced at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour.
Hollis would be here any minute to pick her up for their shopping date.
She couldn’t deny the butterflies in her stomach or the warmth that spread through her chest at the thought of him.
No. They were friends. Feeling this way about him was already crossing a line.
As she applied a final touch of lip gloss, Nan’s warnings about Hollis echoed in her mind.
Nan had been one of Hollis’s biggest supporters, and yet she hadn’t wanted Mallory to be more than friends with Hollis just because he’d come from a rocky past. Her past hadn’t been all that smooth either.
She’d been raised by her grandparents. If not for Nan and Grandpa Mickey, she’d have been in the foster care system too.
She took a deep breath, smoothing down her hair one last time. Then she turned as the doorbell’s chime sent a jolt through her body. Her hands trembled slightly as she grabbed her purse and made her way to the front door. With one final steadying breath, she turned the handle and pulled it open.
Hollis stood on her porch, looking uncharacteristically nervous and holding a beautiful bouquet of white daisies. “Hey,” Hollis said, his voice a touch softer than usual. “Uh, these are for you.” He extended the bouquet in his hand.
Mallory’s fingers brushed against his as she took the flowers. “Wow. Thank you. These are… beautiful.” And completely unexpected.
Hollis rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. “I’ve never brought a woman flowers before. Maybe that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years. Maybe that’s why I’m still single.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “If you’ve never brought anyone else flowers, why start now?”
The intensity of his eyes as they searched hers made her knees want to buckle. “I guess no other woman has inspired me to get flowers until now.”
She buried her nose in the daisies, inhaling their sweet scent while trying to hide her expression, which would probably give away too much. She could feel the heat in her cheeks. And yeah, Savannah was right. She was smiling—hard. “Daisies are my favorite flower.”
“I know.”
Mallory waited for him to look at her again.
A shadow of something—maybe regret—passed over his expression. “You told me back when we were teens. That year we had leading roles. I mean, you could have changed your mind. Women have every right to do that.”
Mallory laughed.
“You can change your mind now too. If you want. I wouldn’t blame you.”
She lowered the flowers, suddenly confused. Was he trying to back down from this date?
“I actually bought you a bouquet of daisies that night. Opening night. When we were teens.”
Mallory shook her head. “What are you talking about?”
“But then my old insecurities got the best of me.” He trailed off, looking ashamed. “I broke into my foster dad’s liquor cabinet, maybe for liquid courage or maybe because I never felt worthy of Nan’s trust. Or yours.”
“So you got drunk, walked into the audience, and booed me?” she asked, feeling the hurt from that night rise inside her as she remembered seeing Hollis stumble into the back of the auditorium.
“I bought you a bouquet of daisies that day.” Hollis’s voice was strained.
Why was he telling her this right now? Before they’d even left for their first date.
“Obviously, I chickened out that night, so here you go.” He gestured at the flowers. “Long overdue.”
Mallory stood there, stunned. The flowers in her hands suddenly held so much more meaning—an apology, a plea for forgiveness, and perhaps something more. He was laying everything on the table and giving her an opportunity to change her mind about stepping off this porch with him. “Hollis, I…”
“I just wanted you to know that I remember everything, and I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to make up for that night ever since.”
“That’s why you asked me out and brought me flowers tonight?” she asked.
He looked down momentarily. “Not entirely. The main reason is the same one I needed liquid courage for that first opening night. I liked you. I still like you. I just didn’t like myself back then.” A grin kicked up on his lips. “I like myself now. And I still like you. A lot, actually.”