Chapter Fifteen
The theater is a tragic place, full of endings and partings and heartbreak.
—Iris Murdoch
Mallory tried to read a page in Nan’s journal, but the words blurred in front of her tired eyes. She’d spent most of the night before gazing up into the darkness, replaying her date with Hollis. She chewed her bottom lip as she sat in the office chair at the theater with Nan’s journal in her lap.
Mallory had come to the theater early this morning to meet with a property inspector. It was a precursor to selling the theater. Her phone buzzed from the desk where she’d placed it. She set Nan’s journal down and reached for it, reading a text from her sister.
Maddie: Is the inspector there yet?
Mallory: Still waiting. How’s your morning hike with Renee?
Mallory couldn’t fault Maddie for ditching her for the great outdoors. It was Maddie’s passion. The fact that she was rediscovering it made Mallory’s heart full.
Maddie: You won’t believe what Renee wants to do. She’s trying to open a whole adaptive sports business. For Bloom and surrounding towns.
Mallory grinned as she watched a series of emojis fill her phone screen.
Mallory: Sounds cool.
Maddie: Very! Not just for people in wheelchairs. Renee wants to welcome all abilities. Even yours.
That text was followed by a winking emoji that made Mallory laugh.
A knock on the front entrance door got Mallory’s attention.
Mallory: The inspector’s here. Gotta go. Be safe!
Mallory headed toward the main entrance and opened the door to a large man in a pale blue uniform shirt tucked into a pair of dark rinse jeans.
“Hello, ma’am. I’m Jimmy Benson with the county inspection department.”
Mallory put out her hand for the man to shake. “Hi, I’m Mallory Blue.” She gestured behind her. “Please, come inside.”
Mallory suddenly felt nervous, even though she didn’t think she had any reason to be. “Um, how long will this take?” Because there were rehearsals this evening. The rumor mill was already active in Bloom, but Mallory didn’t want to feed it.
“Not too long. Unless of course there’s something wrong,” Jimmy said. “More than an hour is never a good sign.”
“Oh. Okay.” Mallory nodded. “Well, don’t let me bother you. If you need something, let me know.”
“You’re selling this place, huh?” Jimmy’s gaze ping-ponged around the front entrance area. “That’s a shame. I used to come to the theater with my nanny when I was a kid. She loved theater. Used to sing Broadway songs to me as I was falling asleep.”
Mallory smiled politely. “That’s nice.”
“Yeah.” Jimmy hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans. “All right. Well, I’ll find you when I’m done.”
“Great.” Mallory pointed at the office. “I’ll be right in there.”
“Sure thing.”
As Jimmy went forward with his work, Mallory returned to Nan’s office, where there were several boxes of stuff packed up and sealed with masking tape.
On the top of the boxes, in black Sharpie marker, she’d written STUFF TO KEEP.
So far, there was more to keep than give away.
She couldn’t keep it all though. In fact, at some point, she’d have to open those sealed boxes and get rid of at least half.
Maddie already said she didn’t want it. Maddie liked to say that she lived in the moment and holding on to sentimental things kept a person in the past.
Maybe there was truth to that.
Plopping into Nan’s leather chair, Mallory released a soft sigh. Then she startled at the sound of a tap on the office door.
“Knock, knock,” a woman’s voice said.
Mallory turned toward the voice. “Savannah. How did you get in?”
Savannah crinkled her brow in response. “The door, just like anyone else.”
Savannah didn’t need permission to come inside, of course. She was welcome anytime.
“I didn’t know I’d be seeing you today.”
“Well, I was just out and about and thought I’d see if you needed a hand.” Savannah glanced around the small office space. “What can I do?”
“Sit and keep me company. And convince me that I don’t need to keep all of Nan’s belongings.” Because Nan had never been a hoarder. If she’d kept these things, it meant they were important to her. But Mallory didn’t recognize half of them.
“I can definitely keep you company.” Savannah sat right down on the floor and picked up a small frame made from Popsicle sticks. “Keep, trash, or giveaway?” Savannah asked, holding it up. Without waiting for Mallory’s response, she decided, “I vote keep. It’s sentimental.”
“That’s the problem. Everything is sentimental.
” Mallory tipped her head at the frame. “Toss.” She swiped the Popsicle frame from Savannah’s hand and dropped it in the trash pile.
Then Mallory reached for a homemade card that she had made for Nan when she was in second or third grade.
“This whole drawer is full of things that Maddie or I made for Nan.”
“Aw. That’s sweet.” Savannah tilted her head to one side. “It shows how much she loved you.”
“I know. My grandparents must have loved us to put up with some of the things we put them through.” Mostly Maddie, who had been the wilder, more irresponsible of the two. The ying to Mallory’s yang.
“We can’t just trash all these treasures. They’re memories,” Savannah said wistfully.
Mallory stared at the discard pile. The things there were physical representations of the memories that Nan was losing. Savannah was right. Trashing them wasn’t the right thing to do. Mallory wasn’t sure what was, which was becoming a theme in her life these days.
“Subject change,” Savannah said, visibly perking up. “I need the deets on what’s going on with you and Hollis. Are you two official yet?”
Mallory rolled her eyes, even as she felt a small smile lift the corners of her lips. “We’ve had one date, Sav.” Mallory held up a finger for emphasis. “One.”
“And? Are you going out again?” Savannah leaned in as Mallory narrowed her eyes.
“I’m on to you. You didn’t come to help. You came over to interrogate me.”
Savannah laughed. “Isn’t that what friends do? Interrogation. Aka, best friend talk.”
Mallory sighed. “I have too much going on in my life right now. Too much uncertainty. Hollis and I are just having fun. That’s all.”
“Fun?” Disappointment flashed in her expression. “Does he know that?”
“Of course. His life is the same as mine.”
Savannah looked confused. “What are you talking about? Hollis has had the same job since he was a teenager. He’s as steady as they come these days. Or do you know something I don’t?”
Mallory tossed another card in the bin. “See? More interrogation. Why don’t you tell me about what’s going on with you and Evan?
” Mallory effectively flipped the conversation to Savannah and partly listened as she cleared out the bottom drawer of the desk and her thoughts splintered into a million directions, one of which was Hollis and the date they’d had this past weekend.
Before she knew it, an hour had passed and Jimmy knocked on the office door, looking less friendly than he had earlier.
“Hi, Jimmy. Everything okay?” Mallory asked, her heart dropping as she took in his demeanor. Instead of smiling, he wore a deep frown that made him look ten years older.
“Afraid not.”
“What is it?” She really couldn’t take any more bad news, but from the look on Jimmy’s face, that’s exactly what she was about to receive.
Jimmy glanced at Savannah and back to Mallory. “Maybe we should discuss this privately?”
Savannah shook her head and reached for Mallory’s hand. “I know you like to handle things on your own, but I’m not allowing it. I’m staying.”
Mallory was relieved by Sav’s insistence. It was getting harder to carry life’s burdens on her own. “Thank you,” she whispered before turning to Jimmy. “Bad news before the good. Give me the bad news first.”
His frown deepened. “I’m sorry to say there is no good news.”
Once Jimmy had left, Mallory paced back and forth in the empty theater, her heels echoing off the worn wooden stage. Her hands shook as she ran them through her hair, her mind racing with panic.
“What am I going to do, Sav? You heard Jimmy. The theater isn’t safe for the production. There are leaks in the pipes, and some of the wood under the flooring is wet. There’s mold in the air. We can’t perform here. All this work, all Nan’s hopes… it’s all falling apart.”
“Just stop for a second,” Savannah said. “Stop pacing and look at me.”
Mallory gulped a breath and faced her best friend.
“We’ll figure something out, okay?” Savannah said. “It’s not the end of the world.”
No. Just the end of a world that Nan had created. A world that Mallory had grown up in and had adored.
“I’ve been killing myself trying to make this work.
Every night, I’m up worrying about money, about Nan, about this damn play.
And now… now it’s all for nothing!” They probably wouldn’t even be able to sell the theater, which meant no money to keep Nan at Memory Oaks. This was the worst possible news.
“It’s not for nothing,” Savannah said firmly, getting up and stepping closer to her friend. “You’ve been doing an amazing job. We’ll put our brains together and figure it out. Maybe Maddie has an idea. I’m sure she’d want to know what’s going on.”
Mallory nibbled on her fingernail. “Maddie won’t be sad that we’ll have to cancel. Trust me.”
“Cancel? Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself?” Savannah asked.
Mallory didn’t think so. If the theater was shut down, then so was Santa, Baby. The actors would be so disappointed. Everyone would.
Savannah pulled her into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “You don’t have to do everything alone. Lean on the people who love you. Let us help you figure things out.”
For a moment, Mallory allowed herself to sink into the embrace. Then she pulled back and wiped her eyes. “Not right now. I need to go for a drive. That’s how I clear my head. I just… I need to be alone for a little while.”
Savannah’s face creased with worry. “I don’t think you should be alone right now. Not when you’re so upset. Let me call Hollis.”
“No. No, I just need some time.” Mallory was already heading toward the front door, grabbing her purse on the nearby hook along with her keys. “I’ll be fine. I just need some air and some space to think,” she called behind her.
“Mallory!”
Mallory didn’t stop to respond. Instead, she pushed through the theater doors, welcomed by the cool air against her hot cheeks. She fumbled with her keys, her hands shaking as she unlocked the car door.
Part of her knew Savannah was right. She should call Hollis, or Maddie, or anyone. She shouldn’t be alone right now.
But the larger part of her, the part that had been taking care of everyone else for so long, couldn’t bear the thought of being vulnerable or admitting she couldn’t handle it all.
With a shaky breath, she slid into the driver’s seat and turned the ignition. She needed to drive, to feel the road beneath her tires, to lose herself in the familiar rhythm of the town she loved so much. She needed to figure out her next move, but there wasn’t one.
She was so tired of being strong, of being the one everyone else leaned on. Just once, she wanted to be the one who could fall apart, who could ask for help without feeling like a failure.
But old habits die hard.
The sun began to set as she drove aimlessly through the streets of Bloom, finally pulling her car into Eleanor Collins’s driveway.
Savannah’s great-aunt Eleanor had a Little Free Library in the backyard for the community to enjoy, buried in the center of a lush garden.
It had always brought Mallory peace, so if there was any peace to be found today, maybe she’d find it here.
Mallory parked, grabbed her purse with Nan’s journal inside, and walked along the stepping-stone path.
Her phone buzzed inside her purse, but she ignored it.
She wanted to ignore everything in her current life and instead go back in time.
Way back. She wanted to disappear into Nan’s story and leave her own behind—at least for the moment.