Chapter 29
twenty-nine
RUBY
Today is the day I marry Joel.
Today is the day I get my happily ever after.
My heart is racing. I wish Pop was here to impart some wise words of wisdom before he’d walk me down the aisle, but since he’s not, I have Sab telling me a story about Mon and Cass, her nail polish, and the dining table in the cottage where they are staying for the holidays.
Speaking of the girls, Sab has just ducked out to visit them. Apparently, Eamon is having an issue with Cass and she only wants her mom. I told her to go because I need a few minutes to myself. It’s been go-go-go since we woke earlier this morning.
Sab and I started our day with a breakfast of ham and cheese croissants, fresh fruit, and mimosas. Then the hair and makeup lady arrived. She worked her magic and then it was time for us to head to the ski resort. I didn’t want to wear my dress and trudge through the snow, so we packed our dresses into my car and then we drove up the mountain to the ski resort.
Upon arrival, I duck into the ballroom to check on things and it all looks perfect. The back of the room is floor-to-ceiling windows and it overlooks the mountain. There was a fresh dumping of snow overnight, and it looks magical.
Sab and I make our way to the room where we’ll get ready. We have another glass of champagne, ’cause why not, and then it is time to get ready. Sab is dressed in seconds since her dress is simple, but my dress is not as simple. With all the layers of tulle and the corset-style top, it takes Sab almost fifteen minutes to strap me in.
“Thank God Eamon and I took that shibari course last summer,” she says as she pulls on my dress. My heads snaps toward her and I chuckle when I see her eyes widen in shock at that secret coming out. I make a mental note for us to discuss this at a later date since she was saved by the bell of her daughter needing her.
Taking a deep breath, I walk over to the windows and look out at the snow-covered mountain. Standing here, I watch a skier make his, or her, way down the side of the mountain. Their hips moving side to side as they glide over the snow. I’ve always been jealous of people who can do that, no matter how many lessons I took, I’m just not a skier … or snowboarder. If there was an Olympics for shit skiing, I’d take the gold in that event with little effort.
The door opens and when I turn around, my mouth drops open in shock because it isn’t Sab standing there, it’s Joel. “What are you doing here? It’s bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony.” Then I notice what he’s wearing, and I furrow my brows. “Ummm, Joel, why aren’t you in your suit? The ceremony starts in fifteen minutes.”
He just stands there, staring at me. His hands in his pockets and he rocks back and forth on his heels. The silence in the room is deafening and with each passing moment, a tightness begins to build in my chest … and it’s not from Sab tightening my dress too tight. “Joel, what’s going on? ”
“Ruby, I, ummm, I need to talk to you.”
“So start talking,” I snap, he flinches at the harshness of my words, but what the fuck? We are due to get married in a few minutes and he’s standing here before me all casually and not in his suit.
“I love you, Ruby, but I’m not in love with you.”
My eyes widen at his words but I’m too shocked to say anything back to him. My mouth opens and closes and then I finally find my voice. “W-w-w-what do you m-m-mean?” I stammer.
“I don’t love you like my dad loves my mom. I can’t marry you if I don’t love you above everything else. The love I have for you is not husband and wife love, and in good faith, I can’t…” He shakes his head but stops mid-sentence.
“You can’t what?” I hiss, but I have a good idea of what he’s going to say.
“I can’t marry you, Ruby.”
Blinking several times, I process his words. “And you left it till today, our wedding day, to tell me?” He nods. “You waited until fifteen minutes before the ceremony, while all our family and friends wait for us in a room one floor below where we are right now, to tell me you can’t marry me. What the fuck, Joel!”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“You’re sorry?” I hiss. “You’re fucking sorry!” I shout. Anger is coursing through my veins right now. “Is this why you’ve been distant since the beginning of the month?”
“Partly, yes, bu?—”
“Are you seeing someone else?” I interrupt, my stomach rolling at the thought of him being with someone else, and I’m not sure I want to know but at the same time, I do.
“No,” he vehemently denies, shaking his head. “There’s no one else, Rubes. This is all me, it’s not?— ”
“Are you seriously giving me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech right now?”
“Well, yeah, I am, I guess, but it’s true. You’re great, Ruby, but we’re different people. You’re a free spirit who spends her day selling romance novels and wine. I’m a numbers and figures man who spends his day making everything add up, and I’ve come to realize you and I don’t add up.”
Standing here, I stare at the man who I thought loved me unconditionally and when he doesn’t say anything else, I explode. “The fuck, Joel! You should have told me as soon as you were unsure. I could have saved the heartbreak of having to tell all our friends and family, while I’m in my fucking wedding dress, that my fiancé doesn’t want to marry me because in his eyes, we ‘don’t add up.’” I air quote don’t add up but I’m on a roll so I keep going. “I have to tell everyone my fiancé has gotten cold feet and, rather than be honest, he kept it a secret until the last fucking minute.” Breathing in deeply, I shake my head. “Get the fuck out, Joel.”
“Ruby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Shaking my head, I stare at my fiancé, I mean ex-fiancé, and through clenched teeth, I angrily hiss, “Get. The. Fuck. Out!”
“Rubes, I’m sorry,” he repeats.
“Get the fuck out,” I cry again and, for emphasis, I pick up my bouquet from the table and throw it at his head. The white roses collide with his face and petals rain down around him. Not wanting to look at him anymore, I turn around and stomp into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.
Leaning against it, I close my eyes and shake my head.
This is un-fucking-believable.
I’ve been dumped at the altar on my wedding day.
My eyes well with tears and then I start cackling like a witch. My breakdown is interrupted when there’s a knock on the door, followed by Sab’s voice. “Ummm, Rubes, why is your bouquet on the floor in pieces?”
Taking a deep breath, I turn around and open the door. Opening my mouth to tell her, I freeze when I see her standing there in her bridesmaid dress. Her hair is all fancy in an updo so it shows off the frilly neckline of her dress. She looks like a princess. “Rubes?” she utters my name and that’s when waterworks start.
Standing in the doorway to the bathroom, I begin to sob and being the friend the she is, without a word, she opens her arms and envelops me in the biggest best friend hug as I break down in her arms.
I’m not sure how long we stand here but finally my sobs stop. Wriggling in her arms, I pull back and stare at my friend. My mouth opens and closes but I don’t know how to voice what’s just happened because I’ve come to realize I’m okay with this not going ahead. I’m upset he left it until the last minute and is leaving me to deal with the fallout, but I’m not upset I’m not getting married today.
Reaching up, she wipes under my eyes and her fingers come away black. I must have the biggest raccoon eyes right now, and that causes me to cry again because my makeup was so pretty.
“Why are you crying?” she murmurs as she takes my hand on her. “What’s happened?”
“Joel called off the wedding and now I have to tell everyone,” I tell her.
From the entrance to the room, a deep voice bellows, “He fucking did what?”