Chapter 7
The house smelled like lasagna and already Sadie had called twice to say she was on time and excited to be home. Even though
dinner was just for the two of them, Vanessa had decorated the table and set out her special Christmas china plates and serving
dishes.
Sadie had been home briefly for Thanksgiving. The dinner had been with Leigh and Maria and their kids, and the time had gone
by in a flash. Christmas break would give Vanessa more time to reconnect with her daughter.
Sadie was halfway through her first year and Christmas was a week away! They had every reason to celebrate!
Of course, maybe just the tiniest part of all of this was to help Sadie feel comfortable when Vanessa broke the news about
Ben. An atmosphere to remind her daughter that nothing would ever change between them. Even if Vanessa did have a new friend.
She tried to imagine how difficult the past five months would have been if she hadn’t had the delightful distraction of Ben
Miller. A smile came over her. Ben had been just what she needed.
Vanessa made a quick assessment of tonight’s welcome home dinner for Sadie, and she nodded.
Everything was in order. Lasagna and garlic bread were warm in the oven, the salad freshly tossed with Sadie’s favorite balsamic vinaigrette dressing.
An iced bottle of Gerolsteiner sparkling water sat in the middle of the table. Sadie’s favorite.
Vanessa stared at the clear glass bottle. She could still hear Alan’s voice. “If it’s Sadie we’re celebrating, get that fancy water. The one I can never pronounce.” Some days it was still hard to believe he would never walk through the door again, never celebrate with them each birthday
and Christmas. Maybe even crazier was the fact that today, while she was out with Ben, she hadn’t thought once about Alan.
She looked at her wedding ring and felt the hint of tears. Time was moving her away from those days. Giving her a second chance
at life, which was something she had prayed for. But now that it was happening, her sadness shifted. Not that she couldn’t
stop thinking about Alan.
But today, for the first time, she had.
With everything set, Vanessa wandered into Sadie’s room. The place was just how she’d left it, her bed made, closet neatly
put together. Her desk intact with a dozen small framed photos of her high school days and family moments before Alan had
died. And of course pictures of her and Hudson. Vanessa smiled. Sadie was going to love Ben. It was just a matter of time.
Something on the floor behind Sadie’s headboard caught Vanessa’s eye, and she moved closer to see what it was. She bent down and picked it up as an ache filled her heart. It was Sadie’s little brown bear, the one she’d had since she was in kindergarten.
Vanessa stared at the bear. She’d been in Sadie’s room during the past few months to vacuum, but somehow she’d missed this.
She stroked the little bear’s head. Normally it sat up on Sadie’s pillow, where it had sat until she left for college.
Mister Bear was the one thing Sadie had always held on to when she fell asleep.
But obviously Sadie had left it here when she moved to Reinhardt.
Vanessa picked up the bear, dusted it off, and set it back on Sadie’s pillow. “There.” She patted the little bear. “Sadie
will be glad we found you.”
She heard a sound at the front door and hurried out of Sadie’s room to see her daughter drag a suitcase and two bags into
the house. “Sadie!”
“Mom!” She left her things and ran into Vanessa’s arms. “I missed you so much.”
“Sadie girl. You’re home.” The feel of her daughter in her arms, the smell of her blonde hair and freshly washed clothes.
Her little girl was home, and this time Vanessa couldn’t stop the emotion welling inside her. “It’s so good to see you.”
Once during the semester, Vanessa had visited Sadie at Reinhardt, and the two had shared lunch. It was one of the times she
had spent the afternoon shopping with Ben. Now that her daughter was home, Vanessa definitely felt guilty for not mentioning
Ben before. She should have.
Vanessa studied her. “You look beautiful. School agrees with you.”
“I had to figure it out.” Sadie’s laugh sounded light and carefree. “After the first week it was sort of sink or swim.” She
grabbed her bags and pulled them toward the hallway. “You know what Dad always said. ‘There’s no sinking in this family. Better
find your flippers.’”
“Yes.” Vanessa smiled. “I remember.” Alan had been full of comments like that, words of wisdom that stayed with her and Sadie
and would continue to stay as long as they lived.
Vanessa helped Sadie put her things away. Then they filled their plates and sat at the table. Sadie ran her fingertips over
the fancy lace cloth. “You didn’t have to do all this, Mom.”
“My daughter comes home from college for the first time ever?” Vanessa grinned. “I stopped short of getting a marching band
and a balloon arch, but this?” She looked at the table. “This was the least I could do.”
Vanessa prayed over the meal, asking God to bless their time together and the upcoming dance. As soon as they said, “Amen,”
Vanessa’s questions bubbled to the surface. “Did you take all your finals?”
“I did.” Sadie took another bite of lasagna. “Mom, this might be your best ever.”
“Thank you.” She was glad Sadie had noticed. “The noodles are homemade.”
“Wow! You must’ve been working in the kitchen all day.”
“Yes, well.” A single laugh came from Vanessa. “Not all day. We had the volunteer brunch this morning. Everyone’s getting ready for the dance.” Was this the right time to tell Sadie? Vanessa set down her fork. “Also, after the brunch—”
“The dance is going to be amazing, Mom! I still hope Hudson can come.”
“Right.” Vanessa felt the moment pass. “What about your grades, honey? Have you seen anything from your tests or papers?”
“It all looks good so far.” Sadie’s smile looked a bit more forced.
“You have to watch it because sometimes they enter the wrong grade. Then you have to fight the process and get them to make
the changes before too much time lapses.” Vanessa took a quick breath. “Otherwise, they’ll refuse to go back and correct the
mistake and—”
“Mom.” Sadie held up her hand. Her smile told Vanessa she was done talking about this. “I know all that. I’m trying to be
an adult, like you and Dad taught me.” Sadie seemed to remember her smile. “I know you’re just trying to help, but everything
is okay with my grades.” She took another bite. “What about you? What else have you been up to?”
This was her chance. “Funny you should ask.”
Just then Sadie’s phone rang. She checked the caller ID and grinned at Vanessa. “It’s Ella. I need to take it.” Sadie dropped
her voice to a whisper. “Trouble with her boyfriend. I’ll be right back.”
And just like that, Sadie hurried away from the table and down the hall to her bedroom.
Vanessa could hear her chatting as she ran out of sight.
She studied the table. Sadie had almost finished her dinner.
No telling how long she would talk to Hudson’s sister. They probably had a ton to catch up on.
Vanessa cleared the table and leaned against the counter. She had to tell Sadie about Ben before tomorrow. Like her friends
had pointed out earlier today, she could hardly walk into church at Ben’s side without telling Sadie something.
Or could she?
Sadie never normally felt strained around her mother. What was the feeling—scrutiny or mistrust? Like her mom didn’t think
she had her life together? Whatever it was, Sadie wanted things between them back to normal.
Twenty minutes into the call with Ella, Sadie got a text from Hudson. She grinned. “Your brother wants to FaceTime me.” She
hesitated. “I’m still hoping he’ll be here for the dance.”
“I wouldn’t count on it.” Ella sighed. “My mom told me yesterday. Hudson’s unit has to stay through Christmas.”
“We’ll see.” Sadie could hardly wait to talk to Hudson. “I gotta go. Let’s get together tomorrow after church.”
The call with Ella ended and Sadie positioned her laptop on her desk. She flipped on her small ring light and waited for Hudson’s
call to come through. Service from the Middle East wasn’t always great, but usually they could talk five or ten minutes before
he had to go or the signal died.
A minute later Sadie’s screen lit up. In a blink she and Hudson were looking at each other face-to-face. As if he wasn’t a million miles away with his life on the line. One of Fort Benning’s army Rangers.
“Hi.” His smile melted her heart. “I’ve been thinking about you all afternoon.”
“Me, too.” She raked her fingers through her hair. “What’d you do today?” She didn’t expect an answer. Special Operations
Forces couldn’t tell family and friends much about what they did with their time.
“Patrolled.” He looked tired. “The usual. Did you get your grades?”
“I got A’s in everything but child development.” Sadie made a sad face. “And you already know how I feel about that.”
“My girlfriend’s about to be anything but an education major.” He chuckled. “You have to tell your mom.”
“I know. Maybe tomorrow.” Sadie rested her head on her hand. “How do you think she’ll handle it?”
“I mean, you’ve only wanted to be a teacher since you were, what, in first grade?” Hudson chuckled again, but he wasn’t really
laughing. “No, really. I think she’ll be okay. That’s what college is for, right? Figuring it out.”
Sadie thought about it. Hudson was right. Her mother wouldn’t be mad. They would talk about it and she would understand how
dreams change and directions shift. Surely.
“Hey, Rogers.” The voice from off-screen boomed. “Briefing’s in five minutes.”
Hudson looked toward the voice. “I’ll be there.” After a beat he looked back at Sadie. “I have to go. It’s never enough.”
“No.” Sadie remembered what Ella said. “I talked to your sister. She said you aren’t coming home for Christmas.”
A sigh came from deep inside Hudson. Clearly this wasn’t easy for him. “I’m not. We found out yesterday.” All humor faded
from his expression. “I asked around, but it’s for sure. No one goes home this Christmas. Things are tense.” He looked like
he wanted to say more, but he couldn’t.
“Got it.” Sadie understood. “No dance for you and me.”
“Not this year.” He put his hand on the computer screen and she did the same, their hands touching through the Internet connection.
“You sure you wanna do this, Sadie Mayfield? Date an army Ranger?”
“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate. “I knew what I was getting into when you asked me on that first date.” She paused and allowed
herself to get lost in his eyes. “It won’t always be like this.”
“Rogers, let’s go!” This time the voice barked the order.
“Gotta run.” Hudson held her eyes a moment longer. “Bye, Sadie.”
“Bye. I’m praying for you. Every day.”
Before Hudson could thank her or tell her he loved her, before she could say the same thing, the screen went black. Which
was pretty much how their calls always ended. Army Rangers had little time to themselves while they were deployed. She thought
about her dad and his buddies, the men and women from Fort Benning who gave up everything to keep the country safe. No, the
heavy demands of Hudson’s job didn’t bother Sadie.
They only made her love him more.