Chapter 20 #2
“Didn’t matter if I was at school, at the shop, in church, on a club run—didn’t matter where I was, I was constantly thinking about these perfect tits.
How they feel in my hands, in my mouth. How they bounce when you ride me like this.
” He sucked one nipple into his mouth, hard enough to make me cry out.
Teddy immediately pulled back, catching himself. “Shit, Kels. I’m sorry—”
“Don’t.” I caught his face between my palms, forcing him to look at me. “Don’t apologize for that.”
His brows pinched together, hazel eyes searching mine like he was trying to solve a puzzle. “But I—”
“I liked it,” I whispered, feeling heat flood my cheeks at the admission. “The biker side—the dirty talk. I’ve always liked it.”
Teddy went completely still beneath me, his expression shifting from apologetic to utterly dumbfounded. “You what?”
“I said I liked it,” I repeated, more firmly this time. “When you get like that—all rough and filthy—it makes me feel...” I trailed off, searching for the right words. “I don’t know—desired. Wanted. Like you can’t help yourself.”
“Kels, I’ve spent over thirty years trying not to talk to you like—” He stopped, jaw working. “Didn’t want you to think I was disrespecting you. Treating you like some club whore instead of my wife.”
“But I didn’t feel disrespected,” I argued, rocking against him to emphasize my point. “I felt powerful. Knowing I could make you lose control like that? That I was the reason you couldn’t keep it together?” I bit my lip. “God, Teddy, that’s incredibly hot.”
“You’re telling me you wanted me to talk dirty to you, but you never…” He trailed off, looking almost more confused than before. “You always seemed to pull away or go quiet on me—”
“Because I was embarrassed!” I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat.
“We had kids, Teddy. I was Perfect Kelsey, mother of three. Mothers aren’t supposed to get wet when their husbands come home from a club run, all sweat and testosterone.
Or want their husband to call them filthy names and manhandle them during sex.
I thought there was something wrong with me, like it was wrong to want the things I did sexually. ”
I wanted to take it back as soon as I said it, to laugh the entire thing off as a joke, and retreat to safer ground. After years of feeling invisible, of moving through life like a ghost in my own story, being suddenly seen was like staring into the sun.
“There’s nothing—no, eyes on me, baby—don’t pull away.
” Teddy sat up straighter, one arm banding behind my back to keep me in place.
“Not a goddamn thing wrong with you. You’re allowed to want.
You’re allowed to be more than one thing at once.
Jesus, I held back after Addie came along, thinking you wanted something else.
Thinking you needed me to be someone I wasn’t. ”
My tongue darted out to wet my lips. “I just—I just wanted you, Teddy”, I whispered. “However you came.”
We stared at each other, processing the weight of what we’d both just admitted. All those years of just existing in the same space and going through the motions, trying to be what we thought the other needed instead of just being ourselves.
Something snapped behind his eyes—some restraint he’d been holding onto for decades, finally giving way. He pistoned his hips up into me. Hard.
“So what you’re saying,” he rasped, catching my hair in his fist and tugging my head back until my throat was exposed to his teeth, “is that we wasted a lot of fucking time being polite to each other in bed.”
“We’ve got time to make up for it now, figure out what we like.
” My breaths were coming in short gasps as I rode him faster, chasing the heat building in my lower belly.
“All the things we were too scared or too tired or too stuck in our patterns to—oh God, right there. Don’t stop—” I moaned, loud and shameless.
From somewhere outside came the low rumble of machinery—probably a snowplow clearing one of the access roads, finally—but I couldn’t focus on it, couldn’t concentrate on anything except Teddy’s words and his hands and his mouth.
“That’s it, baby. Ride it. Take what you need.” His voice went gravelly. “You’re so goddamn wet for me, Kels. Can you hear it?”
I dragged my fingernails down his thick thighs, babbling something that may or may not have been a response.
My glutes and thighs were burning from the exertion, muscles trembling with the effort of keeping pace, but I was too far gone to care.
“Teddy,” I gasped, my movements becoming erratic as the pressure built. “I’m—I’m close—”
“Keep doing that, and I’m not gonna last.”
“Don’t you dare stop,” I begged, one hand dropping between my legs while Teddy’s hips snapped up to meet mine.
“I’ve got you. Take what you need.” He brushed my hand aside to strum my clit with his thumb while pressing his fingers into my lower belly, right over his dick.
“Come on, baby,” he gritted out, visibly hanging on by a thread. “Need you to get there. Come for me.”
I frantically moved my hips forward, like I was scooting up to a table before coming apart. Black spots danced in front of my eyes, and I was vaguely aware of Teddy’s hips stuttering and me loudly sobbing his name as my body pulsed around him in waves.
Which is likely why neither of us noticed the rumbling outside growing louder until it was too late.
The front door burst open with a bang that would have sent us flying apart if we hadn’t been so tangled together.
“Surprise! Guess who’s—oh my Jesus!”