Chapter 46
forty-six
LEXI
The guys all cheer when Rachel and I meet up with them a few blocks away from the arena.
“Dude.” Griffin approaches Rachel with his palm up for a high five. “The guys and I are buying you drinks tonight. The way you got in that asshole’s head was epic.”
Rachel’s face splits with a huge smile and, after returning Griffin’s high five, she curtsies. “Thank you. Happy to help anytime you guys play here.”
“Hell, yeah,” Griffin says.
After giving Ryder a kiss hello, I make introductions, then we walk to the bar. We get some looks because it’s rare to see so many big guys together like this, and while I personally think Ryder is the hottest guy among them, I can admit that they’re all good-looking. But here, they can be relatively anonymous. A few people seem to recognize them, but they’re obviously fans leaving the game. And since we’re the visiting team, no one says anything or bothers any of the guys. It’s nice. Though I am looking out for my dad. My head is on a swivel.
“He’s not here, baby,” Ryder murmurs in my ear. He’s got his arm slung around my shoulder, and he pulls me close so he can kiss the top of my head. “You can relax.”
I blow out a deep breath. “I know. I’m being ridiculous. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I just want you to relax and have fun. I’m excited to get to know your best friend. It’s too bad Adam is out of town. He sounds cool.”
“He is,” Rachel says, looping her arm through my free one. “I’ll bring him to a game the next time you’re in town. How great would it be to have a reason to visit us more often?” she asks me. Her eyes are bright and excited, and I have to admit, it is nice that I have another excuse to visit them. Not that I need an excuse.
“I’ll try to convince her to come to every away game we have here,” Ryder says. “Especially if the two of you make more signs like the ones you made tonight.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “You have no idea how fun it was to watch Chase lose his cool over them.”
“What’s the deal with you two?” Rachel asks. Her curiosity has been piqued, and my best friend loves tea.
“Honestly? I don’t even remember what we were fighting about, but we got into it one night a couple months after my dad died. Chase was being a huge dick, and we ended up beating the shit out of each other. I tried to apologize after, but he wouldn’t hear it.” Ryder’s handsome face contorts into a deep frown. “He was one of my housemates. I considered him a brother. It hurt to lose him after I lost my dad, and now we can’t stand to be near each other.”
“That sucks,” Rachel says. “What a dick.”
Ryder shrugs, but I know how much it hurts him. “Now I get to call these idiots brothers.” He nods in the direction of his teammates. Griffin is trying to convince Logan to give him a piggyback ride, Maddox is scolding Griffin, and Sebastian just watches with a paternal smile. “So, I guess everything turned out all right in the end.”
“Still.” Rachel’s eyes narrow. “I’m going to go to as many games as I can and make Bowen’s life a living hell.”
That has my boyfriend barking out a laugh. “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”
“Don’t hurt my girl and you won’t.”
Ryder’s fingers tighten on my hip. “Don’t worry. I have no intention of hurting Lexi.”
“I wish you were coming to the game tomorrow.” Ryder presses me to his body in a long, sweet hug. “But I’m glad you’re getting time with Rachel. She seems great.”
“She is. And she likes you, so I guess I’ll keep you.”
He laughs at that, but he doesn’t realize how serious I am. If Rachel had hated him, I don’t know what I would have done. “Thank god. Because I’m definitely keeping you.” Leaning down, Ryder slants his mouth over mine in a slow, sweeping kiss. “Have breakfast with me our last morning here? I’ll sneak out of the hotel early and meet you somewhere. There’s no way I’ll be able to wait until we get home to spend time alone with you.”
When I glance at Rachel, she nods. Of course, she’s listening in on our conversation. “Okay,” I tell him. “Let’s do it. I already miss you.”
“You two are disgustingly sweet,” Rachel comments.
Logan grunts next to her. “Aren’t they? I’m getting a cavity from watching this.”
Griffin slaps Logan upside the head, much to Logan’s irritation. “Dude. Shut the fuck up. One day, you’ll fall in love and we’re going to give you so much hell.”
His words make my cheeks heat and butterflies alight in my belly. Ryder and I haven’t said those three little words to each other. Is that what his friends think? That we’re in love? Or did Ryder say something to them? Whatever the case, he doesn’t seem nearly as embarrassed as I am by Griffin’s casual use of the word. Ryder just shakes his head, rolls his eyes, and cups the back of my head to pull me in for another kiss. This one is teasing and playful.
His eyes dance when he pulls away. “You ladies have fun tomorrow.” He lets go of me long enough to give my best friend a hug. “I’m glad we got to hang out, Rachel. We’ll have to do it again.”
“Agreed,” she says.
Ryder turns to give me one last kiss on the forehead. “I’ll text you the name of the restaurant. And you can call me whenever, okay?”
God, he’s adorable. He clearly doesn’t want to leave. Even though I’m desperate for some bestie time, I get it. I don’t want to leave him, either. “I’ll call you, don’t worry. Good luck at tomorrow’s game. I’ll see you the following morning.”
“All right,” Sebastian says when Ryder looks like he’s going to kiss me again. He grabs the back of Ryder’s shirt and gives him a tug. “We need to get back to the hotel, and the ladies need some girl time. It was nice to meet you, Rachel. Lexi, we’ll see you later.”
Everyone exchanges goodbyes, then Rachel and I hail a cab. Ryder watches us drive away until the car makes a left-hand turn and we lose sight of each other.
“Oh girl, you two have it so bad.”
Sighing, I let my head flop back against the headrest. “I know.”
“And don’t think I missed the fact that he didn’t protest when Griffin said you two were in love.”
“I know.” Butterflies take flight in my stomach again.
Rachel studies me. “Is he the one?”
He could be. But I’m not sure I’ve let myself go there because my dad complicates things. Even if Ryder is in love with me, I don’t expect him to choose me over his career, if push comes to shove. Not that my dad would ever allow that to happen. Still. In those quiet moments before I fall asleep, I picture us together. When my eyes grow heavy and my body relaxes, I can’t help imagining what our lives could be like.
A cute house somewhere. A small wedding, surrounded by friends and family. Maybe a kid or two, many years down the line. But when those images try to invade my mind during the day, I push them away. It all feels too fragile and tenuous. And, despite Ryder’s sweet words and heart-melting actions, there’s a deep part of me that doesn’t believe I’m worth choosing. Not when it becomes inconvenient to do so. After all, my dad never has. And he’s my dad.
“It’s okay to be scared,” Rachel murmurs, giving my hand a squeeze. “But I think you owe it to yourself and Ryder to be honest about your feelings.”
“I know.” I blow a breath out through my closed lips, making them vibrate. “I think he’s the one.”
The cab pulls up in front of Rachel’s building. She pays the driver and aims a blinding smile in my direction. “I think he is too.”
We’re both laughing as we spill out of the cab and make our way into her building and up to her apartment. Admitting my feelings out loud has me feeling light and free. Like I’m nothing more than a fluffy cloud dancing across the sky.
“Do you have anything hot to wear to breakfast the day after tomorrow?” Rachel asks as we hang our coats.
“Hot? No. I wasn’t planning to go on a date while I was here.”
My best friend claps her hands. “Then, tomorrow we should grab lunch, do some shopping, and help you figure out how you’re going to tell that hot man of yours that you’re in love with him.”
“Rach…”
“Nope.” She shakes her head at me. “There’s no talking me out of this. I don’t give a crap what your dad thinks, Lex. That man is perfect for you, and he worships the ground you walk on. You’re going to take what you want, and your dad will just have to accept it.”
Rachel is vastly overestimating my father’s ability to accept things he doesn’t like, but I can’t deny that I want Ryder.
“Fine,” I say. “We’ll go shopping, and I’ll consider telling Ryder how I feel. But you’re going to help me think of ways to break it to my dad.”
She pulls me into a tight hug. “That, I can do. Now I need to go to bed. Heckling Chase Bowen wore me out.”
Laughing, I squeeze Rachel right back. “I think it wore him out too.”
We say our good nights as we break apart. My heart is full of gratitude for my amazing friend. And my head is full of all the ways telling Ryder I love him could go perfectly right. Or terribly wrong.