Chapter 48
forty-eight
LEXI
Every muscle in my body tenses at my dad’s harsh tone.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit .
Ryder’s spine straightens, and he shifts, positioning himself in front of me. A buffer to protect me from the red-faced anger of my father. The other guys lose their good-natured goofiness in an instant and take an unconscious step closer. I’m surrounded by a wall of six-foot men and their impressive muscles. It’s sweet and comforting, but I know they won’t keep my dad from saying what he’s going to say.
“I asked a damned question, and I expect an answer,” my dad growls, taking another step closer. His gray eyes narrow as he looks between Ryder and me. “What are you doing here, Alexis?”
“Coach,” Ryder starts, his palms outstretched. As if he can placate the man shooting lasers out of his eyeballs.
“Don’t you fucking Coach me, Ryder. I asked my daughter a question, and I expect an answer.”
The way my dad glares at me makes me want to shrivel up into a tiny little ball. If I thought for even a second that his anger was because he was worried I was being taken advantage of, that would be one thing. But I know better. I know better, and I’m dreading what he’ll say before all of this is over.
I want to curl into a little ball, but I won’t. I force my spine straight, push my shoulders back, and step up beside Ryder. “Dad. If you’d like to talk, we can talk. But not like this.”
“The hell, we won’t, Alexis. You are my daughter and this is my team. You will answer my damned question, and it better not be the answer I think is coming.”
I can’t help it. I bark out a bitter laugh. “Oh, yeah? And what answer do you think that is, Dad?”
“Coach,” Ryder interrupts, drawing my dad’s attention back to him. “Look, I get that every dad is protective of his daughter, but I can assure you, I only have the best of intentions with Lexi. Your daughter is an incredible woman, and I know how lucky I am that she ever even gave me a second look.”
“When did this start?” My dad ignores Ryder, aiming the question at me. The words are sharp and pointed. An arrow tightly nocked.
Shaking my head, I tell him. “It started when you gave him the keys to the family cabin. Where I was staying for my Christmas break.”
My dad is silent for a moment at that. “You said you had plans for Christmas.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Plans to spend the week alone at the cabin.”
Every Rogues player not already on the bus watches us. Their eyes ping back and forth, like they’re watching a table tennis match. One with unusually high stakes. My dad serves the ball, and I volley it back.
“I thought you were spending the holiday with friends.”
With a sardonic laugh, I roll my eyes. “You assumed I was with friends so you wouldn’t have to ask. Because if you’d asked, you would have had to feel bad that you didn’t try all that hard to get me to spend it with you.”
I can almost feel the pity wafting off the guys around us. The frigid Chicago air is thick with it. But I don’t need their pity. This has been my reality for long enough that I’ve found ways to cope. Ryder wraps his arm around my waist. My dad narrows his eyes at the offered comfort, but Ryder doesn’t flinch away. I fucking love him for it. I love him. I love him, and I’ve never told him.
It may be too late now.
“You know what, Alexis?” My dad crosses his arms over his chest and looks down his nose at me like I’m some petulant child. “I’m sick of your attitude. It was one thing when you were a hormonal teenager, but this?” He shakes his head. “This is something else.”
My chest squeezes sharply. I suck in a breath, feeling like I’ve been slapped. Or shot with the arrow of his words. “Excuse me?”
“Coach,” Ryder says, a warning in his tone. My dad ignores it.
“You’ve never appreciated the responsibility I hold as the coach of this team. People depend on me, Alexis. These men, their spouses and kids, hell, even the concession workers. You have no idea the weight resting on my shoulders, while you’re throwing tantrums about how I don’t spend enough time with you or whining about how I missed some silly school thing.
“All you can think about is yourself. Even now. You’re a grown woman, and you still don’t understand that entire families depend on me to make sure this team is a success.”
The world goes utterly still and silent, save for the roaring in my ears.
Tantrums.
Whining.
Families depending on him.
I depended on him. I depended on him, and he was never there. Don’t I matter? Don’t I count?
“Coach,” Ryder growls. His fingers dig into my hip. I’m not sure if he’s trying to tether me to him or tether himself to me, so he doesn’t lunge at my father.
The bitterest laugh scrapes itself out of my throat. Then another. And another. Soon, I can’t stop, and a rogue tear slips down my face. “What, exactly, are you getting at, Dad? Like you said, I’m a big girl now. If you have something to say, fucking say it.”
My dad scoffs. “I knew you were desperate for my attention, Alexis, but this?” He points at Ryder. “This is taking things too far. I won’t let you distract one of my best players and bring him down, just so you can get back at me for some perceived slight. You won’t ruin his career or set this team back. I won’t let you.”
His words knock the air right out of my lungs. All I can do is gape at the man who was supposed to love and protect me as he finally gives voice to what he really thinks of me. I shouldn’t be surprised. This shouldn’t hurt.
And yet.
I feel every stupid girlish hope I’ve held on to that my dad may step up one day and love me the way I deserve turn to ash. I feel the emptiness those childish hopes leave in my chest when they crumble and blow away in the raging violence of his words.
He actually believes I would date Ryder just to get back at him? That I would play with Ryder’s heart with the intention of breaking it, so I could fuck with my dad’s chance to take the Rogues to the Cup?
I stagger back a step and clutch my chest as Ryder and the rest of the guys start shouting. I don’t hear what they’re saying. The roaring in my ears is too loud. I should have expected something like this, but to hear the words leave his mouth… I’m lost.
I want to run. I want to find some private place, where I can scream at the unfairness of it all, then cry my eyes out.
“How fucking dare you!” Ryder shouts before he wraps his arms around my shaking form.
“Listen, son, I’m just looking out for you and this team. I love my daughter, but she’s not good for you. You’re going places, kid, and she’ll just try to hold you back. Same way her mother tried to hold me back.”
A strangled sob tears out of me. My mom held him back? All she ever did was support him. Love him. Take care of the house and the bills and me . But nothing she did was ever good enough for Arthur Cross. How could I have expected to be any different?
Feeling like a wild animal stuck in a trap, I push at Ryder’s chest, desperate to get away from here. Thrashing and flailing, I struggle against his hold. But he won’t let me go.
I need him to let me go. I need to get out of here.
I knew this would blow up in my face.
How could I have been so stupid? How could I have let myself want this with Ryder? He’s either going to destroy his career for me, or he’ll realize I’m more trouble than I’m worth. Either way, my dad is right—I’m ruining Ryder’s life. Because I am selfish. All I’ve been able to think about is how much I want to be loved by him. How much I want someone to put me first.
Why would Ryder choose me, when my own father won’t? Unless it’s out of guilt. I should take the choice out of his hands. Set Ryder free. I should tell him this is over.
Except, I can’t seem to make the words come out of my mouth.
I love Ryder. So much. And I don’t want to drag him down with me. If the words won’t come, I’ll just run.
I push against his chest again, needing to escape.
RYDER
Lexi’s eyes are wild and filling with tears as she struggles to escape my arms. But I don’t let her go. I’ll never let her go.
Alexis Genevieve Cross is mine, and I will have her back. Damn the consequences.
“Baby,” I murmur, trying to soothe her. “Baby, shh. It’s okay. You’re okay.”
I can’t believe the bullshit that just spewed out of Coach’s mouth like raw sewage from a busted line. If the shouts and objections from my teammates are any indication, they can’t believe it, either.
Here I was, prepared to defend my intentions to the man and reassure him I care deeply about his daughter, and he’s more concerned with my career and the team? What the actual fuck?
“Let me go, Ryder,” Lexi sobs. “Please let me go.”
“Can’t do that, Oscar.” I’m barely able to push the words past what feels like a boulder in my throat. Her pain threatens to choke me. “Never letting you go.”
“Please,” she cries. And when she looks up at me with devastation etched into the set of her red-rimmed green eyes, it takes every ounce of my resolve not to haul off and punch Coach straight in his stupid, hateful face.
Cupping her cheek, I press my forehead to hers. “Alexis Cross, don’t you understand by now?”
She stills, searching my face.
“I’m never letting you go, because I’m so fucking in love with you, it’s ridiculous. So in love that I’m about to get fired for breaking my boss’s nose. I have been from nearly the first moment you opened your mouth and accused me of trying to garrote you. You’re not going anywhere, Oscar. You’re mine.”
Lexi sobs again, but this time, she’s not trying to push away from me. This time, she sags against my chest as the fight drains out of her. “You love me?”
Tilting her chin up so she’s forced to meet my eyes, I nod. “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, but yes. I love you more than I thought possible, baby. And as soon as I’m done yelling at your dad, I’m going to show you just how much.”
A watery laugh bubbles out of her. “I love you too. I’m so glad you didn’t turn out to be a serial killer.”
With a quiet chuckle at her words, I turn to Sebastian and silently ask him to support my girl while I deal with her asshole father. Bash nods and pulls her into a hug. The rest of the guys close ranks around her at my back.
Every last trace of softness falls from my expression as I turn to face Coach Cross. The man shakes his head, like I’m some idiot being taken for a ride. It pisses me off even more.
“Listen, son, I know how tempting a pretty face can be, but?—”
“Don’t you dare call me son,” I growl. “Coming from a father like you, it’s a damned insult. Especially after the way you just treated your actual daughter.”
Coach’s eyes widen with surprise, but I’m not done.
“You know, a part of me feels sorry for you. You’ve got this incredible daughter who’s strong and smart and hilarious, and you don’t even know her. It’s a travesty, honestly. And I’d say you’re missing out on time with the child you raised, but you didn’t fucking raise her, did you?”
Coach frowns. “Watch it, rookie. I’m still your boss.”
I can’t help it. I laugh. “You know what? I don’t care.”
“Are you really ready to throw a promising career away over a woman?” Coach scoffs, shaking his head. Lexi sniffles behind me as she undoubtedly tries to hide her hurt. God, how can he be such a blind idiot?
A sharp pang of longing and loss for my own father hits me. Not just because I miss him, but because he would have adored Alexis. He would have treated her like his own. He would have happily stepped up and been the father Lexi always deserved. But he’s gone, and the only dad Lexi’s ever going to have is standing in front of me with utter disdain on his face.
“No,” I finally say. “I’m not going to throw my career away for a woman.” Lexi gasps behind me, so I hurry to finish my thought. “But I’ll throw it away for Lexi, if that’s what it takes. Because she’s worth it. Something you should understand, but for some unfathomable reason, don’t.”
Arthur Cross glares at his daughter. “Is this what you wanted?”
“Don’t fucking talk to her,” I snarl, stepping in front of her and ensuring he can no longer see her. “This isn’t her doing. It’s yours. No one here is throwing around threats and absolutes, except you.”
“I thought this was your dream, kid? The best players don’t let themselves get distracted by women and relationships.”
It’s my turn to scoff. I motion to Maddox. One of our best players and one of the strongest guys in the whole league. “Graves doesn’t seem distracted by his relationship. In fact, his stats have improved since entering a committed relationship.”
“Sure,” Coach says, rolling his eyes. “Until his woman wants more attention than he can give, or he finds himself stuck with a kid who keeps him up all night and takes his focus away from the game.”
What. An. Ass.
“All due disrespect, Coach,” Griffin says from beside me, “but shut the fuck up. I feel sorry for your ex-wife. And Lexi certainly deserves better.”
Coach’s face flushes crimson. I can almost see physical steam starting to pour out of his ears. “This doesn’t concern you, Wright.”
“You’re right,” I say. “This concerns me and your daughter. And since we’re both adults, who are more than capable of making decisions about our own lives and relationships, I’m telling you that it doesn’t concern you either.”
“I’m your coach,” Cross splutters.
“You are. And that’s why I’m warning you that, as much as I respect you as a coach, if you try to retaliate against me or Lexi, I’ll be forced to create the biggest fucking PR nightmare you’ve ever seen. Can you imagine the headlines?” I stretch my hands out in front of me as though they’re a flashing marquee. “ Rogues coach and raging misogynist rejects his own daughter. Or Ryder Hanson tells all about retaliatory treatment from head coach. Or maybe they’ll turn us into some Romeo and Juliet love story. That would really get the fans in our corner.”
“Hell,” Maddox drawls, “we all love your daughter. Maybe we’d give some interviews too.”
Pride surges in my chest. Pride and gratitude. Because these guys are in my corner. They’re my brothers now. And they won’t only have my back, but Lexi’s too. I’m not alone anymore. And even if shit hits the fan, I’ve got a family again. It may look a little different, but family is family. Whatever form it takes.
Coach Cross shifts on his feet, his face drawn into a harsh scowl. He studies each of the men around me before his eyes land on me. “You sure you want to do this, Hanson?”
It’s not my coach I look at when I answer. It’s his daughter, with her wide, hopeful eyes that are more beautiful than any emerald.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”