14. We have one question. #3
Quinn coughed another laugh out. I grabbed the nearest available object, a hardback reference book, and dropped it on him. A satisfying thump heralded a grunt and a groan.
“Proof of a relationship and confirmation of your…”
“Very active and happy sex life?” I provided, unable to stop from smiling. Since I was certain my words pleased Quinn, I dropped another book on him.
“Yes, that. If you can provide verification, the CDC can ensure no one will bother you in the future.”
“How the hell am I supposed to provide verification? Should I corner my man and record it or something? Should I have sex in a public place with him? Haven’t you heard about privacy, sir?
Is this so-called gorgon prince a pervert who just wants a chance to watch?
If he wants pornography, tell him to get it off the internet. ”
Quinn sounded like he was dying on the floor, so I dropped a third book on him.
When that didn’t stop him from laughing, I grabbed a three-inch binder, which seemed to do the trick.
“I’m not a broodmare to be put up for sale to the most fashionable stud.
What sort of legal verification would work?
Because I promise you, some dimwit rapist prince isn’t having anyone poke at me to confirm my virginity. Are we understood?”
“A marriage license would be sufficient to prove an engagement, if you can find a man willing to sign one. They last a period of six months before they expire. I’m sure if you have an actual boyfriend, this wouldn’t prove too problematic for you to acquire.”
Wow. The head of the CDC had a set of brass balls on him, that was for certain. “Let me get this straight. I’m going to be sexually harassed by someone of another species unless I coerce someone into signing a marriage certificate.”
“Essentially, yes. In your file, you are described as an argumentative and difficult individual. Your performance record is top notch. Our records also indicate you’re currently unemployed. I can offer you a lucrative position.”
“That position better not be as a surrogate, Mr. Clemmends.”
“Bring me proof of your non-single marital status and we’ll discuss the proposal for your employment, Miss Gardener.” He hung up on me. The bastard had hung up on me. I listened to the dial tone for a solid minute before I returned the phone to its cradle.
An amused, unharmed Quinn got to his knees beside his desk. “You’re speechless. Such a rare moment. I need to really enjoy this.”
“I have to prove I’m not a virgin and that my marital status is not eternally single, Quinn. How the hell am I supposed to prove I’m not a virgin?”
“We could—”
“Don’t even think about it, buddy.”
He grinned at me, gathered the dropped books, and set them on his desk.
“It’s easy. I’ll ask an angel or an incubus to confirm.
Preferably an angel. An incubus would take one look at you and want to experience you for himself.
I don’t share. As for the other part, I have an idea.
” Picking up his phone, Quinn dialed a number.
“Commissioner? It’s Sam. I need the day off—and possibly part of tomorrow—to deal with the psycho ex-wife, another gorgon issue, and some personal business.
I also broke my phone again, so I need to pick up a new one.
I’ll give you a call on it later today.”
“You’re a terrible police chief, Quinn,” I muttered.
“Yes, there’s a woman in my office. No, she isn’t one of my cops. Okay. Fine.” Quinn offered me the phone. “He wants to talk to you.”
Puzzled, I took the phone and perched on the edge of Quinn’s desk. “Hello?”
A man with a deep voice chuckled. “You must be the mysterious Bailey Gardener.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I saw a picture of you with your hand in Sam’s back pocket this morning. At, if I’m not mistaken, the Plaza. I have another picture of him carrying you like a princess in his arms in front of 120 Wall Street. I was wondering when I’d get to speak with you.”
Oh boy. “It’s really not my fault this time, sir.”
The commissioner laughed. “Call me Jack, dear. I’ve already been informed of your gorgon problems, especially the one you discouraged yesterday.”
“Yippee.” I sighed.
“If you’re going to do anything nefarious with Sam that may have long-lasting repercussions, I recommend Virginia. It’s closer than Ohio and enjoys the same lax laws.” Jack hung up.
“People keep hanging up on me, Quinn.”
He took the phone out of my hand and returned it to its cradle. “It’s okay.”
“He recommends Virginia for anything nefarious we might be planning. I wasn’t aware we were planning anything nefarious, Quinn.”
Laughing, Quinn grabbed his coat and headed for the door. “Move your ass, woman. We’re going on a drive.”
“We are?”
“Yes. Move it.” Yanking open his office door, he stuck his head out into the main room. “Perkins, call Longville in. I’m leaving for the day. I need two volunteers going off shift to come with me.”
“I’m in,” Perky replied. “Calling Longville now.”
Nilman stood. “I already volunteered, sir.”
“Get your stuff. We leave in five.”