1. If I didn’t get a full night of sleep soon, someone would die #2
“A new pillow, pajamas, a necklace as badass as she is—her words, for the record. I think she was running out of ideas, as the rest is new pieces of tack listed individually. She claims I feed her too much. As such, her old set is pinching.”
“The tack will be hard to get in time for Christmas, but the other stuff is feasible. Have you told her about the proposal yet?”
I grimaced. After I had married Bailey, the CDC had started looking into every option possible to unload my wife onto the NYPD, and the NYPD had taken to the idea with disturbing enthusiasm.
“Not yet. I’m worried how she’ll take her reclassification.
She’s convinced the CDC is going to poke her some more.
The proposal to work for the NYPD might break her brain for a few weeks. ”
“Everyone at work already knows.”
“I know.” I sighed at her final message, which informed me she’d have her phone off for the rest of the day. “It looks like her asshole boss has her scheduled in for today, too.”
“Do you think she’ll make a good chief?”
I knew she would—if I could convince her to give the job a shot. “We’re going to find out, and when she freaks out, I’m going to tell her it’s her fault for tailing me at work while wearing her fur coat. I should be grateful she’s figured out how to reverse the transformation on her own.”
It had taken me tripping over my own feet and spraining my ankle to do it, but once her panic had worn off, something had clicked in her head, and with a little effort, she could force herself to change back to human.
She still needed a transformative to become a full unicorn, but I’d caught her with a pair of horse ears once trying to gain full control over her shapeshifting abilities.
I, rather wisely in my opinion, hadn’t told anyone she might be able to transform into a cindercorn without the help of transformatives.
Perkins sighed. “You have to give the commissioner credit; if she’s partnered with you, it’ll take an army to get near you. Say what you will about the Calamity Queen, but when it comes to you, she’ll set the world on fire to keep you safe.”
“Or a chunk of Wall Street.”
“No one in Manhattan is stupid enough to piss her off after that.”
I snorted, fighting my smile over my wife’s antics. “She braided my grandfather’s snakes last week because he wouldn’t let us participate in an adoption match.”
“As prospective parents?”
“Temporary foster, but she’s got a soft heart for the kids.
My grandfather thought Bailey would be too vicious, and if I join a match, everyone will back out because of my rank.
It’s unfair. Bailey also thinks it’s unfair as she’s eager and able to beat anyone who even thinks about hurting a kid.
She hasn’t said anything yet about wanting kids, but she’s been eyeing her birth control in the morning.
As far as I can tell, she’s debating between lighting it on fire or tossing it in the trash can.
I’m not even sure if she’s using it right now at all. I try not to pry.”
“She’s something else. She really hasn’t worked up the nerve to ask you about kids? She doesn’t even need birth control with you. You can control your own fertility—and hers.”
“She feels better about herself when she’s responsible about when we become parents. She has so many self-esteem problems I can’t undermine the work she’s doing—and she’s gaining confidence in that department, at least.”
“Still. I’m worried about her. Maybe you need to make the first move?”
I shook my head. “It took her months to work up the nerve to ask for presents, Perkins. I’ve already gotten things for her, but she’s mortified even asking me to pick up groceries. She’ll get there. She’s already improving, but it takes time for someone to get over what she’s been through.”
I suspected most of her hesitation involved old, buried trauma involving her asshole parents.
She’d spent her entire life believing nobody wanted her in the world, and she struggled to come to terms with how she was my everything.
Perkins snorted. “We need to work on her self-esteem issues.”
“We?”
“You have met your wife, right? You’re going to need all the help you can get. Did she include the measurements for her new tack?”
“She did.”
“Since when has Bailey ever made things easy on you?”
“I’m definitely worried about that,” I admitted, praying she hadn’t found some new way to scare the life out of me.
Bailey
I had time to second, triple, and quadruple guess our plan to escape life for a while before Perkette confirmed our husbands had abandoned their morning sweep to go to work.
“They talked for longer than I expected,” Perky’s wife muttered. “It’s likely Arthur’s fault. He’s a thinker, and when he’s done thinking, he starts talking.”
“He has a name other than Perky?”
“When he’s been bad or has to sign legal papers. Some people even call him Officer Perkins so they lower their chances of being arrested.”
“I’m still trying to figure out how a doctor became a cop,” I admitted.
“The same way you married one of the hottest men in Manhattan. He sucked at being a doctor but makes one hell of a good cop.”
“I don’t see how him sucking at being a doctor relates to Quinn marrying me. I was a good barista, damn it!”
“You’d make a better cop, and no matter what people tell you, you’re a shitty CDC contractor because you hate being a living janitor. You want something more, and we both know it. My man’s a much better cop because he feels like he makes more of a difference.”
Understanding stabbed me deep in the chest. “He lost patients.”
Cops lost battles all the time. Sometimes, they arrived too late to the scene of the crime, stuck with solving a murder when they’d wanted nothing more than to prevent the death.
Sometimes, there was just nothing they could do to change circumstances, but I respected their drive to make a real difference.
Doctors waged a daily battle, and they lost as often as they won. Doctors faced death far more frequently than cops did.
“The first time he lost a kid in the ER, I knew he wouldn’t last long as a doctor.
Part of his soul died that day. I saw an ad for forensics work, so I left it on his desk.
He is who he is, so he went all in and became a cop.
He didn’t want to solve the mystery in a lab.
He wanted to get his hands dirty trying to save the world.
He’s doing work he takes pride in now. That’s what you need, too.
After you get some sleep and we force our men to join us on an adventure, of course. ”
Of course. I laughed so hard I struggled to breathe. “Me? A cop? They’d look at my magic rating and toss my app. While laughing at me.”
“Your realistic magic rating is on par with your husband’s. I don’t know why the CDC hasn’t upgraded you yet.”
I understood why, and I shrugged. “Cheaper labor.”
“Whatever you say, Mrs. Millionaire. Get your tack in the car, grab your bag, and pick me up already. I’ve reached my quota of lurking in the bushes spying on our spouses. I want a good head start before they figured out we bailed town. Move it, woman!”
As I didn’t want Perkette to ram her foot up my ass, I shut up and did as told.
Quinn
A pile of paperwork, which included my wife’s employment file, her boss, and Commissioner Jack Dowry waited in my office.
I regretted having spent the time doing my sweep when I could’ve stayed in bed with Bailey for a few extra minutes.
I needed fortification when dealing with two doses of trouble.
“Commissioner Dowry, Mr. Clemmends,” I greeted, determined to remain cordial despite my desire to shift and give my wife’s boss a full dose of my gorgon powers. “What can I do for you this morning?”