14. Sometimes, the simplest solutions worked the best. #2
I bobbed my head, careful to avoid stabbing anyone with my horn. “Pets okay?”
“Both are taking a nap in the upstairs conference room. Archambault is watching them.”
I lifted my head, pricking my ears forward. “He here?”
“He is. You want to see him don’t you?”
I whinnied again. “I fight him! For babies.”
Sylvester laughed. “You will later, little one. Don’t worry about that. Go rescue your friend. He’ll hold his word and let you fight him for them.”
I tilted my head and regarded the angel curiously. “You talk better now. Not so for-mal. Good angel. You do good.” As I could be as much of an asshole as an angel, I took a few steps back, reared, and patted his shoulder with a hoof, careful not to claw him. “Good angel,” I repeated.
“You’re something else,” the angel complained.
Pleased I’d finally won a round against the angel, I dropped to all four hooves and trotted after Perkette, my head lifted high.
Quinn
Some days, everything went right to plan.
Others, the Lord of Hell showed up at the FBI building instead of the devil I’d actually called, not that I was actually able to reach Edwin.
The Devil chose to make his appearance as a dark-skinned incubus with a pair of horns.
I had no idea what type of suit he wore, but it worked so well with his wings and tail I almost forgot I stood in the presence of a divine.
“It’s a custom,” Satan announced, giving his cuffs a tug. “I’ll have my tailor make you one. You have plans to properly marry your wife, do you not?”
Devils, like angels, existed to drive me insane, and the Devil did just as good a job as any of the full divines in my family. I sighed. “How much?”
“Already paid in full,” he replied. “I owe you interest for a favor one of my devils owes you but is no longer able to repay.”
That drew me up short. “Pardon?”
“He disobeyed, so he’s in time-out right now.
As he cannot repay a debt owed, I am paying it for you in his stead.
It’s that simple. A bargain is a bargain, and while I’m annoyed you won the bargain against one of my devils, it is my role to ensure all bargains are rightfully paid.
Your end of the bargain is worth more than merely teleporting you and your children and your friend somewhere on the mortal coil, so here we are. ”
Perkins coughed at my side, and Beauty and Sylvester hugged my friend’s legs, staring at Satan with wide eyes.
“Devils take their debts seriously,” I informed Perkins. “And Edwin owed me a rather large favor for cleaning up a complicated mess.”
“That’s a gentle way of putting it,” the Devil replied.
“I’m a rather nosy fellow, so I’ve taken the liberty of snooping to find out what you’re about.
You won’t need to call in any additional favors for what you need, and a suit for you and a dress for your wife will help even the scales.
Babysitting your children will also help even the scales.
My wife adores the little ones, so she’ll keep them safe.
I’ve also made room arrangements you’ll find rather pleasing. ”
The Devil turned his attention to Perkins, and I tensed at his unrepentant grin. “As Chief Quinn was owed a rather substantial favor, I offer a contribution to your Christmas activities with your wife. A lovely woman, your Tiffany. Delightfully chaotic, disgustingly good-natured.”
Perkins’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”
The Devil’s attention returned to me. “I like him. You’re right to keep him underfoot.
This is still insufficient, so I will pay off the remainder of the owed bargain with knowledge.
You won’t even have to guess what the knowledge is—that’s what will make this valuable enough to fully even the scales. ”
“Honestly, I have no idea why angels don’t like you,” I admitted. “You’re strangely likeable.”
“Oh, angels love me. They just hate admitting it. Your grandfather absolutely adores me.”
I couldn’t tell if he was lying or not, but I decided it didn’t matter. “Any ammunition I can use against my grandfather that won’t cost me in a bargain?”
“Of course. Tell him his big brother sends him a hug and kisses. And pretend to kiss him on the cheek for me.”
A laugh burst out of me. Some requests were easy to fulfill, and I’d enjoy watching my grandfather’s reaction. “I’ll do that.”
“As a special bonus, just so your grandfather knows I was toying with his precious little grandson,” the Devil said before giving me a peck on the cheek. “Do pass that along for me, Samuel.”
Perkins choked, but before I could worry something was wrong, he laughed so hard he cried. “This is amazing. The Devil just kissed you. I can’t wait to tell Bailey about this.”
Bailey would spend hours trying to purify my cheek, and I’d enjoy every minute of it. “Please do.”
The Devil laughed. “If only you were a little less balanced. You’d make a glorious incubus.
Alas, I’ll have to be satisfied with the mayhem that trails behind you and your bride.
Here is the knowledge you need to know but that your relatives have been hesitant to inform you.
First, I’m technically one of your grand uncles—or great uncle, depending on which way you like it.
Your grandfather is one of my brothers, which is why that little kiss will drive him wild. ”
Knowledge was power, and my brows shot up at the Devil bothering to claim a relationship with me. “I can’t tell if that’s interesting or terrifying, but I’m going to invite you over for dinner on Easter because I can.”
Satan tossed his head back and laughter boomed out of him.
“I do love when I get to toy with my brothers, and so many of them are flitting around the mortal coil right now. This is related to your heritage as well. I know your grandfather has a rather secretive side to him. Sylvester, he calls himself now?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Well, you’ll like this. Your ‘incubus’ grandfather?
He’s only technically an incubus. I converted him from a devil to a demon at his request, which is partially why you’re so well balanced.
You’re part demon and part devil, which is why you have your particular form.
I figured your grandfather would appreciate a slight edge.
A Christmas present he doesn’t know about. ”
“He doesn’t know?”
“Not even archangels are completely infallible, and it’s difficult enough when they’re stuck on the mortal coil for so long.
Also, a devil turned demon is better able to withstand angelic influence—and be better equipped to handle life in a triad.
Despite appearances, I do like my brothers, even the annoying ones. ”
Something clicked, and I sucked in a breath. “Are you saying my grandfather is an archangel?”
“Why, yes, I may be saying something like that. He’s Sariel.
Christianity and the other religions have a slightly confused view of him.
They like to say he has fallen. He has not.
I suppose being a member of a triad might classify as fallen in their petty views, but he doesn’t feel that way.
It’s the one thing we agree on. Triads are special—and the children of triads are even more special because they do not fall into either of our plans. ”
“They’re what humans were meant to be,” I said, thinking about my mother and how my grandfathers treated her. “And my grandmother was a special woman. It’s more unusual two parts of the triad remained beyond her death, isn’t it?”
“It wouldn’t surprise me if Sariel and Agares form another triad should the right woman come along.
Despite themselves, they enjoy being parents.
Some are just like that. But I doubt that will happen until your mother’s death.
They really enjoy being parents, and they don’t want your mother to experience the loss of a parent again. ”
Family, as always, was complicated. “Agares is not a minor devil.”
“I see your education is not lacking,” the Devil replied, his tone pleased.
“He’s not. And he still has his portfolio.
He’s just enjoying his time on the mortal coil.
It’s rare for the angelic and demonic—or even devilish—sides to be such close friends.
But that’s how triads should be. Some are more chaotic than others, of course. ”
I tried to imagine my grandfathers seriously fighting but couldn’t.
They bickered, but they did so with a certain amount of glee.
“Of course. It’s like putting a cat and a dog who hate each other on base principle in the same room together.
Except in the case of my grandfathers, they like each other. ”
“They’re known to cuddle up on the couch together when feeling sorry for themselves because their wife is gone. They’ll get over it eventually.”
“Are you saying I should invite them over for Easter, too?”
“I’d like that.”
“Consider it done. Bring your wife, too.”
“She’ll like that. Thank you.”
Perkins laughed. “This is the most bizarre conversation I’ve heard in my life, and that’s an accomplishment because I know Bailey.”
“So, with that out of the way, the next piece of information is about your wife.”
I tensed. “Is something wrong with Bailey?”
“No, no. Not at all. She’s just going to be more attuned to her divinity than before, and she’ll need a conduit back.
Anubis provided this already, but I’m going to give you the ability to be a conduit for her.
I have been snooping on Anubis on this matter.
” The Devil’s gaze fell on Sunny, who wagged her tail.
He smiled, and the gentleness of his expression startled me.
“You’re a most excellent conduit, but two paths back is better than one, and he has the appropriate heritage as well.
Anubis is simply too kind to be willing to discomfort his descendant.
I’ve no scruples about torturing my nephew a little for his benefit. ”
“I’m against torture as a general rule, but if it will help Bailey, I’ll do whatever is necessary.”