20. Your confidence is going to get you bit one of these days. #2
“Of course. As I said, we’re not infallible, and we’re as curious as humans at times. And for those of us who have mortal children, we’re more inclined to put in the effort. Mostly. But I would suggest you not judge your divine parents harshly. They truly didn’t know of your existence.”
“How you know?”
“I asked.”
I blinked, halted, and swung my head around to face him, yelping as I banged my horn into the stone. “You ask? How ask? Why ask? When ask?”
“Are you going to ask who I asked and where I asked, too?”
“Okay. Who ask, where ask?”
“You’re supposed to guess who they are,” Anubis complained.
“Com-plain, com-plain, com-plain. You tell me to ask questions.”
“Samuel deserves every last bit of trouble you give him,” Anubis muttered. “I asked recently, shortly after you went on your trip with your friend but before I joined you here.”
I considered his answer, and as that was a rather short period of time, especially for a divine, I resumed my hike into the passage leading underground, following the pink, shimmering trail of light. “That fair. Why ask?”
“I wanted to prepare them for the marvel that is your existence. Even the divine need some warning about things like this. Your father, in particular, has a healthy sense of curiosity. Your mother is less curious, but she will wallow in guilt for inadvertently abandoning you. It was as much for their benefit as for yours. I’m benevolent like that. At times.”
“Are you good god or bad god?”
“I’m both. I’m more neutral than anything else. My wife is typically considered a good divine unless provoked. She’s a protector. Technically, I am as well, but not in the way people think.”
I considered him and his role in Egyptian lore. “You protect the natural order of death. You preserve death. Ensure those who die, die as fated?”
“That’s a rather good way of looking at it. I help maintain order among the dead until they are renewed into life. Death is not as permanent as most like to think, though some do opt to remain dead—or have not earned their way back into the light. It’s complicated.”
“Life is.” The natural passage widened to a massive staircase of carved stone, and the paintings I associated with Egyptian tombs decorated the walls.
A faint, golden light illuminated the way, and I took care with my steps so I wouldn’t tumble head over hoof into the depths. “I part Egyptian? In truth?”
“In truth. Your children will have their fair share of Egyptian in them, too.”
“They better not walk funny.”
Anubis snorted. “I see you’re comfortable with the idea of having children.”
“Want all the children. I get two for Christmas! Children are for hugging and loving, and they be the best children.” I pranced and swished my tail. “I fight for them in match!”
“You’re married to an incubus, Bailey. You can have as many children as you want whenever you want.”
I halted, tripped over my own hooves, and rolled to a halt. I landed on my back, snorting at having made an idiot out of myself. “No ask Quinn yet,” I confessed.
“You could always surprise him.”
“Can’t, he cheat. No babies unless ask. Me too coward to ask.” I rolled back to my hooves and shook out my fur. “You no tell soul I fall down steps because we talk kids.”
“If you don’t want to ask him, you can ask one of us to take care of the matter.”
I pricked my ears forward. “Be present to Quinn? Surprise?”
“I can confirm he is almost as child-focused as you are and would be very pleasantly surprised.”
I pranced on the steps, careful to keep from falling again. “Please? Please? All children!”
“You’re going to need to open a nursery at the station if you have all the children, Bailey.”
“There day-care next door. Good place. Cops use often. They good place, pro-tec-ted.”
“You have an entire family of divines who would be happy to babysit for you as needed.”
“That sound scary.”
Anubis laughed. “You’re wiser than you look.”
“Don’t want kids tied to chair for ex-po-sure therapy.”
“We didn’t exactly tie Samuel down. We just didn’t let him go home until he became accustomed to us is all.
It wasn’t that bad for him. Truly. He was just heavily sheltered until his mother felt he was ready to handle the insanity.
If your children are exposed from birth, our insanity will be their normality.
You must admit, Bailey. Little about you is normal. ”
“My poor babies.”
“Somehow, I think they’ll be just fine. I recommend you ask either the angel or the Devil for help with your scheme. Both can trick our little Samuel into behavior conducive for the development of little ones. I recommend you set a fixed number of children per pregnancy, else you may be surprised.”
I lifted a hoof and revealed a single claw. “This many.”
On second thought, if we only had one, they would be severely outnumbered by the adopted children. I revealed a second claw. “This many. That make even number of children. Only this many. You make sure those pesky divines know this. And those pesky others, too. This your job.”