24. She pointed at the Devil. “He’s wearing a Santa hat.”
TWENTY-FOUR
She pointed at the Devil. “He’s wearing a Santa hat.”
Quinn
I spent a glorious week and a half exploring Las Vegas with Bailey, the children, and our menagerie of animals.
At night, the instant one of my relatives retrieved the children and the pets, I did all the little things I hadn’t been able to do in New York.
I took Bailey out to dinner. Whenever a show caught her eye, I got tickets so we could see it.
We went to the aquarium. I even managed to wrangle a helicopter flight over the Grand Canyon with a sunset dinner and champagne.
She soaked everything in, and much like a flower finally given enough sunlight to thrive, she bloomed. Her joy became even more intoxicating than alcohol, and I almost regretted I hadn’t been fired like Chief Morriston likely desired.
Such days would be few and far between in our future, but they would happen.
Somehow, between the kids, between our work, and between everything, I’d see to it.
I’d show her that the future was something to cherish and look forward to. I’d turn the world upside down to make it happen for her, even if it took me our entire lifetimes to accomplish it.
True to the Devil’s word, we didn’t have to do much to plan our wedding, although I hit a snarl I wasn’t sure I could overcome.
Bailey wanted to fight for the kids as she’d been taught, determined to prove she’d do anything to be worthy of being a mother, even suffer through the flames of hell. She refused to be a mistake in their young lives.
The children weren’t interested in a fight. They’d already made their decision. It’d only taken a look for them to fall in love with her. Bailey hadn’t even needed a look.
She’d only needed to know there were children who needed her.
Some things were meant to be. I’d have a harder time of it than Bailey, but it was a battle I’d face with a smile. Bailey was, from that very first look, their mother.
It’d take time for them to truly accept me as their father.
In time, I would teach them their little hearts had enough room for me along with the memory of their true father, who’d paid the ultimate price for their sake.
I still hoped I could lay his ghost to rest so they could have closure, but I already knew the truth. I wouldn’t.
Angels couldn’t lie. Well, angels could lie, but they’d cease being an angel the instant they spoke a falsehood.
Christmas morning rolled around, and the two children lost their minds from the instant they woke up until presents, an obscene number of them, arrived by archangel.
The Devil played Santa, something so absurd Bailey almost made herself sick laughing.
I’d barely saved her from losing her breakfast by slapping my hand over her mouth and forcing her to breathe from her nose instead of swallowing air.
Patting her back resulted in a belch so epic my entire family stopped and stared at her.
“Oops,” she whispered before hiccuping. She pointed at the Devil. “He’s wearing a Santa hat. How can you expect me to not laugh?”
It wasn’t until I focused on her to make certain she wasn’t about to lose her breakfast again, that I realized we’d been played just like Perkins had asked for me to play his wife for Christmas.
I considered the likely culprits and picked the Devil as the one most likely to screw around with my evening ritual of preventing any unexpected additions to our family.
“Oops,” he said with an evil smirk.
I turned an accusing eye on my grandfather, one of the few beings alive capable of potentially stopping the Devil from following through with his trickery.
“Did you really think I’d tell him no to that?” the archangel replied.
“What are you talking about?” Bailey asked, staring at me with wide eyes.
I surrendered, not that I’d intended to put up much of a fight. Smiling, I dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. “Merry Christmas, my beautiful. They’re just busybodies.”
I’d have to hit them and thank them later. I’d also have to thank them for doing the heavy lifting with Tiffany, who like my wife, was a little warmer than the day before to my senses. Well, compared to Bailey, quite a bit warmer.
It took some concentrating, but someone had taken my thoughts about quadruplets seriously, and I hoped they wouldn’t kill me in nine months.
I shot the Devil a look and hoped he’d read my mind and be willing to negotiate on ensuring all four of the little ones made it into the world without incident.
“What about me?” my grandfather complained. “I’m just as useful as he is.”
My wife laughed, and she grinned at Tiffany, who was snuggled up with her husband while basking in the glow of excited children and pets playing with their new toys. “The problem with sharing space with divines is they can read minds, and they just won’t share what’s so funny.”
“Ain’t that the honest truth,” Tiffany replied. “Enjoy it while it lasts. We have a few hours before we have to get dressed and prepare for the wedding. Your idiot husband flew the entire damned station in.”
I loved being Bailey’s idiot husband, and I grinned at the annoyed scientist. “Yes.”
My wife sighed and used my lap as my chair, a situation I rather enjoyed. “Today is going to be long but good.”
Yes, it would be.
Bailey
An hour before I was scheduled to have a proper wedding ceremony while in a pretty white dress that belonged more on a supermodel than on me, I came to the conclusion my deadbeat parents wouldn’t be making an appearance.
I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or annoyed I wouldn’t be able to tear strips out of their flesh with the power of my words alone.
It would’ve been a memorable affair, but when I thought about it, I decided I didn’t want my husband to have to face those assholes again unless necessary.
“They’re not coming because I uninvited them,” a deep, rumbling but warm voice stated behind me.
I about jumped out of my skin, as I thought I’d been alone in the suite while Tiffany had gone off to wrangle her dress with the Devil’s help.
I would’ve found that a great deal more worrisome, except the Devil had assured me he walked the straight and narrow as he valued his family jewels, which belonged to his wife and only his wife.
I’d learned a very valuable lesson: I feared the Devil’s wife far more than I feared the Devil, and I hadn’t even met her yet.
I turned to discover a golden-skinned man with sun-bright hair and molten yellow eyes favoring me with a smile. I’d met enough divines to recognize one, although I had no idea who he was or why he’d popped in for a visit. “I think you may have just scared a few years off my life.”
His chuckles reminded me of rolling thunder. “You’ll recover.”
I considered his statement, weighed the advantages and disadvantages of them not attending, and ultimately nodded my approval.
“Thank you for uninviting them. It would have been a pity if I’d lost my new shoes up their asses.
Fortunately, I do have one shoe per asshole, but I would have to spend the rest of the night barefoot.
” I lifted the hem of my long, white dress to show off the pretty white heels, which would have inflicted glorious damage if I did get an opportunity to wield them like a weapon.
“More importantly than uninviting them, I made it clear if they ever brought any more distress to you in your entire lifetime, they would enjoy the company of a vengeful mummy until the End of Days, be it on this Earth or in the pits of hell. I may have informed them I would be rather pleased to escort them to hell myself to ensure they did not get lost on the way.”
“I have no idea who you are, but you have earned some major wedding day points,” I announced.
“I am a quarter contributor to your existence, something I regretfully did not know of until quite recently. I would have come sooner, but you were enjoying your time with your soul mate, and I was unwilling to interrupt your time of peace.”
“I’m upgrading you to half contributor, as I’ve no interest in acknowledging the assholes beyond a general willingness to insert my shoes up their asses.” While a silly enough declaration, I already liked the golden-skinned divine.
He didn’t seem to mind my foul mouth and readiness to indulge in violence.
“However much I am displeased with their cruelties, you cannot erase them.”
I snorted and waved my hand. “They’re not worth my time, and I will. They got an honorable mention on my birth certificate. That’s more than they deserve.”
“You get that from your mother’s side of the family,” he announced with so much certainty I laughed.
“That’s the unicorn side of the family?”
“That is correct.”
“The unicorn side of this family is badass. I breathe fire.”
“The fire breathing tendencies come from my side of the family.”
I thought about that, considering what I knew about Egyptian mythology. “That would make you Ra or one of the incarnations of Ra. Amun-Ra? Ra-Ra the Sun God?”
“Ra-Ra the Sun God?” The divine covered his mouth with a hand and cleared his throat. “Ra. Amun-Ra is a later merging and not my original self. Humans added that in later. They do strange things like that. As you’ve likely guessed, I am, indeed, a sun god.”
“The next time you decide to participate in nookie while possessing some human, I recommend you do a thorough background check on the humans you and your lover select.”
“I will endeavor to keep that in mind.”
“It’s true, then? You had no idea I existed?”
“Had I, you would have discovered yourself taken from your mortal parents and put into a more appropriate care.” Ra’s expression darkened. “I have been warned I may not hasten their escort to their eternal torment.”
“Christmas is a bit mandatory in the Quinn household, and so is that Easter one, apparently. Turns out He is Sam’s great grandfather or something like that. His lineage is confusing on a good day.”
“You are correct. I suppose that element of his lineage is suitable for you.”
I blinked at that. “Is this what they mean when discussing potentially overprotective parents?