3. I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry.
THREE
I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry.
Quinn’s mother dragged me to a mat placed disturbingly close to the canal’s edge and shoved me in the general direction of my husband’s grandfather, who kept me from falling on my face or plunging into the water.
“I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry,” I whispered to the gorgon.
Archambault Quinn patted my shoulders. “My little grandson’s mother is energetic, and she shares certain tendencies with her angelic father. As such, she is hoping all of her eligible offspring start producing children in high numbers.”
“Well, I’m married to a gorgon-incubus doohickey, so if she’s expecting anything less from her son, she’s even crazier than I am.
Considering how often I ask to fight for the right to claim baby gorgons, I don’t even know what she’s thinking.
I’m concerned for Sam’s sisters, though.
His mother said they were out to seduce strippers? ”
The gorgon pointed to the other side of the canal, where an entire gaggle of dark-haired, tall, and beautiful women bounced behind a cordon the hotel had set up to keep people from falling into the water.
“She lies. Those are his sisters. The younger ones are with my bride, who would rather not see me fight with you, as she’d be torn over joining in.
As she doesn’t know if she wants to fight with you or defend me, I suggested she take care of the younger girls. ”
My eyes widened, as they were all feminine versions of my husband. “They certainly look like they could seduce any stripper they want.”
“And they have their fair share of incubus genes, so they’re quite adept at finding men when they want them.
Thanks to those genes, they’ll likely become surrogates for hives, as they have inherited tendencies from both sides of the family.
Little Samuel is unfit for such a life. His sisters are quite interested, if you please—or even if you don’t.
They didn’t inherit any dignity from either side of the family. ” The gorgon sighed.
“What are we waiting for?”
“Local law enforcement to oversee everything. It should only be a few more minutes now that you’ve arrived.”
I nodded, and as I had nothing else to do, I went to work greeting all of Archambault’s serpents, noting most of them were primed to bite.
“Is this demonstration to see how many times a coral snake can bite me before I start frothing at the mouth? Their sacs are full.” The worst of the lot made a forlorn hiss and nuzzled my hand.
“Look at him. He’s going to burst if he doesn’t bite.
The poor baby. How could you be so cruel to him? ”
“I’m sure he’ll get his chance to bite you soon enough.
You wanted a fight, and since I can’t petrify you, I came prepared.
I have arranged for a little angelic and devilish help on that front, however, as I’d rather you not literally froth—and it will allow some of the humans to experience a gorgon’s bite without death being involved.
There is paperwork for most humans, as the partners of those bitten must consent to a heightened chance of pregnancy. ”
I bet the Devil had participated in the creation of that scheme, making full use of the ten minutes his wife had taken her eyes off him. “Seriously? What did you do to your poor snakes?”
“Rather than your typical response to my venom, you’ll find you’ll become quite interested in my little grandson, rather irresistibly interested.
I will cruelly win this fight through the unfair usage of your husband’s body.
” The gorgon smirked with zero evidence of shame at the underhanded tactic.
“Their venom production was modified to become a rather potent aphrodisiac partnered with a little angelic magic. I have been told if my bride does not get to enjoy the consequences of this meddling, I will be very unhappy for the rest of my vastly shortened life.”
The Devil and his brother truly loved me and wanted me to be happy. “Have fun, Archambault. For some reason I don’t understand, I even like you, so I’d be sad if you got kicked to death by your centaur bride.”
“It would be a terrible way for me to go, so I will make certain she enjoys a nip. I am planning on inquiring for a confirmation my serpents are all safe for her after our fight. You will be given, frankly, a rather ridiculous dose, so you return to your suite and stay there for a few days.”
My eyes widened. “For a few days?”
“We are planning on taking your whelps to the Grand Canyon and several state parks while you are occupied. They need to be socialized more and learn more about how to interact with other gorgons, so it will help on that front while you get to enjoy your time of rest.”
If I got a full dose of all his snakes and their venom, there would be nothing restful about the next few days of my life. I rubbed my hands together and smiled. “How does this little demonstration work?”
“As the whining would be incredible should I actually bruise you, I will demonstrate my various defenses with some stoner bait before I do the same demonstration with you, showcasing your various immunities. There are a lot of people who wish to undergo petrification. It’s usually barred without a special permit, but the hotel opted to get the permits required.
You will not be asked to handle any of the cleaning required, as there are CDC recruits who need to learn. ”
Score. “This just keeps getting better and better.”
Archambault chuckled. “You will particularly like the part where you will get to beat on me to your heart’s content to showcase how durable gorgons are. I will lecture the humans on why it is unwise to do everything you will surely do, including braid my serpents.”
“French braids, and I’ll make sure they all get their appropriate attention and can bite as needed.”
“They are being more patient than usual, although I’ve found they do enjoy when they can bite you. And you, insane woman you are, like it.”
“Well, each type of snake venom is different, and I react to it differently. Darryl’s snakes hurt like hell and itch, so I really don’t like when he bites me. Yours is like getting a little drunk without the hangover.”
“Ah, I understand. The lack of hangover appeals to you, as you cannot indulge in vices without paying for it in unfortunate ways.”
“It really does.” My husband, who had his mother hanging off his arm, hauled her over while his father laughed. “Grandfather, please tell my mother you’re not going to kill my wife during a demonstration.”
“My toxin has been modified, and even then, it just makes her drunk. There’s nothing to worry about, my precious little one.”
I couldn’t tell which one of the precious little ones Archambault addressed, but I figured we all classified to him, allowing him to indulge in his vague tendencies to his heart’s content.
Quinn’s mother sighed. “Tell this son of mine he should be fighting instead.”
“If he fights and gets bitten, he may spontaneously combust. I do not think giving the grandson of an incubus an aphrodisiac is a wise idea.”
That caught my husband’s attention. “Who did what to your snakes?”
“There are those present who wish to experience being bitten by my snakes. As my bites typically kill a human, my snakes underwent a minor adjustment for the day. Instead of lethal neurotoxins, their venom is now a rather potent aphrodisiac. You can thank your uncle. I believe it was his idea, although he had some help from his brothers to implement it.”
“Is it weird that I love the Devil?” I asked. “He’s just pure fun wrapped up in complete and total naughtiness. Plus, he likes cindercorns!”
Quinn bowed his head. “You do not need any aphrodisiacs, Bailey.”
“Like hell I don’t.” I went on guard and warded my husband away with two fingers. “Stay back, fiend. You shall not pass or take away my playtime with your grandfather. Back, you!”
“You ran across the entire United States because you weren’t getting enough sleep, my beautiful. This would not help with that problem.”
“I do not need nor want help with that problem today or for the next few days. Babysitters, Sam. We have babysitters. Babysitters.”
My husband laughed. “If you’re really sure. You’re biting off more than you can chew, but I’m not going to stop you if you really want to participate in this insanity,” he warned.
“We can open presents while you’re catching your breath,” I taunted, well aware he’d view my words as a challenge and do his best to make sure he won.
When he won, I won, and once we returned to work, we would have limited time where it was just us, and I intended to enjoy every minute of it. Of course, I expected he’d make me pay for mouthing off.
What a way to go.
“You’re playing with fire,” Quinn warned with his sexiest smirk.
Evil man. “I can play with the cranky gorgons if I want to, and you can’t stop me.”
Archambault rolled his eyes, and his coral snakes jockeyed for position to win the rights to get in petting and cuddling time with me. To make the serpents happy, I took my time greeting them all, giving them kisses on their little noses.
“She’s going to teach everyone it’s a good idea to kiss gorgons if she keeps that up,” my husband complained.
“They will be educated on why this isn’t a good idea, do not worry. It will involve some young human lady wishing to have a good evening with her gentleman getting a nip on the nose for her troubles. Then I will teach them only members of a gorgon’s family may be so familiar with us.”
“Bailey would be pulling that crap even if you weren’t my grandfather,” my husband replied.
While he was right, I sighed over his insistence on spilling my dark, dirty secrets.
Somehow, probably from overexposure to my husband, I’d developed a keen enjoyment of cuddling up to gorgons and their snakes. “Just no bile I have to clean up, please.”
“Bile is definitely unpleasant, and I’ll just stay back here, if you please,” my husband said, taking enough steps back his grandfather couldn’t spit on him even if he tried.