10. Do you think my tendency to be excessive comes from my father?
TEN
Do you think my tendency to be excessive comes from my father?
As promised, my father appeared, and he had all three of our pets with him.
I took Avalanche from his arms, and the ocelot kitten purred and tried to nurse off one of my knuckles.
“I’ll give you some milk soon, little baby,” I promised, setting her on the front seat and closing the door to keep her from escaping.
Sunny and Blizzard greeted me, washing my face with their cold, wet tongues.
“I took the liberty of teaching Sunny how to detect the rabies infection by scent. She will sit and bark twice if she detects the scent. Should she detect gorgon dust or bile, she will sit and bark three times.” My father handed me the leashes, claiming two of the cindercorn stuffed animals from the SUV and tucking them under his arm. “I will return shortly.”
He disappeared.
“Do you think my tendency to be excessive comes from my father?” I asked.
“There is no thinking involved on this one, my beautiful. I know it comes from your father. Your mother is the one who blurts embarrassing things, too. It seems you somehow managed to inherit many of their mannerisms.”
“Parasite!” I sang out, and I rewarded my puppies with kisses on their noses.
“Symbiont.”
“I’m definitely a parasite. I’m the best parasite. I managed to steal from the good parents, too.”
“Symbiont.”
We argued over which type of thieving organism I was until my father returned. Ra listened to our debate, which mostly consisted of reciting our opinion at each other while our pets watched in bemusement.
“You are both parasite and symbiont,” my father announced, gathering up the bags of goodies we’d purchased at the gift shop and filling his arms before he disappeared again.
It took him three trips to gather everything we didn’t need so the puppies and kitten could fit in the SUV with their supplies.
“You have made a good choice leaving your children in the care of a strong hive. They will be safest there. Should you contract rabies—”
I stared into my father’s bright eyes. “You mean when, right?”
He sighed. “When,” he agreed. “When you ultimately manage to contract rabies again, seek out alternative treatment methods. You do not wish to switch off your children’s immune systems so early in their development.
Make use of that archangel or his brother.
Both can handle that situation without testing them so early in their lives.
I recommend the highest grades of transformatives for your general transformations, as that will ease the way for your children and adapt them to shapeshifting while in the womb.
By the time their nervous system develops, the process will no longer be painful for them, should you indulge several times a week for the next few weeks. ”
Score. “We’re going to need to hit up the CDC for more pills, Quinn. I’m out of the good ones.”
“Okay. Anything else we should know about her diet moving forward? How about my snakes?”
“A wise man does not interfere with a pregnant woman’s desire for conquest. This is an ancient truth.
Their venom will not hurt your children, and it will help them develop their immune systems. Variety, however, is encouraged.
As my daughter enjoys checking on gorgon snakes, issue invitations for gorgon children to visit.
This way, your children can socialize while my daughter is bitten by the various serpents of the visiting hive.
That will satisfy those requirements. I have already handled speaking to the CDC regarding the appropriate napalm to be dispensed to her.
Do not be alarmed when she seeks out snowbanks to nap in. ”
“Me? Snowbanks?” I blurted.
“You will find pregnancy is full of adventures. You have already seen evidence of this. Were you not outside with little issue?”
“This early?” I poked my flat stomach. “You two are trouble.”
My husband laughed. “As long as I don’t lose my ability to coddle my wife, I don’t mind adventures.”
My father chuckled. “I will leave you to your work. Try not to create more trouble than you can handle.” Without another word, he vanished.
“I like that he didn’t even bother telling us not to create trouble, he just asked that we keep the trouble manageable.
” I herded the dogs into the back, and Avalanche climbed over the center console to join her canine friends, snuggling against Blizzard’s side.
The husky went to work grooming her, and I took pictures of them before they could grow up on me. “Where do you think we should start?”
“With some harebrained speculations and making use of some contacts. I’ll make some phone calls. Listen and take notes on your laptop. You’re about to get your first real introduction to gorgon subterfuge.”
“Gorgon subterfuge?”
“Yep. With the gorgons being targeted for eradication through rabies, they’re not going to sit still and let it happen.
Now that the gorgons are aware it’s malicious rather than natural, they will defend themselves.
I’m going to attempt to manipulate how they defend themselves to benefit our investigation. ”
My eyes widened. “Is this what you do at work all the time? You manipulate people?”
“Sometimes. Other times, I have to figure out what the greatest evil is and deal with it. For example, there are multiple mafia groups operating in New York. Some have been heavily invested in sex trafficking and enslavement. Another group is more involved with your more stereotypical local crimes and crime organizations. Which group do I dedicate the most resources on?”
“I’d hope the sex trafficking and enslavement group.”
“Yes. That is one of the simpler decisions to make. Things get complicated, especially with highly established crime operations. Not long ago, we made use of tip-offs from a crime network in a different city to bring down a large portion of one of those rings. That’s definitely a shade of gray in terms of the law, but it essentially meant I could let one fish go to catch more dangerous fish and get those off the streets. ”
I blinked. “Are you saying you cooperate with big-time criminals, Sam?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Every time we take out a ring, a new ring will start operations, and we always have to consider who will do the most evil. While we’d like to catch them all, we simply can’t. And some of the criminals I’ve worked with are fairly ethical.”
“How can a criminal be fairly ethical?”
“They pick their targets with care, do not threaten the average civilian, and keep to the spirit of certain laws. There’s a good example of this in a gang in Miami.
They essentially target some of the more hardened criminals the cops down there can’t get off the streets.
The gang’s actions fit the crimes, so the cops don’t tend to work too hard at taking out the gang.
You don’t want to be a serial killer in Miami right now.
The gang takes a brutal stance against mass murdering scumbags there. When caught, they turn up. In pieces.”
Ew. “But they don’t get a trial.”
“That’s part of why the gang has been left alone.
I figure they’re former law-enforcement, pushed out or retired from old age.
They’re taking all of the general steps to prove guilt.
There’s no trial, but they’re not just slaughtering people.
Some of them are registered bounty hunters and mercenaries, too, so if there is a hit out for one of these criminals, the gang will get involved, gather the evidence, and collect the bounty, which funds their activities legally. ”
I got into the SUV, dug out Avalanche’s bottle, and twisted in my seat to give her a drink while Quinn set up her litter box on the floorboard. The ocelot abandoned Blizzard long enough to eat before returning to her furry throne. “I’m sorry I stole your kitten.”
“I’m not. I view her as a sufficient reward for you. You’ve earned her after having climbed into how many dumpsters rescuing sick animals?”
“A few too many,” I admitted. “And there will be more. There are dumpsters I have not yet sufficiently explored in my quest to save every helpless animal on Earth.”
“You can’t keep them all.”
“I would have to take over the Earth to keep them all.” I considered the probability of successfully taking over the planet. “That seems like a lot of work. I’ll practice with my new job and reevaluate my stance on world domination later.”
My husband stared at me with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open.
“Taking over the planet while pregnant might be stressful on the babies, so I have to wait until after they’re born at the absolute earliest. Don’t worry so much, Quinn.”
“Well, I wasn’t worried before, but now I am.”
I giggled, wiped out the interior of the bottle, and used the erasable marker to jot a note reminding me to clean it properly before using it again. “You’re so easy.”
“I don’t know who taught you to be so wicked lately, but keep doing it.”
“You know, that’s a really good question. My husband, who keeps encouraging me to be more vocal and not worry about when I do stupid shit, couldn’t possibly have something to do with it. My husband, who rewards such behavior using his sinful body, couldn’t possibly hold any responsibility at all.”
“I have done a pretty good job if I do say so myself. You should reward me for a change.”
“You are so full of it, Mr. Samuel Quinn.”
After booking a hotel for us in Maine, one that could accommodate our eclectic collection of pets in exchange for offering the other guests a chance to meet and greet with them, Quinn took over our investigation.
He began his share of the work after connecting the SUV to his phone so he could call using the vehicle.
“Call Thomas of the Orlando hive,” he ordered.
The phone began to ring, and the sound came out of the vehicle’s sound system.
“Thomas,” a man with a nasally voice answered.
“It’s Samuel. My bride is listening in. We have some questions for you.”