Chapter Thirty-Seven #2
‘That is not true.’ Lim touched his fingers to Xian’s scarred cheek; a soft sigh came from the man, and he leaned into Lim’s touch.
‘You’re exactly who you should be. Now let’s have a good look.
All is well here.’ His fingers slid over the scars to the bump of Xian’s nose.
‘And here.’ He moved a finger over the flare of nostrils.
‘Very well in this area, a wonderful nose.’ That drew a tentative smile.
He moved next to the hardness of cheekbone and around the curve of Xian’s eye; moving cautiously, and with ecstatic disbelief.
‘And my eyes?’ Xian took shallow breaths. ‘Are they pleasing?’ His gaze cast downwards, moving for the first time from Lim’s face. ‘They are their usual colour, I mean.’
Lim nodded, watching Xian’s tongue dart over his lips.
‘Oh yes, they are very pleasing, the most enthralling shade of violet. Everything about you is pleasing.’ He was barely touching the man, and the encounter had him stiff beneath his drawers.
Lim prayed Xian would not notice the rise of his desires, unwilling to stop the play of this game.
He traced his fingers over the curve of Xian’s ear.
‘Rounded, not pointed, and not a trace of fur to be seen.’ The prince’s skin was like silk beneath his fingertip.
‘But I have to say, your fox was the most magnificent creature I’ve ever seen.
You need not fear holding any trace of him. ’
A short, delightful giggle came from Xian, which did nothing to help the situation between Lim’s legs. ‘You confound me, Song Lim. You sound so unafraid, but I cannot believe there wasn’t some moment when you were afraid.’
Lim ran his fingers down behind Xian’s ear, his knuckles brushing through the dampness of his hair. He really ought to get the man indoors, out of the breeze, but that would mean letting go of this perfectly unexpected moment. And trying to walk about with a jutting great pillar in his trousers.
‘Xian, you were a giant fox, jumping down out of the flames with teeth bared and eyes like shining topaz.’ Lim decided he’d not speak to Xian in half-truths. ‘Of course I was afraid. I thought for sure I was in the underworld, and you were a hellhound come to drag me deeper.’
Xian edged back. ‘That is awful—’
Lim slipped his hand around the back of Xian’s neck, not letting him edge away. ‘No, just a moment. I was afraid to begin with, yes, but it did not last. You did so well to let me know you were not my enemy.’ Xian relaxed into his touch. ‘And your talents with your tail were something to behold.’
A reluctant smile widened Xian’s lips. ‘Forward and foolish, my dear Song Lim.’
The simple endearment nearly buckled Lim’s knees. He leaned in, and when Xian did not shirk away, he rested his forehead against the prince’s.
They took a few breaths together, both shivering now.
‘You mother made a great sacrifice to protect you,’ Lim said.
‘I honour her for that. But you are not a child to have secrets kept from him anymore. You are a strong man, a man I shall follow to whatever corner of the world you need. I promise honesty in everything. If I am afraid, I will say so, if I fear for you, I will tell you that also. And when I am simply happy that we are together, then you shall know that too. I’ll tell you the truth in all things as we navigate this new world we will share. ’
Xian closed his eyes, his breath warming Lim’s lips. ‘You will stay with me, no matter how far my spirit takes me?’
‘I hate that you sound so surprised.’
Completely the wrong thing to say. Xian pressed into against Lim’s hand, seeking escape. There was nothing to be done but let him go. But the prince did not move far. Not even a step.
If Lim leaned forward an inch, their lips would meet. He’d never dare, though. His mouth was doing enough to frighten Xian away without an unwanted kiss.
‘But I am to go to England, London, to be exact,’ Xian said tightly. ‘That is where Sir William says I will find those who can protect me, and teach me what it is to be huli jing.’
‘So you’ve told me. But do you believe what he’s told you? He is a…curious man.’ Lim would not say more on the matter of the Englishman. This was Xian’s choice to make.
‘He is a complicated and tiresome man, and I think more dangerous than I imagine…but my instincts say he does not lie. And if not for him, I might have lived my whole life beholden to those who do not care for me.’
‘Then we go to England.’ Lim was only half-terrified by the idea.
The Englishman’s home was unfathomably far away, but that meant it was far away from the plots that surrounded the prince.
And what of the shoemakers there? The things he could learn.
The new techniques he might discover. And it would not be terrible to see Xian in one of those complicated ensembles the Englishman wore; coats and trousers and a waistcoat, stockings upon the legs, and a pair of boots so shiny he’d see his own reflection in them.
‘Lim,’ Xian gently removed him from the pleasing vision.
‘Yes?’
‘The British Isles are a long way from here—’
‘I know a little more of the world map than you might think.’
‘I just mean to say that it is a long way from anywhere you might call home.’
Lim scuffed his foot against the straw. ‘I’ll be home well enough. You’ll be there.’
‘Song Lim.’ Xian breathed his name, and sent a shiver up Lim’s spine. ‘I’m not sure I’m worthy of such loyalty.’
Xian was too quick to belittle himself; a lifetime of habit, Lim supposed.
‘Lucky you don’t get to decide these things then,’ Lim said. ‘So now we need a change of clothes for both of us, and a ship.’ He grimaced. ‘I’m not fond of the water, I’ve said that much. But so long as I have a few bottles of huangjiu with me that should see me through until we—’
The prince moved swiftly, a blur of pale skin and dark hair. Rushing up to press his lips against Lim’s.
The kiss came with such gentleness Lim’s heart leapt into his throat. He leaned in — before Xian left him — and brushed the tip of his tongue against the prince’s closed lips; wanting to know how much he could ask for.
The answer came in a soft gasp, and parting lips, a tentative heat meeting Lim’s own.
Lim deepened the kiss, his hand returning to cup Xian’s neck. He felt no resistance; the only whimper was one of soft delight.
Then it was over. The prince pulled away, and Lim let him go; making sure Xian knew he was master, and Lim his extraordinarily willing slave.
Xian touched his mouth, a hint of his blush evident even here in the gloom.
They stood wonderfully awkward; a sensation Lim had not felt since his very first kiss, too many years past.
‘So…I’ll wait in there?’ Xian pointed towards the ramshackle abode.
‘That would be wise, yes.’ Lim coughed the huskiness from his voice. ‘I’ll be only a quarter of the hour, if I think it will take longer I’ll come back then to tell you so.’
‘Very good.’ Xian found great interest in the rope that secured his dubious robe. ‘Thank you.’
‘Good. Yes. You’re welcome. No problem at all. Right. I’ll be off.’ He winced, praying Xian would turn away; that might stop the torrent of needless words rushing from Lim’s mouth.
He wasn’t sure he’d been this awkward at his very first kiss. Xian’s taste on his lips was scrambling his mind.
Xian turned and moved at a jog towards the dwelling; a place so far removed from a palace of any kind Lim couldn’t bear it.
‘He’s a prince you fool,’ he muttered. ‘Putting him in with spiderwebs. Stupid egg.’ He opened his mouth to call Xian back.
‘Go on. I promise I’ll be fine here,’ Xian said. ‘I’m not worried about spiderwebs, but I will be happier when you have returned.’
‘You heard me?’
Xian looked over his shoulder, and though he could not see the prince’s smile, Lim knew it was there. ‘An unnaturalness that is mine now. But at least I know I shall always hear you if you need me.’
Lim shook his head, unable to believe himself lucky enough to know such an astonishing man. ‘I cannot imagine a life where I do not need you, Xian.’
A soft exhale came from the prince. He paused in the doorway. ‘Do you need a man who blunders his way through something so simple as a kiss? Or who fears he may never desire to offer you more? Nothing of me is as it should be, Song Lim. Are you sure of this?’
‘I thought a fox an intelligent creature.’ Lim turned away, his eyes burning; tears brought forth by Xian’s earnest fears.
‘Seems this one is quite blind to what is plain. I wish to be yours, and you mine. How that bond exists between us, need not shape itself to anyone’s rules but ours.
’ He glanced back, wishing to settle one last matter.
‘And that was no blundered kiss, Xian. It was a gift, an honour. But if you do not wish there to be another, then I shall live happily, ever after, with the memory of this day.’
He hurried away before he declared anything more foolish and frightened a wary fox off for good.