Chapter 38
WES
Earlier tonight, I’d watched as the perfect opportunity to tell Nova the truth passed me by. It was the final piece of the puzzle—the omission she deserved, now more than ever—to understand me.
I hadn’t acted, the moment evaporated, and now, Nova was mine.
This beautiful, intelligent, witty, achingly loveable girl was mine.
Her laugh, her perfect pink lips, her every curve and thought and dream, her sweet pussy that responded so readily to my voice and my touch—it was all mine.
She was now my responsibility. I couldn’t get enough.
I could spend hours between her legs, making her come over and over again, ignoring her every plea for mercy.
That was exactly what I intended to do. It was one of many plans I had for her.
I’d spent the past month learning as much as I could about Nova’s inner world and her desires so I could be the best Dominant possible for her.
There was so much more for her to learn about herself, and I wanted to help her every step of the way.
I trust you.
The words tormented me as I showered with her, massaging her scalp as she leaned against my chest. I reminded myself a better opportunity would come. I would tell her everything, and I could finally close the door on my past for good.
That wasn’t the real me. The man Nova already knew was the real me.
She turned, that adorable, submissive look in her eyes. My heart clenched. I reached for her, holding her face in my hands.
When I first saw her today, she looked nothing like this.
She’d been tense, her lips tugging into a frown she actively fought.
I’d never seen her so stressed. I’d seen glimpses, especially over the past month, but this was different.
I wanted so badly to fix everything for her, but I knew that was overstepping my role.
Nova had made it clear which parts of her life were sacred, which were entirely her own.
I would never touch them unless she expressly asked.
But seeing her now—relaxed, blissful, and lightened of all previous tension—was enough to soothe my caregiver instincts. It felt like I’d served my purpose.
I dressed her in one of my Interpol concert t-shirts, enjoying the way it swallowed her frame. Seeing her covered in my clothes and bite marks soothed the possessiveness that was only growing more dangerously intense by the hour.
I followed her as she explored the rest of the floor, peeking inside the guest bedroom and my small office until she found herself staring up at the skylight in awe.
She was so fucking cute, it hurt.
“This is more shocking than the computer in your office.”
I laughed. “I may still need some amount of technology for work, but I assure you, it has been heavily secured.”
“Are you a secret CIA agent?” she asked suddenly, mouth agape. “That would explain, like, so much.”
I narrowed my eyes and lifted her into my arms. “How dare you. When I accused you of war crimes, it was a joke.”
She giggled, holding on to me as I carried her down the stairs.
“I’m sorry. I don’t actually believe you would ever help overthrow democratically elected regimes in South America and install puppet dictatorships to protect American economic and political interests.” She took a breath. “You’re too sexy for that.”
I was mesmerized by her as she made me laugh yet again. My eyes crinkled, and she stared at my lips in satisfaction.
This girl. God, I fucking—no, it was too early. I stopped my own internal thoughts, just as I had when Nova asked me how I felt about her.
I’d told her the truth. But there was also something stronger clicking into place, something terrifying and overwhelming, a feeling I knew would overpower me the moment I acted on our physical connection.
Big feelings were frightening for an addict. I hadn’t felt something so strong for someone since Kallie, and even then, it was different. That love was toxic. Neither of us were healed, nor were we stable people. It was messy and destructive, even independent of my drinking.
But Nova…
Her dark eyes watched me closely, trying to read my mind like I’d seen her attempt hundreds of times before.
Holding back with her hadn’t stopped the inevitable.
Nova was mine.
“Want to play Mario Party?” I asked.
Her whole face lit up. “Um, yes. We need pizza though.”
“I’ll order pizza.” I grinned as I set her down. “Sit down for a second. I’ll get you water.”
“Aftercare rules!”
I shook my head at her, still chuckling as I passed her a glass of water and pulled up the number of my favorite local pizza place.
“I’m going to beat your ass.”
My finger hovered over the call button. “Excuse me?” I turned her barstool to face me, towering over her. I narrowed my gaze at her wide eyes and slightly curved lips. “You’re going to beat my ass?”
Nova blinked. “Yes.”
I shook my head again, feigning severity. “You better hope you win, because your ass is the only ass on the line.”
She straightened. “I’m not worried.” She slowly smiled. “We just said ass way too many times in quick succession.”
I called the pizza place as I playfully swatted her thigh. Nova laughed and grabbed my hand, sweetly lifting it to her lips to kiss my knuckles.
It was a solid tactic, but unfortunately for her, I rather enjoyed making Nova suffer.
After crushing Nova mercilessly in Mario Party, I finally got my wish. She was sleeping in my bed, still wearing my shirt, her body perfectly curled against mine.
I’d woken up in the middle of the night, struggling to shake my ruminations.
I dreaded the moment Nova had to return to her world.
Rationally, I knew this was selfish, and I would never act on the urge to eclipse her life.
But my feelings for her and the threat of The Circle were testing me in every way imaginable.
I hated the idea of Nova being out of my sight, vulnerable.
I had to believe they’d tracked us through her phone, because the alternative was too dystopian and horrifying to fathom.
Yet, my intuition was glaring. None of this was a coincidence. I’d been drawn into this labyrinth for a reason far less esoteric than mere fate.
The sound of Nova whimpering brought me out of my half-conscious state. Her eyes were still closed, a tremor rolling through her form as she made another small noise of terror.
My grip on her tightened. The only thing I wanted Nova to fear was me.
She woke with a start and a gasp for air.
“You’re safe, baby,” I murmured, stroking her cheek.
When she turned in my arms to rest her head on my chest, her cheek was slick with tears. “Did I wake you?” she asked, voice raspy.
“No. I was already awake. Nightmare?” I asked gently. I raked a hand through her waves.
“I haven’t had that dream in years,” she said, strained, as if fighting back a sob.
“But this time, Lorelei was an adult. I saw her inside that room with her father. And instead of running, I was pushed outside by an invisible force. The door slammed shut on its own, and I couldn’t get in. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t—”
Her tears were warm as they leaked onto my chest.
“Oh, Nova,” I whispered. “I’ve got you. You’re not there anymore, and neither is Lorelei. You got her out, baby.” I held her to me, continuing to offer gentle touches as she broke down. Everything inside me wanted to fix her pain, to take it away, to heal a wound that wasn’t mine to heal.
When she’d settled and her breathing slowed, I spoke again. “I’m going to help you find her, okay? This all ends next weekend. I’m going to take care of it. I promise.”
God, I shouldn’t have promised something like that, not when my suspicions were still unconfirmed. And worse, if my suspicions were confirmed, things were going to get complicated and dangerous quickly.
I just wanted Nova to feel safe. I couldn’t stand her carrying this weight alone.
And when she relaxed in my arms, it was hard to feel any amount of regret.
I needed to call my sponsor as soon as she left and pick up an extra meeting this week.
I had no desire to drink, but the point of a spiritual program like AA was to take care of myself before anything had spiraled out of control.
Especially when it came to resentments and intense relationships, both of which could be deadly to addicts.
“Thank you, Wes,” she said.
I could do this. I could handle everything—my duty to Nova as her new Dom and partner, my responsibility to myself and my sobriety, and the sinister games wealthy assholes were playing with other people’s lives.
All I needed to do was find Nova’s friend and come clean about everything.