24. Eden
TWENTY-FOUR
EDEN
“You look stunning,” Teddy says for the fiftieth time, slipping his palm over my thigh and giving me a squeeze. The corsage on my wrist is heavy but exquisite, matching my dress perfectly. Peeking up at him, I smile softly, the sunset playing with his eyes, setting that teal ablaze. In the front seat of Cash’s Mustang, Tara rides, the two chattering about the weather while my world tilts, shifts, and becomes inexplicably entwined with Teddy’s in the backseat.
“Helena?” I ask softly, smiling. His fingers give another squeeze, and butterflies erupt in my stomach.
“Duh. May have been a little bit of a fantasy on my end.”
My cheeks heat, and I turn away, staring out the window. His soft chuckle rumbles to me. But as we draw nearer the hospice center, the thicker the silence grows.
By the time Cash parks, my hands are trembling.
“We’ll meet you two inside,” Teddy says, and Cash salutes him, striding away with Tara, so debonair in his tuxedo.
Teddy, though.
When I glance at him in confusion, my mind becomes befuddled all over again. He’s sinfully handsome, sporting an all black suit and tie, the only red accent his boutonniere. His hair is slicked back, his keen eyes dancing at me through the sunset.
He turns, scooting a knee onto the tough leather seat, facing me as fully as the lack of space will allow. “Nervous?”
I shrug, stuffing down my emotions like hoping to fit your socks into an already overflowing drawer. No matter how hard I try, different feelings are going to escape and roll across the floor. “It’s just…a lot, all at once. I’m not used to…having friends.”
His eyes darken a few shades, and all traces of humor that normally surrounds that smart mouth of his are gone. At that moment, the sun descends behind Mt. Rainier, bathing us both in violet twilight. He clears his throat, reaching for my hand, his nails sporting a new coat of black polish. Boys aren’t allowed to do anything deemed effeminate at our school, so this little ‘fuck you’ at the end of our senior year feels appropriate, somehow.
I wish he had put his snakebites back in.
“Eden…I know you’re too sweet to hold me accountable for how I treated you these last four years,” he begins, and my cheeks start to heat. “I’ll never forgive myself for watching you suffer. There’s no excuse good enough, other than I was self-absorbed and busy hating the world. I’ll spend the rest of this lifetime, and every lifetime after, trying to make it up to you. And I hope you know that I expect you to keep me in line.”
He flashes me a grin, and I answer it softly, my heart aching and tears clogging my throat. I’m going to ruin the striking masterpiece he created on my face earlier, smoky eyes and dark red lips to match my dress. But I tease him back with brevity, choosing to think happy thoughts until later, when ruining my makeup won’t matter.
“I don’t think I could keep you in line,” I laugh, shaking my head. His eyes dance, never leaving mine.
“I think you’re the only person alive who stands a chance.”
My smile fades like the waning sunset, and something foreboding grips at my chest, sinking into my stomach. I feel like he’s trying to tell me something, but whatever it is, I don’t know. Not yet. But I think I will learn, and soon. This road we’re heading down is fraught with peril and sorrow…I just hope there’s an end in sight, and I hope that it’s happy for the two of us.
“I’ll do that,” I say with a nod. “But…”
I chew my lip, ready to spill my own truth to him, no matter how much I think it will hurt him. “I don’t forgive you. I’m…I’m not there, not yet.”
He grins lopsidedly, his reaction unexpected but forceful.
“Good. You shouldn’t. I was an asshole, and so was Cash, so be sure to make him apologize, too.”
I snort, rolling my eyes.
“He tried during pickleball. Tied Brant’s shoelaces together when he called me a freak.”
Teddy bursts forth with more of that rich laughter I’m growing to love, and I smile back. He grips my fingers in his, giving them a squeeze.
“Will you do me the honor of introducing me to your dad?”
Feeling a little lighter, I nod.
“Wow…lovebug, you look…”
I shake my head with a light laugh, standing beside my father’s bed, gaze forever searching his face. His eyes have sunken another degree, his cheeks paler and his hair longer, shaggier. But he beams with pride, tears pooling in his eyes.
Teddy and the rest are waiting outside the room, giving me a few minutes alone with him. I didn’t think I’d need it, but I do, and I grip my father’s weak fingers, sinking down onto the edge of his lumpy bed. “Is it too much?”
He smiles, reaching up to brush a strand of hair from my cheek. Tara and Teddy attacked my messy bun, curling my long locks before pinning them up, referencing the photo of Helena to get the look just right. “No, Eden. You’re beautiful. And you’re happy. I haven't seen you smile like this in…in a long time.”
Again, I have to fight against the incoming tears that threaten to consume me.
“Yeah,” I whisper, clearing my throat of the emotions lodged there. “Yeah I…I am happy. Why does that feel so wrong right now?”
He smiles at me, but there’s sorrow in his eyes, as deep as any physical wound would go. “You feel the need to be sad for me, lovebug, but that’s not what I want for you. I’m beyond happy, Eden. I’ve been so blessed to watch you become the kind, brilliant woman you are, and I can leave this life knowing that you’ll be okay.”
Tears cascade down my cheeks like a waterfall after a monsoon, and I can’t respond. He squeezes my hand as tight as he’s able, emphasizing his next words. “Eden, I want you to be happy. You deserve every good thing in this world after all you’ve gone through. And if that boy out there makes you happy, then that’s all I could ever ask for.”
“He does,” I croak, smiling wanly through my tears before I laugh. That feeling of joy juxtaposed with so much despair is hard to swallow down. “He does make me happy. I think…you’ll like him.”
He rubs his thumb across the back of my hand.
“Let me scare him a little. I’ll like him even more, then.”
“Dad!” I laugh, dabbing at my wet cheeks. He grins, pressing the nurse button on his bedside remote. The line crackles.
“Nurse’s station, what can we help you with?”
“Can you send in Betsy with that surprise, please?”
My brows furrow, and my stomach winds up like a frightened snake.
“Surprise?” I hiss.
He ignores me with a smile, but moments later, the door bursts open, and in marches Cash, proudly carrying three boxes of pizza. Behind him, his mom brings in a liter of soda and a polaroid camera.
And behind him, Teddy and his mom linger, Teddy holding something behind his back. Shocked, I stand, body trembling as my nerves short-circuit. When he crosses the threshold into the room, he brings forth a handmade poster board sign, the hues—black and red—matching the theme of the night with perfection. Glittery words jump out at me, along with two side profile faces of a girl and a boy—just like the album cover of my favorite band.
I’m not okay if you don’t go to prom with me , the sign reads, and he holds it for me to see, grinning boyishly but proudly.
“Let’s eat before I get shitfaced!” Cash laughs, sliding the pizzas onto a table and flipping open the lid. “Nice to meet you, Edie’s dad!”
“You are not drinking tonight, Cash Michael Johnson, and if I find out you do, you can kiss that car goodbye,” Betsy seethes in warning while her son just chuckles and stuffs his face. My dad laughs, loudly . Raw and radiant joy sparks in his eyes. He’s never had so many visitors before.
“Kids will be kids,” Tara says, glaring at the side of Teddy’s face. He continues to hold my gaze, waiting for my answer. Heart near to bursting, I nod, stepping away from my dad’s bed to lace our fingers together and pull him close.
“Dad,” I say, voice wavering with nerves. “Dad, this is Teddy.”
My dad grins softly up at him, sticking out his hand. They shake, and Teddy holds his gaze like a gentleman. “I promise to take care of her tonight, Sir. And every night hereafter, even if she doesn’t want me to. I’ve learned she’s quite the obstinate little shit.”
“Teddy, my God,” Tara hisses, shaking her head and hiding her face in her hands.
I bite my lip, unsure of how Teddy’s…well, Teddy-ish ways will seem to my militaristic father. Everyone is silent for a heavy beat, and then his raspy chuckle shakes his thinning frame, and I breathe a silent sigh of relief.
“Good to hear, son. She’s been alone for too long. And she is a little shit, but she’s a…special girl.”
Teddy beams, snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me into his warm side. It feels so good, his body next to mine, his scent strong in my nose, those sinuous muscles making me feel safe. My dad grins at us, eyes misting over. I reach for his hand, holding us all together as flowers bloom from the cracks in my heart.