Epilogue
TEDDY
1 Day Earlier
“Before you disappear again, will you at least tell me why you’re so fond of frequenting an abandoned hospital, Theodore?"
Shit .
Hand on the brass knob for the backdoor, I carefully arrange my facial features and turn to face my mother. She stands at the entryway of the kitchen, bags beneath her tired eyes, arms crossed. Though she appears pissed, I see the spark of mischief in her gaze and relax. If she had to choose between me breaking and entering or killing people, the decision would be easy. How she knows we hang out there is a conundrum, so I search her gaze more thoroughly and roll my eyes when my genius brain figures it out.
“Cash’s fucking ‘Stang,” I mutter to myself. She hides a tempered smile and wanders into the kitchen, hiding the trembling of her hands as she clenches them near her ribs.
Leaning across the counter, she levels me with that parental gaze I know too well.
“He’s put quite a few miles on it in recent weeks. Ever since you and Eden started dating. His mom was…worried.”
“We’re not doing anything…illegal.” Not yet, anyways . My eyes dart to the clock on the microwave, and my muscles tense. I’m late, and I have someone very important to meet up with. She frowns.
“You are an adult…” she trails off, eyes wandering away. With a sigh, I let my bag slip from my shoulders and hit the floor with a soft thud, the ax nestled safely between rope and duct tape and a few more knives. Ever since Eden shared St. Ignatius with me, I’ve been planning all the souls I yearn to take out there. Inducing true, real fear in others is what gets me off. There’s no better place than a haunted building to chase my victims through.
Rounding the counters, I grip her bony shoulders and pull her into a hug, resting my chin on her head. She’s slow to hug me back, warm and familiar but trembling constantly, now.
“Are you cold?” I ask, pulling her in tighter, unwilling to accept that maybe mom has the disease that killed her mother before I was even born. It’s something I’ve refused to acknowledge for years, but something that is now glaringly obvious.
“Don’t you worry about me. Just…make good decisions, honey. Don’t…don’t bring Cash or Eden?—”
Holding her shoulders, I pull her away and smirk at her.
“Who do you think brought me out there, mom? It’s why…” Now it’s my turn to trail off, to search for the right words to describe Eden and what she is and what she means to me, but I don’t even attempt to, because I know I will fall woefully short.
She grins all the same.
“You two…cut from the same cloth,” she murmurs, reaching up to brush her thumb over my cheekbone.
“I never thought I’d find someone so… perfect ,” I admit, uttering the last word. My mom beams but tries to fight it, and her eyes glisten in pride.
“I always hoped you’d find someone worthy of the love I know you have to give. And I know she is worthy. Just…no grandkids yet, please.”
A slow, snarky smirk pulls up the corner of my mouth.
“No promises.”
She blushes furiously and glares, swatting at me.
“Go get her, you beautiful boy. I love you.”
“Love you, too, mom.”
“So,” the raspy, smoker’s voice alerts me to Vic’s approach as I stand before the asylum, staring up into the derelict perfection that is this building. “Little sunshine found this place, eh?”
I nod, not giving him a glance yet, eyes searching the windows for signs of any ghostly faces. It’s frustrating, being able to see them but also not. I am man enough to admit that I’m fucking jealous of Eden’s gift and talent. Why did I get stuck hearing voices instead?
They all call me an asshole for wishing them away, and Vic elbows me, bringing me back to the present.
“Yeah, a few years ago.”
I glance at him. His skin is waxy and pale in the silvery sunlight, his eyes even more sunken, his cheekbones so prominent and striking he’s nothing more than a skeleton with skin draped over his frame. My shoulders droop slowly. My mind is a dark, twisted, obnoxious place. It forces me to hyperfixate on very specific things; threats, killing, Eden. When someone is safe for me to be around, they fade into the background, and I miss the glaringly obvious.
With my mom, it’s denial. With Vic, I’m just a selfish, self-absorbed asshole. The voices hum in agreement, still pissed at me for my slight a moment ago.
I cross my arms, still studying his face as he glares up into the gaping, empty windows.
“How long do you have left?”
His eyes cut to me so quickly it’s unnerving. I can see he wants to deny it, too, but after gritting his teeth, he sighs through his nose, crosses his arms, and drops his gaze to his feet.
“Days. Weeks, if I’m unfortunate enough.”
“What is it?”
The side of his face lifts in a smirk, but he doesn’t look at me, instead glancing back up at St. Ignatius.
“Lung cancer.”
“And you haven’t told her?”
Now he turns his ire-filled glare to me.
“After the kid just lost her father the same fuckin’ way?”
I frown, pity swirling in my gut. Pity for Eden, and for Vic. She’ll take his death hard.
“Sorry,” I mutter. He sighs again, his breathing labored and crackly.
“Don’t be. I deserve what I have coming for me. I’d prefer a bullet to my head over this shit,” he says, motioning to his waiflike body. My frown deepens.
“That’s probably what’s going to happen.”
My voice is low, guarded, but when his eyes find mine again, the truth is there, however abhorrent. He knows Dick and Daniel are onto us for killing that fucker who tried to rape Eden. We’ve both seen the emails, the gun Daniel bought.
“If I’m going to die, boy?—”
“I’ll take care of her,” I say with surety. He snorts and shakes his head.
“Get her out of that fuckin’ place. Don’t care how. You stay, she goes, or I’ll find a way to eat your fuckin’ heart while it’s still beating,” he seethes. I smirk, sadness coursing through me for a thousand reasons.
I’m going to lose my mom to a disease that runs rampant in our family. I’m going to lose Vic, either to the cancer eating his organs, or to Daniel’s stupidity. And in a way, I’m going to lose Eden, because I’ve known since the beginning, since I first met her eyes at the circus, that I would do anything to get her out of there.
And I know, with a sorrow-laden heart, exactly what it is I will do to free her from this hell. Dick has only ever desired one thing since he took us in, and that’s full control over me, my body. Can I not sacrifice myself to save the girl I fucking love?
“Already planned it out,” I say lowly, kicking at pebbles. There’s no conviction in my tone, because the voices and my body rebel at the mere thought of submitting to anyone, but especially that fucker. Vic’s surprisingly strong grip on my arm has my eyes bouncing to his, and he gives me a frown.
“If it’s already planned out, don’t get fuckin’ mopey about it. Man up and do it.”
Before I can say anything in response, he releases me and strides back to his car. I assume he’s about to open his trunk, where a drugged Miss Goss is hogtied, but he beelines for the backseat instead. Opening the door, he rummages around for a moment, backing out with a shiny black plastic bag.
He stops beside me, a smirk on his lips, and hands me the bag. Unsurely, I take it, knowing what it is without even looking. My heart clenches, and I give one last look to the impenetrable castle of our little kingdom. It will be ours, someday. Someday, I’ll reclaim this haven for the dead with Eden by my side. But until then?
I peel back the plastic and pull the sturdy felt object from the dark depths. A slow grin curls my lips. I’ll wait to be the king of the damned for however long it fucking takes, because in this one item is the brutal, honest truth. To save Eden, to save my mom, there is no other option in this world, not anymore. So I hold it high, and proud, displaying it for the dead to see.
A circus master’s hat.